A Quick Update

Hello, Everyone!

I know that it has been quite a while since I have made a post of any kind here.  Part of it has been the challenges with balancing work and family life, and part of it has been the fact that I have felt little inspiration with what to write.  

Although work at the prison has often been frustrating, there have been some good days.  I have been an acting Case Worker on several different galleries at least twelve times since October 31th.  Although it has been challenging at times, it has also been very rewarding for me.  Working as an acting Case Worker has come a lot more naturally for me, and has felt a lot less emotionally and spiritually draining to me.  Instead of almost always coming home tired, exhausted, and even angry because of work, I have come home tired by at least content.

Part of the reason why I have volunteered to be an acting Case Worker is for a change of pace, but also to help me with applying for Case Manager.  For those who might not be familiar with what a Case Manager does within a prison, so I will try to quickly explain it.  A Case Manager deals with an Inmate's programming, classification, with where they can live, with conducting Unit Disciplinary hearings (for minor rule breakage), etc.  

Several months ago, I applied for Case Manager for the prison that I work at, and at another one.  The feedback that I received from four different people, two at each institution amounted to:  "Your answers were exactly what we were looking for," "You did a very good interview," and "Please, do apply again when the job re-opens in the future."  In one case, I missed the point cutoff by only two points.  The significant part for me was the fact that I had no Unit experience at that point, only Custody Staff experience.  While there is some overlap in what we do, especially in security and safety, the actual role is a bit different.

Well, I did re-apply for this position at the same two institutions as I had a few months ago.  This time, though, I had a lot more confidence in my answers that I gave them.  Although many of the questions were the same, there were some different ones.  But, I was able to successfully answer their questions.  And, based on the feedback that I observed, I seemed to have impressed the two interview boards as much as, or even more than last time.

I should know by the end of this week for one institution and maybe at the beginning of next week for the other.  Although I have been looking at transferring to another institution, I have come to the conclusion that it would probably be better to continue working at my current place of employment.

Not only have I build a positive relationship with staff, but also a very positive rapport with the Inmates.  What’s also very interesting is that most of the Inmates that I have worked with as an acting Case Worker seem to have made a successful transition from me being in a Custody Staff role to being in a Unit Staff role.  This has really helped me with getting things done.  Because of this rapport, it would probably help to stay at my current institution.  Although some Inmates might have a different time adjusting to my new role, I think that many of them will not.

For those know me well in real life, or have followed me for quite a while, you know how much I have not liked my job as Custody Staff.  Although I can do that job very well, it is a role that brings little satisfaction to me.  And, as an INFJ, job satisfaction is extremely, extremely important.  Without significant job satisfaction, I feel miserable.  However, the impression that I have that, as a Case Manager, I would be utilizing my natural gifts and ministry training, which would lead to significant job satisfaction.  If being a Case Manager is anything like being an acting Religious Coordinator (which I did several years ago), even a bad, extremely hectic day will give me significant satisfaction.

Other news…  My daughter was officially diagnosed with having Influenza A.  My wife had a brief flare-up.  And, since I have been taking care of her for several days since she first came down with it Monday, my temperature has peaked at about 100.6 F.  So, no work for me tomorrow.  I have noticed that God has graced me with a very strong immune system.  Over the years, I have noticed that what ever bug my family gets, I will often get.  However, the time that I am actually sick is about half of long they were sick.  So, it doesn’t surprise me that my temperature spiked this afternoon.  But, I should be back to normal temperature tomorrow and back to work on Friday.  As long as our son doesn’t get sick, the bug should be out of our systems well before Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas…  We will be celebrating Christmas here in Nebraska next week.  Since my wife works as a teacher’s aide, she will have the next few weeks off.  I, on the other hand will have to work.  However, due to the days off that I have, I will be home for this Christmas.  That is something that we are really looking forward to.

With wherever you are, I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas and a blessed New Year.  I will try to write at least once more before Christmas and the New Years, but I can’t guarantee it.

In Christ,

RC

Divisiveness

To be honest, I do not watch the news too much anymore.  Years ago, I used to watch it regularly, or at least read the news on the Internet, so that I could keep up with current events.  However, even though keeping up with current events is still important to me, I have a very hard time doing so.  Why, because almost all news outlets have a very specific political agenda that they want to expound upon, so they twist their news that way.  I know that it was always been this way, but it seems that it’s become very much more blatant in the last few years.

You are probably wondering why I feel that most major news outlets are becoming more ‘blatantly political.’  This is my perspective:  Most of the time when I watch to Fox News, CNN, local news, etc., they cover a current event, but then greatly expound on how ‘their side’ (be it conservative or liberal) is right and everyone else is ‘un-American,’ evil,, etc.  A very good example is the recent ‘unrest’ concerning illegal immigrants being separated from their parents.  If you watch CNN, CNBC, or other liberal media outlet, they only focus on ‘how evil it is’ for President Trump to allow the children of illegal immigrants to be separated from their parents. They call all people who want stronger protection measures against people entering American illegally Nazis, totally uncaring, etc.

On the other side of things, many from conservative news outlets, like Fox News, will cover the exact same issue, but call those who are liberal un-American because they want to allow criminals to enter the US and more easily allow children to be used for sex trafficking, mules for bring in drugs, etc.  Though these are valid concerns which I also share, the way they often express these issues are almost as bad as the left, or worse. 

Unfortunately, Facebook is become even more ridiculous when it comes to divisiveness.  At times, I really do feel like closing my Facebook account and being done with it.  So far I have not because Facebook is still good enough outlet for discussing things with friends.  Although tolerating the divisiveness is becoming more difficult.  For starters, I find that I have to not only hide a lot of extremely liberal posts that I do not like, but I also have to hide a lot of mean-spirited conservative posts as well.  Whether it is on the issue of gun control vs. 2^nd Amendment, abortion vs. Pro-Life, immigration issues, etc., I end up hiding at least half of the topics because of being divisive and mean-spirited.

I admit, I do not ‘toe the line’ when it comes to conservative values.  I have always held to my own moral and religious beliefs and endorse those that best parallel what I believe.  One of the main reasons why I was disliked by many of my seminary professors and fellow students was because I did not accept their viewpoints as totally valid, but did my own research and maintained my core beliefs.  That is one of the main reasons why I am not a minister in the Presbyterian Church (USA).  I do not just accept doctrine, but analyze it, compare it to what Scripture clearly says (including linguistical issues, history, and cultural context), and come to my own conclusions.  While many have respected me for my beliefs and willingness to challenge other ideas, many other have not.

I do enjoy a good discussion on issues, and I do enjoy hear other view points and learning as much as I can.  Just because I don’t agree with someone else’s perspective doesn’t mean I can’t respect its importance to that person.  Sadly, many people are of the opinion that if I don’t agree with then and endorse their opinions on whatever subject, I am somehow evil, un-Christian, un-American, what have you…  Sorry, but I cannot and will not tolerate that kind of attitude. 

Just today I had to ‘un-friend’ a person that I have known for decades.  Almost every time I discussed an issue, the immigration issues being the most recent one, he repeatedly looked down at me for my beliefs.  I definitely do believe in allowing people to immigrate to America.  My biological mother’s side were ethnic Germans who had initially emigrated from Germany to southern Russia (in what is now the Ukraine), but later had to emigrate to America in the 1880’s due to the ‘re-Russification’ of Russia.  My wife is a second generation Irish-American, and very proud of it.  Thing is, both her family and mine went through the process of coming here legally, become US citizens, and contributing productively to our new home and communities.

In my opinion, it is more important to take care of our domestic problems that it is to take care of those who come here illegally.  For example, I share two different memes on Facebook about the importance of taking care of the children of US citizens who live in poverty, American homeless Veterans, as well as our own senior citizens who have worked as productive citizens and have earned the privilege of retiring and living comfortably.  To me, taking care of our own needy have a much higher priority than those who come here illegally.  While we have a moral right to take care of those in distress with their immediate needs for food, medication, and shelter, I do not believe we have a moral obligation to take care of them for a long period of time.  And, if they want to come here illegally and/or have a criminal background, then I believe they should be sent right back to where they came from.

Although others have the perfect right to disagree with what I believe, that does not give the person the right to be grossly disrespectful.  Being told that I am ‘un-Christian’ because I do not believe that illegal immigrants need to be just blindly allowed into our country is just plain wrong.  That would be the same thing if I accused him of being ‘un-Christian’ and a ‘Nazi’ for not wanting to put our citizens first.  This isn’t the first time that this particular person has attacked me for my beliefs, but it is the last time.

Years ago, it was the norm to discuss different issues without name calling, making personal attacks, being inflammatory in our own responses, etc.  While there were exceptions to this, there was a lot more civility with most of political and religious discussion while I was growing up.  Now, people easily become enraged when others disagree with them on political issues. 

I really wonder if people really think before they post something on Facebook or write something for the news.  At this times, it seems like more and more people blindly write and post things that are purposely inflammatory.  Why?  I don’t know.  Maybe it makes them feel stronger posting such things.  Maybe they are so engrossed with their personally religious and political stances that they don’t think about how others might perceive it.  I don’t know.

What I do know is that I go out of my way to be as civil and respectful as possible.  To that end, I seek to share things that are disrespectful and mean spirited in nature.  While I know that somebody will always be offended by what I say or share.  However, I seek to be as respectful as possible.  I also seek to remove/hide all uncivil posts on my Facebook wall as I can.  I am also commenting less and less on such things because too many people are able to have civil discussions.

I believe that if all of us take a little more time and think before we act or say something, we can all do a better job.  In fact, we all take a little more time to encourage each other, to pray for each other (according our own individual faith practices) and respect other’s beliefs, we can make this world a better place for others.

RC

Ministering to a Divided Nation

References:

•           ESSENTIAL CIVIL WAR CURRICULUM Chaplains in the Civil War, by Richard G. Williams, Jr. (http://www.essentialcivilwarcurriculum.com/chaplains-in-the-civil-war.html)
•          Faith on the Firing Line, Army Chaplains in the Civil War (https://www.archives.gov/publications/prologue/2016/spring/chaplains.html)

·         Article with numerous pictures from The Chaplain Kit (https://thechaplainkit.com/chaplains/19th-century-wars/civil-war/)

·         Jewish Chaplains in the Civil War (https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/jewish-chaplains-in-the-civil-war/)

·         Site from Find A Grave where you can learn more about the different Chaplains in the Union Army (https://www.findagrave.com/virtual-cemetery/100961)

Thoughts and Reflections…

While watching Ken Burns documentary on the Civil War, I was a bit surprised to hear him talking about the various pastors and Chaplains who served in both the Union and the Confederate armies.  Although the Christian faith, both for justifying slavery in the South and for justifying abolitionism in the North have often been referenced, the fact that there were Chaplains serving in both armies was a bit of a surprise.  So, I decided to do a little bit of research on my own of this particular topic, and was surprised by how much I found.  Above are just a few of the articles that I came across in a short period of time.  And, I am quite intrigued by this.

As many of you might know, I have been in the Army (Active Duty and Nebraska National Guard) for over 17 years now.  However, something I do not recall sharing yet is the fact that I have tried to become a Chaplain with the US Army Nebraska National Guard.  Although I have always wanted to become a church pastor, there has always been a problem with becoming ordained.  Back in 2010 or so, I attempted to become ordained via a different route, via the Army Chaplain Corps.  Unfortunately, though, that did not work out, either.  However, that has not stopped God from using me on many occasions during my deployments, especially my third (2010-11) and fourth (2015) deployments.

Ever since I joined my current unit, the 192^nd Military Police Law and Order Detachment, I have often served as an ‘unofficial Chaplain’ to the other members of the unit.  There have been many occasions where a fellow Soldier has come to me for emotional and spiritual guidance.  On many occasions I have been asked to do the blessings before an event like a picnic or holiday meal.  While deployed, the Chaplains where I located gave me permission to teach a volunteer Bible Study and even assist them with leading worship.  This even happened one time while I was with the 82^nd Airborne Division.

Sometime between 2003-04, myself and several other members of B Company, 313^th Military Intelligence Battalion, were finishing our pre-jump exercises.  As per tradition, one of the Jump Masters asked if there was a Chaplain in the group of Soldiers who could lead us in a moment of prayer.  This was one of the few times where there wasn’t one.  However, somebody who knew me said, “Underwood here went to seminary!  He’s basically a Chaplain!”  So, I was invited to say a prayer, which I did, asking God for us to have a safe jump.  We loaded the ‘bird’ (airplane, probably a C-130) and took off.  And, we did have a ‘safe jump’ because it ended up being scratched!

When I first started researching this topic this past weekend, I learned that there have been Chaplains in the US Army ever since the Revolutionary War.  In fact, according to the Army History site (https://armyhistory.org/u-s-army-chaplain-corps/):

The U.S. Army Chaplain Corps is one of the oldest and smallest branches of the Army.  The Chaplain Corps dates back to 29 July 1775, when the Continental Congress authorized one chaplain for each regiment of the Continental Army, with pay equaling that of a captain.  In addition to chaplains serving in Continental regiments, many militia regiments counted chaplains among their ranks.

Personally, I find this incredibly fascinating.  From the very beginning, the spiritual well-being of Soldiers has always been a priority!

One of the biggest surprises that I have had in regards to learning more about the Civil War was something I found at Essential Civil War Curriculum site.  About half way down the page, I read about how one of the units in the Confederacy broke new ground concerning the role of the Chaplain.  According to the article, Company M, 7th Tennessee Cavalry was without a Chaplain.  However, there was a slave, nicknamed ‘Uncle Lewis’ who was considered very devout.  They decided to allow him to preach once, and they were so impressed with him that Uncle Lewis (full name was Louis Napoleon Nelson) became the unit’s Chaplain from the spring of 1862 until the close of the Civil War.  How is that for surprising!

This particular subject is something that I will probably try to find a book or two on because of my personal interest in it.  If it’s something that you might have some interested in, I encourage you to do your own research on it.  You may be surprised at what you learn.

The Civil War saw many innovations in the realm of warfare, how we live, economics, etc.  It was a very bloody affair, extremely brutal and horrific.  However, I am finding more and more things about the Civil War that I can learn from.  Although many are military related, not all of them are.

RC

Looking at the Psalms

In a couple of weeks, I will re-start the Bible Study that I do. I am excited about it, because it gives me a creative outlet and something to look forward to each week. Honestly, I love teaching theology! At least for now, we will be looking at The Psalms. "Why?" you may ask. Well, several reasons.

The primary reason is because of the role that Psalms plays in worship. The Psalms were an integral part of the ancient Hebrew worship, and often is major part of ours. I am sure that you have noticed this. However, have you taken time to sit down and read through each of these Psalms that were used in a worship service and examined them in detail? If your church uses a Psalm as a ‘call’ and ‘response,’ have you really thought about what you were saying? Have you thought about what kind of events might have inspired a specific Psalm, or what the original words might convey in meaning?

Many of the Psalms are short, but full of vivid imagery and deep in theology. This will give us a lot to think about, pray about, and discuss. Another important thing is that most of these were someone's prayer that they wrote down. It was their way of putting words to what was on their heart and on their mind. Therefore, they can help us put our thoughts and feelings into prayer.

On a related note, the Psalms cover a very, very diverse range of emotions. From joy, to sadness, to loss, to being deeply confused, to absolute range, and many emotions in between. According to Paul in Romans 8:26-27, we see that the Holy Spirit aids us in our prayers, and searches our hearts. From the readings of the Psalms that I have done over the years, they have helped me put to words what I might be feeling and/or thinking.

While I am not fluent in Hebrew, I can work with that language much more easily than I can Greek. This will help me a lot with researching the history and original text. Believe it or not, this can be very important. For example, in Psalms 23, the original words used in verse 4 actually indicate a ‘staff’ and a ‘club?’ Which indicates to me that God will protect me from dangers that are ‘at a distance’ and those that are ‘right up close.’ That is pretty significant to me, don’t you think?

While most Psalms are a complete thought/prayer in and of themselves, several of the longer ones contain multiple parts. This means that we can either cover one of the longer Psalms in one session, or look at each of its parts over a period of two or more sessions. One Psalm that will take many weeks to look at is Psalm 119, which has over 170 verses! Though they cover a similar theme, they are very diverse in how they express it.

To be honest, it is very easy to look at Psalms and not really think about what they mean. They are very poetic and have wonderful (though sometimes scary) imagery. But, do we really think about them, or do we just quickly read through them? What about our hymns of today? When we sing them, do we really think much about what the words mean? Did you know, Psalms were often chanted during a Jewish worship service, playing a similar role as our hymns. For me, this is yet another reason to look at them in depth.

Something that I am hoping to do, is to post some of the things that we are looking at with the Psalms. Now, there is no guarantee that I will be able to do so every week. Some weeks are more challenging than others. And, I am sure that each of you out there know that. But, not only am I wanting to post things that I discovered, but I also hope to share some of the observations that others share in the class.

As I have talked about before in prior blog entries, each of us is on a journey. What God does with me in my journey will be very different than someone else. Each of us have our own particular joys, sorrows, struggles, expectations, etc. It is my hope, though, that the things that we discuss and learn about the Psalms will be a blessing onto at least some of you each week. That’s not to say that I won’t blog about other things that I experience. As time and life allow it, I want to do so. But, one step at a time. Ready to start a journey together through the Psalms?

Different Thoughts

I know that I have not been posting very much lately. Other priorities have taken precedence most of the time. There were times where I was contemplating something to write. But, unfortunately, I was not able to write them down. The good thing, though, is that I still have some floating around in my mind. I just have to work on 'flushing them out.'

One of the things that has occurred to me is to be thankful that I do have a job. A close friend of mine from seminary has found himself in a difficult position due to unemployment. For those of you out there who have been unemployed, especially while trying to support a family, you understand how painful and stressful it can be.

A few years ago, my wife and I found ourselves is such a situation. It was a very difficult time for all of us. Although we receive some financial help from the state, it was barely enough to cover food, gas, and a few of our bills. We were in a difficult situation financially, and it only got worse. God provided, but it seemed to be not nearly enough for us.

Eventually, God reopened the door to the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) for me. Once again, I found myself working as Custody Staff at the same prison that I worked at a few years prior. Because of the length of time since leaving for a deployment and returning to work with NDCS, I was required to attend the Staff Training Academy (STA) again. I had done well going through it the first time, and it was even easier the second time through. Although I was not excited about doing this kind of work again, I already very family with the things that I would be doing. Needless to say, I was very popular with the other students!

Now, as many of you know from prior blog entries, the Department of Corrections is not what I would prefer to do. It is sometimes (often really) very taxing on my mentally and spiritually. I have to deal with some very evil people, and with professionalism and tact. It is very hard!

But, in spite of challenging this job is, it does have very good job security. And, that is also very unfortunate. It is such a necessary job that I don’t have to work about being laid off. And, the pay is fairly good. I earn a living wage to support a family of 4, with enough left over to do things like vacations, spontaneous road trips, etc.

I will admit, it is sometimes very hard to be thankful for this job. After working 4x 12 hour shifts with very demanding Inmates, I feel exceptionally drained. Being a high sensing introvert, such things have a high impact on me. It often takes at least 1 full day of ‘recharging’ and ‘introverting’ for me to do a lot of things with the family, do on-line courses, etc. I often find myself needing to choose to be thankful, to make that conscious choice. And, there are days where I ‘fake it until I make it.’ That’s just the nature of my life. I do not like it, but I prayerfully seek to do it.

There are many outlets that I have to help deal with such things. On many a long day, I will come up, grab something to eat, and then watch various YouTube videos so that I can relax and recharge. I will sometimes read, go for a walk, or do some art work. Writing on this blog is another way that I decompress and relax.

All of us have to deal with stress in our lives. All of us have to deal with difficult situations, sometimes on a daily basis. Whether we like it or not, stress and difficult situations are a natural part of life. So, we might as well plan on dealing with them.

All of us develop ‘coping methods,’ or ways that we deal with situations. Some turn to drugs, some turn to pornography, some turn to playing computer or on-line games, or something else so as to avoid dealing with problems. These are examples of negative coping skills. While they may feel good at the time and help you to (at least temporarily) avoid dealing with something, the problems do not go away. And, when one uses these poor coping skills, you heap on more problems, often causing things to start spiraling totally out of control. Eventually, whether each of us wants to or not, we have to confront these problems.

Whether you feel like you are on top of the work, feel like you are in the worst place of hell, or some place in between, God is still there to help you. Though you may not like the direction that God is leading you, there is a reason behind it. Sometimes we suffer simply as a direct consequence of our bad choices. Sometimes it’s because of someone else’s negative choices. Sometimes, God may want us to go through times of testing in order to prepare us for something else. I often hate going through it at the time. But, I have often been able to look back and see how God has prepared me for something else because of what I had endured prior.

We all of the accept the consequences of our choices, be it positive or negative. We all have to choose how we deal with situations that are out of our control. Many times we find ourselves, or a loved in, in a very bad place with little or no warning. And, it may be of no consequence of our own (or their) choices. However, we can choose the attitude that we will have while enduring them.

Life is full of many different experiences. I often wonder why God has me where I am at. It is often very painful, or at the very least, very uncomfortable. But, it is where God has brought me. Each of you are where you are at, and God has a plan for you. I wrestle with God regularly with where I am and what is going on. And, I prayerfully try to be obedient. How about you? May God’s grace and love help you through.

A Dark and Stormy Night

References:
• Matthew 27:33-54 NAS
• Mark 15:22-39 NAS
• Luke 23:33-49 NAS

For those who don’t know me, there are some things that I really enjoy that others may not like at all. For example, I enjoy a good thunderstorm. Having grown up in northeastern Kansas (almost 10 whole years), I came to enjoy ‘God’s light show,’ the patter of rain on the windows, looking for rainbows, etc. No, I have not met Dorothy or Toto.

Something else that I really enjoy is a good suspense thriller or horror movie. Now, I do not care for the ‘slasher films’ that are so popular. For me to enjoy the movie, there has to be an intelligent plot, good character development, and unexpected plot twists are always a plus. One example would be the Showtime series “Penny Dreadful” that is on Netflix. I found the series to be a very interesting and unique retelling of various horror stories like Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, etc. It’s not for everyone, that’s for sure.

I do know that some Christians believe that it is evil to watch horror movies because of their portrayal of witchcraft, promotion of evil deeds, etc. There have been a number of movies that I stopped watching because of reasons similar to these. But, for the most part, just like science fiction, I know that they are fictitious, not real, and that they are not (normally) based on Scripture but on myths, pagan beliefs, etc. And, having experience real spiritual warfare myself over the years, I find myself often laughing at how things are portrayed.

Quite frankly, my wife and I will sometimes watch a poorly based horror movie and entertain ourselves with making fun of it. Her experiences are very different than mine when it comes to spiritual warfare. Because of this, there are times where I will seek her thoughts on something, or she will ask me for my input. Our different experiences, personalities (I am an INFJ and she is the polar opposite, an ESTP), training, etc., help us to become better together.

The thunderstorms that we have been experiencing the last few days, including today, helped inspire this blog entry. That, and the fact that I have been watching a number of pretty good horror/thriller movies lately. That, and it’s the night before Easter.

Why am I making these connections? It’s something that I, as an INFJ, do very easily. It’s how my mind works. But, there is a real logic to all of this, if you will just bare with me a little more. Spiritual warfare is essentially the legions of Satan fighting against God and trying to keep each of us away from God’s love and mercy. Whether it is more subtle attacks against our faith in God through friends and family concerning our faith in Christ and belief in Scripture, or they are made manifest in attacks on our character or even our bodies. It all has roots in the spiritual world. It is not something that we see (unless God grants us the ability to see into the spiritual realm), but it’s something that we feel the effects of.

Think about it. Christ’s crucifixion was greatest battle in the eternal war between God and Lucifer (now known as Satan). Up until Jesus’ death and resurrection, we were all spiritually dead, eternally separated from God because of our sinful nature. We belonged to Satan, the ruler of this world. On Good Friday, when Jesus was crucified, Satan genuinely believed that he had won the battle, and the war. It wasn’t until Sunday morning, when Jesus rose again from the dead, that Satan realized that he not only lost that battle, but he also lost the war.

I work for the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services, have been there for almost 10 whole years now. Because of the evil within a lot of the Inmates, every day is intense emotionally and spiritually for me. Not every Inmate is ‘evil-incarnate,’ but quite a few are. Also, because of the sin that many have lived in, demonic forces dwell around, and sometimes within. It’s an environment that I walk within almost daily. Because I have spent about half of my career working within the segregation unit, dealing with people who tend to do evil things on a regular basis, often ‘just of kicks’ or for pure enjoyment, it is sometimes very, very intense.

Although this job can be very dark and morbid, a lot, God does touch lives through me, both staff and inmates. God has used me to encourage those who do follow Him in their individual walks, and He has used me to point others to Him. Both staff and Inmates. God’s love, grace, and peace do indeed shine in the life of several staff members and a number of Inmates. Though they may be just as guilty as the two thieves that hung on either side of Jesus (just as all of us are), some have turned to Jesus and said, “Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!” (Luke 23:42)

Scripture testifies to the evil within our hearts. Scripture testifies to the incredible holiness of God. Scripture also testifies to God’s ‘steadfast love’ for each of us. On that dark, dark day, when Jesus was crucified, the veil in the Temple (a very thick and heavy curtain) was torn in two from top to bottom, the eternal separation between a holy God and sinful human race, was torn open. Two thieves died along with that Glorious Savior. One mocking Him, when acknowledging his sinfulness and seeking His mercy. Which are you?

When God Speaks

References:
• Blog Entry written by Josh Buice
• Mark 13:11 NKJV
• John 14:26 NKJV
• Philippians 3:15 NKJV
• James 4:14-17 NKJV

Someone I know on Facebook asked what other thought about the above article, so I read it. Well, honestly, I tried to read it. It’s not very often that I come across articles that I cannot finish reading. This was one of them.

I am sure that Josh Buice meant well. However, I read the article with more than a little discomfort. This is because a young Christian could easily come away after reading the article and think, “God does not speak to me, so therefore God does not care about me.” Nothing can be further from the truth!

Now, there is a difference between people saying, “God told me..” because He inspired him or her to do something and someone saying, “God told me…” because they are trying to justify their own agenda. If what a person is saying or writing clearly clearly contradicts God’s Word, then they are teaching/speaking from their own human (sinful) spirit or it is demonically inspired. However, if it is something that is not clearly contradict Scripture but honors it, is edifying, points people back to God, etc., then it is probably Divinely inspired.

Now, there will be no more ‘inspiration’ of Scripture. What we have as Scripture is complete, from Genesis through Revelation. That much is very, very true. However, God will still ‘speak to us’ via the Holy Spirit. We are given God’s Spirit (Holy Spirit) for our guidance, encouragement, correct, etc. If God gives us to encourage and guide us and ‘instruct us,’ this it is a given that God will ‘speak to us.’
Although I grew up a pastor’s kid, it wasn’t until I was 20 that I gave my life to Christ. That was back in January of 1994. Over the decades, God has spoken to me on numerous occasions. Very rarely has it been an ‘audible voice.’ More often than not, it will be a nudge in my spirit, my conscience, highlight something in my thoughts (so that it really stands out), etc. Very rarely has it been in ‘distinct words.’

On many occasions while being a pastor in a church (while going through an ordination process), doing a Bible study, or something else, where I will clearly feel God directing me to do something, focus on something, etc. This is especially the case when God is directing me to confront something that is wrong (like a wrong belief that a local church wants to believe). On several occasions I have felt God directing me to confront something and will not let me ‘have peace’ until I obey.

One example that comes to mind… Many years ago, I had the opportunity to give a sermon at the church that my dad had once pastored and that I had grown up in. When my dad first shared this opportunity with me, I felt a very, very unusual sense of excitement to doing it, as if God was not just giving me ‘permission’ to do so, but very much wanted me to do so. Along with this, I felt ‘inspired’ to preach about my conversion. It wasn’t a ‘got knocked off my horse’ kind of conversation like Saul had, but more of a ‘quiet one.’ When I shared this with my dad, he ‘reminded me’ that the church used the liturgy and I was expected to follow it. Ironically (and hilariously to me), the passage was Luke 24:13-33, which perfectly described how I went from ‘just head knowledge’ to ‘saving heart knowledge.’

If Josh Buice’s goal was to speak against people saying, “God told me…” so that they could ‘add to Scripture’ or support their own agenda, I would whole heartily agree. However, the tone and words of the article spoke very differently to me. It spoke of a cold god who did not care about how we lived our lives. Think of it this way… Because of our sinful nature, there is no way we could live in obedience to God based on the Bible. We are absolutely incapable of doing so. It is when God gives us the Holy Spirit to dwell within us that God can guide us. If God guides us to live according to His Will (and His Word), then He is, in fact, ‘speaking to us.’ And, there will be times where God will very clearly instruct us to talk with a certain person, go to a certain place, maybe even some of the courses or college major to focus on. How God does that will be just as varied as there are people on this earth. But, because our God is a loving God who cares about how we live and what we do, He will ‘speak to us.’

Final thought… Prayer is how we communicate with God, is it not? What is communication, but the sharing of ideas, right? Because God calls us to cast all of our cares unto Him, does that not imply that there is going to be a response from Him? Again, how God will respond to us about different things will vary greatly on the person and the situation. God will never add to or take away from Scripture. But, how God wants you to apply things in your life, that He will let you know. Are you willing to listen?

Time Wit Family

Just so you all know, I have not fallen off the face of the Earth. I have been spending the past week with my family.

Though this past week has been very draining, it has also been good. I will share more in a later post, though.

Next week will be Halloween. I am sure many of you here in the US are looking forward to that holiday. Especially if you have kids and/or a kid at heart. But, did you know that the next day, November 1st, is All Saint's Day? For those that are not familiar with the day, it is a day to pause and remember the saint's (fellow brothers an sisters in Christ) who have already died and gone to be with Jesus. We especially remember those who gave their lives for their faith. That is, those who were martyred.

For a while, I did not celebrate Halloween at all, because of the spiritualism associated with it. These days, I celebrate it with my family, somewhat. I choose to focus more on All Saint's Day.

Well, I need to close for now. I will try to write another entry tonight or tomorrow.

Some Thoughts on 1 Thessalonians

In the adult Bible Study that I lead, we have been looking at the shorter Letters from Paul and other Apostles. So far, we have finished Titus and 1 Thessalonians. It's been slow going with some classes having been canceled due to weather or holidays. Nice that we do not have to worry about specific time constraints.

One of the things that I have noticed in my preparation for the Bible Studies is that there is a lot one can learn from each of these 'Minor Letters.' Just like the Minor Prophets that I did a series of studies on while in Qatar last year, though they may be short, they are still very rich in theology. The Bible Studies that I have led have been fairly in depth. But, of course, we do not cover all that we could have.

Paul probably write 1 Thessalonians in approximately 51 AD, while in the city of Corinth (Life Application Study Bible, NASB. Zondervan Publishing House. Grand Rapids, MI, 2000. p. 2110-12.) From what I read in the Book of Acts, 1 Thessalonians, and several different commentaries, after Paul, Timothy and Silas had been forced out of Thessalonica (see acts 17:1-9), they eventually arrived in the city of Corinth. Due the circumstances with which they had been forced out of Thessalonica, Paul and his companions were very concerned with how the churches in Thessalonica were doing. Eventually, Paul sent Timothy back to Thessalonica to see how they were doing. After a while, Timothy returned form this trip with news as to how well the house churches in Thessalonica were doing, as well as a number of questions that they had. Paul wrote 1 and 2 Thessalonians in order to encourage them and answer a number of these questions.

There are four main themes in 1 Thessalonians. They are persecution, Paul's ministry, hope, and being prepared (for Christ's Second Coming). According to the notes in my Life Application Study Bible, 1 Thessalonians can be divided into two main parts. The first one, 1 Thess. 1:1-3:13 is about faithfulness to God. The second part, 1 Thess. 4:1-5:28 is about 'Watchfullness for the Lord.' That is, maintaining an attitude of being ready for Christ's imminent return.

For those who have studies Scripture and have read about the Early Church, persecution was something Paul and the Apostles experienced on a regular basis. It would range anywhere from verbal harassment, to physical attacks, to imprisonment, even death. Quite frankly, Christians all over the work are experiencing persecution, just like the Early Church. For those of us in America, it will often be in the form or verbal harassment from family, friends, co-workers, etc., when we take a stand against sexual immorality, sanctity of life, the right to worship, etc. In other countries, persecution takes many darker, more evil forms. You can read more about the Persecuted Church at Open Doors.

To me, one of the key words in the first section of 1 Thessalonians 1:4, "...beloved by God, His choice of you." The Greek word used here (translated as '...His choice') is εκλογε (ek-log-ay'). It is where we get the theological word 'election.' It is defined as:

 1. the act of picking out, choosing
• of the act of God's free will by which before the foundation of the world he decreed his blessings to certain persons
• the decree made from choice by which he determined to bless certain persons through Christ by grace alone
 2. a thing or person chosen
• of persons: God's elect
(taken from here.)

"Why is this so important?" you might be asking. To me, much. The idea that God has chosen us to serve Him and be His representatives on Earth is incredible and awe inspiring! Think about it, the God of all Creation, Who is not limited by time as space (things that He created) was to have a personal relationship with each of us. We are that important to Him. God, being holy, righteous, loving and forgiving, brings people to Himself through other believers. While facing harsh persecution, including being cut off from friends family, loss of work and income, even imprisonment and death, such encouragement can help a person endure the trials and tribulations.

And that is something that Paul really emphasizes. As Followers of Christ, we are to expect to experience persecution. Though it may not be as horrific as what some people in the Middle East experience, those of us in the 'Free World' will still experience it. Sometimes it will only be in the form of people making fun of us for our faith, or looking down on us for our 'old fashioned moral beliefs.' For me, passages like this and Romans 8:28-39 are of sweet encouragement. No matter what kind of problems I face, God will see me through. He called me for a personal relationship with Him for a reason, my life has purpose, there are things God wants to do through me, lives He wants to touch through my life, and He will see things through to the end.

Is that not wonderful news? It is to me.

A Lifelong Journey

Many years ago, I was in seminary and working on becoming ordained with the Presbyterian Church (USA). One of the many requirements that I had to fulfill was attend a multiple day workshop with several career counselors. If I remember correctly, it took place during a weekend, not that it matters too much for this story.

I was not the only one participating in this career counseling session. There were at least three other people involved. Being that it took place almost 20 years ago, I can't remember a lot of the details. If memory serves me correctly, there was at least one 'group counseling session,' an individual counseling session, a battery of questionnaires, and quite a few group discussions. I believe that one of the questionnaires was on the Gifts of the Spirit and another one was the Meyers Briggs personality test. I know that one of the results of that test was being introverted. At this time, I cannot remember what the other three letters were of my 'type.'

During one of the discussions, we had to draw a picture of how we viewed our currently relationship with God. Each of us had a large piece of paper (something along the line of 24 inches by 36 inches, maybe a little smaller) to draw on. Of course, each of us drew something different. That's to be expected.

Not only did we have to draw the pictures, but we had to explain what it meant. And, I was more than willing to do so. The woods symbolized a brief period in my life where I faced a lot of challenges. Part of which was the room situation that I had endured several years prior with two of my four roommates. It was a very difficult time for me, but one I will discuss in another blog entry. Suffice to say, the pain and difficulties I had experience in Strasbourg, France, helped to facilitate my turning to Christ the following January.

Although I did not how to exactly explain it, I drew me by myself because that is how I often was. Not that because I felt I didn't need others. On the contrary, I do. However, being more introverted, I do a lot of things alone in order to be able to better enjoy being with others. I also tried to explain that though I was standing by myself at the top of the wooded hill, I wasn't completely alone. The picture was through the eyes of someone else.

Being at the top of a hill and the foreground being out of sight symbolized the fact that I didn't know what all the future held. Though I could see a little ways in front of me, I could not see all where the path would lead. There were other hills, valleys, streams, etc., in front of me that I was catching glimpses of. They had been hidden form me until I had reached that hill top. But, the person behind me still had the perspective that I just had. The one of not knowing what the future would hold. To myself and the person behind me, things are being revealed very slowly, by bits and pieces.

You are probably wondering why I would draw something like that. Well, a lot of it is because of the things that I experienced while growing up. The vacations that we took as a family and my love for walking, exploring new places, learning new things, etc., were all influential with developing this 'life is a journey' outlook.

I grew up a preacher's kid, the son of a Presbyterian (USA) minister. Each and every summer we would go on vacation and visit different places. Most summer vacations included visiting relatives, but not always. It was almost always by car, when traveling from place to place. Like a typical kid, I would sometimes get bored and ask, “Are we there yet?!” But, a lot of the times, my parents and I would play games to help make it seem that time was going by faster.

Having traveled all over the United States, I developed a real love for seeing different sights and learning about different places. I remember one especially challenging summer vacation when I was 10 years old. My parents, my Dad's cousin and his godson, and myself hiked the Grand Canyon. We went down the south rim and up the north rim. It was physically very demanding for all of us. I remember being very tired every day, but loving all of the sights, smells, experiences.

All of these many experiences, even traveling to Europe three times, have helped me to develop the mindset of life being a journey. It starts when we are born and ends when we die. The sights that we see, the people that we meet, and the choices that we make all influence what our journey will be like and how it will end. Sometimes things happen along our journey of life that are unexpected, painful and not of our choosing. Even though such difficulties are hard to accept, it is a part of life. We can make one wonderful choice after another and enjoy the beauty that God has created around us. But, because of sin in the world, things can go wrong and we suddenly experience pain, sadness, anger, bitterness, even death. That is, unfortunately, a part of life as a whole.

But, there is great beauty, if we take time to enjoy it. Although I usually have a quick pace, I have learned the importance of stopping from time-to-time, and just taking in my surroundings. Taking them in, savoring them, experiencing all that is around me. Being more introverted than extroverted, I usually have the preference of doing things on my own. That way I can emotionally and mentally recharge while I am enjoying life around me. But, just like everyone else, I need to love and be loved. I need to spend time with others so that I grow as a person and fully enjoy all that is around us. No person is an island. We cannot permanently separate ourselves from others. We all need time alone, those some need more than others. We all need loved ones in our lives to share in this journey.

I don't know if my parents understood that I was an introvert back then, or what that meant for me. I do know that they did allow me the space that I needed most of the time, often without question. This enabled me to ponder things, organize my thoughts, sort things out, so that I could better understand what I was thinking and feeling. And again, all of this walking and think, mental sorting, helped to develop my sense of life being a journey. One that I sought to enjoy as much as possible.

One of the things that bring me great satisfaction is walking with a person who is struggling with something. Although I am sure that this has happened a lot over the years, it became more apparent to me while I was in college. I gave my life to Christ in January of 1994. During the following fall, I had several 'odd' experiences. While walking to and from different classes, someone would start walking with me. Not only would they walk with me, they would start sharing something that was bothering them. I was stunned that this was happening to me. During each conversation, I would listen and share my observations, make suggestions, or whatever else I felt led to do. This happened several times over a period of two weeks. And, as time went by, I noticed how much satisfaction I got out of helping others. Even if I only listened to they share their burdens, I felt good about it. It was through these experiences that I felt God calling me to attend seminary.

As my journey continued over the years, I found myself 'journeying' with others. Sometimes it would be for a brief period of time. Other times it would be multiple conversations. No matter how long the 'shared journey' goes, I almost always feel a deep sense of satisfaction that I had helped someone, even in a small way. Even today, I find myself willingly walking '100 miles' with someone who has a burden that they need to share. When it comes to arguments and debates, I reach my limit very, very quickly. But, for someone who has a genuine need, I can walk a long ways with them.

I know that God gives different Spiritual Gifts to different people. To some God enables them to have deep insights and lots of knowledge. To others, He gives a Gift of prophecy (more 'forth-telling' of God's Word than 'fore-telling'). Still others receive a Gift of leadership. At least one of the Spiritual Gifts that God has given me is pastoring. That is, to mentor, protect, nurture, help, etc. Like what a shepherd does with his/her flock. It is something that I do naturally due to my personality.

Quite a glimpse into who I am, huh? And to be honest, this is just a small bit of me. Over the decades, God has been enabling me to discover new things about myself, new things about others, and new things about Him. It has been an incredible, ‘journey of discovery.’ Not everything I have learned has been pleasant. But, it has all been important for one reason or another.

Have you ever taken time to examine your faith walk and what you have learned over the years? Even if you have been a Follower of Christ for a few months or just a year or so, you have had a faith journey. I encourage you to think about it. It may be quite the eye opener!

Hearing and Responding

References:
• Isaiah 6 NAS
• James 4:13-17 NAS
• “Through Heaven’s Eyes,” (with lyrics) from “The Prince of Egypt”

Over the years, I have often been challenged to listen to the directions that God is giving me and to follow where He guides me. Sometimes it is easy to be obedient. When you sense God directing you to do something that makes sense or makes sense, obedience is easy. Such situations as comfort a friend who is going through a rough time, volunteer in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, to sing during a worship service when you love to sing in front of people, etc. All of those are easy to do.

But yet, often times God will call us to do things that are difficult. For example, God may call a person who loves to study and research thing to teach a class. But while that person loves to learn new things, sharing them in a social setting may set them on edge. Or, sometimes God calls a person to take a stand against a socially accepted evil, like abortion, even though it will mean sacrificing his/her relationship with many friends and family members.

I have sometimes wondered what went through the minds of people like Paul, Isaiah, James, etc., when God called them to do something. Let’s take Isaiah’s experience as an example. Not a whole lot is known about him. He may have been an aristocrat, or maybe he just grew up in Jerusalem and was very knowledgeable with the religious and political leaders. No matter what his up bring was, we see in Chapter 6 that he was suddenly called by God to be His spokesperson to the nation of Israel. And, like Daniel and Jeremiah, it appears that he had a long ministry. And, according to Scripture, his ministry was often rejected.

When God calls us to do things that are unpopular, it can be very hard to want to obey. How many people do you know who enjoy going against the grain, calling injustices and evils to light, and taking a very unpopular stand? I have read about, and talked with, people who are very passionate about the cause they are leading. Though they are passionate about their cause, they often feel greatly frustrated with having to fight against the status quo. Though driven, they are often tired, exhausted, sometimes even become physically ill from the stress.

Sometimes, though, the challenges that God calls us to are not fighting major social injustices. Sometimes the difficult times that God calls a person to are working a job that they really do not enjoy, living in a community that they do not feel a part of, etc. I have been experiencing this myself for many years. It is very hard to work a job that does not come naturally to you, where you feel like a square peg in a round hole. But yet, sometimes God wants to use you in one place so that, when His timing is right, you can be placed in a different position where He can use you, and it feels more natural.

One of the things that I have noticed in Scripture is that God often calls people to follow Him and do things way out of their comfort zones. With people like Moses, Joshua, Isaiah, Saul (later Paul), amongst many others, God called a person from one life and profession to fulfill something totally different. Moses went from a Prince of Egypt to a shepherd somewhere in Canaan, and then to the leader of Israel. Saul was a zealous Pharisee until God changed his life. After his awesome encounter with God on the road to Damascus, Paul became a very influential person within the Early Church and a very effective missionary.

In many cases, the people who God called were not ‘qualified’ for what He called them to do. But, in spite of the fact that they didn’t have the training prior to what He was calling them to, God provided all that they needed as they walked in obedience. Some of those called by God to walk in faith in ways that were very challenging saw a lot of fruit for their labor. Some of them saw little in their lifetime. The same can be in our lives. Although God may call us to do something in faith, we may or may not see much fruit for our labor. And, that is a difficult thing to accept. But yet, accept it we must.

In this life time, we may see little of what God is doing through us. But, that cannot be an excuse to justify not being obedient. Even when it seems that walking in obedience means walking totally alone, we still need to follow. One song that has been a source of encouragement to me (and a challenge, too) is “Through Heaven’s Eyes,” from the movie “The Prince of Egypt.” This song reminds me of the fact that my perception of life is very, very limited. I can easily miss what God is accomplishing through my obedience. Or, it could even be totally hidden from me. But yet, I am encouraged with Ecclesiastes 11:1, that God will accomplish His will through what I do. I may not see it, but He will accomplish His will through my obedience. Is that not an encouragement?!

Whether God calls us to do something that is easy or exceptionally challenging, let us prayerfully seek to obey. Even if we might not see what God is doing through our obedience, let us strive to be obedient. Isaiah, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Fredrick Douglass, amongst many others, probably had little comprehension of what all God would do through them. The repercussions of their obedience is felt even to today. Though we may not be used like God used them, that’s not to say that God can’t do incredible things through us. On this side of Heaven, we probably will not fully comprehend all that God has accomplished through us.

I started this blog many years ago, walking in faith that it was what God wanted me to do. Although I see that many people have visited my blog (over 1300 to date), and people from all over the world have viewed it, I still don't know just how it impacts each person. I have had visitors from the Middle East, all over Europe, Canada, China, etc. (at least, that is where their ISP is registered at). But, though I know many people have visited my blog, I do not know how many stop and read through everything. I also do not know how I have impacted lives now, be it encouragement, challenge, or what not. Nor do I know what kind of seeds God might be planting in a person's heart when they stop briefly, read a few lines, and then go elsewhere. Though I don't know, I trust that God is accomplishing something. Just as when a stone is tossed into a pond and the ripples continue from one side to another, let us seek to do God’s will. As we pray for help to be obedient, let us trust God to guide those ‘ripples’ in the directions that He wants them to go. And maybe, just maybe, God will give us glimpses into what He is doing through us.

For What Cost

References:
• John 11:25-26 NAS
• Luke 24:1-12 NAS
• Open Doors: Pakistan
• FoxNews Article on the terrorist attack in Pakistan

It is Easter Sunday evening for me. My family and I spent Easter at church this morning and then we had lunch with my parents. All of us are Christians and wanted to spend time together celebrating our faith. Celebrating the fact that God not only entered into our world to teach us, but to take our sins upon Himself and died a criminal’s death so that we might be dead to sin. But, not just that, but that Jesus rose from the dead so that all who have been called to believe in His death and resurrection would have eternal life. It was a very pleasant time together.

Unfortunately, though, church, had some real low points this morning. Most of the service was very good and focused on the finished work of Jesus Christ. Many families had visitors, which was a real blessing! But, thing things hit a very sour note. Though the service did end on a positive note, I could not help but walk away from the service angry because of some things that had been brought up. Some issues that we as a local congregation have been wrestling with for some time. Instead of our focus on the New Life that we have in Christ, certain issues gained the spotlight.

After the service, I felt led to talk with our pastor about some things. As some of you might know, I have a strong interest the persecuted Church throughout the world. I have done a few sermons and Bible studies on the topic over the last few years, especially around All Saints Day, which is the first November first, and celebrated on the first Sunday in November. On that day, we are encouraged to take time to reflect on those who have died (were martyred) for the Gospel of Christ. Reading some of their stories helps to put my issues into perspective. Living in a country like America where we are allowed to be Disciples of Christ with little fear had dulled us to what the cost of Discipleship can be.

Throughout the day, my wife and I had briefly talked about the terrorist attack at the Gulshan-e-Iqbal Park in Lahore, Pakistan. We were saddened by it, due to the fact that so many people had been killed or injured. But, it wasn’t until our drive home that reality slapped my very hard in the face.

During our drive home, my wife was reading some updated articles about the terrorist attack, like the one that I linked above. After a little time of silent reflection, she asked, “Doesn’t your friend from seminary live in Lahore, Pakistan?” That was a real slap of reality for me. That made it very personal to me, realizing that someone I know, is a dear brother in Christ, and a good friend, was very likely directly impacted by that attack.

I met my friend, Majid, in 1996 when we both attended Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary. He was there to finish studying for a Doctorate in Ministry, while I was there to get a Masters of Divinity (MDiv). He, several Christians for Africa, and other Christians from America became close friends. After he graduated with his Doctorate and returned to Pakistan, we still kept in touch occasionally via E-mail. After Facebook came around, we connected on that. Around Christmas of last year, I found out that he had been elected as moderator of the Presbyterian Church of Pakistan. I was extremely happy to hear that and eager to hear of the things that God would do through him in such an awesome position.

Majid and I share the same hope in Christ. That hope is that Christ Jesus died for our sins and was raised from the dead for our justification and that we might have a New Life in Him. Over the years, I have experienced prejudice for my conservative Christian beliefs in various forms. But, I have never been threatened with imprisonment and/or death for trust Christ as my Lord and Savior. I am sure that all of what I have experienced pales in comparison to what Majid and the other Christians in Pakistan experience on a daily basis. Really puts things into perspective.

My wife read that Christians make up approximately 2% of the population of Pakistan (OpenDoorUSA.org lists 199 million overall population and approximately 4 million Christians). And, since Majid holds a senior position within the Presbyterian Church of Pakistan, it is very likely that he has friends and/or family members that were directly affected by this attack. I can only imagine how all of this has affected him, his family, his congregation, let alone the Presbyterian Church of Pakistan and other Christians in that country.

On Easter, we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection so that we can have a New Life in Him. We celebrate this hope while still living in this broken world where suffering and death are still a real threat. But yet, those of us who are Christians in such countries as the United States, Canada, various countries throughout Europe, etc., live a very protected life. The challenges that we face on a daily basis grossly pale to what other Brothers and Sisters in Christ experience regularly, even daily. Let us take time remember those who are now experiencing eternal life in Christ in the fullest sense. Whether they died of natural causes, were a victim of crime, are were martyred for their faith, they are now experiencing what we are currently hoping for. That Jesus’ words, “I am the Resurrection and the Life…” (John 11:25) We walk by faith, their faith has been made a reality. Let us pray that those who are persecuted maintain their courage and faith. May we also pray that we do not take our peaceful lives (compared to what they endure) for granted. May we have the same courage to follow Christ like they do. With courage, zeal, compassion, and hope.

Do You Really Know Him?

References:
• RC Sproul “In the Presence of God” for the week of March 14, 2016
• Genesis 3:6-10 NAS
• Matthew 25:31-46 NAS
• Arminian Theology
• Calvinism Theology

Every week, I receive an E-mail devotional from RC Sproul called, “In the Presence of God.” It is written from a conservative theologian writing from a very strong Reformed perspective. Having grown up Presbyterian, it is like a drink from a cool, clear stream for me spiritually. Several of the devotionals that RC Sproul has written have touched me. But, this one did so in a way that was a bit different.

I have had numerous discussions over the years about the fallen nature of mankind and whether or not we, as a fallen being, can seek to know God or not. I must confess, this is something that I have really wrestled with over the years. My wife grew up in the United Methodist Church (UMC) and has a strong Arminian background. Needless to say, this makes for some interest discussions!
This short paper will in no way thoroughly look at this issue. Numerous theologians, not just Arminius and John Calvin, have greatly wrestled with this concept. Many, many books have been written on this theological concept alone. Books written by people a lot more intelligent than myself, and a lot more time to thoroughly research. And both sides use numerous Scripture passages to support ‘their side.’

The thing is, according to Scripture, God is the one who is at work in our lives, doing things and guiding us. As Followers of Christ, we have to choose each day, on a minute-by-minute basis, really, with whether we will be obedient to Christ or not. But, what about non-Christians? Do they have such a choice? Sometimes I really wonder… Almost like the question, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”

No matter how one sorts all of this out in their mind, there is something that we have to take ahold of. Our relationship with God. Whether our understand is that God called us onto Salvation (Calvinism) or that we felt a longing and chose to follow Him (Arminianism), the core issue is, “Do you really know God?” Not just know ‘of God’ with purely an intellectual understanding of Him. But to truly know Him in a personal way. Confused? Allow me to try and help you understand.
If I simply have ‘head knowledge’ of someone, it means that I know of him or her. A good example is studying a large amount of information on the subject of incarceration and its impact on a person who has committed a crime. I can read all of the books and study all sorts of statistics, and come to some very education conclusions. But, it is all ‘head knowledge’ of the subject, all academic, nothing practical or personal.

Now, lets say I take a job as Custody Staff in a state prison or as a jailer in a county jail. Over the many months and years, through personal observation, listening to stories, and my own interactions, I learn first hand how prison life can impact a person. Since everyone is different, how prison impacts a person will vary greatly from person to person. However, if I pay attention to things around me, I will be able to draw education conclusion as to how prison life at that particular prison impacts the people incarcerated there.

With that in mind, let’s go back to our spiritual lives. How well do we know God? As finite beings, we cannot fully understand an infinite God. But, we can know Him to some degree. But, is it all purely academic? That is, are all we know about God are theological concepts and various Scripture verses that one might have memorized? How is this different from ‘heart knowledge?’ A lot, really… If I have ‘heart knowledge’ of a person, then I knew what he or she likes, what they dislike, how they act in certain situations, that kind of environments help them relax, or what kind of situations stress them out. Most importantly, what I say and do has a direct impact on them and what they say and do have a direct impact on me.

That is to say, when someone that I have ‘heart knowledge of’ is having a difficult time with something, it directly impacts how I feel. For example, if someone that I care about is having a very difficult day and struggling with their emotions, it will have a direct effect on my thoughts and feelings. Now, there are times where things that I am wrestling with may blunt the impact of their struggles to me. But, this is only a situational situation where their struggles might not impact me as much as another time. But, typically, how things are going with me will affect them, and visa versa.

Back in the Garden of Eden, God created us to have a personal and intimate relationship with Him. It was a deeply personal one where God, Adam, and Eve walked together and talked with each other. But, due to Adam and Eve’s disobedience, that unique and awesome relationship was destroyed. Since then, we are limited to how well we know God. And, like any kind of relationship, it is an on-going one that takes time and energy to enable it to grow.

What is the depth of your relationship with God? Have you even thought about it? How you live your life and the choices that you make can give others indicators as to what kind of relationship you might have with God. But, in reality, only God truly knows. We can wrestle with where our relationship with God is, but due to our finite and sinful nature, our understanding is limited. However, God is gracious and He will help us know. How He expresses His love to us will vary from person to person. How God helps me to know that He is in my heart and life will be a bit different with someone else. But, if you are a Follower of Christ, He will make His presence known in your life. Are we willing to listen? Are we willing to be obedient?

Asking The Right Questions

This morning after church, we had a congregational meeting to discuss some important future plans. Two years ago last January, our church burned down. There was, praise God, no loss of life. Just the loss of the church. Almost from the start, some people were already talking about how soon we could start rebuilding.

At this time, some plans have been drawn up and a lot of money has been set aside for building the new church. It isnot fully funded yet. But we have some moeny set aside already. We have a good start; but, I am concerned that our focus is not where it should be. My greatest concern is that there is too much of a focus on the physical building, a physical church, but not much thought on being the church to our community.

What do I mean by "being the church?" Much, actually. Being a Christian is more than just making verbal confessions, carrying a Bible, with you all of the time, more than just memorizing Scripture, and attending worship worship at a church. It is much more than that. It is, first and foremost, a personal relationship with God throughthe life, death, and resurrection of Christ Jesus. But, it doesn't end there. Not by a long shot.

Being a Christian means being a Follower of Christ. It means living a life of obedience to not just how God wants us to live morally, but also with how He wants us to serve Him and others. I think that my current life is an excellent example.

As many of you might already know, I work at a State prison here in Nebraska as Custody Staff. It is not a job that I actively sought out. In fact, when I have been job hunting, I have sought out a ministry position. Working in a church or a Christian organization is my heart's desire. I attended seminary ad got a Master's of Divinity (2000 at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary) because that is where I felt God was calling me. But yet, I am working someplace totally different.

Not just that, but personality wise I am in a very challenging place. As an INFJ, I excell in theological study, teaching, and ministering to people. But yet, God is choosing to use me in a place very much outside of what come to me naturally. The last few weeks have been even more vividly so. Over the last year, as I have learned more about the personality that God has given me, I have begun to better understand why I have always been sensitive to my emotional surroundings. Keeping that in mind, it might come to a shock to you that God has been keeping meposted in visiting. My job in visiting, as Custody Staff, is to enforce rules with Inmates and the visitors.  On top of all that, during the visiting periods are a huge, volital mix of emotions. Just a few of them are anger over bad d3cisions, grief over damaged and destroyed relationships, grief over shattered dreams, anger over not being in contol of one's life, etc. The more people who are together, the greater the intensity of these feelings. Yesterday, I had three big groups to deal with, with one being an almost to compacity of the large room. By the end of the day, I felt like I was a 110 volt motor that had been plugged into a 220 volt outlet. Being "very exhausted"was a gross understatement. One might logically ask, why would a loving God put someone like me in an environment that was so draining?! I wrestle with that a lot.

God has given me a few glimpses here and there. Over the 7+ years that I havemworked at this particular prison, God hasnused me to greatimpact many lives there. Both staff and inmates. It doesn't always appear like I do. But, I doget glimpses at times. For example, as I was getting ready do do my searches on a group of Inmates before their visiting session, they were already grumbling about how long it would take. Then one Inmate said, "Hey, I know Underwood... He's cool..." That is all he said. Might not seem like much, but I felt a large amount of the building anger and frustration drop. They all chose to cooperate and, when another staff member arrived to help, things ran very smoothly.

Why did I share this story? Over the last 7+ years, I have had to live in utter dependence to God for strength and with guidance for doing my job. A lot that I do as Custody Staff does not come naturally as an INFJ. It has been a huge struggle on many ocassions. But, from time-to-time, God gives me glimpses of how He has touched lives through me. But, tnis is only because I prayerfylly choose to be God's instrument.

For us as a church, I see us at a crossroads. Will we focus on our physical needs of having our own church building now,; or, will we prayerfully seek to learn how to be The Church to our community? One is a road of easy decisions. One is a road of very difficult introspection and decisions. And, the worst th8ng of all, living uncomforably.

I do not know why God has me where I am at. Working at the prison has been a growing experience, but also a painful one. It is definitely not what I want and would have chose on my own. But, my desire to be obedient to God has beenthe reason why I have stayed so far. And, I believe that we, as a local church, is facing a similar kind of decision. We greatly need God's help in making the right decisions for doing His will. It is a great strugglento be obedient as an individual. The more people who gather to seek His Will, the more conflict and confusion can arise. Especially if each is seeking what makes them, as an individual, feel safe. But, since when has God called us to do things that make us feel safe? I think that Abraham, Moses, Dietrich Bohnhoffer, Frederich Douglas, Maartin Luther, Martin Luther King, Jr., etc., would argue that our comfort is not God's greatest concern.it is our obedience. Let us prayerfully contemplate that.