Different Thoughts

I know that I have not been posting very much lately. Other priorities have taken precedence most of the time. There were times where I was contemplating something to write. But, unfortunately, I was not able to write them down. The good thing, though, is that I still have some floating around in my mind. I just have to work on 'flushing them out.'

One of the things that has occurred to me is to be thankful that I do have a job. A close friend of mine from seminary has found himself in a difficult position due to unemployment. For those of you out there who have been unemployed, especially while trying to support a family, you understand how painful and stressful it can be.

A few years ago, my wife and I found ourselves is such a situation. It was a very difficult time for all of us. Although we receive some financial help from the state, it was barely enough to cover food, gas, and a few of our bills. We were in a difficult situation financially, and it only got worse. God provided, but it seemed to be not nearly enough for us.

Eventually, God reopened the door to the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) for me. Once again, I found myself working as Custody Staff at the same prison that I worked at a few years prior. Because of the length of time since leaving for a deployment and returning to work with NDCS, I was required to attend the Staff Training Academy (STA) again. I had done well going through it the first time, and it was even easier the second time through. Although I was not excited about doing this kind of work again, I already very family with the things that I would be doing. Needless to say, I was very popular with the other students!

Now, as many of you know from prior blog entries, the Department of Corrections is not what I would prefer to do. It is sometimes (often really) very taxing on my mentally and spiritually. I have to deal with some very evil people, and with professionalism and tact. It is very hard!

But, in spite of challenging this job is, it does have very good job security. And, that is also very unfortunate. It is such a necessary job that I don’t have to work about being laid off. And, the pay is fairly good. I earn a living wage to support a family of 4, with enough left over to do things like vacations, spontaneous road trips, etc.

I will admit, it is sometimes very hard to be thankful for this job. After working 4x 12 hour shifts with very demanding Inmates, I feel exceptionally drained. Being a high sensing introvert, such things have a high impact on me. It often takes at least 1 full day of ‘recharging’ and ‘introverting’ for me to do a lot of things with the family, do on-line courses, etc. I often find myself needing to choose to be thankful, to make that conscious choice. And, there are days where I ‘fake it until I make it.’ That’s just the nature of my life. I do not like it, but I prayerfully seek to do it.

There are many outlets that I have to help deal with such things. On many a long day, I will come up, grab something to eat, and then watch various YouTube videos so that I can relax and recharge. I will sometimes read, go for a walk, or do some art work. Writing on this blog is another way that I decompress and relax.

All of us have to deal with stress in our lives. All of us have to deal with difficult situations, sometimes on a daily basis. Whether we like it or not, stress and difficult situations are a natural part of life. So, we might as well plan on dealing with them.

All of us develop ‘coping methods,’ or ways that we deal with situations. Some turn to drugs, some turn to pornography, some turn to playing computer or on-line games, or something else so as to avoid dealing with problems. These are examples of negative coping skills. While they may feel good at the time and help you to (at least temporarily) avoid dealing with something, the problems do not go away. And, when one uses these poor coping skills, you heap on more problems, often causing things to start spiraling totally out of control. Eventually, whether each of us wants to or not, we have to confront these problems.

Whether you feel like you are on top of the work, feel like you are in the worst place of hell, or some place in between, God is still there to help you. Though you may not like the direction that God is leading you, there is a reason behind it. Sometimes we suffer simply as a direct consequence of our bad choices. Sometimes it’s because of someone else’s negative choices. Sometimes, God may want us to go through times of testing in order to prepare us for something else. I often hate going through it at the time. But, I have often been able to look back and see how God has prepared me for something else because of what I had endured prior.

We all of the accept the consequences of our choices, be it positive or negative. We all have to choose how we deal with situations that are out of our control. Many times we find ourselves, or a loved in, in a very bad place with little or no warning. And, it may be of no consequence of our own (or their) choices. However, we can choose the attitude that we will have while enduring them.

Life is full of many different experiences. I often wonder why God has me where I am at. It is often very painful, or at the very least, very uncomfortable. But, it is where God has brought me. Each of you are where you are at, and God has a plan for you. I wrestle with God regularly with where I am and what is going on. And, I prayerfully try to be obedient. How about you? May God’s grace and love help you through.