A Quick Update

Hello, Everyone!

I know that it has been quite a while since I have made a post of any kind here.  Part of it has been the challenges with balancing work and family life, and part of it has been the fact that I have felt little inspiration with what to write.  

Although work at the prison has often been frustrating, there have been some good days.  I have been an acting Case Worker on several different galleries at least twelve times since October 31th.  Although it has been challenging at times, it has also been very rewarding for me.  Working as an acting Case Worker has come a lot more naturally for me, and has felt a lot less emotionally and spiritually draining to me.  Instead of almost always coming home tired, exhausted, and even angry because of work, I have come home tired by at least content.

Part of the reason why I have volunteered to be an acting Case Worker is for a change of pace, but also to help me with applying for Case Manager.  For those who might not be familiar with what a Case Manager does within a prison, so I will try to quickly explain it.  A Case Manager deals with an Inmate's programming, classification, with where they can live, with conducting Unit Disciplinary hearings (for minor rule breakage), etc.  

Several months ago, I applied for Case Manager for the prison that I work at, and at another one.  The feedback that I received from four different people, two at each institution amounted to:  "Your answers were exactly what we were looking for," "You did a very good interview," and "Please, do apply again when the job re-opens in the future."  In one case, I missed the point cutoff by only two points.  The significant part for me was the fact that I had no Unit experience at that point, only Custody Staff experience.  While there is some overlap in what we do, especially in security and safety, the actual role is a bit different.

Well, I did re-apply for this position at the same two institutions as I had a few months ago.  This time, though, I had a lot more confidence in my answers that I gave them.  Although many of the questions were the same, there were some different ones.  But, I was able to successfully answer their questions.  And, based on the feedback that I observed, I seemed to have impressed the two interview boards as much as, or even more than last time.

I should know by the end of this week for one institution and maybe at the beginning of next week for the other.  Although I have been looking at transferring to another institution, I have come to the conclusion that it would probably be better to continue working at my current place of employment.

Not only have I build a positive relationship with staff, but also a very positive rapport with the Inmates.  What’s also very interesting is that most of the Inmates that I have worked with as an acting Case Worker seem to have made a successful transition from me being in a Custody Staff role to being in a Unit Staff role.  This has really helped me with getting things done.  Because of this rapport, it would probably help to stay at my current institution.  Although some Inmates might have a different time adjusting to my new role, I think that many of them will not.

For those know me well in real life, or have followed me for quite a while, you know how much I have not liked my job as Custody Staff.  Although I can do that job very well, it is a role that brings little satisfaction to me.  And, as an INFJ, job satisfaction is extremely, extremely important.  Without significant job satisfaction, I feel miserable.  However, the impression that I have that, as a Case Manager, I would be utilizing my natural gifts and ministry training, which would lead to significant job satisfaction.  If being a Case Manager is anything like being an acting Religious Coordinator (which I did several years ago), even a bad, extremely hectic day will give me significant satisfaction.

Other news…  My daughter was officially diagnosed with having Influenza A.  My wife had a brief flare-up.  And, since I have been taking care of her for several days since she first came down with it Monday, my temperature has peaked at about 100.6 F.  So, no work for me tomorrow.  I have noticed that God has graced me with a very strong immune system.  Over the years, I have noticed that what ever bug my family gets, I will often get.  However, the time that I am actually sick is about half of long they were sick.  So, it doesn’t surprise me that my temperature spiked this afternoon.  But, I should be back to normal temperature tomorrow and back to work on Friday.  As long as our son doesn’t get sick, the bug should be out of our systems well before Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas…  We will be celebrating Christmas here in Nebraska next week.  Since my wife works as a teacher’s aide, she will have the next few weeks off.  I, on the other hand will have to work.  However, due to the days off that I have, I will be home for this Christmas.  That is something that we are really looking forward to.

With wherever you are, I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas and a blessed New Year.  I will try to write at least once more before Christmas and the New Years, but I can’t guarantee it.

In Christ,

RC

Lost in Translation

Have you ever had an experience where you tried to tell a story and someone, or maybe your whole audience, couldn’t understand why something was funny or embarrassing?  Or has someone told you a story about their childhood or travel experience that left them in stiches but left you just ‘scratching your head’ because it didn’t make much sense to you?  I’m sure that all of us have had such experiences from time-to-time.  For those of you who have traveled a lot within your own country, or especially to other countries, this is probably a familiar experience.  I know that it is to me.

This morning I had an awesome opportunity with helping to lead worship in my church.  Every year at about this time in the summer, we have Germanfest.  Because many of the people who settled here in this part of Syracuse are of German heritage, we have this festival to celebrate it.  We also have a joint worship service, too.  And it was during this joint service that I helped out.

What did I do?  I read responsive reading and the Lord’s Prayer, in German.  Of course, we had the English translation in the bulletin and on the PowerPoint.  It made for some entertaining experiences.  Instead of just jumping into the responsive reading with the German, I think I should have giving some instructions first.  It took a few moments for people to catch on, but they did. 

What was really entertaining was leading the Lord’s Prayer.  I actually gave instructions this time, that I was going to read it in German and for those in the congregation will recite it in English.  So, I read the German while they said it in English.  Well, for those who have not spoken something in a foreign language in front of people, especially while they were talking, it’s not very easy.  It is probably also the reason why I am not a professional interpreter.  That is, translating something from one language to another while people are talking. 

It got me thinking about my many experiences with languages over the years.  For those who don’t know me, I have always been fascinated by other languages and cultures.  Whether the languages and cultures are made up like the Klingons in Star Trek or the Hutts in Star Wars, I find them fascinating.  Actual languages in our world, whether modern or ancient, fascinate me as well.  Not just languages, but other cultures as well greatly interest me.

For those who do not know, I have been deployed to Iraq three different times and Qatar once.  I have also spent a significant amount of time in Europe, primarily in Germany, Holland, and the Alsace/Lorraine Valley (a region on the French/German Boarder), in the city of Strasbourg.  With each of the different experiences in each of those areas, I learned many new things about other cultures and peoples.  In fact, my favorite job that I have ever had was working in the International Zone Universal Placarding (IZUP) Office, back in 2010, creating security placards for vehicles.  These placards were needed to access the International Zone in Baghdad, Iraq, and certain areas within the IZ. 

In order to do my job, I had to interact with many different people from many different countries.  Because of my previous experiences with other cultures while in high school, collage, and in seminary, I had a lot of knowledge to draw upon in order to interact with the many different people.  For example, when the security group from one of the Asian embassies came in to have their placards renewed, I was the next available person to work with them.  Because of Asian friends that I had in the past, I knew the first thing I needed to do in order to show them respect was to bow, so I did.  This sign of respect made such an impact with this group that, when they came back on a couple of other occasions, they would always wait at the door until I was available.

Whether it is working with German, the rudimentary Spanish or Arabic that I have picked up over the years, or the biblical Greek and biblical Hebrew that I studied in seminary, I have long understood that translating things from one language to another can be challenging at times.  There are times where word or phrases translate easily.  Other times, one has to creatively interpret one idea to another.  Whether we are talking about idiomatic phrases, like ‘making a mountain out of a molehill,’ or translating prose or poetry, it can sometimes be very difficult.

Just as understanding another language can be difficult, understanding a different culture can be just as hard.  One example that I am very familiar with is the differences between American hygiene and typical Middle Eastern or African hygiene.  In most places in the Middle East and in Africa, people bathe regularly, but they do not ‘perfume’ themselves with deodorant, antiperspirant, etc.; whereas, we Americans pride ourselves on how good we smell.

It has been my experience that this ‘pride’ can be very harmful for good interpersonal and international relations.  For example, I had two friends from Africa while at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary.  Because of my prior experiences, I was annoyed by their lack of deodorant, but ‘not offended.’  This was not the case with all of my fellow students.  Many of them, believe it or not, would talk disrespectfully about them when they were not around.  This was only because they ‘smell like us.’  On several occasions, I tried to help my fellow students that, although they bathed regularly, they smelled differently only because they didn’t wear deodorant.  That wasn’t a part of their culture.  Sadly, many of my fellow students didn’t care about ‘cultural differences,’ just that ‘they stink!’ 

One evening, I was in the basement of the dorm cooking my supper.  At least one other fellow student was with me at this time.  After a few minutes, while my back was to the door to the kitchen, I noticed a familiar scent and said, “Good evening ‘Paul,’ here to make supper?”  The other student, from Africa, stopped dead in his tracks next to me and said, “Ray, how did you know it was me?”  I just responded, “Lucky guess?”  In reality, over time, I realized that each of the two men had individual scents.  These different scents were very distinct.  Upon realizing this, I was soon able to recognize when either one of them came into a room.  Well, for me it was very entertaining…

Whenever I preach or do a Bible Study, I make it a point to take time understanding what the particular passage meant in the original language and culture.  Only after grasping a good understanding of how the original audience would have received and understood it do I try to interpret it for modern listeners and/or readers.  Being a person who loves learning and seeks to understand where others come from, this is natural for me.  However, I have realized many years ago that many others do not share this passion.  Therefore I make it a point to help others to understand this.

The point that I am trying to make?  Each of us have our own cultural and regional upbringings that have helped define each of us as we are as a unique person.  Our own life experiences make us unique and different.  And the culture and region that we grow up in help us to further interpret those experiences.  Because different ethnic groups, regions within a country, or even the people of other countries, do things differently, sharing experiences can sometimes be difficult.  Not only because of language barriers, but also because of cultural, ethnical, and/or religious differences.  We all have our set beliefs and biases.  We all have them.  However, to better understand others, we often have to try to understand how others believe, think, and behave.  In doing so, we show them respect for who they are.  Though this can often be challenging, maybe even extremely difficult, we should strive to do so.  Are you up to the challenge?

RC

A Quick Update

Well, I just wanted to give all of you a quick update on my life.  It seems that I am enjoying two significant transitions in my life, all at once.  Our church is transitioning to a new pastor, and I am transitioning to a new schedule at work.  Going to be a lot of bumps in the road for a while.

In the United Methodist Church, the District Superintendent has the option of moving a new pastor into a parish every few years.  And, the church sometimes has a say in it, but not always.  Though there are pros and cons to this, it’s a part of life.  We’ve enjoyed our current pastor for over 5 years now, which is a real blessing.  Especially since he was here to help us during a really time during the life of the church, the loss of the church building to a fire.  In fact, at one point, the District Superintendent wanted to move our pastor to another church, but our congregations ‘persuaded’ him not to.  We are all thankful that he listened to us then.

I have not met the new pastor, though my wife has.  She seems to like him so far, and from what she has told me, sounds like he will do well here.  Lord willing, the transition that all of us, as a church, will have will not be too difficult.

The other major transition that I will be facing is a change in work schedule.  After a major riot at the institution that I work at several years ago, we have been working 2x 12 hours shifts, 4 days a week.  It has been very challenging for all of us.  Especially since we do not have enough staff to fully staff those shifts.  Long hours, mandatory overtime several times a week, and only getting three days off each week has been very draining on all of us.  Thankfully, several staff members from other institutions have been coming on a regular basis to help us out.  That makes things a little better.

Unfortunately, though, we have been forced to return to 3x 8 hour shifts this week.  Some staff members and administration are very happy about this.  On paper, it looks much better, I am sure, and it enables administration to potentially cover a whole shift if they have to mandatory someone (we are only allowed to work up to 16 hours in one day).  And, yes, I do understand why some would really want use to return to 8 hour shifts.

However, the problem that we will be running into is lots of people being mandatoried for overtime, potentially for a whole shift (16 hours).  When we were working 4x 12 hour shifts, we had three days off to recover.  And, many of us would volunteer to come in early and o that we would not be mandatoried for that day.  And hopefully, we would not have to be mandatoried for several days.  But now we are spread out onto three shifts and will only have two days off per week to recover.  If staff is juggled really well, the mandatory over time might not be too bad.  However, it could get really bad.

When I returned to Corrections in 2013, after being gone for about a year and a half to pursue what I hoped to be a dream career as a pastor, we went from a little mandatory overtime to being hit three to four times a week.  And, since I was working 2^nd shift, I would typically have to work the full third shift.  Needless to say, all of us were chronically exhausted for the 6 or 7 weeks that this went on for.  And, I am concerned that this will be the case again.  I may be wrong, and I do hope that I am.  I really, really do hope that I am wrong.  Your prayers for all of us would be very, very appreciated!

I am not trying to be overly negative about things.  However, if I suddenly am not on Facebook, blogging, etc., that is probably the reason why.  I will try to be on when I can, but right now, I have no idea what my free time will look like.

RC

It's a Pain

Scripture References:
• James 1:1-6 NAS
• Matthew 6:25-34 NAS

Thoughts…
As of late, I have been dealing with two significant ‘challengers’ in my life. One being the place that I work at. It is not where I want to work, but as of right now, it is where God is insisting that I stay. The other is chronic lower back pain. And, right now, dealing with both has been fairly difficult. Because of this, these two verses are difficult for me to swallow.

For those who know me in real life, or have been following me for a while, you know that I work at a maximum-security state prison here in Nebraska. I started at this particular prison in January of 2006, left my job in corrections in 2011 to pursue a dream career as a pastor, and when that fell through in 2012, returned to the same prison in 2013. So, I am going on over 10.5 years working as custody staff at this prison.

Although I do my job well, it is not a job that I enjoy doing. Being a strong introvert and an empath, my job is extremely draining physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Due to severe staffing problems, we are working 12-hour shifts, four days a week. Even with a lot of help coming in from another prison, we can barely staff all of the required posts. If that weren’t a problem, it is now going to get more difficult.

Evidently, there are a few people who work at my prison that really, really want to return to 8-hr shifts. So, our union, Nebraska Association of Public Local 61 (NAPE) took the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services and essentially forced us to return to 8-hr shifts. The official date of this return will be the 25th of this month. But, as I said, we do not have the staffing for 12-hr shifts, let alone 3x 8-hr shifts!

Several years ago, in June and July of 2013, we started getting hit with being mandatoried 2-3 times a week. And, since I worked 1400-2200 (2 PM to 10 PM), I would usually get stuck with having to do a whole 16-hour day. And, this lasted at least 6 very, long, weeks! This time around, I fear that it will be even worse with overtime. Back in 2013, our institution had more than 70% seasoned staff (5 years or more of experience). We all knew that it was just a ‘swing of the pendulum, and we lost only a handful of people. This time around, with maybe 20-30% seasoned staff, I am very worried about how many people we may potentially loose.

And, of course, the Inmates are going to see all of us being highly stressed, sleep deprived, low moral, etc. Based on my experience and my intuition, I am expecting things to get really, really bad in the next few months. I know that my intuition is not always right, and I really hope that I am way off this time. I really, really hope that I am wrong about this.

Now, on top of that, I deal with chronic lower back pain. This past May, I celebrated 17 years in the US Army. I started off Active Duty in 2001, but then switched to the Nebraska National Guard in the spring of 2005. Although I sprained both of my ankles numerous times, got a concussion during my first training jump at Airborne school in 2002, and twisted my right knee at least once, things seemed to be going well for me health-wise. But, after my third deployment to Iraq in 2010, I was diagnosed with asthma. Since it was well controlled by medication and I could still run, I didn’t think much of it. Then, fast-forward to 2015, during fourth (and last) deployment. This time, however, I was deployed to Qatar. During this deployment, I started having severe lower back pain. In fact, the first time that I went to sick-call and was on quarters (had to say in my ‘room’), I reached a ‘new 10’ on the pain scale. Keep in my, I have had severe pneumonia, a bad concussion, and a broken arm in my lifetime.

So now, I have to take strong pain medication on a regular basis, and get injections into my lower back, just so that I can function most days. Don’t get me wrong… I am very thankful that things are not so bad that I have had to have surgery. I definitely do not want to have that! However, there are times where I have a lot of difficulty doing everyday things because of the pain; let alone, do my job at work. It has been almost 3 whole years since my chronic lower back pain started.

Scripture can be a very difficult pill to swallow, especially when you are going through very difficult time. ‘Keep it all joy…’ James writes. Rejoice with chronic back pain? Rejoice about a job that you dislike most days, hate on a regular basis, and leaves you so drained emotionally, spiritually, and physically that you can’t do things with your family half the time?! Yeah… That’s a very bitter pill for me to take, on a daily basis. Needless to say, many of my prayers have been very blunt and with very harsh language.

But, there is one thing that does help me deal with all of this, some times. And, that’s reading about the persecuted church in many of the other nations throughout the world (The Open Doors USA is a very good place to start). From the few stories that I have read over the years, my hardest days are often easy compared to some of the things that other fellow Christians have to endure. I guess it’s a matter of perspective… I don’t know… And, it is sometimes very difficult to deal with.

Looking at the Psalms

In a couple of weeks, I will re-start the Bible Study that I do. I am excited about it, because it gives me a creative outlet and something to look forward to each week. Honestly, I love teaching theology! At least for now, we will be looking at The Psalms. "Why?" you may ask. Well, several reasons.

The primary reason is because of the role that Psalms plays in worship. The Psalms were an integral part of the ancient Hebrew worship, and often is major part of ours. I am sure that you have noticed this. However, have you taken time to sit down and read through each of these Psalms that were used in a worship service and examined them in detail? If your church uses a Psalm as a ‘call’ and ‘response,’ have you really thought about what you were saying? Have you thought about what kind of events might have inspired a specific Psalm, or what the original words might convey in meaning?

Many of the Psalms are short, but full of vivid imagery and deep in theology. This will give us a lot to think about, pray about, and discuss. Another important thing is that most of these were someone's prayer that they wrote down. It was their way of putting words to what was on their heart and on their mind. Therefore, they can help us put our thoughts and feelings into prayer.

On a related note, the Psalms cover a very, very diverse range of emotions. From joy, to sadness, to loss, to being deeply confused, to absolute range, and many emotions in between. According to Paul in Romans 8:26-27, we see that the Holy Spirit aids us in our prayers, and searches our hearts. From the readings of the Psalms that I have done over the years, they have helped me put to words what I might be feeling and/or thinking.

While I am not fluent in Hebrew, I can work with that language much more easily than I can Greek. This will help me a lot with researching the history and original text. Believe it or not, this can be very important. For example, in Psalms 23, the original words used in verse 4 actually indicate a ‘staff’ and a ‘club?’ Which indicates to me that God will protect me from dangers that are ‘at a distance’ and those that are ‘right up close.’ That is pretty significant to me, don’t you think?

While most Psalms are a complete thought/prayer in and of themselves, several of the longer ones contain multiple parts. This means that we can either cover one of the longer Psalms in one session, or look at each of its parts over a period of two or more sessions. One Psalm that will take many weeks to look at is Psalm 119, which has over 170 verses! Though they cover a similar theme, they are very diverse in how they express it.

To be honest, it is very easy to look at Psalms and not really think about what they mean. They are very poetic and have wonderful (though sometimes scary) imagery. But, do we really think about them, or do we just quickly read through them? What about our hymns of today? When we sing them, do we really think much about what the words mean? Did you know, Psalms were often chanted during a Jewish worship service, playing a similar role as our hymns. For me, this is yet another reason to look at them in depth.

Something that I am hoping to do, is to post some of the things that we are looking at with the Psalms. Now, there is no guarantee that I will be able to do so every week. Some weeks are more challenging than others. And, I am sure that each of you out there know that. But, not only am I wanting to post things that I discovered, but I also hope to share some of the observations that others share in the class.

As I have talked about before in prior blog entries, each of us is on a journey. What God does with me in my journey will be very different than someone else. Each of us have our own particular joys, sorrows, struggles, expectations, etc. It is my hope, though, that the things that we discuss and learn about the Psalms will be a blessing onto at least some of you each week. That’s not to say that I won’t blog about other things that I experience. As time and life allow it, I want to do so. But, one step at a time. Ready to start a journey together through the Psalms?

Different Thoughts

I know that I have not been posting very much lately. Other priorities have taken precedence most of the time. There were times where I was contemplating something to write. But, unfortunately, I was not able to write them down. The good thing, though, is that I still have some floating around in my mind. I just have to work on 'flushing them out.'

One of the things that has occurred to me is to be thankful that I do have a job. A close friend of mine from seminary has found himself in a difficult position due to unemployment. For those of you out there who have been unemployed, especially while trying to support a family, you understand how painful and stressful it can be.

A few years ago, my wife and I found ourselves is such a situation. It was a very difficult time for all of us. Although we receive some financial help from the state, it was barely enough to cover food, gas, and a few of our bills. We were in a difficult situation financially, and it only got worse. God provided, but it seemed to be not nearly enough for us.

Eventually, God reopened the door to the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) for me. Once again, I found myself working as Custody Staff at the same prison that I worked at a few years prior. Because of the length of time since leaving for a deployment and returning to work with NDCS, I was required to attend the Staff Training Academy (STA) again. I had done well going through it the first time, and it was even easier the second time through. Although I was not excited about doing this kind of work again, I already very family with the things that I would be doing. Needless to say, I was very popular with the other students!

Now, as many of you know from prior blog entries, the Department of Corrections is not what I would prefer to do. It is sometimes (often really) very taxing on my mentally and spiritually. I have to deal with some very evil people, and with professionalism and tact. It is very hard!

But, in spite of challenging this job is, it does have very good job security. And, that is also very unfortunate. It is such a necessary job that I don’t have to work about being laid off. And, the pay is fairly good. I earn a living wage to support a family of 4, with enough left over to do things like vacations, spontaneous road trips, etc.

I will admit, it is sometimes very hard to be thankful for this job. After working 4x 12 hour shifts with very demanding Inmates, I feel exceptionally drained. Being a high sensing introvert, such things have a high impact on me. It often takes at least 1 full day of ‘recharging’ and ‘introverting’ for me to do a lot of things with the family, do on-line courses, etc. I often find myself needing to choose to be thankful, to make that conscious choice. And, there are days where I ‘fake it until I make it.’ That’s just the nature of my life. I do not like it, but I prayerfully seek to do it.

There are many outlets that I have to help deal with such things. On many a long day, I will come up, grab something to eat, and then watch various YouTube videos so that I can relax and recharge. I will sometimes read, go for a walk, or do some art work. Writing on this blog is another way that I decompress and relax.

All of us have to deal with stress in our lives. All of us have to deal with difficult situations, sometimes on a daily basis. Whether we like it or not, stress and difficult situations are a natural part of life. So, we might as well plan on dealing with them.

All of us develop ‘coping methods,’ or ways that we deal with situations. Some turn to drugs, some turn to pornography, some turn to playing computer or on-line games, or something else so as to avoid dealing with problems. These are examples of negative coping skills. While they may feel good at the time and help you to (at least temporarily) avoid dealing with something, the problems do not go away. And, when one uses these poor coping skills, you heap on more problems, often causing things to start spiraling totally out of control. Eventually, whether each of us wants to or not, we have to confront these problems.

Whether you feel like you are on top of the work, feel like you are in the worst place of hell, or some place in between, God is still there to help you. Though you may not like the direction that God is leading you, there is a reason behind it. Sometimes we suffer simply as a direct consequence of our bad choices. Sometimes it’s because of someone else’s negative choices. Sometimes, God may want us to go through times of testing in order to prepare us for something else. I often hate going through it at the time. But, I have often been able to look back and see how God has prepared me for something else because of what I had endured prior.

We all of the accept the consequences of our choices, be it positive or negative. We all have to choose how we deal with situations that are out of our control. Many times we find ourselves, or a loved in, in a very bad place with little or no warning. And, it may be of no consequence of our own (or their) choices. However, we can choose the attitude that we will have while enduring them.

Life is full of many different experiences. I often wonder why God has me where I am at. It is often very painful, or at the very least, very uncomfortable. But, it is where God has brought me. Each of you are where you are at, and God has a plan for you. I wrestle with God regularly with where I am and what is going on. And, I prayerfully try to be obedient. How about you? May God’s grace and love help you through.

Dealing with Evil Hearts

References:
• June 23 article on Wis. Youth facility
• June 24 article on Wis. Youth facility

I read the first article concerning the Wisconsin youth facility, writing on June 23, 2017, a few days ago. Having worked in corrections for almost 10 years now, I was both concerned about how the Inmates were being treated and alarmed about how others who have no clue what our job is like (like the lawyers of the ACLU) want to make our job more dangerous. While looking the first article up, I found the second one, which was written on the next day (written on June 24, 2017). That make me a bit more upset.

I started working for the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) in January of 2006. I briefly left in 2011 in order to pursue a ministry career. When that fell through, God reopened the same position (custody staff) with the NDCS. I have been with them ever since.

To be honest, it is a very difficult job, fraught with great risks. There can be great rewards as one sees lives changed. But, many choose to not change, in spite of all of the opportunities and programs that they are given. While I have only worked at a men’s facility, I have talked with several co-workers who work in the youth facility here in Nebraska. From the conversations that I have had with them over the years, they face many of the same challenges that we do. That is, they deal with Inmates that are often just as manipulative and physically dangerous as those that I deal with. And, being teenagers, they have a higher tendency to lash out than adults because of the fact that they do not have the same impulse control as some adult Inmates do. Though some of the youth may not be as physically strong as an adult, they are often in better shape due to their age. This is especially so with those of us who are over 40 years old and work in corrections.

Some people go to prison because they made one mistake and they were caught. Other have made living out of committing crimes. For those who have made it a lifestyle out of committing crime, who have anger issues, have had drug and/or alcohol abuse issues, etc., those of us who represent law and order become their targets. As anyone who has spent time working in a jail or prison, we have to be constantly aware of our surroundings, because of the dangerous people that we deal with.

Most of us who work in corrections genuinely care about others and want to help them make good changes in their lives. That is our goal. Those who want to work in Corrections (or any other Law Enforcement position) because of having power over others usually do not last very long. Such people either get fired from their job, get shunned by those of us who do care enough that they choose to leave (I personally have no tolerance for such people), or they become the focus of the Inmates’ ire and are assaulted. In the case of the latter, when such staff member realizes that they no longer have the power over others that they crave, they leave for ‘greener pastures.’

Don’t get me wrong, there are staff who are cruel and vindictive people who stay within Corrections. However, they are a very small minority. Just like in the military, Law Enforcement, working in the health care system, such people rarely last very long before they are forced out, choose to leave, or are seriously injured or killed.

One of the things that I am proud about with my training with NDCS is how it has adapted over the years concerning Inmate control that is safe and humane. Our primary always has been and always will be our interpersonal skills. The better training Corrections Professionals (including Custody Staff, Unit Staff, administration and support staff, etc.) have in de-escalation, the safer everyone is. However, de-escalation does not always work. For Inmates who have either lost control of their ability to reason (due to anger issues, currently being under the influence of a drug or alcohol, a vindictive/anti-social attitude, etc.), other means of maintaining control have to be used. That is how life is for us.

The wonderful thing about using pepper spray (or similar item) is that it does not cause long-term medical problems, are temporary, and usually cause the Inmate to surrender so that little to no physical force has to be used. When little to no physical force has to be used, it is a win-win situation. Why is that? Because neither staff nor the Inmate receive physical injuries.

In the training that I have received with the Nebraska National Guard as a MP, as well as with NDCS, I had to be exposed to the same chemical agents that we use. That way, not only do we know that we can work, in spite of the agents, but we also know how it affects the Inmate. Any time we have to use chemicals in order to gain control of an aggressive Inmate, we get exposed too. It sucks for them, and it sucks for us.

As I have contemplated the articles that I read, I have to wonder… Is the issue with the staff with how they use force, or is it with the Inmates trying to use the legal system to remove effective tools from the staff? Think of it this way… If two Inmates are fighting are determined to cause serious bodily injury to the other, do you think that they will stop fighting with three, four, or more staff show up? Youth or adult it doesn’t matter. Such Inmates who genuinely want to cause serious bodily injury to the other won’t just stop fighting when staff show up. Physical force will have to be used. Now, do you want to try and restrain a person who is very angry and wants to injure others with just physical strength? I don’t if I absolutely do not have to. If I can use chemical agents so that they decide to stop fighting, then it becomes much safer to intervene.

Restraints, restrictive housing, and chemicals are all tools that we in Corrections use to maintain control and keep ourselves and other Inmates safe. Having good training with the proper use of such things, good training with verbal de-escalation skills, clear guidance with how they should be applied, good programs available to give Inmates tools to more effectively deal with life, stress, anger, etc., those are things that keep all of us safe. Taking such tools away from us so that we are more likely to have to use physical force to stop dangerous behavior (to us, to other Inmates, to the public, and to the Inmate him/herself), that puts all of us in a more dangerous situation.

There is something else that I have often wondered… Those who are trying to champion Inmates by taking away effective tools from staff, do they have any clue as to how dangerous of a job that we have? I very seriously doubt it. All that they know is what the Inmate tells them. And, whenever a lawyer from the ACLU talks with an Inmate, it is always from the perspective as a lawyer for brief periods of time. Just like with the clergy that visit Inmates, their friends and family when they visit, lawyers and the media, they only see the mask that most of them put on for them. They do not see the day-to-day decisions, attitudes, etc., that we see on a daily basis.

I am all for programming to help those who are incarcerated to gain tools to change their lives. However, they will want to have to change. Just because they are given tools does not mean that it will make them make better choices. It may take time for the change to come, or it may never come. But, when good programming is available, then access to the tools for positive changes are there. But, there will always be those who will not change. For those who take a long time to change, if at all, staff have to have the tools necessary to keep everyone safer. Not all tools will work. There is always a high risk for injury or death at a prison, for staff and other Inmates. It will always be that way. But, the betters that staff have, and better programming for Inmates, the less the change for danger and the better the chances for everyone staying healthy and alive.

One last thought… For those who like to champion the “poor and abused” Inmates, here’s a radical thought. Why don’t you actually spend a few years working in Corrections. Not on the premise of, “oh, I am a lawyer but I want to see how things are for a little while.” If you take such an approach, you will see the façade that they give to the public and not see the darkness in their hearts. Have the mindset that you will ‘set the lawyer’ aside and ONLY work as a Corrections Professional. Go through our training, deal with the angry outburst (over legitimate things, and ridiculous ones), be on our uses of force, see them without their masks as they interact with other Inmates and with staff. If you want me to take your advice seriously, then you need to understand just how dangerous my job is.

In the almost ten years, I have seen many Inmates seek to make positive changes in their lives. For some, it took many years for the seeds of change to take root and to grow. For some others, the change came more quickly. For many others, it has not come at all. When you have all three mixed together, you have the high potential for great danger. To them and to staff. That is the nature of our job as Corrections Professionals. Enable us to do our job better, not make it harder. There are some staff that I enjoy working with more than others. No matter what, I want all of us to be able to go home to our friends and family safely each night (or morning if you work the night shift). We all have loved ones that want us to come home safely each night. Helps us to do our jobs better and more safely, not make it more dangerous.

Spring Cleaning and Memories

Over the last several months, my wife and I have been going through some of our many boxes and crates of things that we have collected over the years. We have been slowly going through things, trying to figure out what we still need and what we can get rid off. It's amazing how much 'stuff' can accumulate in just a few years time!

For some things, it is easy to determine if we want to keep it or not. Other things require a bit of thought. We often have to ask ourselves, "Do I really want to keep this? How important is it to me?"

As I have been going through things, many memories have been triggered. I came across some correspondence between my ex-wife and her family several weeks ago. A bit of a painful time in my life, so I did not keep it. I also have come across several different sets of things from when I was going through the ordination process with the Presbyterian Church (USA) and the United Methodist Church. Some of the things were important documents of schooling and evaluations that definitely needed to be kept. Some other things were not nearly that important. But all had to be evaluated.

I have also come across quite at bit from the different vacations that our family has been on together. Some of the brochures no longer needed to be kept. But, some of them did for when we can put a scrapbook together. Again, many different memories came to my mind.

Isn't it interesting how seeing something will trigger one or many different memories? An old letter from a close friend, a special gift from someone who has passed away, a certificate from something that was a major achievement, or an evaluation that was not very positive but still a growing experience? I have had many such experiences these last few months as I have been doing this. There have been a few times where I took a short break to contemplate the memories that an item brought back, even if they were not very pleasant.

One of the more pleasant memories surrounded a couple pages of a note that my "church grandma" had written me many years ago. Because my dad was a pastor and my mom sang in the choir, I had to sit with other people in the congregation during worship. I probably sat with three or four different couples or families on a regular basis, but one couple, the McCleods, were the ones that I sat with the most. In fact, Charles and Ethel McCleod became my 'church grandparents.' On many different occasions I would spend time with them while I was growing up in Kansas. Needless to say, a real flood of memories came back to me when I came across just one letter from them!

We all have memories that we deeply cherish, as well as ones that we would rather forget. But, all of those memories help to create who we are today. It has been my experience that God can use each of those memories in His plan for us. I know that this may come as a shock to some of you. But, God can, and often does, bring beauty out of our ashes. In fact, we may never know how He may use the different experiences that we have had. Nor may we fully realize what God does through us on this side of heaven.

At different points of our lives, we will have to go through the things that have accumulated in our lives. they are physical things or just emotions and memories themselves. How will we sort through them? What kind of criteria will we sue for what we want to keep and what we want to get rid of? At least with the physical things we can get rid of. The emotions and memories, especially the negative ones, not so easy. It is a challenge, is it not? For me, the hope is that God will take all of my experiences, from the wonderful to the extremely painful, and use them for His glory. As we prepare for Easter this Lenten season, perhaps that is something we all should prayerfully considering, how God might made beauty out of our ashes.

When God Speaks

References:
• Blog Entry written by Josh Buice
• Mark 13:11 NKJV
• John 14:26 NKJV
• Philippians 3:15 NKJV
• James 4:14-17 NKJV

Someone I know on Facebook asked what other thought about the above article, so I read it. Well, honestly, I tried to read it. It’s not very often that I come across articles that I cannot finish reading. This was one of them.

I am sure that Josh Buice meant well. However, I read the article with more than a little discomfort. This is because a young Christian could easily come away after reading the article and think, “God does not speak to me, so therefore God does not care about me.” Nothing can be further from the truth!

Now, there is a difference between people saying, “God told me..” because He inspired him or her to do something and someone saying, “God told me…” because they are trying to justify their own agenda. If what a person is saying or writing clearly clearly contradicts God’s Word, then they are teaching/speaking from their own human (sinful) spirit or it is demonically inspired. However, if it is something that is not clearly contradict Scripture but honors it, is edifying, points people back to God, etc., then it is probably Divinely inspired.

Now, there will be no more ‘inspiration’ of Scripture. What we have as Scripture is complete, from Genesis through Revelation. That much is very, very true. However, God will still ‘speak to us’ via the Holy Spirit. We are given God’s Spirit (Holy Spirit) for our guidance, encouragement, correct, etc. If God gives us to encourage and guide us and ‘instruct us,’ this it is a given that God will ‘speak to us.’
Although I grew up a pastor’s kid, it wasn’t until I was 20 that I gave my life to Christ. That was back in January of 1994. Over the decades, God has spoken to me on numerous occasions. Very rarely has it been an ‘audible voice.’ More often than not, it will be a nudge in my spirit, my conscience, highlight something in my thoughts (so that it really stands out), etc. Very rarely has it been in ‘distinct words.’

On many occasions while being a pastor in a church (while going through an ordination process), doing a Bible study, or something else, where I will clearly feel God directing me to do something, focus on something, etc. This is especially the case when God is directing me to confront something that is wrong (like a wrong belief that a local church wants to believe). On several occasions I have felt God directing me to confront something and will not let me ‘have peace’ until I obey.

One example that comes to mind… Many years ago, I had the opportunity to give a sermon at the church that my dad had once pastored and that I had grown up in. When my dad first shared this opportunity with me, I felt a very, very unusual sense of excitement to doing it, as if God was not just giving me ‘permission’ to do so, but very much wanted me to do so. Along with this, I felt ‘inspired’ to preach about my conversion. It wasn’t a ‘got knocked off my horse’ kind of conversation like Saul had, but more of a ‘quiet one.’ When I shared this with my dad, he ‘reminded me’ that the church used the liturgy and I was expected to follow it. Ironically (and hilariously to me), the passage was Luke 24:13-33, which perfectly described how I went from ‘just head knowledge’ to ‘saving heart knowledge.’

If Josh Buice’s goal was to speak against people saying, “God told me…” so that they could ‘add to Scripture’ or support their own agenda, I would whole heartily agree. However, the tone and words of the article spoke very differently to me. It spoke of a cold god who did not care about how we lived our lives. Think of it this way… Because of our sinful nature, there is no way we could live in obedience to God based on the Bible. We are absolutely incapable of doing so. It is when God gives us the Holy Spirit to dwell within us that God can guide us. If God guides us to live according to His Will (and His Word), then He is, in fact, ‘speaking to us.’ And, there will be times where God will very clearly instruct us to talk with a certain person, go to a certain place, maybe even some of the courses or college major to focus on. How God does that will be just as varied as there are people on this earth. But, because our God is a loving God who cares about how we live and what we do, He will ‘speak to us.’

Final thought… Prayer is how we communicate with God, is it not? What is communication, but the sharing of ideas, right? Because God calls us to cast all of our cares unto Him, does that not imply that there is going to be a response from Him? Again, how God will respond to us about different things will vary greatly on the person and the situation. God will never add to or take away from Scripture. But, how God wants you to apply things in your life, that He will let you know. Are you willing to listen?

Never Stop Learning

I have to admit, I love watching movies and documentaries on Netflix. Depending on my mood, I will watching anything from a foreign suspense or foreign action movie to a documentary on the Middle East, to documentaries on different types of animals. And, of course, I will watch various cartoons with my kids.

I am the kind of person who loves to learn new things. Whether it is reading a book, watching a movie based on actual events, reading articles about something on the Internet, etc., I seek to learn more about the world that I live in. And, as I learn more, I seek to pass it on to others.

I have found some fascinating programs on Netflix over the last few years to learn more about the world in which we live. In the last year, I have watched several documentaries on ancient Egypt and WWII Europe, just to name a couple. Each of these programs have brought to me different pieces to the puzzles of "what really happened" at that time. Some of the 'pieces' were familiar, some not so much. And there were some that I seriously questioned as to whether they were true or not. But, they were still an interesting piece to examine.

I can't remember if I have share this in a previous blog or not. But, my ancestors on my biological mother's side were ethnic Germans who had originally emigrated to what was Southern Russia (now the Ukraine) in the 1700-1800's. This mass migration of (mostly Polish and Germans) was initiated under Catherine the Great (One map can be found here, and my ancestors came from the Odessa region), but was ended during the 're-Russification' during the late 1800's. (Another brief article, in English, can be found here and another one can be found here.) This particular documentary was called 'Empire of the Tzars' and done in three parts. I was a little disappointed in the fact that there was not more mentioned about Czarina Catherine the Great inviting Germans to settle in southern Russia. But, at least it was mentioned, though in passing. The series did give me a better understanding as to all of the issues going on at the time.

Growing up, I was an avid reader. Though I would often prefer fiction action/adventure or Sci-Fi, I would also spend lots of time reading encyclopedias and various books to learn more about things. These easily ranged from biology, ancient history, information on various religious, to the supernatural, etc. Because of the different things that I learned over the years, my friends would jokingly saw that "I had memorized the who encyclopedia!" While that wasn't quite the fact, the broad knowledge that I had, people would often come to me with questions. Yes, I considered all of that a compliment.

Thankfully, I have not lost that love for learning. In the last few years, I have extended my interest from theology, ancient history, WW II era, etc., to also include genealogy. Although I am interested in both sides of my biological family, so far I have focused most on my biological mother's side. Unfortunately, though, I have not had much time this past year in order to work on this. Working long hours at the prison, having work on the side for the Guard, and taking care of a family definitely does eat up a lot of my time. Oh, well, as some things settle down, I hope to do some more.

I encourage each of you out there to develop and nurture a love for learning. It helps you to grow as a person. Even if it's something that you don't agree with, learning more from another person's perspective can help you in many ways. And, the more you learn about other beliefs and histories, the better you can understand your person beliefs and experiences. The more you learn, the healthier you will keep your brain.

Some Holiday Family Fun

Yesterday my family and I went to see the Nutcracker at the University of Lincoln Lied Center. For a Christmas gift, we bought tickets for my parents so that they could join us for the experience. It was a really wonderful experience that all of us were able to enjoy. My son enjoyed the first half, especially the fight between the the Nutcracker, the two soldiers and the Rat King and his minions. My daughter, who is in ballet, loved it all.

I love watching the performing arts, listening to classical music, going to an art museum, etc. Part of the reason why I enjoy such things is because of the amount of time I have invested myself in them. All through middle school and until the end of my sophomore year in high school, I played the trumpet in band. I loved playing in the orchestra/concert band and even did jazz band for a year. That was very different and a real thrill! But, I did not enjoy marching band.

Not only was I in band, but I took numerous art classes. In fact, I took at least one semester of art every year from 8th grade until I graduated from college. I have dabbled in several different medias (types of art), from ceramics to pencil, to colored pencil, to Conté Crayons, to paint ( many types), to pen and ink, etc. In fact, some of the only medias that I have not done are metal, stone, an glass blowing.

And, on top of all of this, I have been in several plays, not counting the Christmas plays that I have been in over the years. My German class (first year in College) put on a play (auf Deutsch, naturlich... in German, of course...) that my parents attended. I was a stage hand of the play "To Kill a Mockingbird" and played several 'minor roles' in the play "Mother Courage (and all of Her Children)." It was a lot of hard work and took a lot of time to practice and get things correct. But, it was all worth it in the end.

I really enjoyed the dancing, though I have to admit, I was often focusing a lot more on the music. The music was done by Nebraska Symphony Orchestra, and I simply loved it. Because of the time I spent in band, I can really appreciate all of the hard work that they put into it. To me, the music not only had exceptional tone quality, but seemed to seamlessly blend from one point to another. Even though I really did enjoy watching the performers do the ballet, I just seemed to be drawn much more to the music.

The other thing that I was really drawn to was all of the art work. I seemed to be especially intrigued by the creation of the 'palace' background during the second scene. They did a stupendous job with all of the stage art work, in my opinion. However, my eyes felt especially drawn in to the background work during the 'palace scene' because of how well it has been done. Although it was clearly a scene painted onto a canvas surface, my eyes still were drawn into it. The people who created it did a very good job with their one point perspective. And, they also added some reflective/sparkly items to the backdrop, so as to give it the illusion of sparkling jewels. This detail just added to the depth and enjoyment of the ballet overall.

As I soaked up as much of the experience as I could, I was often reminded of my experiences while studying German at Centre College. Part of the uniqueness of 'the Centre Experience' is there emphasis on experiencing many different things. In fact, each year full-time students have to attend 12 convocations, which range from concerts, special movies (because of their emphasis on cross-cultural experiences), various lectures, etc. There are so many different options that this is not hard to do. I have to admit, I miss attending such things that enrich one culturally. I will take what I can get.

What was more special about this situation was that I was enjoying it with my family. Both my wife and I really enjoy going to concerts, plays, etc., as well as my parents. It's a way that we can experience other times and other cultures. At least, get a 'snap shot' through their artifacts, art, music, etc. It's something that my wife and I are trying to cultivate in our children. Since my children's interests vary quite a bit, this can sometimes be a challenge. But, it is something that we try to do, to cultivate a love for learning about other people and cultures. This can of love of learning has helped me to grow as a person, and as a Christian.

How has it helped me to grow as a Christian? Several ways. First of all, it has helped me to appreciate and the historical and cultural influences/context of when Scripture was written. Each part of the Bible was written by a specific person, addressing specific historical and cultural situations, with a given language. And, not only was each person writing to a specific audience, but each person had their own unique way of writing. Understanding all of this helps one to understand what the original message was to what kind of audience and how they would have probably received it. That, in turn, informs us how we can apply these historical and spiritual truths to our lives.

Another way all of this has enriched me is how I prayerfully try to interact with others. In learning about the history of others, I have gained a better appreciation to the importance of know an individual or a group's historical background. There are reasons why people have done different things. Many different and significant (though not always obvious) influences have led up to different actions and decisions. Understanding this has helped me on numerous occasions with guiding me with how I deal with certain people. And, it's not always easy to do. But, it is still very important.

During this Advent Season, I hope that all of you are take time to make special memories with you family and friends. It can be very challenging at times. But, the hard work will pay dividends in the future. And, if you can learn more culturally through art, music, etc., all the better. At least, that what I believe.

Silently Testifying

For those who live in the Great Plains, or have traveled through it, old homesteads and old farms are a regular part of the scenery. Since I have lived in one part of the Great Plains or another for over half of my life, I sometimes don't notice them while traveling through. But yesterday (Sunday, 04SEP2016) was different. I had been in Kansas for a family reunion and was driving home. Using Google Maps, I was driving on a road that I don't recall driving on before. Being the Labor Day Weekend, and the typical Sunday in the Country, not a whole lot of people were out. So, I have a very quiet drive.

My daughter had fallen asleep, so I was drinking in the open roads, the country music that I had playing on my iPod, and watching the scenery roll by. It was a very relaxing time for me.

Just sound of the Nebraska boarder on Kansas HWY 99, I saw something that really perked my interested. As I crested a hill, an series of old farm buildings appeared before me. Seeing that the road was empty, I slowed down and took a series of pictures. Yes, I often looked around to make sure that things were safe. No a single car appeared during this time. It was as if God was purposefully wanting me to really drink this experience up. It also really got me thinging...

To what were these buildings silently testifying to? What kind of joys were celebrated here? What kind of sorrows were grieved here? Did the generations that lived here have thankful hearts to how God provided? Did they have challous hearts because of the hardships they had to endure?

Why was the farm abandoned? Did the children loose interest in making things grow? Did they feel called to different careers? Or, did they simply want what they felt would be an easier life doing something else?

Judging by the size of the house, they were doing well at some point in time. When people first started farming in the Great Plains, especially the original Homesteaders, the original homes were not big at all. Often times, they were little more than simple cabins or sod houses. But, if God blessed the people enough that they could afford to build something nicer, then they often would. Or, in the case of a simple cabin orignally, they would consistantly add on as the family grew and they could afford to do so.

Those of us who have lived here on the Plains for any length of time know how challenging it can be. From the hot, sometimes dry summers, to the sometimes bitter cold winters with very dangerous blizzards. Some families have kept their homesteads for generations. Some have even grown and grown. Still others have struggled, sold parcel after parcel of land off, until they have little to nothing left.

Being someone who loves history, I have learned that each place has many, many stories to tell. Even famous places like Gettysburg, PA; Salem, MA; The Alamo, TX; and others each have a history that they are famous for. But yet, each of them have very personal histories. Histories that are unique as each and every individual who lives there.

Over the years, my interest in world history has gradually evolved into an interest in family history. That is, geneology. Just like history, geneology is a science and an art. There are many things that you can discover through painstaking research. But, there are things that you will never know for sure. For example, you can learn for sure what a person's address was at a specific time, and possibly which church he/she attended (or was a member of) and what kind of job he/she might have had. You may be lucking to find a newspaper article or two that describes something that they did or said. But, more often than not, things like the friends that they had, how much they enjoyed life, what they though of the house or apartment that they lived in, etc., are things you have to guess at.

Because I was coming home from a family reunion, these kinds of thoughts were fresh in my mind. Maybe the family that lived in the modern house across the highway were decendants of the family that once lived on the old farm? Or, maybe the family has long moved on? Maybe someone in the family had kept a diary of their experiences? Maybe someone in the family enjoys geneology and has written about their experiences? Or, maybe the buildings will forever silently testify to what happened within their walls?

One last thought... We all have stories to tell. We all have experiences that have greatly touched our lives. Some of them are good, some of them are painful, some of them are down right histarical. But, stories we have none-the-less. For those of us who are followers of Christ, we have many stories about what He has done in our lives. These are stories that we should be willing to share, too. Whether they are joyful ones, sad ones, or times of great frustration with God, they are still our stories, our testamonies, as to what He has done in our lives. You never know how God can use your personal experiences in the life of someone else. I know that He has often surprised me!

This weekend as we celebrate Labor Day, let's take some time to reflect together on our personal experiences. During our get-togethers with friends and families, let us share these joys and sarrows. Not only do shared experiences help one generation bond with another, but they can be a key that unlocks something in the life of someone else. You just never know what God will do. Just know and trust that He will do something.

A Lifelong Journey

Many years ago, I was in seminary and working on becoming ordained with the Presbyterian Church (USA). One of the many requirements that I had to fulfill was attend a multiple day workshop with several career counselors. If I remember correctly, it took place during a weekend, not that it matters too much for this story.

I was not the only one participating in this career counseling session. There were at least three other people involved. Being that it took place almost 20 years ago, I can't remember a lot of the details. If memory serves me correctly, there was at least one 'group counseling session,' an individual counseling session, a battery of questionnaires, and quite a few group discussions. I believe that one of the questionnaires was on the Gifts of the Spirit and another one was the Meyers Briggs personality test. I know that one of the results of that test was being introverted. At this time, I cannot remember what the other three letters were of my 'type.'

During one of the discussions, we had to draw a picture of how we viewed our currently relationship with God. Each of us had a large piece of paper (something along the line of 24 inches by 36 inches, maybe a little smaller) to draw on. Of course, each of us drew something different. That's to be expected.

Not only did we have to draw the pictures, but we had to explain what it meant. And, I was more than willing to do so. The woods symbolized a brief period in my life where I faced a lot of challenges. Part of which was the room situation that I had endured several years prior with two of my four roommates. It was a very difficult time for me, but one I will discuss in another blog entry. Suffice to say, the pain and difficulties I had experience in Strasbourg, France, helped to facilitate my turning to Christ the following January.

Although I did not how to exactly explain it, I drew me by myself because that is how I often was. Not that because I felt I didn't need others. On the contrary, I do. However, being more introverted, I do a lot of things alone in order to be able to better enjoy being with others. I also tried to explain that though I was standing by myself at the top of the wooded hill, I wasn't completely alone. The picture was through the eyes of someone else.

Being at the top of a hill and the foreground being out of sight symbolized the fact that I didn't know what all the future held. Though I could see a little ways in front of me, I could not see all where the path would lead. There were other hills, valleys, streams, etc., in front of me that I was catching glimpses of. They had been hidden form me until I had reached that hill top. But, the person behind me still had the perspective that I just had. The one of not knowing what the future would hold. To myself and the person behind me, things are being revealed very slowly, by bits and pieces.

You are probably wondering why I would draw something like that. Well, a lot of it is because of the things that I experienced while growing up. The vacations that we took as a family and my love for walking, exploring new places, learning new things, etc., were all influential with developing this 'life is a journey' outlook.

I grew up a preacher's kid, the son of a Presbyterian (USA) minister. Each and every summer we would go on vacation and visit different places. Most summer vacations included visiting relatives, but not always. It was almost always by car, when traveling from place to place. Like a typical kid, I would sometimes get bored and ask, “Are we there yet?!” But, a lot of the times, my parents and I would play games to help make it seem that time was going by faster.

Having traveled all over the United States, I developed a real love for seeing different sights and learning about different places. I remember one especially challenging summer vacation when I was 10 years old. My parents, my Dad's cousin and his godson, and myself hiked the Grand Canyon. We went down the south rim and up the north rim. It was physically very demanding for all of us. I remember being very tired every day, but loving all of the sights, smells, experiences.

All of these many experiences, even traveling to Europe three times, have helped me to develop the mindset of life being a journey. It starts when we are born and ends when we die. The sights that we see, the people that we meet, and the choices that we make all influence what our journey will be like and how it will end. Sometimes things happen along our journey of life that are unexpected, painful and not of our choosing. Even though such difficulties are hard to accept, it is a part of life. We can make one wonderful choice after another and enjoy the beauty that God has created around us. But, because of sin in the world, things can go wrong and we suddenly experience pain, sadness, anger, bitterness, even death. That is, unfortunately, a part of life as a whole.

But, there is great beauty, if we take time to enjoy it. Although I usually have a quick pace, I have learned the importance of stopping from time-to-time, and just taking in my surroundings. Taking them in, savoring them, experiencing all that is around me. Being more introverted than extroverted, I usually have the preference of doing things on my own. That way I can emotionally and mentally recharge while I am enjoying life around me. But, just like everyone else, I need to love and be loved. I need to spend time with others so that I grow as a person and fully enjoy all that is around us. No person is an island. We cannot permanently separate ourselves from others. We all need time alone, those some need more than others. We all need loved ones in our lives to share in this journey.

I don't know if my parents understood that I was an introvert back then, or what that meant for me. I do know that they did allow me the space that I needed most of the time, often without question. This enabled me to ponder things, organize my thoughts, sort things out, so that I could better understand what I was thinking and feeling. And again, all of this walking and think, mental sorting, helped to develop my sense of life being a journey. One that I sought to enjoy as much as possible.

One of the things that bring me great satisfaction is walking with a person who is struggling with something. Although I am sure that this has happened a lot over the years, it became more apparent to me while I was in college. I gave my life to Christ in January of 1994. During the following fall, I had several 'odd' experiences. While walking to and from different classes, someone would start walking with me. Not only would they walk with me, they would start sharing something that was bothering them. I was stunned that this was happening to me. During each conversation, I would listen and share my observations, make suggestions, or whatever else I felt led to do. This happened several times over a period of two weeks. And, as time went by, I noticed how much satisfaction I got out of helping others. Even if I only listened to they share their burdens, I felt good about it. It was through these experiences that I felt God calling me to attend seminary.

As my journey continued over the years, I found myself 'journeying' with others. Sometimes it would be for a brief period of time. Other times it would be multiple conversations. No matter how long the 'shared journey' goes, I almost always feel a deep sense of satisfaction that I had helped someone, even in a small way. Even today, I find myself willingly walking '100 miles' with someone who has a burden that they need to share. When it comes to arguments and debates, I reach my limit very, very quickly. But, for someone who has a genuine need, I can walk a long ways with them.

I know that God gives different Spiritual Gifts to different people. To some God enables them to have deep insights and lots of knowledge. To others, He gives a Gift of prophecy (more 'forth-telling' of God's Word than 'fore-telling'). Still others receive a Gift of leadership. At least one of the Spiritual Gifts that God has given me is pastoring. That is, to mentor, protect, nurture, help, etc. Like what a shepherd does with his/her flock. It is something that I do naturally due to my personality.

Quite a glimpse into who I am, huh? And to be honest, this is just a small bit of me. Over the decades, God has been enabling me to discover new things about myself, new things about others, and new things about Him. It has been an incredible, ‘journey of discovery.’ Not everything I have learned has been pleasant. But, it has all been important for one reason or another.

Have you ever taken time to examine your faith walk and what you have learned over the years? Even if you have been a Follower of Christ for a few months or just a year or so, you have had a faith journey. I encourage you to think about it. It may be quite the eye opener!

Dangers and Protection

References:
• Matthew 10:16-23 NAS
• Psalm 91 NAS
• Psalm 23 NAS
• שּׂבּﬨ (shay'-bet)
• משענה (mish-ay-naw')
• Our Daily Bread: Refuge

This past week has seen two assaults upon staff by inmates in two different state prisons. This is not the first time that such an assault has taken place within one of the several Nebraska Department of Corrections prisons. In fact, almost a year ago, there was a major riot on Mother’s Day in 2015. Our work is an inherently dangerous one because of the people that we work with. Every day, we go to work with a cautious and alert attitude, knowing that anything can happen.

Over my 40+ years, I have worked many different jobs. Ranging from camp counselor at a Church Camp, to being a student pastor at a church, to doing ministry to children at an inpatient treatment center (while in seminary), to being an Airborne paratrooper, to being a MP with the Nebraska national Guard. With each of these different jobs, I faced rewards and challenges unique to each environment. Between my almost 15 years with the US Army, between Active Duty and time with the Nebraska National Guard, I have been deployed four times. Three times to Iraq and once to Qatar. Of course, there were significant dangers with each of these deployments. Facing danger definitely isn’t new with me.
To be honest, each of us face dangers of one sort or another. Whenever we wake up each day and go to school or work, walk around town, go to church, go shopping, etc., there are always risks involved. There is always the chance that a we could get into an accident, slip one something, large branch could fall from a tree upon our head, be bitten by some dangerous insect or animal, have a severe allergic reaction to something, etc. We live in a fallen world, plagued with decay and death. But, some jobs seem to have more risks and dangers than others.

When I joined the military or joined NDCS, I went through training to prepare my physically and mentally for the challenges and dangers that I might face. Though all of the training is helpful and absolutely necessary, things always seem different when you are faced with a dangerous situation in real life.

While I drive to work each morning, I prayerfully put on God’s spiritual armor (Ephesians 6) and ask God watch over and protect myself and all of my co-workers. Along with that, I ask God to help us to be aware of things around us. Being alert is paramount!

I know that everyone prays to a god of whatever religious persuasion they follow for help, guidance, protection, etc. Whenever I do, I always remind myself that God always answers prayers, but not always the way that I expect.
Many Soldiers over the decades have found Psalm 91 to be exceedingly comforting. It is sometimes referred to as “The Soldier’s Psalm.” I have found comfort and encouragement in this particular Psalm on several occasions. But, Psalm 23 comes to my mind more often.

Almost 20 years ago, I was in seminary and took a Hebrew reading class. It was one of the few classes that I did extremely well in. Throughout the short semester, we would take various passages from the Old Testament and carefully research the Hebrew text. Afterwards, we would then translate the passage. As long as we could justify the word choice, the professor would accept it. While I was working on Psalm 23, something very interesting stood out to me. The words that are typically translated as ‘rod’ and ‘staff’ very interesting meanings. The first word, שּׂבּﬨ (shay'-bet), can mean ‘staff’ or ‘club.’ The other word, משענה (mish-ay-naw'), does mean ‘staff.’

Since I have a very vivid imagination (one of the strengths of being an INFJ), I pictured in my mind how this might look. In my mind, I saw a flock of sheep with a shepherd or two mingling amongst them. The shepherds watched the sheep, guiding them from place to place. They showed them where to graze on healthy grass and drink from clean water. Then I pictured a wild animal, let’s say a wolf, approach the flock. At first the shepherd would ‘reach out’ to the wolf with the sling and stone if they could. If they missed or there wasn’t time to get a stone ready, they would attack the wolf with the long staff. If that missed, or if the wolf was too close, the shepherd still had the rod (or club) to defend themselves and the sheep with.

That got me thinking just how God might protect me and others, from dangers that may be far away or those that may be right next to us. Just like any protective armor or weapon used for self-defense, they do not always work. Some people, though very highly protected, still get injured or killed. Though a person goes through years of training and become very skilled in protecting themselves and others, it doesn’t always work that way.

In both Psalm 23 and Psalm 91, we see that God is there to protect us, strengthen us, guide us. But, in real life, we also experience pain and death in spite of all the draining and safety precautions that we take. Sometimes we are in awe with how God miraculously saved us or someone else from harm when they should have been hurt or killed. But yet, not always.

It is a struggle when we so earnestly plead with God for safety for ourselves and others, but they are injured or killed. It is painful to see someone train hard for years, do everything right, purposely are careful, and still get hurt or die. We often wonder, “Why?”

What is comforting to me is, that no matter what the outcome will be, God will be there with me. I have been in several situations where I could have been seriously hurt or killed, but yet God miraculously protected me. But though God has done incredible things for me, He has also allowed pain and suffering to happen to myself or those around me. In 2006, a very good friend of mine died in Afghanistan from a IED (improvised explosive device). Several friends of mine within the Nebraska Department of Corrections have been injured while at work.

We all face danger each and every day. We all have a responsibility to think carefully, get the education and training that we need to be safer, to be aware of what is happening around us, etc. But in spite of all we do right, there is no guarantee that the outcome will be what we want. God never promised that. He only promised that He would be there with us, guiding us as we let Him. Just knowing that God will be with me, no matter what I go through, is great encouragement. I do not know what God will allow me to experience in the future. But, I know that God will be there with me, no matter what.

With whatever you are experiencing today, I encourage you to seek God’s help, His blessings, and His protection. Trust that He will answer your prayer. Just understand that His answer may not be what we are hoping or wanting. Let us remember that God loves us more than we can understand. He sees the ‘big picture.’ And, no matter what happens in our lives, let us radically trust God to use our obedience to accomplish His will. Though we may never fully understand the ‘why,’ let us walk in faith that He does. And may God give us the knowledge we need to make decisions we need to make, may He give us wisdom with how to do them, and the strength and courage to do them. And, if necessary, the strength and courage to do it alone, or to lay down our lives.