Ongoing Training

I know that it has been a while since I have written an entry.  While I have had a lot of things inspire a blog entry, I have not had much time and/or interest in writing.  Because of this, I am taking a little time now to do so.

I just finished my yearly In-Service with the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services yesterday.  It’s a week long series of classes.  Some of them, like fire safety and report writing are required by everyone.  Others, like PPCT (Pressure Point Control Tactics) are only required for those who have direct Inmate contact.  As a Unit Case Worker, I have to not only take ‘basic self-defense,’ but more advanced defense and control tactics in order to protect myself and other staff from an aggressive Inmate.

This past week was enjoyable and challenging.  Because I am a certified ASHI (American Safety and Health Institute – https://emergencycare.hsi.com/) First Aid and CPR qualified, instead of taking the First Aid/CPR class, I taught part of it.  Although I had a bit of a rough start, I did manage to keep it interesting and informative.  I focused on the First Aid part while the Training Specialist, in charge of the In-Service classes, taught the CPR part.  This was good because we had a large class, so out tag teaming it broke it up into more manageable groups.  That was a lot of fun!

Because my back problems flared up last week, while on a short vacation or all things, I was really worried about the self-defense part this past week.  However, since God evidently wants me to stay where I am at, He enabled me to not just partake in the class, but to participate normally.  That is, although my back bothered me at times, it did not limit me in what I could do.  And, since martial arts is something I have always been very interested in, I really got a good workout, for two days straight.

In fact, the Training Specialist joked with me yesterday morning, the day after all of the PPCT/self-defense training.  Because of all that I did in training, she was not expecting me to be in class yesterday.  I then told her that, quite frankly, I was astounded that I was not in excruciating pain myself.

Now, I just have to finish my on-line portion of my In-Service.  This is the part that I am not overly thrilled about.  Having grown up on the 70s and 80s, my preference is the ‘traditional classroom.’  While I can learn from an online course, it just isn’t the same as attending the class, having a physical book(s), and being able to actively interact with the instructor and other students.  It just isn’t as enriching.

Now, there are some on-line things that I have been actively taking advantage of that I do like.  For example, I am really enjoying Duolingo (https://www.duolingo.com/).  I am using it to maintain my German language skills and learn Spanish.  Although it’s not nearly as good as actually partaking in a class, it is set up in such a way as to enable a person to learn another language.  Of all the different ‘learn-at-your-own-pace’ books and programs that I have tried over the years, this one is one of the best.  In my opinion…

At least the training that I am doing for the Nebraska Department of Corrections isn’t as intense and annoying as some of the Army training that I have done over the years.  For example, the ‘Accident Avoidance’ course that I’ve taken yearly since 2003 has not changed at all.  It not only has the same person narrate it, while wearing ‘old school’ BDUs, which were replaced by the ACUs many years ago, but the scenarios have not changed.  And, since you can’t skip though things, one is forced to sit through the exact…same…annoying…unchanging…scenario…  To me, that is a very good definition of ‘death by PowerPoint.’ 

I also had to do many other classes in order to be able to promote to Staff Sergeant and for being a ADSO (Additional Duty Safety Officer) for my unit.  The on-line course for promotions, SSD2 (Self-Structured Development, I believe) was very long and tiring.  Don’t get me wrong…  There was a lot of good things in the course.  And, much of it was definitely important things to know and understand so that I could be a good mid-level leader.  However, the class’ approach and teaching style often left a lot to be desired.  At least for me, it was not very engaging at times.

I do know that everyone learns differently.  What works well for one person may not work as well for someone else.  For me, on-line classes have to be done in a very engaging way, and be something that I am really interested in, for it to be effective and enjoyable.  And, I do understand that many large corporations/organizations do a lot of the on-line training because it cuts down on their cots.  Understandable… 

Oh, well…  In a little bit, I will return to my on-line training for NDCS and continue to plod through it.  After that, I will do some on-line training that I really enjoy.  That is, the Duolingo course.  I will also probably engage in one of my new hobbies this weekend.  Well, finish something from a new hobby.  More about that later, though…

In closing, I definitely do encourage all of you to continue to learn and grow.  Find avenues, be it from an instructor in a class, from YouTube videos, or from a book, to learn new things and improve skills that you already have.  The more you learn, the more you better your life and the lives of those around you.

In Christ,

Ray

A New Role

From last October until January, I worked as an Acting Case Worker as often as possible.  Having been Custody Staff for over 11 years, I was absolutely ready for a change in my life.  As Cusdody Staff, my role with the Inmates was 70-80% enforcing the rules and only 20-30% on interacting, role-modeling, mentoring, etc.  As a very introverted and empathic person, this role was a difficult one.

To be honest, I originally started working with the Nebraska Department of Corrections in January of 2006 and quickly realized how challenging the role would be for me.  In fact, it was a job that I only applied for because my unemployment insurance from leaving Active Duty was running out.  Being someone who is a natural mentor and shepard, this role made me feel like a big, square peg being forced into a small, round hole.  More than a little awkward.

Now, don't misunderstand...  I was very good at my job.  By nature, I have always been a thorough and fair person.  The Inmates soon learned that they could always know what to expect from me.  Though many Inmates hated me for enforcing the rules, they respected me for being consistent and treating everyone equally.  Many coworkers and supervisors respected me for this, too.

Having been a Non-Commissioned Officer (NCO) for years, I always strove to utilize on-the-spot corrections whenever possible, be it staff or Inmates.  Some highly respected me for this, others didn't.   But, they typically did not try to force me to do differently.

Although I was very good at my job, it did not give me much personal satisfaction.  As an INFJ, such a role was extremely draining physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Because of my growing dissatisfaction with work, I would often become bitter with God for the job He put me in.  Sometimes I was able to "grow where you are planted," but that was more the exception than the rule.

Although I am still not thrilled with where I am at, I am more accepting of my role as Unit Case Worker.  It has a much higher focus on problem solving, mentoring, etc., that I have a more positive view of my work and role.  Being that I work in a prison, I will always have a strong focus on security.  However, it is now closer to 20-40% of my work, not the main focus.

What is interesting is that many of the Inmates have quickly adjusted to this new role of mine.  In fact, some of the Inmates who were respectful in the past would not talk with me much at all.  Now, however, many are more willing to talk and receive my feedback.  I am still quick to correct unprofessional/inappropriate comments.  For example, one Inmate would always say, "Hi, buddy!"  After correcting home several times by saying, "I am not your buddy," I finally took him to the side and explained why his comment was inappropriate.  The 'light went on' and he has talked with me correctly ever since.  And this was over 2 weeks ago, and this person is a friendly person by nature.

Although working in Corrections is hard for me, being a Unit Case Worker seems to be a better fit.  I am not excited about work, though when I was acting Religious Coordinator,  I was.  But, that is a different story for another time.

In Chist,

RC

Challenging Times

I apologize ahead of time if the grammar or spelling is off.  I am doing this entry via my smartphone and cannot guarantee how well it will come out.

I am currently on vacation, though it is mostly a 'stay-cation' since I will be home for most of it.  But, a break from work is just that, a break from work.  And, considering just how stressful and draining my work is, it is very much a greatful break!

And, I am still job hunting.  Come the end of this month, I will have a total of eleven years with the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services.  Though it is very steady employment, I am ready for a change.  I am prayerfully looking for a ministry job that isn't too far from our current location.  Though I am looking at other possibilities, ministry is my heart's de sire.

Speaking of ministry....  I will be starting a Bible study at my church on Purpose Driven Church.  Because of all the new changes in our church, including a new building and new pastor, we are prayerfully seeking God's guidance with directions in ministry.

I am currently at 17+ years with the US Army, most of it has been with the Nebraska National Guard.  Four years of Active Duty, four deployments (three combat deployments to Iraq), etc., it has been quite a trip.  And, I am feeling it most every day.  Not fun...

This past weekend, my family went to Kansas for a family reunion.  It was a great time, although my back started acting up, painfully so.  Had to cut the trip short because of it.

In spite of the challenges, I am trying to keep my focus on Christ.  It is not easy, let me tell you!  But, strive I do...

Lost in Translation

Have you ever had an experience where you tried to tell a story and someone, or maybe your whole audience, couldn’t understand why something was funny or embarrassing?  Or has someone told you a story about their childhood or travel experience that left them in stiches but left you just ‘scratching your head’ because it didn’t make much sense to you?  I’m sure that all of us have had such experiences from time-to-time.  For those of you who have traveled a lot within your own country, or especially to other countries, this is probably a familiar experience.  I know that it is to me.

This morning I had an awesome opportunity with helping to lead worship in my church.  Every year at about this time in the summer, we have Germanfest.  Because many of the people who settled here in this part of Syracuse are of German heritage, we have this festival to celebrate it.  We also have a joint worship service, too.  And it was during this joint service that I helped out.

What did I do?  I read responsive reading and the Lord’s Prayer, in German.  Of course, we had the English translation in the bulletin and on the PowerPoint.  It made for some entertaining experiences.  Instead of just jumping into the responsive reading with the German, I think I should have giving some instructions first.  It took a few moments for people to catch on, but they did. 

What was really entertaining was leading the Lord’s Prayer.  I actually gave instructions this time, that I was going to read it in German and for those in the congregation will recite it in English.  So, I read the German while they said it in English.  Well, for those who have not spoken something in a foreign language in front of people, especially while they were talking, it’s not very easy.  It is probably also the reason why I am not a professional interpreter.  That is, translating something from one language to another while people are talking. 

It got me thinking about my many experiences with languages over the years.  For those who don’t know me, I have always been fascinated by other languages and cultures.  Whether the languages and cultures are made up like the Klingons in Star Trek or the Hutts in Star Wars, I find them fascinating.  Actual languages in our world, whether modern or ancient, fascinate me as well.  Not just languages, but other cultures as well greatly interest me.

For those who do not know, I have been deployed to Iraq three different times and Qatar once.  I have also spent a significant amount of time in Europe, primarily in Germany, Holland, and the Alsace/Lorraine Valley (a region on the French/German Boarder), in the city of Strasbourg.  With each of the different experiences in each of those areas, I learned many new things about other cultures and peoples.  In fact, my favorite job that I have ever had was working in the International Zone Universal Placarding (IZUP) Office, back in 2010, creating security placards for vehicles.  These placards were needed to access the International Zone in Baghdad, Iraq, and certain areas within the IZ. 

In order to do my job, I had to interact with many different people from many different countries.  Because of my previous experiences with other cultures while in high school, collage, and in seminary, I had a lot of knowledge to draw upon in order to interact with the many different people.  For example, when the security group from one of the Asian embassies came in to have their placards renewed, I was the next available person to work with them.  Because of Asian friends that I had in the past, I knew the first thing I needed to do in order to show them respect was to bow, so I did.  This sign of respect made such an impact with this group that, when they came back on a couple of other occasions, they would always wait at the door until I was available.

Whether it is working with German, the rudimentary Spanish or Arabic that I have picked up over the years, or the biblical Greek and biblical Hebrew that I studied in seminary, I have long understood that translating things from one language to another can be challenging at times.  There are times where word or phrases translate easily.  Other times, one has to creatively interpret one idea to another.  Whether we are talking about idiomatic phrases, like ‘making a mountain out of a molehill,’ or translating prose or poetry, it can sometimes be very difficult.

Just as understanding another language can be difficult, understanding a different culture can be just as hard.  One example that I am very familiar with is the differences between American hygiene and typical Middle Eastern or African hygiene.  In most places in the Middle East and in Africa, people bathe regularly, but they do not ‘perfume’ themselves with deodorant, antiperspirant, etc.; whereas, we Americans pride ourselves on how good we smell.

It has been my experience that this ‘pride’ can be very harmful for good interpersonal and international relations.  For example, I had two friends from Africa while at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary.  Because of my prior experiences, I was annoyed by their lack of deodorant, but ‘not offended.’  This was not the case with all of my fellow students.  Many of them, believe it or not, would talk disrespectfully about them when they were not around.  This was only because they ‘smell like us.’  On several occasions, I tried to help my fellow students that, although they bathed regularly, they smelled differently only because they didn’t wear deodorant.  That wasn’t a part of their culture.  Sadly, many of my fellow students didn’t care about ‘cultural differences,’ just that ‘they stink!’ 

One evening, I was in the basement of the dorm cooking my supper.  At least one other fellow student was with me at this time.  After a few minutes, while my back was to the door to the kitchen, I noticed a familiar scent and said, “Good evening ‘Paul,’ here to make supper?”  The other student, from Africa, stopped dead in his tracks next to me and said, “Ray, how did you know it was me?”  I just responded, “Lucky guess?”  In reality, over time, I realized that each of the two men had individual scents.  These different scents were very distinct.  Upon realizing this, I was soon able to recognize when either one of them came into a room.  Well, for me it was very entertaining…

Whenever I preach or do a Bible Study, I make it a point to take time understanding what the particular passage meant in the original language and culture.  Only after grasping a good understanding of how the original audience would have received and understood it do I try to interpret it for modern listeners and/or readers.  Being a person who loves learning and seeks to understand where others come from, this is natural for me.  However, I have realized many years ago that many others do not share this passion.  Therefore I make it a point to help others to understand this.

The point that I am trying to make?  Each of us have our own cultural and regional upbringings that have helped define each of us as we are as a unique person.  Our own life experiences make us unique and different.  And the culture and region that we grow up in help us to further interpret those experiences.  Because different ethnic groups, regions within a country, or even the people of other countries, do things differently, sharing experiences can sometimes be difficult.  Not only because of language barriers, but also because of cultural, ethnical, and/or religious differences.  We all have our set beliefs and biases.  We all have them.  However, to better understand others, we often have to try to understand how others believe, think, and behave.  In doing so, we show them respect for who they are.  Though this can often be challenging, maybe even extremely difficult, we should strive to do so.  Are you up to the challenge?

RC

Playing God

References:

·         Jurassic Park movie info:  https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107290/

·         Jurassic Park franchise Web Page:  http://www.jurassicworld.com/

·         A book list of the original books:  https://www.goodreads.com/series/71966-jurassic-park

·         Quotes for Jurassic Park:  https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/jurassic_park/quotes/

Thoughts and Reflections:

Because it’s been hot lately and since my back has not been up to doing much, my family and I had a movie-thon the last few days.  Instead of the movie-thon being on Star Wars, Harry Potter, or similar movies, the kids wanted to watch the Jurassic Park movies.  In case you are not familiar with the series, there are several books and five movies made, based on the books.  Its an interesting series, really neat special effects, and wrestles with quite a few different topics.

Although things like greed and pride are major parts of the movie, the one that I will focus most on will be the idea of ‘playing god.’  I believe that it is one of the most important themes throughout the entire series.  Other themes, like greed and pride, simply play into it.

Most of you know that we have been working with cloning for many, many years.  We have successfully cloned many different animals, including cows and sheep.  However, we have not resurrected any extinct animals, yet, via cloning.  There are many scientists today who are seeking to bring some animals back from extinction, like the dodo bird, Tasmanian wolf, and several others.  To my knowledge, though, such experiments with bringing extinct animals back to life have not been successful, yet.

In the first movie, Jurassic Park, one of the main characters named John Hammond, has created a huge park and safari with living dinosaurs.  Genetic engineers that Mr. Hammond has employed have harvested dinosaur DNA from the preserved blood from within prehistoric mosquitos, and through various techniques, have successfully cloned them.  Without giving up too much of the plot, let’s just say that because of pride and greed, things go from bad, to worse, to ‘the worst day ever!’ 

One of the main characters, Dr. Ian Malcolm, (who is a mathematician who specializes in the ‘chaos theory,’ makes two very interesting and intriguing comments.  The first one is:  “God makes dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs.  God makes man, man makes dinosaurs, dinosaurs eat man…” and “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.”

Even though it would be incredibly awesome to having living dinosaurs, is it really a wise idea to have it?  Would we be able to coexist with them without one causing great harm to the other?  Would it be ethical to bring them back after they became extinct millions of years ago?  Would bringing the dinosaurs back now create irreparable harm to our environment?  Would the competition between the dinosaurs and other, established animals and fauna, becomes disastrous?  Would you be able to actually keep the dinosaurs on a ‘preserve,’ and keep them healthy?  Would our environment, including temperature, current fauna, oxygen levels, etc., be able to sustain them?

As one watches all of the movie series or reads the books, this major theme continues to be discussed.  And it becomes the most important thing in the movie, Jurassic World.  In this movie, those in charge of the cooperation InGen, which created the dinosaurs throughout the movie series, builds a ‘custom dinosaur.’  The ‘Indominus Rex’ has so many unexpected abilities, not just the ability to test and learn, that it spells certain doom for so many people.  This custom-made dinosaur was created solely because the scientist were told to make something ‘bigger and grander’ than before.  Why? So that more people will come to the theme park of Jurassic World, that the theme park will ‘become relevant again.’  The custom-made dinosaur is named ‘Indominus Rex,’ and because they used DNA from so many different kids of reptiles, it has abilities that no one expected.  This spells disaster for Jurassic World, and causes the deaths of many, many people.

As someone who loves reading, doing art, watching movies, I love creating and seeing what others create.  It is something that I believe that God has blessed us with.  However, when not used wisely and responsibly, our creative powers can be used for great evil.  For example, a person has an awesome idea for creating new product that can impact the lives of many people for the good.  But to do so, this person has to use a lot of resources, find a place to build the product, employ people to figure out how to make it in the best way, refine the process of making it, employ people to make it, etc. 

Some possible things that he or she will have to ask themselves is:  Do I want to buy an unused factory or buy unused fields or pasture land to make it?  How much will I pay people for researching and creating the product?  Will I spend money on safeguards to protect the environment or will I keep the money and hope that I don’t get caught?  Will I consider the cost of living in the area and base my salaries on that, or will I go with what ever is cheapest?  I will use the best materials available to make good, quality products; or will I use cheap products so that I can receive a bigger return?  How much will I charge for the product, and what will I base the price on?

Each of these decisions will have consequences.  Some will be more positive than others.  Some may be very negative.  There will also be short-term and long-term consequences.  Though not every variable can be evaluated, nor every outcome be seen, one still has to seriously think about them.

The decisions that we make with our time, abilities, resources, relationships, etc., say a lot about us as individuals.  We all make decisions based on our individual morals and values, even our religious beliefs.  These decisions will all have consequences, be it positive or negative.  Though people in centuries past have wanted to make decisions without accepting responsibility for negative consequences, I feel that is becoming more and more accepted today.  To want to accept only the positive and none of the negative.  To only get out that which makes me bigger, richer, more influential, etc.  But, if something has negative consequences, we want to blame someone else.  I see this with some of my co-workers, I see this in the lives of many of the Inmates, and I see then with my own children.  It is something I prayerfully try to correct within myself and in my family.  And, where possible, in the lives of those around me.  But, if we all take a little bit of time to evaluate our decisions and how it will impact others, I think we can all make a difference.

RC

Divisiveness

To be honest, I do not watch the news too much anymore.  Years ago, I used to watch it regularly, or at least read the news on the Internet, so that I could keep up with current events.  However, even though keeping up with current events is still important to me, I have a very hard time doing so.  Why, because almost all news outlets have a very specific political agenda that they want to expound upon, so they twist their news that way.  I know that it was always been this way, but it seems that it’s become very much more blatant in the last few years.

You are probably wondering why I feel that most major news outlets are becoming more ‘blatantly political.’  This is my perspective:  Most of the time when I watch to Fox News, CNN, local news, etc., they cover a current event, but then greatly expound on how ‘their side’ (be it conservative or liberal) is right and everyone else is ‘un-American,’ evil,, etc.  A very good example is the recent ‘unrest’ concerning illegal immigrants being separated from their parents.  If you watch CNN, CNBC, or other liberal media outlet, they only focus on ‘how evil it is’ for President Trump to allow the children of illegal immigrants to be separated from their parents. They call all people who want stronger protection measures against people entering American illegally Nazis, totally uncaring, etc.

On the other side of things, many from conservative news outlets, like Fox News, will cover the exact same issue, but call those who are liberal un-American because they want to allow criminals to enter the US and more easily allow children to be used for sex trafficking, mules for bring in drugs, etc.  Though these are valid concerns which I also share, the way they often express these issues are almost as bad as the left, or worse. 

Unfortunately, Facebook is become even more ridiculous when it comes to divisiveness.  At times, I really do feel like closing my Facebook account and being done with it.  So far I have not because Facebook is still good enough outlet for discussing things with friends.  Although tolerating the divisiveness is becoming more difficult.  For starters, I find that I have to not only hide a lot of extremely liberal posts that I do not like, but I also have to hide a lot of mean-spirited conservative posts as well.  Whether it is on the issue of gun control vs. 2^nd Amendment, abortion vs. Pro-Life, immigration issues, etc., I end up hiding at least half of the topics because of being divisive and mean-spirited.

I admit, I do not ‘toe the line’ when it comes to conservative values.  I have always held to my own moral and religious beliefs and endorse those that best parallel what I believe.  One of the main reasons why I was disliked by many of my seminary professors and fellow students was because I did not accept their viewpoints as totally valid, but did my own research and maintained my core beliefs.  That is one of the main reasons why I am not a minister in the Presbyterian Church (USA).  I do not just accept doctrine, but analyze it, compare it to what Scripture clearly says (including linguistical issues, history, and cultural context), and come to my own conclusions.  While many have respected me for my beliefs and willingness to challenge other ideas, many other have not.

I do enjoy a good discussion on issues, and I do enjoy hear other view points and learning as much as I can.  Just because I don’t agree with someone else’s perspective doesn’t mean I can’t respect its importance to that person.  Sadly, many people are of the opinion that if I don’t agree with then and endorse their opinions on whatever subject, I am somehow evil, un-Christian, un-American, what have you…  Sorry, but I cannot and will not tolerate that kind of attitude. 

Just today I had to ‘un-friend’ a person that I have known for decades.  Almost every time I discussed an issue, the immigration issues being the most recent one, he repeatedly looked down at me for my beliefs.  I definitely do believe in allowing people to immigrate to America.  My biological mother’s side were ethnic Germans who had initially emigrated from Germany to southern Russia (in what is now the Ukraine), but later had to emigrate to America in the 1880’s due to the ‘re-Russification’ of Russia.  My wife is a second generation Irish-American, and very proud of it.  Thing is, both her family and mine went through the process of coming here legally, become US citizens, and contributing productively to our new home and communities.

In my opinion, it is more important to take care of our domestic problems that it is to take care of those who come here illegally.  For example, I share two different memes on Facebook about the importance of taking care of the children of US citizens who live in poverty, American homeless Veterans, as well as our own senior citizens who have worked as productive citizens and have earned the privilege of retiring and living comfortably.  To me, taking care of our own needy have a much higher priority than those who come here illegally.  While we have a moral right to take care of those in distress with their immediate needs for food, medication, and shelter, I do not believe we have a moral obligation to take care of them for a long period of time.  And, if they want to come here illegally and/or have a criminal background, then I believe they should be sent right back to where they came from.

Although others have the perfect right to disagree with what I believe, that does not give the person the right to be grossly disrespectful.  Being told that I am ‘un-Christian’ because I do not believe that illegal immigrants need to be just blindly allowed into our country is just plain wrong.  That would be the same thing if I accused him of being ‘un-Christian’ and a ‘Nazi’ for not wanting to put our citizens first.  This isn’t the first time that this particular person has attacked me for my beliefs, but it is the last time.

Years ago, it was the norm to discuss different issues without name calling, making personal attacks, being inflammatory in our own responses, etc.  While there were exceptions to this, there was a lot more civility with most of political and religious discussion while I was growing up.  Now, people easily become enraged when others disagree with them on political issues. 

I really wonder if people really think before they post something on Facebook or write something for the news.  At this times, it seems like more and more people blindly write and post things that are purposely inflammatory.  Why?  I don’t know.  Maybe it makes them feel stronger posting such things.  Maybe they are so engrossed with their personally religious and political stances that they don’t think about how others might perceive it.  I don’t know.

What I do know is that I go out of my way to be as civil and respectful as possible.  To that end, I seek to share things that are disrespectful and mean spirited in nature.  While I know that somebody will always be offended by what I say or share.  However, I seek to be as respectful as possible.  I also seek to remove/hide all uncivil posts on my Facebook wall as I can.  I am also commenting less and less on such things because too many people are able to have civil discussions.

I believe that if all of us take a little more time and think before we act or say something, we can all do a better job.  In fact, we all take a little more time to encourage each other, to pray for each other (according our own individual faith practices) and respect other’s beliefs, we can make this world a better place for others.

RC

Some Civil War Reflections

References:

• ·         The Battle of Gettysburg (https://www.history.com/topics/american-civil-war/battle-of-gettysburg)
• ·         Gettysburg (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107007/)
• ·         Ken Burns ‘The Civil War’ (http://www.pbs.org/kenburns/civil-war/)
• ·         Lincoln (2012) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443272/)

Thoughts and reflections…

For those that know me, this will probably not surprise you much.  Fellow INFJs will probably not be surprised, either.  But, as I write this blog entry, I am currently listening to music from the Civil War period.  Yes, I do often really immerse myself into something that greatly interests me.  And, since I am researching things to do on our ‘Learning Vacation’ next year, I am really immersing myself.  And yes, I am very much enjoying it!

Throughout my 40+ years of life, I have worked as a pastor (paid and volunteer roles), been a soldier, worked both law enforcement and corrections, and have visited many different places in Europe and the Middle East.  I have not seen nearly as much as I want to, but I still have seen more than many have.  All of these experiences have deeply enriched my life, even if I did not want some of them.

For example, as a pastor and as Custody Staff at the prison I currently work at, I seek to give people the tools that they need in order to become better people.  Sometimes I am able to engage in very deep and thoughtful conversations.  Other times, I have to spoon-feed people in very basics.  This is true while doing ministry and while working at the prison.  Think that is odd?  I have seen people, while going through very difficult struggles, expose the deep ugliness in their hearts in both places.  As well as see the goodness that they might be trying to hide under their harsh exterior.  This may be surprising to some, even shocking.  Others may be smiling and nodding, having ‘been there and done that…’

I’ve been in the US Army since 2001, working Military Intelligence, Military Police, and several other minor roles.  Having been an Airborne paratrooper with the 82^nd Airborne Division during my first deployment in 2003-04, I have been in harm’s way on numerous occasions.  While serving overseas, I have not been in direct combat, but I have been literately on the edge.  I’ve had rockets explode a block or so from where I was sleeping, I’ve had several vehicle-borne explosives (car bombs) detonate close enough that I very clearly felt the concussion against my whole body, heard the deafening roar of the explosion.  Been ‘on the wall’ at one point of a compound and see tracers about a block away from me go back and forth across the street.  A furious firefight maybe a football field away from my position.

Though I have been blessed with not being actual combat while deployed, I still have lots of experience with dealing with prison violence.  I have been one of the first responders, responding to a fight on many occasions, many of which were fairly bloody.  I have responded to several attempted, and at least one successful suicide attempts.  Many Inmates have come at me in a threatening manner, actively restrained one Inmate attempted to assault another co-worker, had Inmates piss on me, had fecal matter thrown at me…  I’ve had my share of experiences…

And, many of my experiences grossly pale compared to those of others.  I have talked with several people who have seen actual combat.  I have watched numerous movies and documentaries on battles, homicides, etc.  Just like all of my experiences have molded me into the person that I am, I see how the experiences of others have greatly affected them.  Some have learned how to deal with it, some struggle after decades.

To help with my preparations for the ‘Learning Vacation,’ I am watching Ken Burns ‘The Civil War’ (on Netflix) and the movie ‘Gettysburg’ (we own the DVD).  About two weeks ago, we watched the movie ‘Lincoln’ on Netflix.  Each of these films/series have been extremely informative on what the Civil War was all about.  It wasn’t just about State Rights vs. Federal Rights, nor just about Slavery vs. Freedom.  Many people, not just President Lincoln, greatly wrestled with how to do things, whom to trust, what the likely consequences might be, etc.

My son, who is most likely an INFJ like me, absolutely loved watching Lincoln (2012) a few weeks ago.  Since it is not an action movie, but a biography, drama, history movie, I was very impressed with how attentively he watched it.  It is believed by many that President Lincoln was an INFJ, and I believed that they captured that extremely well in the movie.  Not just his quietness and reflective nature, but also how he was able to ‘connect the dots’ more easily than others, be able to evaluate things from different and even opposing perspectives, etc.  Loved it!

Like anyone who has gone through high school and college, I took quite a few classes on the American Civil War.  I though that I had learned a lot.  However, I am realizing just how much I can still learn about that whole experience.  Although slavery and abolitionism have a lot to do with the Civil War, they have their own rich and incredible history.  Are you familiar with William Wilberforce?  If not, I highly recommend looking up that particular English abolitionist.  I have learned some about him and John Newton, former slave trader turned preacher and abolitionist.  Incredible, incredible stories!

After I finish watching this blog entry, I will finish watching Gettysburg with my kids.  After that, I might read some more on Frederick Douglas, or I might try to work on my on-line Army class that I am trying to finish.  I haven’t decided yet.  On top of that, I still have to finish getting ready for work tomorrow.  Lots and lots to do.

I do highly encourage you to read more about Frederick Douglas, William Wilberforce, John Newton, and others like them.  Even if you might not agree with their theological perspectives (I am not sure about Douglas, but Wilberforce and Newton were very devote Christians), there is still a lot that you can learn from their experiences and hardships.

RC

It's a Pain

Scripture References:
• James 1:1-6 NAS
• Matthew 6:25-34 NAS

Thoughts…
As of late, I have been dealing with two significant ‘challengers’ in my life. One being the place that I work at. It is not where I want to work, but as of right now, it is where God is insisting that I stay. The other is chronic lower back pain. And, right now, dealing with both has been fairly difficult. Because of this, these two verses are difficult for me to swallow.

For those who know me in real life, or have been following me for a while, you know that I work at a maximum-security state prison here in Nebraska. I started at this particular prison in January of 2006, left my job in corrections in 2011 to pursue a dream career as a pastor, and when that fell through in 2012, returned to the same prison in 2013. So, I am going on over 10.5 years working as custody staff at this prison.

Although I do my job well, it is not a job that I enjoy doing. Being a strong introvert and an empath, my job is extremely draining physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Due to severe staffing problems, we are working 12-hour shifts, four days a week. Even with a lot of help coming in from another prison, we can barely staff all of the required posts. If that weren’t a problem, it is now going to get more difficult.

Evidently, there are a few people who work at my prison that really, really want to return to 8-hr shifts. So, our union, Nebraska Association of Public Local 61 (NAPE) took the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services and essentially forced us to return to 8-hr shifts. The official date of this return will be the 25th of this month. But, as I said, we do not have the staffing for 12-hr shifts, let alone 3x 8-hr shifts!

Several years ago, in June and July of 2013, we started getting hit with being mandatoried 2-3 times a week. And, since I worked 1400-2200 (2 PM to 10 PM), I would usually get stuck with having to do a whole 16-hour day. And, this lasted at least 6 very, long, weeks! This time around, I fear that it will be even worse with overtime. Back in 2013, our institution had more than 70% seasoned staff (5 years or more of experience). We all knew that it was just a ‘swing of the pendulum, and we lost only a handful of people. This time around, with maybe 20-30% seasoned staff, I am very worried about how many people we may potentially loose.

And, of course, the Inmates are going to see all of us being highly stressed, sleep deprived, low moral, etc. Based on my experience and my intuition, I am expecting things to get really, really bad in the next few months. I know that my intuition is not always right, and I really hope that I am way off this time. I really, really hope that I am wrong about this.

Now, on top of that, I deal with chronic lower back pain. This past May, I celebrated 17 years in the US Army. I started off Active Duty in 2001, but then switched to the Nebraska National Guard in the spring of 2005. Although I sprained both of my ankles numerous times, got a concussion during my first training jump at Airborne school in 2002, and twisted my right knee at least once, things seemed to be going well for me health-wise. But, after my third deployment to Iraq in 2010, I was diagnosed with asthma. Since it was well controlled by medication and I could still run, I didn’t think much of it. Then, fast-forward to 2015, during fourth (and last) deployment. This time, however, I was deployed to Qatar. During this deployment, I started having severe lower back pain. In fact, the first time that I went to sick-call and was on quarters (had to say in my ‘room’), I reached a ‘new 10’ on the pain scale. Keep in my, I have had severe pneumonia, a bad concussion, and a broken arm in my lifetime.

So now, I have to take strong pain medication on a regular basis, and get injections into my lower back, just so that I can function most days. Don’t get me wrong… I am very thankful that things are not so bad that I have had to have surgery. I definitely do not want to have that! However, there are times where I have a lot of difficulty doing everyday things because of the pain; let alone, do my job at work. It has been almost 3 whole years since my chronic lower back pain started.

Scripture can be a very difficult pill to swallow, especially when you are going through very difficult time. ‘Keep it all joy…’ James writes. Rejoice with chronic back pain? Rejoice about a job that you dislike most days, hate on a regular basis, and leaves you so drained emotionally, spiritually, and physically that you can’t do things with your family half the time?! Yeah… That’s a very bitter pill for me to take, on a daily basis. Needless to say, many of my prayers have been very blunt and with very harsh language.

But, there is one thing that does help me deal with all of this, some times. And, that’s reading about the persecuted church in many of the other nations throughout the world (The Open Doors USA is a very good place to start). From the few stories that I have read over the years, my hardest days are often easy compared to some of the things that other fellow Christians have to endure. I guess it’s a matter of perspective… I don’t know… And, it is sometimes very difficult to deal with.

Different Thoughts

I know that I have not been posting very much lately. Other priorities have taken precedence most of the time. There were times where I was contemplating something to write. But, unfortunately, I was not able to write them down. The good thing, though, is that I still have some floating around in my mind. I just have to work on 'flushing them out.'

One of the things that has occurred to me is to be thankful that I do have a job. A close friend of mine from seminary has found himself in a difficult position due to unemployment. For those of you out there who have been unemployed, especially while trying to support a family, you understand how painful and stressful it can be.

A few years ago, my wife and I found ourselves is such a situation. It was a very difficult time for all of us. Although we receive some financial help from the state, it was barely enough to cover food, gas, and a few of our bills. We were in a difficult situation financially, and it only got worse. God provided, but it seemed to be not nearly enough for us.

Eventually, God reopened the door to the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) for me. Once again, I found myself working as Custody Staff at the same prison that I worked at a few years prior. Because of the length of time since leaving for a deployment and returning to work with NDCS, I was required to attend the Staff Training Academy (STA) again. I had done well going through it the first time, and it was even easier the second time through. Although I was not excited about doing this kind of work again, I already very family with the things that I would be doing. Needless to say, I was very popular with the other students!

Now, as many of you know from prior blog entries, the Department of Corrections is not what I would prefer to do. It is sometimes (often really) very taxing on my mentally and spiritually. I have to deal with some very evil people, and with professionalism and tact. It is very hard!

But, in spite of challenging this job is, it does have very good job security. And, that is also very unfortunate. It is such a necessary job that I don’t have to work about being laid off. And, the pay is fairly good. I earn a living wage to support a family of 4, with enough left over to do things like vacations, spontaneous road trips, etc.

I will admit, it is sometimes very hard to be thankful for this job. After working 4x 12 hour shifts with very demanding Inmates, I feel exceptionally drained. Being a high sensing introvert, such things have a high impact on me. It often takes at least 1 full day of ‘recharging’ and ‘introverting’ for me to do a lot of things with the family, do on-line courses, etc. I often find myself needing to choose to be thankful, to make that conscious choice. And, there are days where I ‘fake it until I make it.’ That’s just the nature of my life. I do not like it, but I prayerfully seek to do it.

There are many outlets that I have to help deal with such things. On many a long day, I will come up, grab something to eat, and then watch various YouTube videos so that I can relax and recharge. I will sometimes read, go for a walk, or do some art work. Writing on this blog is another way that I decompress and relax.

All of us have to deal with stress in our lives. All of us have to deal with difficult situations, sometimes on a daily basis. Whether we like it or not, stress and difficult situations are a natural part of life. So, we might as well plan on dealing with them.

All of us develop ‘coping methods,’ or ways that we deal with situations. Some turn to drugs, some turn to pornography, some turn to playing computer or on-line games, or something else so as to avoid dealing with problems. These are examples of negative coping skills. While they may feel good at the time and help you to (at least temporarily) avoid dealing with something, the problems do not go away. And, when one uses these poor coping skills, you heap on more problems, often causing things to start spiraling totally out of control. Eventually, whether each of us wants to or not, we have to confront these problems.

Whether you feel like you are on top of the work, feel like you are in the worst place of hell, or some place in between, God is still there to help you. Though you may not like the direction that God is leading you, there is a reason behind it. Sometimes we suffer simply as a direct consequence of our bad choices. Sometimes it’s because of someone else’s negative choices. Sometimes, God may want us to go through times of testing in order to prepare us for something else. I often hate going through it at the time. But, I have often been able to look back and see how God has prepared me for something else because of what I had endured prior.

We all of the accept the consequences of our choices, be it positive or negative. We all have to choose how we deal with situations that are out of our control. Many times we find ourselves, or a loved in, in a very bad place with little or no warning. And, it may be of no consequence of our own (or their) choices. However, we can choose the attitude that we will have while enduring them.

Life is full of many different experiences. I often wonder why God has me where I am at. It is often very painful, or at the very least, very uncomfortable. But, it is where God has brought me. Each of you are where you are at, and God has a plan for you. I wrestle with God regularly with where I am and what is going on. And, I prayerfully try to be obedient. How about you? May God’s grace and love help you through.

Dealing with Evil Hearts

References:
• June 23 article on Wis. Youth facility
• June 24 article on Wis. Youth facility

I read the first article concerning the Wisconsin youth facility, writing on June 23, 2017, a few days ago. Having worked in corrections for almost 10 years now, I was both concerned about how the Inmates were being treated and alarmed about how others who have no clue what our job is like (like the lawyers of the ACLU) want to make our job more dangerous. While looking the first article up, I found the second one, which was written on the next day (written on June 24, 2017). That make me a bit more upset.

I started working for the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) in January of 2006. I briefly left in 2011 in order to pursue a ministry career. When that fell through, God reopened the same position (custody staff) with the NDCS. I have been with them ever since.

To be honest, it is a very difficult job, fraught with great risks. There can be great rewards as one sees lives changed. But, many choose to not change, in spite of all of the opportunities and programs that they are given. While I have only worked at a men’s facility, I have talked with several co-workers who work in the youth facility here in Nebraska. From the conversations that I have had with them over the years, they face many of the same challenges that we do. That is, they deal with Inmates that are often just as manipulative and physically dangerous as those that I deal with. And, being teenagers, they have a higher tendency to lash out than adults because of the fact that they do not have the same impulse control as some adult Inmates do. Though some of the youth may not be as physically strong as an adult, they are often in better shape due to their age. This is especially so with those of us who are over 40 years old and work in corrections.

Some people go to prison because they made one mistake and they were caught. Other have made living out of committing crimes. For those who have made it a lifestyle out of committing crime, who have anger issues, have had drug and/or alcohol abuse issues, etc., those of us who represent law and order become their targets. As anyone who has spent time working in a jail or prison, we have to be constantly aware of our surroundings, because of the dangerous people that we deal with.

Most of us who work in corrections genuinely care about others and want to help them make good changes in their lives. That is our goal. Those who want to work in Corrections (or any other Law Enforcement position) because of having power over others usually do not last very long. Such people either get fired from their job, get shunned by those of us who do care enough that they choose to leave (I personally have no tolerance for such people), or they become the focus of the Inmates’ ire and are assaulted. In the case of the latter, when such staff member realizes that they no longer have the power over others that they crave, they leave for ‘greener pastures.’

Don’t get me wrong, there are staff who are cruel and vindictive people who stay within Corrections. However, they are a very small minority. Just like in the military, Law Enforcement, working in the health care system, such people rarely last very long before they are forced out, choose to leave, or are seriously injured or killed.

One of the things that I am proud about with my training with NDCS is how it has adapted over the years concerning Inmate control that is safe and humane. Our primary always has been and always will be our interpersonal skills. The better training Corrections Professionals (including Custody Staff, Unit Staff, administration and support staff, etc.) have in de-escalation, the safer everyone is. However, de-escalation does not always work. For Inmates who have either lost control of their ability to reason (due to anger issues, currently being under the influence of a drug or alcohol, a vindictive/anti-social attitude, etc.), other means of maintaining control have to be used. That is how life is for us.

The wonderful thing about using pepper spray (or similar item) is that it does not cause long-term medical problems, are temporary, and usually cause the Inmate to surrender so that little to no physical force has to be used. When little to no physical force has to be used, it is a win-win situation. Why is that? Because neither staff nor the Inmate receive physical injuries.

In the training that I have received with the Nebraska National Guard as a MP, as well as with NDCS, I had to be exposed to the same chemical agents that we use. That way, not only do we know that we can work, in spite of the agents, but we also know how it affects the Inmate. Any time we have to use chemicals in order to gain control of an aggressive Inmate, we get exposed too. It sucks for them, and it sucks for us.

As I have contemplated the articles that I read, I have to wonder… Is the issue with the staff with how they use force, or is it with the Inmates trying to use the legal system to remove effective tools from the staff? Think of it this way… If two Inmates are fighting are determined to cause serious bodily injury to the other, do you think that they will stop fighting with three, four, or more staff show up? Youth or adult it doesn’t matter. Such Inmates who genuinely want to cause serious bodily injury to the other won’t just stop fighting when staff show up. Physical force will have to be used. Now, do you want to try and restrain a person who is very angry and wants to injure others with just physical strength? I don’t if I absolutely do not have to. If I can use chemical agents so that they decide to stop fighting, then it becomes much safer to intervene.

Restraints, restrictive housing, and chemicals are all tools that we in Corrections use to maintain control and keep ourselves and other Inmates safe. Having good training with the proper use of such things, good training with verbal de-escalation skills, clear guidance with how they should be applied, good programs available to give Inmates tools to more effectively deal with life, stress, anger, etc., those are things that keep all of us safe. Taking such tools away from us so that we are more likely to have to use physical force to stop dangerous behavior (to us, to other Inmates, to the public, and to the Inmate him/herself), that puts all of us in a more dangerous situation.

There is something else that I have often wondered… Those who are trying to champion Inmates by taking away effective tools from staff, do they have any clue as to how dangerous of a job that we have? I very seriously doubt it. All that they know is what the Inmate tells them. And, whenever a lawyer from the ACLU talks with an Inmate, it is always from the perspective as a lawyer for brief periods of time. Just like with the clergy that visit Inmates, their friends and family when they visit, lawyers and the media, they only see the mask that most of them put on for them. They do not see the day-to-day decisions, attitudes, etc., that we see on a daily basis.

I am all for programming to help those who are incarcerated to gain tools to change their lives. However, they will want to have to change. Just because they are given tools does not mean that it will make them make better choices. It may take time for the change to come, or it may never come. But, when good programming is available, then access to the tools for positive changes are there. But, there will always be those who will not change. For those who take a long time to change, if at all, staff have to have the tools necessary to keep everyone safer. Not all tools will work. There is always a high risk for injury or death at a prison, for staff and other Inmates. It will always be that way. But, the betters that staff have, and better programming for Inmates, the less the change for danger and the better the chances for everyone staying healthy and alive.

One last thought… For those who like to champion the “poor and abused” Inmates, here’s a radical thought. Why don’t you actually spend a few years working in Corrections. Not on the premise of, “oh, I am a lawyer but I want to see how things are for a little while.” If you take such an approach, you will see the façade that they give to the public and not see the darkness in their hearts. Have the mindset that you will ‘set the lawyer’ aside and ONLY work as a Corrections Professional. Go through our training, deal with the angry outburst (over legitimate things, and ridiculous ones), be on our uses of force, see them without their masks as they interact with other Inmates and with staff. If you want me to take your advice seriously, then you need to understand just how dangerous my job is.

In the almost ten years, I have seen many Inmates seek to make positive changes in their lives. For some, it took many years for the seeds of change to take root and to grow. For some others, the change came more quickly. For many others, it has not come at all. When you have all three mixed together, you have the high potential for great danger. To them and to staff. That is the nature of our job as Corrections Professionals. Enable us to do our job better, not make it harder. There are some staff that I enjoy working with more than others. No matter what, I want all of us to be able to go home to our friends and family safely each night (or morning if you work the night shift). We all have loved ones that want us to come home safely each night. Helps us to do our jobs better and more safely, not make it more dangerous.