Ongoing Training

I know that it has been a while since I have written an entry.  While I have had a lot of things inspire a blog entry, I have not had much time and/or interest in writing.  Because of this, I am taking a little time now to do so.

I just finished my yearly In-Service with the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services yesterday.  It’s a week long series of classes.  Some of them, like fire safety and report writing are required by everyone.  Others, like PPCT (Pressure Point Control Tactics) are only required for those who have direct Inmate contact.  As a Unit Case Worker, I have to not only take ‘basic self-defense,’ but more advanced defense and control tactics in order to protect myself and other staff from an aggressive Inmate.

This past week was enjoyable and challenging.  Because I am a certified ASHI (American Safety and Health Institute – https://emergencycare.hsi.com/) First Aid and CPR qualified, instead of taking the First Aid/CPR class, I taught part of it.  Although I had a bit of a rough start, I did manage to keep it interesting and informative.  I focused on the First Aid part while the Training Specialist, in charge of the In-Service classes, taught the CPR part.  This was good because we had a large class, so out tag teaming it broke it up into more manageable groups.  That was a lot of fun!

Because my back problems flared up last week, while on a short vacation or all things, I was really worried about the self-defense part this past week.  However, since God evidently wants me to stay where I am at, He enabled me to not just partake in the class, but to participate normally.  That is, although my back bothered me at times, it did not limit me in what I could do.  And, since martial arts is something I have always been very interested in, I really got a good workout, for two days straight.

In fact, the Training Specialist joked with me yesterday morning, the day after all of the PPCT/self-defense training.  Because of all that I did in training, she was not expecting me to be in class yesterday.  I then told her that, quite frankly, I was astounded that I was not in excruciating pain myself.

Now, I just have to finish my on-line portion of my In-Service.  This is the part that I am not overly thrilled about.  Having grown up on the 70s and 80s, my preference is the ‘traditional classroom.’  While I can learn from an online course, it just isn’t the same as attending the class, having a physical book(s), and being able to actively interact with the instructor and other students.  It just isn’t as enriching.

Now, there are some on-line things that I have been actively taking advantage of that I do like.  For example, I am really enjoying Duolingo (https://www.duolingo.com/).  I am using it to maintain my German language skills and learn Spanish.  Although it’s not nearly as good as actually partaking in a class, it is set up in such a way as to enable a person to learn another language.  Of all the different ‘learn-at-your-own-pace’ books and programs that I have tried over the years, this one is one of the best.  In my opinion…

At least the training that I am doing for the Nebraska Department of Corrections isn’t as intense and annoying as some of the Army training that I have done over the years.  For example, the ‘Accident Avoidance’ course that I’ve taken yearly since 2003 has not changed at all.  It not only has the same person narrate it, while wearing ‘old school’ BDUs, which were replaced by the ACUs many years ago, but the scenarios have not changed.  And, since you can’t skip though things, one is forced to sit through the exact…same…annoying…unchanging…scenario…  To me, that is a very good definition of ‘death by PowerPoint.’ 

I also had to do many other classes in order to be able to promote to Staff Sergeant and for being a ADSO (Additional Duty Safety Officer) for my unit.  The on-line course for promotions, SSD2 (Self-Structured Development, I believe) was very long and tiring.  Don’t get me wrong…  There was a lot of good things in the course.  And, much of it was definitely important things to know and understand so that I could be a good mid-level leader.  However, the class’ approach and teaching style often left a lot to be desired.  At least for me, it was not very engaging at times.

I do know that everyone learns differently.  What works well for one person may not work as well for someone else.  For me, on-line classes have to be done in a very engaging way, and be something that I am really interested in, for it to be effective and enjoyable.  And, I do understand that many large corporations/organizations do a lot of the on-line training because it cuts down on their cots.  Understandable… 

Oh, well…  In a little bit, I will return to my on-line training for NDCS and continue to plod through it.  After that, I will do some on-line training that I really enjoy.  That is, the Duolingo course.  I will also probably engage in one of my new hobbies this weekend.  Well, finish something from a new hobby.  More about that later, though…

In closing, I definitely do encourage all of you to continue to learn and grow.  Find avenues, be it from an instructor in a class, from YouTube videos, or from a book, to learn new things and improve skills that you already have.  The more you learn, the more you better your life and the lives of those around you.

In Christ,

Ray

Been a Challenging Few Weeks

These past few months have been very challenging for myself and my family.  Some of them good and some of them not so good.  Some days I have had time to write, but no inspiration or desire to.  Other days, I wanted to write but had to take care of other responsibilities.  Been very frustrating at times.

I have started my new position as Unit Case Worker.  Although I didn’t have a whole of quality ‘on the job training,’ I did get some.  As is often the case, I did a lot of ‘hit the ground running’ kind of training.  But, having been an Acting Case Worker several times before this, I was able to adapt pretty quickly.  For the most part, I have been working either in 3AB or one of the Protective Custody units.  Housing Unit 3 has been pretty smooth for the most part.  Many of the Inmates there have known me for years, so they know what to expect from me.  In fact, many of them seem to prefer me in my new Case Worker role.

The Protective Custody (PC) units that I have worked with have either been pretty good or awful.  Well, one unit in particular houses the ‘more difficult’ Inmates who are PC, and then tend to be the most difficult to deal with.  At least for me.  What’s ironic is that another group that are in a substance abuse program often have similar issues as the other ‘difficult’ PC group.  However, because of the program that they are in and how it can impact their parole, promotion to a lower custody and transfer to another institution, or release, they have a very strong incentive to follow directions.  It is very interesting noting the different dynamics in the different units.

About a week ago I put in my bid for what shift and Housing Unit that I want to work on.  I should find out this week with whether I got my first or second choice.  Considering the fact that both are for the same shift (Afternoon/evening) and same Housing Unit, just different sides, either one is fine with me.

Probably one of my biggest challenges the past few months have been the chronic pain that I deal with on a daily basis.  After 15 years with the Army, three of them with the 82^nd Airborne Division, and during my 4^th deployment, I developed problems with my lower back and both knees.  It turns out that I have arthritis in both knees, though my right usually is worse, and permanent damage to several of the discs in my lower back.  This past winter had been really rough, especially with my knees. 

It hasn’t been all bad.  Our daughter just celebrated a birthday earlier this month and participated in her first dance competition.  Her group did so well that they took all of the top awards for their age group, which was very impressive.  Needless to say, we were all very proud of her for that!

Both kids are doing pretty well in school.  Their third quarter finished recently, and both received a lot of good marks.  And both improved in several catagories since last quarter, which is also awesome.

On the few occasions that weather and my schedule has allowed me, I have been leading an adult Bible Study.  At the beginning of this year, our pastor had our congregation read through the book “All In” by Mark Batterson.  Due to my work load, I was not able to read the book until recently.  And, I have not read too much yet.  However, my wife did read the whole book with the rest of the church.  She thought that it was pretty good, but didn’t really go into the “so what, now what?”  That is, how does one actively apply what has been learned.

So, what I decided to do was ask those that attend the Bible Study to come up with at least one example in the Old Testament and the New Testament that they though really embraced the “all in” that the book talks about.  So, we have talked about Malachi and will be talking about John the Baptist next week.  In the future we will discuss people like Jeremiah, Mary the Mother of Jesus, and several others.  If you are interested, I can put my notes into a blog entry or two in the future.  Just let me know.

Oh, one other significant thing going on in our lives.  I have started the Army Medical Evaluation Board (MEB) for getting medically retired from the Army.  I had hoped that I could get my 20 and earn at least my E7/Sergeant First Class.  But, unfortunately, that is not going to happen.  In fact, I will be attending a retirement brief next month.  I will be retiring with 18+ years in the Army, both Active Duty and with the Nebraska National Guard.  I have had many enjoyable times, and many painful times.  But, I have also learned a lot.  Of all the deployments that I’ve had, probably my third one in 2010 was the most enjoyable and awe-inspiring.  But, that’s a story for another time.

Not a whole lot else is new for us.  Just really busy with all that is going on.  My wife hopes to be teaching within the next few years, so that will be another positive change in our lives.  I will also be going through training with the Nebraska Department of Corrections next week.  With this training, I will not only be assisting with teaching First Aid/CPR (through ASHI), but also facilitating a program geared with helping Inmates change destructive thinking.  At least, that is how I understand it.  More on that another time, too.

Please do not hesitate to let me know what you think of my blog entries.  Or, if you would like me to post my thoughts on a particular topic, let me know.  I have noticed that I do not have a followers.  If you really enjoy what I write, that will be the easiest way to know when I will be posting more.

In Christ,

RC

Lost in Translation

Have you ever had an experience where you tried to tell a story and someone, or maybe your whole audience, couldn’t understand why something was funny or embarrassing?  Or has someone told you a story about their childhood or travel experience that left them in stiches but left you just ‘scratching your head’ because it didn’t make much sense to you?  I’m sure that all of us have had such experiences from time-to-time.  For those of you who have traveled a lot within your own country, or especially to other countries, this is probably a familiar experience.  I know that it is to me.

This morning I had an awesome opportunity with helping to lead worship in my church.  Every year at about this time in the summer, we have Germanfest.  Because many of the people who settled here in this part of Syracuse are of German heritage, we have this festival to celebrate it.  We also have a joint worship service, too.  And it was during this joint service that I helped out.

What did I do?  I read responsive reading and the Lord’s Prayer, in German.  Of course, we had the English translation in the bulletin and on the PowerPoint.  It made for some entertaining experiences.  Instead of just jumping into the responsive reading with the German, I think I should have giving some instructions first.  It took a few moments for people to catch on, but they did. 

What was really entertaining was leading the Lord’s Prayer.  I actually gave instructions this time, that I was going to read it in German and for those in the congregation will recite it in English.  So, I read the German while they said it in English.  Well, for those who have not spoken something in a foreign language in front of people, especially while they were talking, it’s not very easy.  It is probably also the reason why I am not a professional interpreter.  That is, translating something from one language to another while people are talking. 

It got me thinking about my many experiences with languages over the years.  For those who don’t know me, I have always been fascinated by other languages and cultures.  Whether the languages and cultures are made up like the Klingons in Star Trek or the Hutts in Star Wars, I find them fascinating.  Actual languages in our world, whether modern or ancient, fascinate me as well.  Not just languages, but other cultures as well greatly interest me.

For those who do not know, I have been deployed to Iraq three different times and Qatar once.  I have also spent a significant amount of time in Europe, primarily in Germany, Holland, and the Alsace/Lorraine Valley (a region on the French/German Boarder), in the city of Strasbourg.  With each of the different experiences in each of those areas, I learned many new things about other cultures and peoples.  In fact, my favorite job that I have ever had was working in the International Zone Universal Placarding (IZUP) Office, back in 2010, creating security placards for vehicles.  These placards were needed to access the International Zone in Baghdad, Iraq, and certain areas within the IZ. 

In order to do my job, I had to interact with many different people from many different countries.  Because of my previous experiences with other cultures while in high school, collage, and in seminary, I had a lot of knowledge to draw upon in order to interact with the many different people.  For example, when the security group from one of the Asian embassies came in to have their placards renewed, I was the next available person to work with them.  Because of Asian friends that I had in the past, I knew the first thing I needed to do in order to show them respect was to bow, so I did.  This sign of respect made such an impact with this group that, when they came back on a couple of other occasions, they would always wait at the door until I was available.

Whether it is working with German, the rudimentary Spanish or Arabic that I have picked up over the years, or the biblical Greek and biblical Hebrew that I studied in seminary, I have long understood that translating things from one language to another can be challenging at times.  There are times where word or phrases translate easily.  Other times, one has to creatively interpret one idea to another.  Whether we are talking about idiomatic phrases, like ‘making a mountain out of a molehill,’ or translating prose or poetry, it can sometimes be very difficult.

Just as understanding another language can be difficult, understanding a different culture can be just as hard.  One example that I am very familiar with is the differences between American hygiene and typical Middle Eastern or African hygiene.  In most places in the Middle East and in Africa, people bathe regularly, but they do not ‘perfume’ themselves with deodorant, antiperspirant, etc.; whereas, we Americans pride ourselves on how good we smell.

It has been my experience that this ‘pride’ can be very harmful for good interpersonal and international relations.  For example, I had two friends from Africa while at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary.  Because of my prior experiences, I was annoyed by their lack of deodorant, but ‘not offended.’  This was not the case with all of my fellow students.  Many of them, believe it or not, would talk disrespectfully about them when they were not around.  This was only because they ‘smell like us.’  On several occasions, I tried to help my fellow students that, although they bathed regularly, they smelled differently only because they didn’t wear deodorant.  That wasn’t a part of their culture.  Sadly, many of my fellow students didn’t care about ‘cultural differences,’ just that ‘they stink!’ 

One evening, I was in the basement of the dorm cooking my supper.  At least one other fellow student was with me at this time.  After a few minutes, while my back was to the door to the kitchen, I noticed a familiar scent and said, “Good evening ‘Paul,’ here to make supper?”  The other student, from Africa, stopped dead in his tracks next to me and said, “Ray, how did you know it was me?”  I just responded, “Lucky guess?”  In reality, over time, I realized that each of the two men had individual scents.  These different scents were very distinct.  Upon realizing this, I was soon able to recognize when either one of them came into a room.  Well, for me it was very entertaining…

Whenever I preach or do a Bible Study, I make it a point to take time understanding what the particular passage meant in the original language and culture.  Only after grasping a good understanding of how the original audience would have received and understood it do I try to interpret it for modern listeners and/or readers.  Being a person who loves learning and seeks to understand where others come from, this is natural for me.  However, I have realized many years ago that many others do not share this passion.  Therefore I make it a point to help others to understand this.

The point that I am trying to make?  Each of us have our own cultural and regional upbringings that have helped define each of us as we are as a unique person.  Our own life experiences make us unique and different.  And the culture and region that we grow up in help us to further interpret those experiences.  Because different ethnic groups, regions within a country, or even the people of other countries, do things differently, sharing experiences can sometimes be difficult.  Not only because of language barriers, but also because of cultural, ethnical, and/or religious differences.  We all have our set beliefs and biases.  We all have them.  However, to better understand others, we often have to try to understand how others believe, think, and behave.  In doing so, we show them respect for who they are.  Though this can often be challenging, maybe even extremely difficult, we should strive to do so.  Are you up to the challenge?

RC

Looking at the Psalms

In a couple of weeks, I will re-start the Bible Study that I do. I am excited about it, because it gives me a creative outlet and something to look forward to each week. Honestly, I love teaching theology! At least for now, we will be looking at The Psalms. "Why?" you may ask. Well, several reasons.

The primary reason is because of the role that Psalms plays in worship. The Psalms were an integral part of the ancient Hebrew worship, and often is major part of ours. I am sure that you have noticed this. However, have you taken time to sit down and read through each of these Psalms that were used in a worship service and examined them in detail? If your church uses a Psalm as a ‘call’ and ‘response,’ have you really thought about what you were saying? Have you thought about what kind of events might have inspired a specific Psalm, or what the original words might convey in meaning?

Many of the Psalms are short, but full of vivid imagery and deep in theology. This will give us a lot to think about, pray about, and discuss. Another important thing is that most of these were someone's prayer that they wrote down. It was their way of putting words to what was on their heart and on their mind. Therefore, they can help us put our thoughts and feelings into prayer.

On a related note, the Psalms cover a very, very diverse range of emotions. From joy, to sadness, to loss, to being deeply confused, to absolute range, and many emotions in between. According to Paul in Romans 8:26-27, we see that the Holy Spirit aids us in our prayers, and searches our hearts. From the readings of the Psalms that I have done over the years, they have helped me put to words what I might be feeling and/or thinking.

While I am not fluent in Hebrew, I can work with that language much more easily than I can Greek. This will help me a lot with researching the history and original text. Believe it or not, this can be very important. For example, in Psalms 23, the original words used in verse 4 actually indicate a ‘staff’ and a ‘club?’ Which indicates to me that God will protect me from dangers that are ‘at a distance’ and those that are ‘right up close.’ That is pretty significant to me, don’t you think?

While most Psalms are a complete thought/prayer in and of themselves, several of the longer ones contain multiple parts. This means that we can either cover one of the longer Psalms in one session, or look at each of its parts over a period of two or more sessions. One Psalm that will take many weeks to look at is Psalm 119, which has over 170 verses! Though they cover a similar theme, they are very diverse in how they express it.

To be honest, it is very easy to look at Psalms and not really think about what they mean. They are very poetic and have wonderful (though sometimes scary) imagery. But, do we really think about them, or do we just quickly read through them? What about our hymns of today? When we sing them, do we really think much about what the words mean? Did you know, Psalms were often chanted during a Jewish worship service, playing a similar role as our hymns. For me, this is yet another reason to look at them in depth.

Something that I am hoping to do, is to post some of the things that we are looking at with the Psalms. Now, there is no guarantee that I will be able to do so every week. Some weeks are more challenging than others. And, I am sure that each of you out there know that. But, not only am I wanting to post things that I discovered, but I also hope to share some of the observations that others share in the class.

As I have talked about before in prior blog entries, each of us is on a journey. What God does with me in my journey will be very different than someone else. Each of us have our own particular joys, sorrows, struggles, expectations, etc. It is my hope, though, that the things that we discuss and learn about the Psalms will be a blessing onto at least some of you each week. That’s not to say that I won’t blog about other things that I experience. As time and life allow it, I want to do so. But, one step at a time. Ready to start a journey together through the Psalms?

Never Stop Learning

I have to admit, I love watching movies and documentaries on Netflix. Depending on my mood, I will watching anything from a foreign suspense or foreign action movie to a documentary on the Middle East, to documentaries on different types of animals. And, of course, I will watch various cartoons with my kids.

I am the kind of person who loves to learn new things. Whether it is reading a book, watching a movie based on actual events, reading articles about something on the Internet, etc., I seek to learn more about the world that I live in. And, as I learn more, I seek to pass it on to others.

I have found some fascinating programs on Netflix over the last few years to learn more about the world in which we live. In the last year, I have watched several documentaries on ancient Egypt and WWII Europe, just to name a couple. Each of these programs have brought to me different pieces to the puzzles of "what really happened" at that time. Some of the 'pieces' were familiar, some not so much. And there were some that I seriously questioned as to whether they were true or not. But, they were still an interesting piece to examine.

I can't remember if I have share this in a previous blog or not. But, my ancestors on my biological mother's side were ethnic Germans who had originally emigrated to what was Southern Russia (now the Ukraine) in the 1700-1800's. This mass migration of (mostly Polish and Germans) was initiated under Catherine the Great (One map can be found here, and my ancestors came from the Odessa region), but was ended during the 're-Russification' during the late 1800's. (Another brief article, in English, can be found here and another one can be found here.) This particular documentary was called 'Empire of the Tzars' and done in three parts. I was a little disappointed in the fact that there was not more mentioned about Czarina Catherine the Great inviting Germans to settle in southern Russia. But, at least it was mentioned, though in passing. The series did give me a better understanding as to all of the issues going on at the time.

Growing up, I was an avid reader. Though I would often prefer fiction action/adventure or Sci-Fi, I would also spend lots of time reading encyclopedias and various books to learn more about things. These easily ranged from biology, ancient history, information on various religious, to the supernatural, etc. Because of the different things that I learned over the years, my friends would jokingly saw that "I had memorized the who encyclopedia!" While that wasn't quite the fact, the broad knowledge that I had, people would often come to me with questions. Yes, I considered all of that a compliment.

Thankfully, I have not lost that love for learning. In the last few years, I have extended my interest from theology, ancient history, WW II era, etc., to also include genealogy. Although I am interested in both sides of my biological family, so far I have focused most on my biological mother's side. Unfortunately, though, I have not had much time this past year in order to work on this. Working long hours at the prison, having work on the side for the Guard, and taking care of a family definitely does eat up a lot of my time. Oh, well, as some things settle down, I hope to do some more.

I encourage each of you out there to develop and nurture a love for learning. It helps you to grow as a person. Even if it's something that you don't agree with, learning more from another person's perspective can help you in many ways. And, the more you learn about other beliefs and histories, the better you can understand your person beliefs and experiences. The more you learn, the healthier you will keep your brain.

Some Holiday Family Fun

Yesterday my family and I went to see the Nutcracker at the University of Lincoln Lied Center. For a Christmas gift, we bought tickets for my parents so that they could join us for the experience. It was a really wonderful experience that all of us were able to enjoy. My son enjoyed the first half, especially the fight between the the Nutcracker, the two soldiers and the Rat King and his minions. My daughter, who is in ballet, loved it all.

I love watching the performing arts, listening to classical music, going to an art museum, etc. Part of the reason why I enjoy such things is because of the amount of time I have invested myself in them. All through middle school and until the end of my sophomore year in high school, I played the trumpet in band. I loved playing in the orchestra/concert band and even did jazz band for a year. That was very different and a real thrill! But, I did not enjoy marching band.

Not only was I in band, but I took numerous art classes. In fact, I took at least one semester of art every year from 8th grade until I graduated from college. I have dabbled in several different medias (types of art), from ceramics to pencil, to colored pencil, to Conté Crayons, to paint ( many types), to pen and ink, etc. In fact, some of the only medias that I have not done are metal, stone, an glass blowing.

And, on top of all of this, I have been in several plays, not counting the Christmas plays that I have been in over the years. My German class (first year in College) put on a play (auf Deutsch, naturlich... in German, of course...) that my parents attended. I was a stage hand of the play "To Kill a Mockingbird" and played several 'minor roles' in the play "Mother Courage (and all of Her Children)." It was a lot of hard work and took a lot of time to practice and get things correct. But, it was all worth it in the end.

I really enjoyed the dancing, though I have to admit, I was often focusing a lot more on the music. The music was done by Nebraska Symphony Orchestra, and I simply loved it. Because of the time I spent in band, I can really appreciate all of the hard work that they put into it. To me, the music not only had exceptional tone quality, but seemed to seamlessly blend from one point to another. Even though I really did enjoy watching the performers do the ballet, I just seemed to be drawn much more to the music.

The other thing that I was really drawn to was all of the art work. I seemed to be especially intrigued by the creation of the 'palace' background during the second scene. They did a stupendous job with all of the stage art work, in my opinion. However, my eyes felt especially drawn in to the background work during the 'palace scene' because of how well it has been done. Although it was clearly a scene painted onto a canvas surface, my eyes still were drawn into it. The people who created it did a very good job with their one point perspective. And, they also added some reflective/sparkly items to the backdrop, so as to give it the illusion of sparkling jewels. This detail just added to the depth and enjoyment of the ballet overall.

As I soaked up as much of the experience as I could, I was often reminded of my experiences while studying German at Centre College. Part of the uniqueness of 'the Centre Experience' is there emphasis on experiencing many different things. In fact, each year full-time students have to attend 12 convocations, which range from concerts, special movies (because of their emphasis on cross-cultural experiences), various lectures, etc. There are so many different options that this is not hard to do. I have to admit, I miss attending such things that enrich one culturally. I will take what I can get.

What was more special about this situation was that I was enjoying it with my family. Both my wife and I really enjoy going to concerts, plays, etc., as well as my parents. It's a way that we can experience other times and other cultures. At least, get a 'snap shot' through their artifacts, art, music, etc. It's something that my wife and I are trying to cultivate in our children. Since my children's interests vary quite a bit, this can sometimes be a challenge. But, it is something that we try to do, to cultivate a love for learning about other people and cultures. This can of love of learning has helped me to grow as a person, and as a Christian.

How has it helped me to grow as a Christian? Several ways. First of all, it has helped me to appreciate and the historical and cultural influences/context of when Scripture was written. Each part of the Bible was written by a specific person, addressing specific historical and cultural situations, with a given language. And, not only was each person writing to a specific audience, but each person had their own unique way of writing. Understanding all of this helps one to understand what the original message was to what kind of audience and how they would have probably received it. That, in turn, informs us how we can apply these historical and spiritual truths to our lives.

Another way all of this has enriched me is how I prayerfully try to interact with others. In learning about the history of others, I have gained a better appreciation to the importance of know an individual or a group's historical background. There are reasons why people have done different things. Many different and significant (though not always obvious) influences have led up to different actions and decisions. Understanding this has helped me on numerous occasions with guiding me with how I deal with certain people. And, it's not always easy to do. But, it is still very important.

During this Advent Season, I hope that all of you are take time to make special memories with you family and friends. It can be very challenging at times. But, the hard work will pay dividends in the future. And, if you can learn more culturally through art, music, etc., all the better. At least, that what I believe.

Foreign Memories

This morning has been spent relaxing at home. After wrestling with knee and lower back pain all week, it is a welcomed break. Got some extra rest, and then started going through some magazines that have been piling up. Since I work 12 hour shifts for fouy days straight at a prison, have a wife and two young kids, and teach a Bible Study, I ofen do not have time to just sit and read for fun. This morning is one of those exceptions.

The first magazine that I picked up was from my Alma Mater, Centre College, in Danville, Kentucky. The focus of this fall edition was on the Centre-in-Strasbourg experience. To my surprise, it started 25 years ago, in the fall of 1991. I knew that it was a fairly new program when I took part in it, but had forgotten how young it was.

I had my 'Centre-in-Strasbourg' experience during thw fall of 1993. I was a sophomore at Centre and a German major. Because Strasburg is near the French-German boarder and Kehl, Germany, is about 20 minutes by train, studying there made perfect sense. I do have a lot of mixed feelings about my experiences there. But, it was a good experience overall.

I have always loved traveling. My parents and I visited several distant cousins in Germany and Holland when I was 14. This was not their first trip, just mine. That experience as a teenager really solidified my love for traveling and experiencong other cultures.

While with the Army, I have deployed to Iraq three times and to Qatar once. That is on top of two vacations in Germany (once with my parents and once on my own) and my Strasbourg experience. Though each of those experiences had some difficult times, they were overwhelmingly good.

Because of all of these experiences and a strong desire to learn about other cultures, I have found it easier to interact with those who have a different cultural and ethnic background. This has helped me in many different ways.

It definitely has helped me in better understanding life in general. It has also given me better insight into other people's experiences and a deeper appreciation for the historical context of Scripture. As I read Scripture, I try very hard to understand what the historical context was when it was written, the important linguistical aspects of the original language, as well as the cultures of Ancient Israel, Ancient Roam, etc. All of these things give a much fuller picture of what the original author of the passage was trying to tell the original audience. This, in turn, helps us to better understand the applications for us today.

When we watch the news or meet someone from another country, trying to understand at least some of their culture, history, and how they view things (their ethnical, cultural and religious values) can aid us in seeing a more whole person or event. This understanding does not mean you necessarily agree with them, or even like how they act. But, it means you are taking the time to understand who they are and how they see the world around them.

When we take the time to better understand how others perceive their world, this can help you to better understand your own experiences and how they have shaped you. I have found this to be true on many occasions. In studying German and learning the basics of French, Spanish, biblical Hebrew and Greek, and some Arabic, I have a great appreciation and respect for those who try to learn English. And, I have slowly gleaned the benefits of studying a foreign language, especially with getting a better understanding of my own mother language and how language can influence thought.

In life, we experience many different things. How I experience something may not be how someone else experiences it. If I at least try to understand how others have experienced things, I may earn the respect of them to try to understand my perspective.

During this Advent Season, let us seek to learn and grow. Part of this will include being stretched by 'foreign experiences' be it through travel to another place for the first time, or meeting someone different than ourselves. Are we going to open oursleves up for them?

Changes

Well, the first day of fall was last Thursday, September 22, 2016. It wasn't until a few days later that the weather really started feeling like fall, though. For me, fall and spring and the most enjoyable times of the year. Everything in nature is changing, the weather is more mild, and seasonal activities are drawing to a close or just starting.

I am not sure which I enjoy more, spring or fall. Both bring about all sorts of awesome changes. Animals start migrating, leaves either change color due to dying off or buds are starting to appear, etc. I especially love the cooler weather. We can often leave the windows open all day long and the house stays cool. Little to no need for using the AC or furnace. At an extra layer of clothing like a long sleeved shirt, a sweater or light jacket, and you can walk around outside very comfortably.

We all experience things in life differently. We all have our different perspectives and experiences that color how we perceive the world around us. We all appreciate different things about nature, other people, animals, even the world around us. Because of these rich differences, some will enjoy one thing while others will enjoy something else.
While some people focus on cleaning out their house during the spring, I am doing some of that this fall. Going through piles and piles of boxes, getting rid of things that are no longer wanted or needed. It can be a real challenge sometimes, especially if someone doesn’t like change.

But yet, change is unavoidable. It will happen. Throughout life, our bodies change. We change from babies, to toddlers, to children, to teens, to adulthood, etc. Our bodies go through stages of becoming stronger and then slowly growing weaker due to injury, illness, or even old age. Change can come gradually, throughout a lifetime, or suddenly because of the birth of a child, a change in employment, or a sudden illness or injury.

Just as the seasons will change, so will our lives. Relationships will come and go. We will get new jobs, get promoted, laid off, or something else. In fact, favorite hobbies and genre of music can change greatly over time. We will never know until that change comes.

Though change will come, one thing will always stay the same. God’s holiness and God’s love for us. God will always be a holy and righteous God, punishing evil and sin, and seeking justice for those who are oppressed. And, God will always be loving and compassionate, willing to forgive those who repent.

Though there will always be change in our lives, is it not wonderful that God never changes?! I encourage each of you, as you rake the leaves, dig out the long sleeved clothes, find your sweaters, brew your hot apple cider and/or coco, etc., take time to reflect on this. Even if fall might not be your favorite season, do take some time to admire how God is painting a different scene around you. Take time to breath in all of the new smells, feel the changes of weather, etc. Also reflect on how God has brought you from where you used to be, to where you are now. Even if you are facing many difficult, seemingly overwhelming challenges, God does not change. What He has brought you through so far, He will continue to bring you through. The changes and victories may be small, even unknowable right now. Just like the slow, subtle changes in the weather, the length of day, etc. But, over time, may God open your eyes to all that He has done, and still will do.

A Lifelong Journey

Many years ago, I was in seminary and working on becoming ordained with the Presbyterian Church (USA). One of the many requirements that I had to fulfill was attend a multiple day workshop with several career counselors. If I remember correctly, it took place during a weekend, not that it matters too much for this story.

I was not the only one participating in this career counseling session. There were at least three other people involved. Being that it took place almost 20 years ago, I can't remember a lot of the details. If memory serves me correctly, there was at least one 'group counseling session,' an individual counseling session, a battery of questionnaires, and quite a few group discussions. I believe that one of the questionnaires was on the Gifts of the Spirit and another one was the Meyers Briggs personality test. I know that one of the results of that test was being introverted. At this time, I cannot remember what the other three letters were of my 'type.'

During one of the discussions, we had to draw a picture of how we viewed our currently relationship with God. Each of us had a large piece of paper (something along the line of 24 inches by 36 inches, maybe a little smaller) to draw on. Of course, each of us drew something different. That's to be expected.

Not only did we have to draw the pictures, but we had to explain what it meant. And, I was more than willing to do so. The woods symbolized a brief period in my life where I faced a lot of challenges. Part of which was the room situation that I had endured several years prior with two of my four roommates. It was a very difficult time for me, but one I will discuss in another blog entry. Suffice to say, the pain and difficulties I had experience in Strasbourg, France, helped to facilitate my turning to Christ the following January.

Although I did not how to exactly explain it, I drew me by myself because that is how I often was. Not that because I felt I didn't need others. On the contrary, I do. However, being more introverted, I do a lot of things alone in order to be able to better enjoy being with others. I also tried to explain that though I was standing by myself at the top of the wooded hill, I wasn't completely alone. The picture was through the eyes of someone else.

Being at the top of a hill and the foreground being out of sight symbolized the fact that I didn't know what all the future held. Though I could see a little ways in front of me, I could not see all where the path would lead. There were other hills, valleys, streams, etc., in front of me that I was catching glimpses of. They had been hidden form me until I had reached that hill top. But, the person behind me still had the perspective that I just had. The one of not knowing what the future would hold. To myself and the person behind me, things are being revealed very slowly, by bits and pieces.

You are probably wondering why I would draw something like that. Well, a lot of it is because of the things that I experienced while growing up. The vacations that we took as a family and my love for walking, exploring new places, learning new things, etc., were all influential with developing this 'life is a journey' outlook.

I grew up a preacher's kid, the son of a Presbyterian (USA) minister. Each and every summer we would go on vacation and visit different places. Most summer vacations included visiting relatives, but not always. It was almost always by car, when traveling from place to place. Like a typical kid, I would sometimes get bored and ask, “Are we there yet?!” But, a lot of the times, my parents and I would play games to help make it seem that time was going by faster.

Having traveled all over the United States, I developed a real love for seeing different sights and learning about different places. I remember one especially challenging summer vacation when I was 10 years old. My parents, my Dad's cousin and his godson, and myself hiked the Grand Canyon. We went down the south rim and up the north rim. It was physically very demanding for all of us. I remember being very tired every day, but loving all of the sights, smells, experiences.

All of these many experiences, even traveling to Europe three times, have helped me to develop the mindset of life being a journey. It starts when we are born and ends when we die. The sights that we see, the people that we meet, and the choices that we make all influence what our journey will be like and how it will end. Sometimes things happen along our journey of life that are unexpected, painful and not of our choosing. Even though such difficulties are hard to accept, it is a part of life. We can make one wonderful choice after another and enjoy the beauty that God has created around us. But, because of sin in the world, things can go wrong and we suddenly experience pain, sadness, anger, bitterness, even death. That is, unfortunately, a part of life as a whole.

But, there is great beauty, if we take time to enjoy it. Although I usually have a quick pace, I have learned the importance of stopping from time-to-time, and just taking in my surroundings. Taking them in, savoring them, experiencing all that is around me. Being more introverted than extroverted, I usually have the preference of doing things on my own. That way I can emotionally and mentally recharge while I am enjoying life around me. But, just like everyone else, I need to love and be loved. I need to spend time with others so that I grow as a person and fully enjoy all that is around us. No person is an island. We cannot permanently separate ourselves from others. We all need time alone, those some need more than others. We all need loved ones in our lives to share in this journey.

I don't know if my parents understood that I was an introvert back then, or what that meant for me. I do know that they did allow me the space that I needed most of the time, often without question. This enabled me to ponder things, organize my thoughts, sort things out, so that I could better understand what I was thinking and feeling. And again, all of this walking and think, mental sorting, helped to develop my sense of life being a journey. One that I sought to enjoy as much as possible.

One of the things that bring me great satisfaction is walking with a person who is struggling with something. Although I am sure that this has happened a lot over the years, it became more apparent to me while I was in college. I gave my life to Christ in January of 1994. During the following fall, I had several 'odd' experiences. While walking to and from different classes, someone would start walking with me. Not only would they walk with me, they would start sharing something that was bothering them. I was stunned that this was happening to me. During each conversation, I would listen and share my observations, make suggestions, or whatever else I felt led to do. This happened several times over a period of two weeks. And, as time went by, I noticed how much satisfaction I got out of helping others. Even if I only listened to they share their burdens, I felt good about it. It was through these experiences that I felt God calling me to attend seminary.

As my journey continued over the years, I found myself 'journeying' with others. Sometimes it would be for a brief period of time. Other times it would be multiple conversations. No matter how long the 'shared journey' goes, I almost always feel a deep sense of satisfaction that I had helped someone, even in a small way. Even today, I find myself willingly walking '100 miles' with someone who has a burden that they need to share. When it comes to arguments and debates, I reach my limit very, very quickly. But, for someone who has a genuine need, I can walk a long ways with them.

I know that God gives different Spiritual Gifts to different people. To some God enables them to have deep insights and lots of knowledge. To others, He gives a Gift of prophecy (more 'forth-telling' of God's Word than 'fore-telling'). Still others receive a Gift of leadership. At least one of the Spiritual Gifts that God has given me is pastoring. That is, to mentor, protect, nurture, help, etc. Like what a shepherd does with his/her flock. It is something that I do naturally due to my personality.

Quite a glimpse into who I am, huh? And to be honest, this is just a small bit of me. Over the decades, God has been enabling me to discover new things about myself, new things about others, and new things about Him. It has been an incredible, ‘journey of discovery.’ Not everything I have learned has been pleasant. But, it has all been important for one reason or another.

Have you ever taken time to examine your faith walk and what you have learned over the years? Even if you have been a Follower of Christ for a few months or just a year or so, you have had a faith journey. I encourage you to think about it. It may be quite the eye opener!

Asking The Right Questions

This morning after church, we had a congregational meeting to discuss some important future plans. Two years ago last January, our church burned down. There was, praise God, no loss of life. Just the loss of the church. Almost from the start, some people were already talking about how soon we could start rebuilding.

At this time, some plans have been drawn up and a lot of money has been set aside for building the new church. It isnot fully funded yet. But we have some moeny set aside already. We have a good start; but, I am concerned that our focus is not where it should be. My greatest concern is that there is too much of a focus on the physical building, a physical church, but not much thought on being the church to our community.

What do I mean by "being the church?" Much, actually. Being a Christian is more than just making verbal confessions, carrying a Bible, with you all of the time, more than just memorizing Scripture, and attending worship worship at a church. It is much more than that. It is, first and foremost, a personal relationship with God throughthe life, death, and resurrection of Christ Jesus. But, it doesn't end there. Not by a long shot.

Being a Christian means being a Follower of Christ. It means living a life of obedience to not just how God wants us to live morally, but also with how He wants us to serve Him and others. I think that my current life is an excellent example.

As many of you might already know, I work at a State prison here in Nebraska as Custody Staff. It is not a job that I actively sought out. In fact, when I have been job hunting, I have sought out a ministry position. Working in a church or a Christian organization is my heart's desire. I attended seminary ad got a Master's of Divinity (2000 at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary) because that is where I felt God was calling me. But yet, I am working someplace totally different.

Not just that, but personality wise I am in a very challenging place. As an INFJ, I excell in theological study, teaching, and ministering to people. But yet, God is choosing to use me in a place very much outside of what come to me naturally. The last few weeks have been even more vividly so. Over the last year, as I have learned more about the personality that God has given me, I have begun to better understand why I have always been sensitive to my emotional surroundings. Keeping that in mind, it might come to a shock to you that God has been keeping meposted in visiting. My job in visiting, as Custody Staff, is to enforce rules with Inmates and the visitors.  On top of all that, during the visiting periods are a huge, volital mix of emotions. Just a few of them are anger over bad d3cisions, grief over damaged and destroyed relationships, grief over shattered dreams, anger over not being in contol of one's life, etc. The more people who are together, the greater the intensity of these feelings. Yesterday, I had three big groups to deal with, with one being an almost to compacity of the large room. By the end of the day, I felt like I was a 110 volt motor that had been plugged into a 220 volt outlet. Being "very exhausted"was a gross understatement. One might logically ask, why would a loving God put someone like me in an environment that was so draining?! I wrestle with that a lot.

God has given me a few glimpses here and there. Over the 7+ years that I havemworked at this particular prison, God hasnused me to greatimpact many lives there. Both staff and inmates. It doesn't always appear like I do. But, I doget glimpses at times. For example, as I was getting ready do do my searches on a group of Inmates before their visiting session, they were already grumbling about how long it would take. Then one Inmate said, "Hey, I know Underwood... He's cool..." That is all he said. Might not seem like much, but I felt a large amount of the building anger and frustration drop. They all chose to cooperate and, when another staff member arrived to help, things ran very smoothly.

Why did I share this story? Over the last 7+ years, I have had to live in utter dependence to God for strength and with guidance for doing my job. A lot that I do as Custody Staff does not come naturally as an INFJ. It has been a huge struggle on many ocassions. But, from time-to-time, God gives me glimpses of how He has touched lives through me. But, tnis is only because I prayerfylly choose to be God's instrument.

For us as a church, I see us at a crossroads. Will we focus on our physical needs of having our own church building now,; or, will we prayerfully seek to learn how to be The Church to our community? One is a road of easy decisions. One is a road of very difficult introspection and decisions. And, the worst th8ng of all, living uncomforably.

I do not know why God has me where I am at. Working at the prison has been a growing experience, but also a painful one. It is definitely not what I want and would have chose on my own. But, my desire to be obedient to God has beenthe reason why I have stayed so far. And, I believe that we, as a local church, is facing a similar kind of decision. We greatly need God's help in making the right decisions for doing His will. It is a great strugglento be obedient as an individual. The more people who gather to seek His Will, the more conflict and confusion can arise. Especially if each is seeking what makes them, as an individual, feel safe. But, since when has God called us to do things that make us feel safe? I think that Abraham, Moses, Dietrich Bohnhoffer, Frederich Douglas, Maartin Luther, Martin Luther King, Jr., etc., would argue that our comfort is not God's greatest concern.it is our obedience. Let us prayerfully contemplate that.

Reflections on 16 October 2015

I know that it has been a while since I posted an entry here. Things have been very busy for me for the last week or so. But, since I have some down time, I thought that I would write some reflections. And, just so you know, I am writing this on my phone. So, if things seem oddly organized or grammar is poor, that is probably why.

One of my biggest challenges is getting the right balance of personal time for reflecting and recharging, and still getting the socializing that I need. Throw in the responsibilities of being a supervisor and you have quite a balanxing act. There are days where I feel recharged enough that I can face the challengea of life. Other times I feel so drained that anything social is a challenge. And, there are times where I don't have the luxury of recharging, I just have to "suck it up and drive on." So challenging!

Spiritual warfare ia very real. The closer one walks with God and the more you strive to be obedient to Him, the more you should expect spiritual attacks. I have been walking with Christ since January of 1994. You would think that I would not easily get "spiritually ambushed." But, there arw times that I do. But, even when that does happen, my response is typically to return to even more feaverent of prayer.

In the last few weeks, I have been engaged in some very intense spiritual warfare. Between praying for my Chain of Command, the people who persecute the Body of Christ (especially nations that so ao harahly), my family, and several people who arw facing great difficulties, I have received a great deal of "feedback." And not the positive kind.

In fact, a few weeks ago, I couldn't sleep so I did some intense praying. Not too long after I started, I started feel a real heaviness on me. The more I prayed, the worse it got. It got so bad that I started to shake. So, I asked other prayer warriors to pray for me. It seemed that I had really stirred the hornets' nest. And, it worked. Soon after that, I was able to fall back to sleep.

Been enjoying the Bible Study I and another NCO have been doing. I find it so fascinating that the Gospel of John has such simple language, but yet is so deep in the theology! I have joked on several ocassions that I could spend two or maybe even three week on each chapter! They arw just that rich in theology! The dialogue during the studies have been very exciting and informative. I've pointed out a lot of things that others had not noticed before, and others have shared insights that I had not noticed. Such an awesome experience!

I found a very helpful website called "introvertdear.com." I found it about 3 weeks ago and have been reading it regularly ever since. I had ways wondered qhy I reacted to somethings like I have, or why I would feel so utterly drained, even on a good day, when helping others. Things are making more sense now. God hasmade each of us unique. But, certain personalities are more common than others. And, praise God, I have found several INFJ groups on Facebook. It has been so encouraging, talking with others who have had similar experiences.

Life is very challenging. I definitely have been experiencing a lot of stretching in my life. It is both draining and exciting at the same time. I am definitely not the same person I was just a year ago. But, then again, in a year, or even in just a few months, I will be different than I am now. All through out life one should strive to continue to learn and grow as a person. And, as a Christian, one should continously strive to deepen one's walk with Christ.

One other thought before I close this entry. We must always remember that we do not always know what God is doing in our lives and in the lives of those around us. Sometimes God allows us to see glimpses of what He is doing. But, not always. We must walk in faith the God will honor what we do in faith and bring about His perfect will. Just like it takes months or even yeara for a plant to grow, mature, and evwn bare fruit, so it is in our lives. We must patiently wait for Gid to do His will. And, waiting can be so very hard, too. May God help us to do so.

Cultural and Respect

References:
- Acts 17:16-34 NAS
- 1 Corinthians 9:16-27 NAS
- Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
- Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
- The Kingdom (2007)

I love a good, thought provoking movie, as well as a good action movie or a good thriller. For me, the movie has to have depth. I want to be touched by the message of the movie, not just something meaningless to watch. Yes, I am a bit picky about what movies I watch. Each of us has our own preferences. A movie that I have just recently added to my “very much enjoy list” is “Lawrence of Arabia.” This movie has a similar theme to other two movies that I really enjoy, “Kingdom of Heaven” and “The Kingdom.” But, I will get to that in a few minutes.

In the passage from Acts, we see Paul and Silas were traveling together on Paul's second missionary trip (Acts 15:36-41) and were currently in Athens, Greece. Paul sees all sorts of idols, including any empty pedestal, and uses them as a springboard for preaching to the local populace in a manner that they could understand. In the 1 Corinthians passage referenced above, we see Paul's strategy a little more in depth. He seeks to understand the culture that he is working in, and then uses that to inform how he teaches them about Christ. He doesn't change the Message of the Gospel, just how he explains it and how he lives amongst them. He does that so that they can understand who Christ Jesus is.

You see, each of us view life through the lens of our unique blend of culture, heritage, and experiences. All of this informs us how to view life. It's the framework that we use in order to understand the world around us. Not only does each country have its own unique culture, but communities within the same country have different forms of culture. Although a whole nation may share some similar cultural features, different areas within the same country will differ somewhat. Local customs, dialects, and unique histories vary greatly from place to place.

Besides the United States, I have experienced the local cultures of Europe and some parts of Iraq. Through visiting distant relatives in Europe and spending a semester in Strasbourg, France, I have a lot of first hand experience with European cultures. I have been able to see local history, experienced local traditions, and visited with many different people. This personal experience, combined with basic knowledge of the German language and history, has opened many doors for me. Whether traveling on a train, sitting in a restaurant, or some other environment, I have been blessed with some fascinating conversations with German people. There have been awkward times where neither of us had enough vocabulary to express all that we wanted to say. But yet, we strove to understand and to be understood.

My experience with the Iraqi culture is a bit more limited. But, especially during my third deployment in 2010-11, I did get to interact with some of the business, government and military leaders in Baghdad. That was because of my job with creating vehicle security passes for vehicles within the International Zone. Not only did I get to interact with some of the Iraqi citizens, but I also got to interact with many of the members of the different embassies. Although I had many positive experiences working with each of them, one situation in particular really stands out with me.

One of the PSD (Personal Security Detail) teams that I worked with was from the Korean Embassy. While in high school, college, and in seminary, I have gotten to know many people from different Asian countries. Because of these experiences, both good and bad, I had fairly good idea of what I should do. When they came to the door, I stood up, walked towards them, and then bowed to them. I acknowledged them according to their culture. They hesitated a moment, then returned the bow. We then got down to business. For whatever reason, they had to leave and return. When they came back a few days later, they literately stood at the door and politely told the OIC (Officer in Charge) that they would like to talk with me. They then patiently waited for me to be ready. Because of the way I had shown them respect, they went out of their way to show me respect.

Over the years, I have talked with many people from different countries while they were either visiting or studying in the United States. While many people do try to show respect to them, it is unfortunate that others within the US do not. This happens while Americans have traveled to different countries to visit and while foreigners have visited the US. Sometimes it's because someone just does not have any experience with other cultures and doesn't understand the differences. There are so many different cultures out there that it would be impossible to understand them all. And most foreigners visiting or studying here understand that. But, there is a big difference between not understanding because of no experience, and not even trying.

Each of the three movies have a common theme. Major world events caused two different cultures to have to work together. In each of the movies, each side had their cultural stereotypes of the other. These stereotypes caused a lot of friction and frustration initially. But, during the movie, people on both sides made the attempt to try and understand the others' perspective, while seeking to more clearly explaining their own. It took time, patience, and a lot of work. But, by the end of the movie, their work paved the way for a lot of mutual respect and learning. In working together, they were able to accomplish a lot of awesome things. Something they could not have accomplished separately.

There have been many times where, in trying to interact with someone of another culture, I 'put my foot into my mouth.' I have made mistakes. I have also striven to learn from those mistakes so that I can better interact with people from a different culture. It is not easy. What is normal in some cultures can be offensive to others. These are easy to find. However, will we strive to set aside the things that we find distasteful and annoying and seek common ground? That is something each and every one of us will have to decide when the time comes. For those of us who follow Christ, we are His ambassadors to this world. How shall we live this out?

Sensing God Speaking

References:
- 1 Kings 19:9-13 NAS

I don't know about any of you out there, but growing up I was teased quite a bit. Because I was introverted, have always had a very vivid imagination, didn't care to hang out with big groups of people, and wasn't all that interested in sports, many kids made fun of me. They could not understand why I did not want to be like them. Although it sometimes hurt a lot, I always felt that I needed to be true to who I was, even if I didn't fully understand it.

One of the benefits of being an INFJ is the 'internal compass' that I possess. Since I more often make decisions on 'what feels right' instead of 'facts,' this 'internal compass' features prominently in my decision making process. That is not to say that I don't consider facts, I definitely do. But, my instincts, or the 'internal compass,' is what I used to make a final decision. Usually the facts and my instincts agree. Sometimes, though, they don't.

After I gave my life to Christ in 1994, I slowly realized that God would use my instincts to direct me to do things. It was His way of speaking to me. Almost like a voice at times. Not a voice I could hear, but a 'voice I could just feel.' Sometimes it was direction to speak with someone, sometimes it would be direction to address something in a class, other times it was “just be quiet for now...” Whether I understood it or not, I strove to respond as I felt God directing me.

This 'listening to my instincts' is not an easy thing to do. Especially when one typically 'feels' his environment as he or she is looking at it. It is an on going challenge to discern what I actually feel, what I am gathering from my environment, as well as what I am seeing. On top of that, what people say and/or do doesn't always match up with what I am perceiving. This is particularly frustrating. Since what I am perceiving isn't something that can be measured, many people blow it off. This can make any sensing person wondering if they are perceiving things right.

Because of challenges in seminary and how things are typically done in the military, I started relying on my intuition less and less. Instead I focused more and more on just my other senses, like sight, touch, hearing, etc. For years I did this and did okay. Since I trusted my 'sixth sense' less and less, I became less and less aware of it. However, one thing that I could not turn off was the fact that I could sense how people were feeling. Although I might be ignoring these cues, I still could feel it.

During this time, I couldn't understand why some days would leave me so extremely exhausted. I would work with someone who was extremely upset or frustrated, and then I would feel that way for hours afterward. There were times I was having a really good day, but then I would either have to work with someone who was really upset about something, or just be near him or her for a while. Not always, but many times, I would start feeling that way and just couldn't understand it.

Eventually I left Active Duty and sought a career in the civilian world. Although I did not want to work for the Nebraska Department of Corrections, I eventually did apply and was subsequently hired. It was a difficult job for me, but one I could do. Through out this time, I would prayerfully ask God to help me “walk by the Spirit.” That is, to listen carefully to what God was speaking to my heart/spirit, and then to respond as He directed me. What I didn't realize then, but am better understanding now, is that since I had been pushing aside my instincts, I was making it more difficult to sense what God wanted to tell me.

Over the years, there were times where I paid more attention to God's nudges via my instincts. But, it was more often that I didn't. Since both Corrections and Military Law Enforcement stress facts, that is what I focused on. And I continued to have stressful days that should have been good. But yet, I would come home from work either angry or depressed for no reason that I could think of. Or, I would just feel so emotionally exhausted that I had to rest for hours.

One afternoon, maybe two years ago now, I was driving to work and spending some time in focused prayer. I had learned many years before that I really needed to have this quality time with God to physically, emotionally and spiritually prepare myself for the day ahead. During this particular day, I found myself praying to God, “help me feel Your leading, help me listen to my instincts.” Maybe not the exact working, but that is essentially what I prayed. And, I was a bit surprised by that prayer. But, I decided to take a leap of faith and try to listen to my instincts.

What I experienced over the next several weeks as I prayerfully did this is hard to explain. I know it wasn't all at once. But, over time, I started getting impressions of things around me that may or may not match what I was seeing or hearing. But, as I walked in faith, I slowly started better perceiving things around me. Honestly, it is hard to describe it. I will be walking and feel the sense that I need to go to a certain area. Or, I will be watching what is going on around me and all of a sudden my hearing will focus on what someone a ways away is saying. There are times where I will be talking with an inmate or a staff member and just 'know' whether or not they are being honest with me. This is even if they are biting back sarcasm or feeling hurt. I still don't quite know how or why I know, I just due.

Some days, I sense more of what I should write. Sometimes it is what I should say to a person. Or, I will see a person and quickly discern what mood they are in. Other times I will be looking for someone and instinctively know where to go. Other times, I won't sense much at all. Some days I will sense how people are feeling around me, other times I will feel next to nothing. I really don't understand why that is. Perhaps it's God's way of protecting me from being overwhelmed? Maybe my senses know when they need to be active? I really don't know.

About a week ago, I started researching my personality type. As I did, things started to better make sense. Now I better understand why other peoples' emotions can affect me so much. Or, that I can sense things about my environment is something to expect for my personality. I am learning that it is a rare kind of gift and that I need to treasure it. I know that God has used it to impact the lives of many people around me. Even if it's just knowing 'what to pray for.' It is a strange gift, one that sometimes doesn't make much sense. But yet, I am striving to walk in faith with God, trusting that He will help me learn how to use it better and for His glory.

Communion and Fellowship

When you hear 'Communion' or 'fellowship,' what kind of images come to your mind? What do these works mean to you? What kind of memories do they evoke? Today, not only did we have Communion, or the Lord's Supper, during church this morning, but I sat with two of the Chaplains and a Chaplain's Assistant during lunch to talk about various things. While we were talking, I felt God stirring me a bit about how we were communing with each other, after partaking of Communion during worship. Sound a little odd or confusing? Here are some of my thoughts on all of this.

The word 'communion' is defined as follows (from Dictionary.com):

1. (often initial capital letter). Also called Holy Communion. Ecclesiastical.
a) the act of receiving the Eucharistic elements.
b) the elements of the Eucharist.
c) the celebration of the Eucharist.
d) the antiphon sung at a Eucharistic service.
2. a group of persons having a common religious faith; a religious denomination: Anglican communion.
3. association; fellowship.
4. interchange or sharing of thoughts or emotions; intimate communication: communion with nature.
5. the act of sharing, or holding in common; participation.
6. the state of things so held.

Based on the above definitions, communion can mean both the Lord's Supper or Eucharist, as well as the act of being together and sharing things with each other. When you think about it, we are celebrate the Lord's Supper (aka Communion or the Eucharist), we are not just remembering all that Christ has done for us. Like a prayer, we are fellowshiping with Him, as we remember His sacrifice while we were still in rebellion against Him. We are also opening ourselves up to Him on an emotional and spiritual level.

One Scripture verse that means a lot to me is Revelation 3:20. “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.“ (Revelation 3:20 NASB). Though God is initiating the relationship, we have to respond. Now, I am not going to get into the doctrinal differences between Election, Freewill, etc. That is for another post. What is important here is two things. One, Jesus comes to us, to where we are, and initiates a relationship (knocking on the door of our hearts, as many interpret to mean). Jesus, who is literately “God in the flesh,” (John 1:14) comes down to our level. The Creator comes down to be with his creation. Even though His creation is in rebellion against Him, He still comes down to us! And, instead of barging in, He lets us know that He is there, and then waits.

The other thing that stands out to me is the '...will dine with him, and he with Me.' Lets think about that for a moment. I do not know about you, but that brings to me many wonderful memories. Not just of church potlucks, but of family dinners, holiday get together, or just having coffee with a friend. It is an image of two or more people sitting down and sharing of joys, concerns, current events, or even just enjoying each other's company without talking a very much. Especially when one person is hurting, the simple presence of someone else to share that time, can be very comforting. In our high tech world, we sometimes get some wrapped up with keeping up with Facebook, Twitter, or what ever, that we forget to spend time face-to-face with those we car about.

As a husband and a father, I knew how challenging it can be to turn the TV off and sit at the dinner table. That way we can talk with each other while we eat. It is so very easy for us to turn on the news or a favorite TV show on cable or Netflix while we eat. It is much easier to allow ourselves to be entertained while we eat instead of sharing with each other our thoughts and feelings while we share our food.

In Acts 2:42-47, we see something incredible. We see the Disciples (soon to be called the Apostles), gathering together with other fellow believers, as well as new believers, and sharing meals and prayer time together. Not just that, those that had property and other wealth were selling it so that all could have something together. Now, I do not believe that we have to go to this extreme in order to have fellowship with God and with each other. But, it is an incredible example. Not just for us, but back then in the early church, too. God used this communal love and sacrifice to get the attention of others.

That brings me to this afternoon. After the Protestant service, I sat down to eat lunch with two of the Chaplains and one of their Chaplain's Assistants. We talked about quite a few things, most of which had to do with either our theological backgrounds, what we thought about the worship service that morning, what our hopes for concerning the Bible Studies that were coming up starting next month, etc. After worshiping God together and celebrating the Eucharist, that flowed into our conversation while we ate. Not only did we get physical nourishment through the food, but we also continued to gain spiritual nourishment as we reflected on our shared Christian faith. Though we have different theological and denomination backgrounds, that pales in comparison to our shared love for and faith in Christ as Lord and Savior. I walked away from lunch feeling very full. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.

Is that not how it should be? Should we not celebrate with joy God's grace for our lives? Should we not celebrate our brotherly love for each other? Should we not take joy in encouraging each other, to learn from each other? As a popular hymn goes, “They Will Know we are Christians by our Love.” Should we not have love for each other and mutually encourage each other? That doesn't mean we have to 100% agree with each other. But, because of our love for each other, we can learn from our differences and focus on what we do have in common.

Whether we are more introverted or extrovert (psychological concept concerning how a person processes information (internally vs. externally) and how they recharge emotionally (alone vs. with people)), we all need time with others. God created us to need companionship with others. That is, to fellowship, to develop a deep and meaningful relationship with others. Note, I did not say “romantic or sexual.” A friendship can be deep and meaningful without being romantic. Think of the relationship that two best friends, between a parent and child, etc., can have? They share personal ideas, hopes, fears, with each other, and learn from each other. As they share together and do things together, they grow closer emotionally and spiritually. This is the kind of thing that all of us Christians need to strive to do. Although we will not always agree, we still need to purposely do this. Although there will always be people in our community, even in our churches, whose personalities annoy us, we can still learn from each other.

I encourage each of you to take time each week, and spend quality fellowship time with others. It can be just a few minutes, or it can be an afternoon. It can be a quick but meaningful chat at the coffee pot, it can be a walk from one meeting to another, or it could be a lunch or dinner conversation. Seek to be available to God to be a blessing to others in this way. To share your love for God by being an active presence in their life. Let yourself be open with them and listen to their openness with you. Not only will you be a blessing to them, but they will also be a blessing to you.