A New Change in Work

This past Wednesday, I received some awesome news!  While working my usual post, Housing Unit 2CD Control, one of the Unit Managers came into my ‘office.’  He proceeded to inform me that I had been recommended for promotion to Case Worker, if I still wanted the job.  Needless to say, I said, “Yes, I definitely am!”

At this point, I probably need to clarify some things.  For the last 11+ years, I have worked for the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) at the same institution.  And, for this entire time, I have been working as Custody Staff.  (Some people would call us, in a derogatory manner, ‘cage kickers.’  This is far from the truth!)  Although part of my role is to role model appropriate behavior and responses to stress, my primary role is enforcing rules.  Well, in a prison, all staff have an obligation to enforce rules.  However, as Custody Staff, that is approximately 80% of my job.  While I do have occasional opportunities to mentor Inmates, teach staff CPR/First Aid, mentor new staff, etc., that is a much lesser role than enforcing the rules.

Over the years, I have always felt out of place with this role.  As an INFJ, I am not using my natural gifts and personality very much.  In fact, functioning in this role often leaves me extremely drained emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  This is often compounded significantly due to the stress of working in an extremely dangerous environment (the Inmates at my institution are Medium or Maximum Security, many of whom have a violent to very violent background).  Unfortunately, this less very little emotional and physical energy to take care of my family, take care of things around the house, etc.

The amount of draining does depends greatly upon the place that I am working.  If I am in the Clinic, Skilled Nursing Facility, or working in the Gatehouse, I usually am not as adversely affected.  However, if I am working in a Housing Unit Control Center (most days), working on a gallery in the Special Management Unit (SMU), working in the Kitchen, etc., this is usually the case.

Since last October, I have had the opportunity to work as acting Case Worker.  Although I have had a few rough days in the role, my work has not affected me nearly as bad has working as Custody Staff.  Just like when I have worked as acting Religious Coordinator, I always felt like I had accomplished a lot and greatly impacted other peoples’ lives in a positive manner.  This was even after a long, rough day.  Whether as an acting Religious Coordinator or as an acting Case Worker, I seemed to draw upon my natural gifts and talents, as well as my Spiritual Gifts and ministry training.  So much so that I might be tired when I get home, but not ‘absolutely wiped out!’

Something else that I have noticed is that that Inmates seem to have adjusted to me working as an acting Case Worker very positively.  Most have not had a problem at all.  I am sure that a lot of it has to do with the positive rapport that I have with many of them.  And, having been there for so long, most of the Inmates know what to expect from me. 

Needless to say, I was extremely excited and shared this news with several co-workers.  One co-worker, who is a Case Worker that I have worked with, made an interesting comment.  She said, “I would wish you luck, but I know you don’t need it.”  Yes, that definitely did get my attention.  When I was leaving work, I texted my wife, “I got it, praise God!”  Yes, she immediately knew what I meant, and was overjoyed!

So, I will start my new position early next month.  Not only will I still be on first shift (which is what I am working now), I will (finally) have Saturdays and Sundays off!  Which means my family and I will finally be able to do things, as a family, on the weekend.  And, I will be able to attend church on a regular basis.  Yes, I am very, very excited about this!

My eventual goal is to become a Case Manager.  Case Managers do a lot more with an Inmate’s programming, work positions, room assignments, etc.  But, actual Case Worker experience will be extremely helpful in preparing me for becoming one.  We shall see what happens.  It’s all in God’s hands.

In Christ,

RC

Finished With It

Well, yesterday was a major milestone for me, so to speak.  I received my E6 (Staff Sergeant) in December of 2012.  In order to ‘keep’ my rank, I had to complete an on-line course and go to a school.  I was able to successfully complete the school in 2013, but it has taken me a long time to complete the on-line course.

For those who have not done an Army on-line course, consider yourself lucky.  I do not feel that many of the on-line courses are put together very well.  Even though I love to learn new things, the way some of the classes were put together, or studying things that ‘Big Army’ thinks is important, was a real struggle.

The only good thing was that the course that I just finished was an actual ‘learn at your own pace’ class.  That made it much, much better than the course I tried to take in 2013.  Now, that course was extremely difficult!

Off hand, I think that the course was called ‘Common Core,’ but I can’t remember for sure.  When I was promoted in 2012, I did so before it became a requirement for me to complete the school and online class prior to being promoted.  So, I was grandfathered in.  The school, which I attend in California, was very educational.  However, the online portion was more than a little difficult for me.  There were two reasons why it was so difficult for me.  One was because it was done like an actual college course with very specific due dates for certain things.  The second reason was because there were at least 5 different NCO (Non-Commissioned Officers) grading the course.  This became a problem with certain projects because different instructors would grade things at different times.  This made for an issue with consistency for me.

I had a very rough start to the online course because the audio would not work.  Even though I called the school that was facilitating the course, they did not have a ‘fix’ for me.  I just had to use the Close Caption (CC) feature.  Even though I was told that it was at the bottom of the screen, I could not find it.  After about a week of this frustration, while working on it at home, I finally realized that part of the screen was behind my taskbar.  So, I tried resizing and moving the screen.  To no success.  I eventually figured out how to move the task bar to the side, which solved that problem.  But, I would soon have more significant issues to deal with.

At this time, I had returned to work at the state prison after about 18 months of being away, trying to pursue a ministry career.  At first my work was pretty regular and I could make time for working on my online class.  However, within a week of actually getting started on the course, we started getting hit with a lot of mandatoried overtime.  And, since I worked 2^nd Shift (1400-2200 or 2 PM to 10 PM) and was mandatoried onto 3^rd (2200-0600 or 10 PM to 6 AM) I almost never got relieved early.  And, we were getting mandatoried 2 to 3 times a week.  Needless to say, I became chronically sleep deprived very soon, and stayed that way for almost a whole month! 

On top of this course and work, my wife and I had an almost 3 year old boy and an infant girl (about a year old).  My wife went out of her way to give me as much time as she could to focus on this online course.  But, she was burning the candle at both ends, and sometimes had to take time for herself or just sleep.  Myself?  I feel that I was burning the candle at both ends, and in the middle!  It was an extremely difficult time for all of us!

Up until about the 3^rd week of the course, the different instructors did not create a major issue.  However, when we had to create a SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) using a very specific Army memo format, this became a very big issue.  By this time, I had about two weeks to finish this SOP and participate in a discussion board (which they also graded).  Because different Instructors would grade my SOP, different things would have to be changed.  I soon had to have a fellow NCO who had already completed the course tutor me with getting the SOP ‘totally correct’ so that I could complete the first section of the course.  Unfortunately, this didn’t help me in the end.

About 10 days before the first mandatory deadline, my wife and I realized that something had to go.  Either my job (because of all the mandatory overtime), our family, or this course.  It was taking too big of a toll on all of us.  So, I wrote a memo citing my extreme situation, providing my Shift Supervisor from work’s contact information to confirm my situation, and requested to be removed from the course prior to the deadline so that it wouldn’t be counted against me.  (It was a ‘fail three times and you are permanently done’ situation.)  My Chain of Command received and forwarded the memo to the schoolhouse within about two days.  Then the school just sat on it.  I was then removed from the course, ‘failure.’  Needless to say, my wife and I were extremely irate about this!  I had not failed a military school, nor had I failed a course since my second year in seminary.  And that class was a Biblical Greek language course.

For several years, I wasn’t interested in taking an online course because of this very painful experience.  Eventually, in 2015 while deployed to Qatar, I requested to be enrolled in the Structured Self-Directed (SSD) 2 course.  I started the process in the late summer or early fall, where I would have a lot more time to focus on this course.  However, it wasn’t until within a month of me returning to the States that I was finally enrolled in the course. 

I returned from deployment to doing four 12 hour shifts, that made it harder for me to do the course, especially since I strive to put God and family first.  This made finding time to focus on the course very challenging.  On top of that, the course presentation was less than appealing. After years of taking many different Army online courses, I find the way they often present course to be irritating. (Think:  Extreme death by PowerPoint!)  I find it easier to learn by muting it and read what they say while listening to classical music.  Unfortunately for me with this course, it would ‘unmute’ almost every time it advanced to the next screen/slide.  I finally just muted my computer every time I did my online course and listened to classical music on my iPod. 

Well, after almost three years, I finally completed it.  Did I learn a lot?  Yes.  Were there things that I think were unnecessary?  Definitely!  If I were to set up a course, there are several ‘lessons’ that I could combine to help make things shorter.  There are other things that, though nice to know, I don’t think it was absolutely necessary to be included.  I honestly think it was way too long.  Now, if I was Active Duty or in a full-time status, it might have been easier to deal with.  But, as a part-time Guardsman with a full-time job (with occasional to frequent mandatory overtime) and a family to take care of, it was overly long.  But, I am finished and it is, finally, behind me.  I can now focus on other things like preparing for next years learning vacation, preparing for the upcoming Bible Study on the Purpose Driven Church, finish going through many boxes of things that we have, etc.  And, I am now able to just sit down and read without worrying about that course.  That, in itself, is a major blessing!

RC

Spring Thoughts

References:
• 2 Corinthians 5:11-21 NAS
• Galatians 6:10-18 NAS

The other day, my wife went outside to work in our yard. It is something that she really loves to do. In fact, if the weather is decent and there are not other pressing things to do, she will often work outside when given the chance. Although I enjoy being outside and enjoying nature, doing yard work, gardening, etc., are things that I do not enjoy at all. It is something that I really appreciate about my wife.

It is interesting to me that Easter is in the Spring. Interesting and awesome, in my opinion. Think about it. In Spring, we celebrate plants seemingly ‘come back to life.’ Grass becomes green again, deciduous trees start budding and new leaves come out, the days become warmer, the days become longer, flowers start to appear and bloom, etc. It can almost be like the world is ‘coming back to life!’

During Easter, we celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, Who was fully Man and fully Divine, so that our sins could be forgiven and we could have a new life. As Christians, we believe that so that a sinful person could have a personal relationship with a holy and righteous God, something had to atone for our sins. Because of God’s great and unfathomable love for us, He chose to take our place on that cross.

Think about it… A holy and righteous God cared so much for a fallen and rebellious people that He took our place! Here is a way to put it into context. Imagine a person who lives an abundant life, caring and loving others, lives with integrity, is always honest and speaks in a compassionate manner. Does this not sound like someone who you would want to emulate?

Now, say an evil man or woman, who has tortured and killed many people is finally arrested. This particular person is accused of torturing and killing more than 30 people who did noting wrong. In fact, this evil person went out of their way to find people who sought to live a good life to murder in very painful, even excruciating ways, making it last days if possible. This person is tried and found guilty and has earned the death penalty because of the horrendous crimes that he/she has committed. And, let’s assume that there is absolutely no question of his/her guilt because this person was so evil at heart that he/she videotaped many of their ‘sessions,’ DNA evidence clearly links this person to the numerous crimes, etc. You probably expect, even hope, that such a person would be “thrown in prison and that they throw away the key” at the very least, if not publicly execute him/her for all of the evil that he/she did.

Now, let’s say that the ‘righteous man,’ the outstanding citizen mentioned above, chooses to have compassion on this evil person, who is now pleading for mercy and swearing that he/she will totally change their ways. This ‘righteous person’ not only pleads with the judge for clemency for the wicked person, but voluntarily will take their place with the death sentence. If you were the judge, would you accept this man’s offer? If you were one of the victims of this ‘monster,’ would you be willing to accept the ‘righteous man’s offer’ to take place of the man or woman who was, without question, found guilty of torturing and killing your loved one?!

If this sounds to horrendous to consider, that’s the point. Because, whether or not we want to believe it, we are all like that ‘horrendous and evil killer.’ Why? Because in thought, word, and deed, we rebel against God’s authority in our lives and ‘murder’ others in our hearts by hating others. We all break each and every one of God’s 10 Commandments in thought, word, and deed, each and every day of our lives. Each of us.

As a holy and righteous God, when Adam and Eve first sinned, God would have been justified in permanently ending our existence right then and there. Or God could have chosen to have done nothing and allow us to perpetually live separated from Him in this life and in eternity. Instead, God allowed us to endure the consequences of our sins by being physically alive and spiritual dead until He could, at the right time, remove the consequences of our sins for those who trust in Him and His forgiving love. There is a cost for us, though. In exchange for receiving His free grace, God expects us to repent of our sins and to turn away from them. We are not alone in doing this, though. Upon repenting of our wickedness and receiving God’s love and grace, He in turn dwells within us via His Holy Spirit. In living through us, God helps us to change, learn and grow in faith and become more like Him.

Imagine that… Though we are broken, have wicked hearts with evil intentions, and by nature do not want to obey God, He wants to change us. That is what we celebrate this Easter. It’s not about colorfully decorated eggs, it’s not about a bunny delivering baskets (Hasenpfeffer, anyone?!), it’s about God taking our sins upon Himself so that we could live with Him for eternity.

Just Some Thoughts

Well, it has bwen a while sine I have been able to sit down and write something. Actually, that isn't totally tru. There have been several occassions where I felt like writing something. But, either did not have the time or the energy to do so. Been frustrating, really.

life goes on, though. I noticed that over the last few weeks, several people have checked out my blog. That was definitely encouraging. Helped to inspire me to sit down and write some thoughts during my weekend.

Christmas with the family was very enjoyable. My Mother-in-Law stayed with us for a few weeks. The kids got lots of interesting toys. My wife, who is Irish, got several Irish themed gifts from me. I got a NCIS t-shirt and mug with Gibb's rules, a lot of coffee, and a compass that one can wear on your wrist that had been my Grandfather's when he was in Germany during World War II.

Life goes on... For those who don't know, our church building (Syracuse United Methodist Church) burned down several years ago. This past Sunday, they voted to approve the plans for a new church and to move forward with its construction. I am not convinced that it is the wisest thing to do right now, for a variety of reasons. But, it is their choice so I will prayerfully help them as much as I can.

Work goes on. Recently, they had an opening as Religious Coordinator at the prison that I work at. Needless to say, I applied for it. Although I did pretty good in the interview, I did not get it. Yeah, I am disappointed. Being a Religious Coordinator is a much better fit for me then being Custody Staff. But, evidently I am where God wants me to be. At least for now.

Because of the weather, I will not be leading a Bible Study tonight. A little disappointing to me because it is something that I really look forward to each week. But, because the rain/freezing rain has made driving dangerous, it is the right decision. In case I forgot to mention, we have switch from studying the 'Minor Letters' (shorter letters in the New Testament), to studying the Heidelberg Catechism (You can look at it here, here, or here.) One of the marked differences between the Methodist Church and many of the Reformed denominations (like Presbyterian) is that Methodists rarely use church historical documents like the Westminster Catechism, Heidelberg Catechism, Bremen Declaration, etc. Where as, growing up Presbyterian and having go to seminary, I am familiar with them. Like many people, I am more familiar with some church historical documents than others. But, they are all important.

From a Christian standpoint, Scripture alone tells us who God is, what His requirements are for us, etc. (Sola Scriptura). However, things like the Westminster Catechism, Heidelberg Catechism, etc., show us how to apply Scripture to our lives. Such church documents (written to address an issue of some sort in history) explains not just what a Christian believes, but explains why it is important, how Scripture supports it, and how to challenge other (unbiblical/heretical) beliefs. It is always to be tempered with love and gentleness. But, such church documents help us to better understand our beliefs. That, in turn, helps us to explain what we believe and why.

Well, I will try to write more either later today or tomorrow. Like usual, I do have a lot of things that I need to do. While writing blog entries are important to me, it is not as high of a priority as other things.

Some Holiday Family Fun

Yesterday my family and I went to see the Nutcracker at the University of Lincoln Lied Center. For a Christmas gift, we bought tickets for my parents so that they could join us for the experience. It was a really wonderful experience that all of us were able to enjoy. My son enjoyed the first half, especially the fight between the the Nutcracker, the two soldiers and the Rat King and his minions. My daughter, who is in ballet, loved it all.

I love watching the performing arts, listening to classical music, going to an art museum, etc. Part of the reason why I enjoy such things is because of the amount of time I have invested myself in them. All through middle school and until the end of my sophomore year in high school, I played the trumpet in band. I loved playing in the orchestra/concert band and even did jazz band for a year. That was very different and a real thrill! But, I did not enjoy marching band.

Not only was I in band, but I took numerous art classes. In fact, I took at least one semester of art every year from 8th grade until I graduated from college. I have dabbled in several different medias (types of art), from ceramics to pencil, to colored pencil, to Conté Crayons, to paint ( many types), to pen and ink, etc. In fact, some of the only medias that I have not done are metal, stone, an glass blowing.

And, on top of all of this, I have been in several plays, not counting the Christmas plays that I have been in over the years. My German class (first year in College) put on a play (auf Deutsch, naturlich... in German, of course...) that my parents attended. I was a stage hand of the play "To Kill a Mockingbird" and played several 'minor roles' in the play "Mother Courage (and all of Her Children)." It was a lot of hard work and took a lot of time to practice and get things correct. But, it was all worth it in the end.

I really enjoyed the dancing, though I have to admit, I was often focusing a lot more on the music. The music was done by Nebraska Symphony Orchestra, and I simply loved it. Because of the time I spent in band, I can really appreciate all of the hard work that they put into it. To me, the music not only had exceptional tone quality, but seemed to seamlessly blend from one point to another. Even though I really did enjoy watching the performers do the ballet, I just seemed to be drawn much more to the music.

The other thing that I was really drawn to was all of the art work. I seemed to be especially intrigued by the creation of the 'palace' background during the second scene. They did a stupendous job with all of the stage art work, in my opinion. However, my eyes felt especially drawn in to the background work during the 'palace scene' because of how well it has been done. Although it was clearly a scene painted onto a canvas surface, my eyes still were drawn into it. The people who created it did a very good job with their one point perspective. And, they also added some reflective/sparkly items to the backdrop, so as to give it the illusion of sparkling jewels. This detail just added to the depth and enjoyment of the ballet overall.

As I soaked up as much of the experience as I could, I was often reminded of my experiences while studying German at Centre College. Part of the uniqueness of 'the Centre Experience' is there emphasis on experiencing many different things. In fact, each year full-time students have to attend 12 convocations, which range from concerts, special movies (because of their emphasis on cross-cultural experiences), various lectures, etc. There are so many different options that this is not hard to do. I have to admit, I miss attending such things that enrich one culturally. I will take what I can get.

What was more special about this situation was that I was enjoying it with my family. Both my wife and I really enjoy going to concerts, plays, etc., as well as my parents. It's a way that we can experience other times and other cultures. At least, get a 'snap shot' through their artifacts, art, music, etc. It's something that my wife and I are trying to cultivate in our children. Since my children's interests vary quite a bit, this can sometimes be a challenge. But, it is something that we try to do, to cultivate a love for learning about other people and cultures. This can of love of learning has helped me to grow as a person, and as a Christian.

How has it helped me to grow as a Christian? Several ways. First of all, it has helped me to appreciate and the historical and cultural influences/context of when Scripture was written. Each part of the Bible was written by a specific person, addressing specific historical and cultural situations, with a given language. And, not only was each person writing to a specific audience, but each person had their own unique way of writing. Understanding all of this helps one to understand what the original message was to what kind of audience and how they would have probably received it. That, in turn, informs us how we can apply these historical and spiritual truths to our lives.

Another way all of this has enriched me is how I prayerfully try to interact with others. In learning about the history of others, I have gained a better appreciation to the importance of know an individual or a group's historical background. There are reasons why people have done different things. Many different and significant (though not always obvious) influences have led up to different actions and decisions. Understanding this has helped me on numerous occasions with guiding me with how I deal with certain people. And, it's not always easy to do. But, it is still very important.

During this Advent Season, I hope that all of you are take time to make special memories with you family and friends. It can be very challenging at times. But, the hard work will pay dividends in the future. And, if you can learn more culturally through art, music, etc., all the better. At least, that what I believe.

Time Wit Family

Just so you all know, I have not fallen off the face of the Earth. I have been spending the past week with my family.

Though this past week has been very draining, it has also been good. I will share more in a later post, though.

Next week will be Halloween. I am sure many of you here in the US are looking forward to that holiday. Especially if you have kids and/or a kid at heart. But, did you know that the next day, November 1st, is All Saint's Day? For those that are not familiar with the day, it is a day to pause and remember the saint's (fellow brothers an sisters in Christ) who have already died and gone to be with Jesus. We especially remember those who gave their lives for their faith. That is, those who were martyred.

For a while, I did not celebrate Halloween at all, because of the spiritualism associated with it. These days, I celebrate it with my family, somewhat. I choose to focus more on All Saint's Day.

Well, I need to close for now. I will try to write another entry tonight or tomorrow.

Changes

Well, the first day of fall was last Thursday, September 22, 2016. It wasn't until a few days later that the weather really started feeling like fall, though. For me, fall and spring and the most enjoyable times of the year. Everything in nature is changing, the weather is more mild, and seasonal activities are drawing to a close or just starting.

I am not sure which I enjoy more, spring or fall. Both bring about all sorts of awesome changes. Animals start migrating, leaves either change color due to dying off or buds are starting to appear, etc. I especially love the cooler weather. We can often leave the windows open all day long and the house stays cool. Little to no need for using the AC or furnace. At an extra layer of clothing like a long sleeved shirt, a sweater or light jacket, and you can walk around outside very comfortably.

We all experience things in life differently. We all have our different perspectives and experiences that color how we perceive the world around us. We all appreciate different things about nature, other people, animals, even the world around us. Because of these rich differences, some will enjoy one thing while others will enjoy something else.
While some people focus on cleaning out their house during the spring, I am doing some of that this fall. Going through piles and piles of boxes, getting rid of things that are no longer wanted or needed. It can be a real challenge sometimes, especially if someone doesn’t like change.

But yet, change is unavoidable. It will happen. Throughout life, our bodies change. We change from babies, to toddlers, to children, to teens, to adulthood, etc. Our bodies go through stages of becoming stronger and then slowly growing weaker due to injury, illness, or even old age. Change can come gradually, throughout a lifetime, or suddenly because of the birth of a child, a change in employment, or a sudden illness or injury.

Just as the seasons will change, so will our lives. Relationships will come and go. We will get new jobs, get promoted, laid off, or something else. In fact, favorite hobbies and genre of music can change greatly over time. We will never know until that change comes.

Though change will come, one thing will always stay the same. God’s holiness and God’s love for us. God will always be a holy and righteous God, punishing evil and sin, and seeking justice for those who are oppressed. And, God will always be loving and compassionate, willing to forgive those who repent.

Though there will always be change in our lives, is it not wonderful that God never changes?! I encourage each of you, as you rake the leaves, dig out the long sleeved clothes, find your sweaters, brew your hot apple cider and/or coco, etc., take time to reflect on this. Even if fall might not be your favorite season, do take some time to admire how God is painting a different scene around you. Take time to breath in all of the new smells, feel the changes of weather, etc. Also reflect on how God has brought you from where you used to be, to where you are now. Even if you are facing many difficult, seemingly overwhelming challenges, God does not change. What He has brought you through so far, He will continue to bring you through. The changes and victories may be small, even unknowable right now. Just like the slow, subtle changes in the weather, the length of day, etc. But, over time, may God open your eyes to all that He has done, and still will do.

Silently Testifying

For those who live in the Great Plains, or have traveled through it, old homesteads and old farms are a regular part of the scenery. Since I have lived in one part of the Great Plains or another for over half of my life, I sometimes don't notice them while traveling through. But yesterday (Sunday, 04SEP2016) was different. I had been in Kansas for a family reunion and was driving home. Using Google Maps, I was driving on a road that I don't recall driving on before. Being the Labor Day Weekend, and the typical Sunday in the Country, not a whole lot of people were out. So, I have a very quiet drive.

My daughter had fallen asleep, so I was drinking in the open roads, the country music that I had playing on my iPod, and watching the scenery roll by. It was a very relaxing time for me.

Just sound of the Nebraska boarder on Kansas HWY 99, I saw something that really perked my interested. As I crested a hill, an series of old farm buildings appeared before me. Seeing that the road was empty, I slowed down and took a series of pictures. Yes, I often looked around to make sure that things were safe. No a single car appeared during this time. It was as if God was purposefully wanting me to really drink this experience up. It also really got me thinging...

To what were these buildings silently testifying to? What kind of joys were celebrated here? What kind of sorrows were grieved here? Did the generations that lived here have thankful hearts to how God provided? Did they have challous hearts because of the hardships they had to endure?

Why was the farm abandoned? Did the children loose interest in making things grow? Did they feel called to different careers? Or, did they simply want what they felt would be an easier life doing something else?

Judging by the size of the house, they were doing well at some point in time. When people first started farming in the Great Plains, especially the original Homesteaders, the original homes were not big at all. Often times, they were little more than simple cabins or sod houses. But, if God blessed the people enough that they could afford to build something nicer, then they often would. Or, in the case of a simple cabin orignally, they would consistantly add on as the family grew and they could afford to do so.

Those of us who have lived here on the Plains for any length of time know how challenging it can be. From the hot, sometimes dry summers, to the sometimes bitter cold winters with very dangerous blizzards. Some families have kept their homesteads for generations. Some have even grown and grown. Still others have struggled, sold parcel after parcel of land off, until they have little to nothing left.

Being someone who loves history, I have learned that each place has many, many stories to tell. Even famous places like Gettysburg, PA; Salem, MA; The Alamo, TX; and others each have a history that they are famous for. But yet, each of them have very personal histories. Histories that are unique as each and every individual who lives there.

Over the years, my interest in world history has gradually evolved into an interest in family history. That is, geneology. Just like history, geneology is a science and an art. There are many things that you can discover through painstaking research. But, there are things that you will never know for sure. For example, you can learn for sure what a person's address was at a specific time, and possibly which church he/she attended (or was a member of) and what kind of job he/she might have had. You may be lucking to find a newspaper article or two that describes something that they did or said. But, more often than not, things like the friends that they had, how much they enjoyed life, what they though of the house or apartment that they lived in, etc., are things you have to guess at.

Because I was coming home from a family reunion, these kinds of thoughts were fresh in my mind. Maybe the family that lived in the modern house across the highway were decendants of the family that once lived on the old farm? Or, maybe the family has long moved on? Maybe someone in the family had kept a diary of their experiences? Maybe someone in the family enjoys geneology and has written about their experiences? Or, maybe the buildings will forever silently testify to what happened within their walls?

One last thought... We all have stories to tell. We all have experiences that have greatly touched our lives. Some of them are good, some of them are painful, some of them are down right histarical. But, stories we have none-the-less. For those of us who are followers of Christ, we have many stories about what He has done in our lives. These are stories that we should be willing to share, too. Whether they are joyful ones, sad ones, or times of great frustration with God, they are still our stories, our testamonies, as to what He has done in our lives. You never know how God can use your personal experiences in the life of someone else. I know that He has often surprised me!

This weekend as we celebrate Labor Day, let's take some time to reflect together on our personal experiences. During our get-togethers with friends and families, let us share these joys and sarrows. Not only do shared experiences help one generation bond with another, but they can be a key that unlocks something in the life of someone else. You just never know what God will do. Just know and trust that He will do something.

A Lifelong Journey

Many years ago, I was in seminary and working on becoming ordained with the Presbyterian Church (USA). One of the many requirements that I had to fulfill was attend a multiple day workshop with several career counselors. If I remember correctly, it took place during a weekend, not that it matters too much for this story.

I was not the only one participating in this career counseling session. There were at least three other people involved. Being that it took place almost 20 years ago, I can't remember a lot of the details. If memory serves me correctly, there was at least one 'group counseling session,' an individual counseling session, a battery of questionnaires, and quite a few group discussions. I believe that one of the questionnaires was on the Gifts of the Spirit and another one was the Meyers Briggs personality test. I know that one of the results of that test was being introverted. At this time, I cannot remember what the other three letters were of my 'type.'

During one of the discussions, we had to draw a picture of how we viewed our currently relationship with God. Each of us had a large piece of paper (something along the line of 24 inches by 36 inches, maybe a little smaller) to draw on. Of course, each of us drew something different. That's to be expected.

Not only did we have to draw the pictures, but we had to explain what it meant. And, I was more than willing to do so. The woods symbolized a brief period in my life where I faced a lot of challenges. Part of which was the room situation that I had endured several years prior with two of my four roommates. It was a very difficult time for me, but one I will discuss in another blog entry. Suffice to say, the pain and difficulties I had experience in Strasbourg, France, helped to facilitate my turning to Christ the following January.

Although I did not how to exactly explain it, I drew me by myself because that is how I often was. Not that because I felt I didn't need others. On the contrary, I do. However, being more introverted, I do a lot of things alone in order to be able to better enjoy being with others. I also tried to explain that though I was standing by myself at the top of the wooded hill, I wasn't completely alone. The picture was through the eyes of someone else.

Being at the top of a hill and the foreground being out of sight symbolized the fact that I didn't know what all the future held. Though I could see a little ways in front of me, I could not see all where the path would lead. There were other hills, valleys, streams, etc., in front of me that I was catching glimpses of. They had been hidden form me until I had reached that hill top. But, the person behind me still had the perspective that I just had. The one of not knowing what the future would hold. To myself and the person behind me, things are being revealed very slowly, by bits and pieces.

You are probably wondering why I would draw something like that. Well, a lot of it is because of the things that I experienced while growing up. The vacations that we took as a family and my love for walking, exploring new places, learning new things, etc., were all influential with developing this 'life is a journey' outlook.

I grew up a preacher's kid, the son of a Presbyterian (USA) minister. Each and every summer we would go on vacation and visit different places. Most summer vacations included visiting relatives, but not always. It was almost always by car, when traveling from place to place. Like a typical kid, I would sometimes get bored and ask, “Are we there yet?!” But, a lot of the times, my parents and I would play games to help make it seem that time was going by faster.

Having traveled all over the United States, I developed a real love for seeing different sights and learning about different places. I remember one especially challenging summer vacation when I was 10 years old. My parents, my Dad's cousin and his godson, and myself hiked the Grand Canyon. We went down the south rim and up the north rim. It was physically very demanding for all of us. I remember being very tired every day, but loving all of the sights, smells, experiences.

All of these many experiences, even traveling to Europe three times, have helped me to develop the mindset of life being a journey. It starts when we are born and ends when we die. The sights that we see, the people that we meet, and the choices that we make all influence what our journey will be like and how it will end. Sometimes things happen along our journey of life that are unexpected, painful and not of our choosing. Even though such difficulties are hard to accept, it is a part of life. We can make one wonderful choice after another and enjoy the beauty that God has created around us. But, because of sin in the world, things can go wrong and we suddenly experience pain, sadness, anger, bitterness, even death. That is, unfortunately, a part of life as a whole.

But, there is great beauty, if we take time to enjoy it. Although I usually have a quick pace, I have learned the importance of stopping from time-to-time, and just taking in my surroundings. Taking them in, savoring them, experiencing all that is around me. Being more introverted than extroverted, I usually have the preference of doing things on my own. That way I can emotionally and mentally recharge while I am enjoying life around me. But, just like everyone else, I need to love and be loved. I need to spend time with others so that I grow as a person and fully enjoy all that is around us. No person is an island. We cannot permanently separate ourselves from others. We all need time alone, those some need more than others. We all need loved ones in our lives to share in this journey.

I don't know if my parents understood that I was an introvert back then, or what that meant for me. I do know that they did allow me the space that I needed most of the time, often without question. This enabled me to ponder things, organize my thoughts, sort things out, so that I could better understand what I was thinking and feeling. And again, all of this walking and think, mental sorting, helped to develop my sense of life being a journey. One that I sought to enjoy as much as possible.

One of the things that bring me great satisfaction is walking with a person who is struggling with something. Although I am sure that this has happened a lot over the years, it became more apparent to me while I was in college. I gave my life to Christ in January of 1994. During the following fall, I had several 'odd' experiences. While walking to and from different classes, someone would start walking with me. Not only would they walk with me, they would start sharing something that was bothering them. I was stunned that this was happening to me. During each conversation, I would listen and share my observations, make suggestions, or whatever else I felt led to do. This happened several times over a period of two weeks. And, as time went by, I noticed how much satisfaction I got out of helping others. Even if I only listened to they share their burdens, I felt good about it. It was through these experiences that I felt God calling me to attend seminary.

As my journey continued over the years, I found myself 'journeying' with others. Sometimes it would be for a brief period of time. Other times it would be multiple conversations. No matter how long the 'shared journey' goes, I almost always feel a deep sense of satisfaction that I had helped someone, even in a small way. Even today, I find myself willingly walking '100 miles' with someone who has a burden that they need to share. When it comes to arguments and debates, I reach my limit very, very quickly. But, for someone who has a genuine need, I can walk a long ways with them.

I know that God gives different Spiritual Gifts to different people. To some God enables them to have deep insights and lots of knowledge. To others, He gives a Gift of prophecy (more 'forth-telling' of God's Word than 'fore-telling'). Still others receive a Gift of leadership. At least one of the Spiritual Gifts that God has given me is pastoring. That is, to mentor, protect, nurture, help, etc. Like what a shepherd does with his/her flock. It is something that I do naturally due to my personality.

Quite a glimpse into who I am, huh? And to be honest, this is just a small bit of me. Over the decades, God has been enabling me to discover new things about myself, new things about others, and new things about Him. It has been an incredible, ‘journey of discovery.’ Not everything I have learned has been pleasant. But, it has all been important for one reason or another.

Have you ever taken time to examine your faith walk and what you have learned over the years? Even if you have been a Follower of Christ for a few months or just a year or so, you have had a faith journey. I encourage you to think about it. It may be quite the eye opener!

For What Cost

References:
• John 11:25-26 NAS
• Luke 24:1-12 NAS
• Open Doors: Pakistan
• FoxNews Article on the terrorist attack in Pakistan

It is Easter Sunday evening for me. My family and I spent Easter at church this morning and then we had lunch with my parents. All of us are Christians and wanted to spend time together celebrating our faith. Celebrating the fact that God not only entered into our world to teach us, but to take our sins upon Himself and died a criminal’s death so that we might be dead to sin. But, not just that, but that Jesus rose from the dead so that all who have been called to believe in His death and resurrection would have eternal life. It was a very pleasant time together.

Unfortunately, though, church, had some real low points this morning. Most of the service was very good and focused on the finished work of Jesus Christ. Many families had visitors, which was a real blessing! But, thing things hit a very sour note. Though the service did end on a positive note, I could not help but walk away from the service angry because of some things that had been brought up. Some issues that we as a local congregation have been wrestling with for some time. Instead of our focus on the New Life that we have in Christ, certain issues gained the spotlight.

After the service, I felt led to talk with our pastor about some things. As some of you might know, I have a strong interest the persecuted Church throughout the world. I have done a few sermons and Bible studies on the topic over the last few years, especially around All Saints Day, which is the first November first, and celebrated on the first Sunday in November. On that day, we are encouraged to take time to reflect on those who have died (were martyred) for the Gospel of Christ. Reading some of their stories helps to put my issues into perspective. Living in a country like America where we are allowed to be Disciples of Christ with little fear had dulled us to what the cost of Discipleship can be.

Throughout the day, my wife and I had briefly talked about the terrorist attack at the Gulshan-e-Iqbal Park in Lahore, Pakistan. We were saddened by it, due to the fact that so many people had been killed or injured. But, it wasn’t until our drive home that reality slapped my very hard in the face.

During our drive home, my wife was reading some updated articles about the terrorist attack, like the one that I linked above. After a little time of silent reflection, she asked, “Doesn’t your friend from seminary live in Lahore, Pakistan?” That was a real slap of reality for me. That made it very personal to me, realizing that someone I know, is a dear brother in Christ, and a good friend, was very likely directly impacted by that attack.

I met my friend, Majid, in 1996 when we both attended Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary. He was there to finish studying for a Doctorate in Ministry, while I was there to get a Masters of Divinity (MDiv). He, several Christians for Africa, and other Christians from America became close friends. After he graduated with his Doctorate and returned to Pakistan, we still kept in touch occasionally via E-mail. After Facebook came around, we connected on that. Around Christmas of last year, I found out that he had been elected as moderator of the Presbyterian Church of Pakistan. I was extremely happy to hear that and eager to hear of the things that God would do through him in such an awesome position.

Majid and I share the same hope in Christ. That hope is that Christ Jesus died for our sins and was raised from the dead for our justification and that we might have a New Life in Him. Over the years, I have experienced prejudice for my conservative Christian beliefs in various forms. But, I have never been threatened with imprisonment and/or death for trust Christ as my Lord and Savior. I am sure that all of what I have experienced pales in comparison to what Majid and the other Christians in Pakistan experience on a daily basis. Really puts things into perspective.

My wife read that Christians make up approximately 2% of the population of Pakistan (OpenDoorUSA.org lists 199 million overall population and approximately 4 million Christians). And, since Majid holds a senior position within the Presbyterian Church of Pakistan, it is very likely that he has friends and/or family members that were directly affected by this attack. I can only imagine how all of this has affected him, his family, his congregation, let alone the Presbyterian Church of Pakistan and other Christians in that country.

On Easter, we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection so that we can have a New Life in Him. We celebrate this hope while still living in this broken world where suffering and death are still a real threat. But yet, those of us who are Christians in such countries as the United States, Canada, various countries throughout Europe, etc., live a very protected life. The challenges that we face on a daily basis grossly pale to what other Brothers and Sisters in Christ experience regularly, even daily. Let us take time remember those who are now experiencing eternal life in Christ in the fullest sense. Whether they died of natural causes, were a victim of crime, are were martyred for their faith, they are now experiencing what we are currently hoping for. That Jesus’ words, “I am the Resurrection and the Life…” (John 11:25) We walk by faith, their faith has been made a reality. Let us pray that those who are persecuted maintain their courage and faith. May we also pray that we do not take our peaceful lives (compared to what they endure) for granted. May we have the same courage to follow Christ like they do. With courage, zeal, compassion, and hope.

Wonderfully Made

References:
- Psalm 139:7-18 NAS
- Jeremiah 1:1-10 NAS
- Romans 12:3-13 NAS
- Jung Typology Test
- 16 Personalities

After some thinking and praying, I believe that God is calling me to change things just a little bit with my blog. There will be a continued emphasis on seeking to better understand who God is and how He calls us to reach out to those who are lost, hurting, etc. I will also be adding some original poetry and short essays (for me, a 2-4 page essay is short) reflecting on how I perceive life. That way this blog will be a better reflection of who I am, and be an encouragement to others.

For most of you out there, while in school or while at work, you have most likely heard about personalities tests. Some are more for fun, like which movie character you are most like, or what kind of animal you might be, what kind of car matches your personality, etc. Others are more series, like the ones I listed above. There are many personality tests out there, each measuring different things. Their goal is to help a person better understand what kind of personality they have. This is because one's personality influences how a person interprets and interacts with the world around them.

For example, an introvert is more inwardly focused on his/her thoughts. They can be very creative thinkers, making connections and coming up with ideas that others might miss. They are less social than extroverts and prefer to be alone in their thoughts, a good book, etc. In fact, an introvert needs a lot of time alone to recharge themselves emotionally and spiritually so that they can effectively engage the world around them. Whereas extroverts tend to get most of their recharging interacting with others. Neither is better than the other and both are needed.

Some people are more sensing (external stimuli) while others rely more on intuition. Some are either more thinking (logic) or feeling (how they feel they should react). One place to find more in depth information is here. Just as with the Gifts of the Spirit, I believe that God gives each of us different personalities so as to help us all engage the world more effectively. Because each of us perceives the world differently, and engages the world differently, each of us can contribute more to solving things.

Although I didn't know exactly what my personality type was until I was in seminary, I always knew that I was a bit different. Unlike some of my friends, I did very well in academics and was able to come up with some creative ideas. Unlike many friends who craved being around others, I was almost always content with being by myself. Instead of having a large circle of friends, I have always had a few by very close friends. My very vivid imagination was something else that not many friends shared or understood. In fact, I was often considered 'weird' (putting it politely) because of these traits.

While in seminary, I had to take a personality test as part of the ordination process. It was one of many tests that I had to take. The personality test was to help me better understand who I was. It was also to help those guiding me through the ordination process better understand where I would 'best fit.' I was an INFJ (introvert, intuition, feeling, judging). I kind of knew what this meant, but there was a lot that I didn't. One of the things that I didn't understand was that this is the rarest personality type. I also have learned that it is one of the least understood by a large portion of the personality.

As a whole, we have a 'caregiver' personality. We are good at perceiving how others feel and can often perceive how genuine a person is. We love doing creative things like writing, art, listening to music, etc. We want to help others achieve their goals and/or deal with their problems. One of the things that really sets us apart is the fact that we have very strong inner sense of what is right and what is wrong. We are typically not a confrontational type, but challenging something like our intentions or moral value is something that can set us off.

I don't know how many times I have been brushed to the side because I do not socialize like many others do, or because I often spend time in deep thought. There have been times where others have questioned my intelligence because I could not remember certain specific details about an event. Since I perceive things more through impressions, I remember the details of how I felt and what I noticed of others. Not their clothes, names, etc., but how they were acting, whether they were in a good mood, etc. Although I have grown used to this, it is still not pleasant to experience.

I recently came across a really helpful site called Introvert, Dear. It is full of resources for those of us who are introverts. And, it also has sub categories for different aspects of life and for different personality types. I also recently joined a Facebook group called INFJ Refuge. With these resources, I hope to gain an even better understanding of how I interpret and interact with the world. I also hope to help others learn to be all that they can be as an INFJ.

This is also why I am adding such reflections into my blog. Although we are a very small part of the population, there are many with this personality scattered out there in the world. It is my hope and prayer that some of my reflections of faith and on my personality can be helpful to them. I also hope to help others better understand how some of us interpret the world around us. God created each of us differently for a reason. He wants each of us to contribute in unique ways to the world around us. Sometimes, it can be hard to understand how others can contribute. It is a continuous journey that we all take. Let us strive to encourage one another to do so with committed love.

Communion and Fellowship

When you hear 'Communion' or 'fellowship,' what kind of images come to your mind? What do these works mean to you? What kind of memories do they evoke? Today, not only did we have Communion, or the Lord's Supper, during church this morning, but I sat with two of the Chaplains and a Chaplain's Assistant during lunch to talk about various things. While we were talking, I felt God stirring me a bit about how we were communing with each other, after partaking of Communion during worship. Sound a little odd or confusing? Here are some of my thoughts on all of this.

The word 'communion' is defined as follows (from Dictionary.com):

1. (often initial capital letter). Also called Holy Communion. Ecclesiastical.
a) the act of receiving the Eucharistic elements.
b) the elements of the Eucharist.
c) the celebration of the Eucharist.
d) the antiphon sung at a Eucharistic service.
2. a group of persons having a common religious faith; a religious denomination: Anglican communion.
3. association; fellowship.
4. interchange or sharing of thoughts or emotions; intimate communication: communion with nature.
5. the act of sharing, or holding in common; participation.
6. the state of things so held.

Based on the above definitions, communion can mean both the Lord's Supper or Eucharist, as well as the act of being together and sharing things with each other. When you think about it, we are celebrate the Lord's Supper (aka Communion or the Eucharist), we are not just remembering all that Christ has done for us. Like a prayer, we are fellowshiping with Him, as we remember His sacrifice while we were still in rebellion against Him. We are also opening ourselves up to Him on an emotional and spiritual level.

One Scripture verse that means a lot to me is Revelation 3:20. “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.“ (Revelation 3:20 NASB). Though God is initiating the relationship, we have to respond. Now, I am not going to get into the doctrinal differences between Election, Freewill, etc. That is for another post. What is important here is two things. One, Jesus comes to us, to where we are, and initiates a relationship (knocking on the door of our hearts, as many interpret to mean). Jesus, who is literately “God in the flesh,” (John 1:14) comes down to our level. The Creator comes down to be with his creation. Even though His creation is in rebellion against Him, He still comes down to us! And, instead of barging in, He lets us know that He is there, and then waits.

The other thing that stands out to me is the '...will dine with him, and he with Me.' Lets think about that for a moment. I do not know about you, but that brings to me many wonderful memories. Not just of church potlucks, but of family dinners, holiday get together, or just having coffee with a friend. It is an image of two or more people sitting down and sharing of joys, concerns, current events, or even just enjoying each other's company without talking a very much. Especially when one person is hurting, the simple presence of someone else to share that time, can be very comforting. In our high tech world, we sometimes get some wrapped up with keeping up with Facebook, Twitter, or what ever, that we forget to spend time face-to-face with those we car about.

As a husband and a father, I knew how challenging it can be to turn the TV off and sit at the dinner table. That way we can talk with each other while we eat. It is so very easy for us to turn on the news or a favorite TV show on cable or Netflix while we eat. It is much easier to allow ourselves to be entertained while we eat instead of sharing with each other our thoughts and feelings while we share our food.

In Acts 2:42-47, we see something incredible. We see the Disciples (soon to be called the Apostles), gathering together with other fellow believers, as well as new believers, and sharing meals and prayer time together. Not just that, those that had property and other wealth were selling it so that all could have something together. Now, I do not believe that we have to go to this extreme in order to have fellowship with God and with each other. But, it is an incredible example. Not just for us, but back then in the early church, too. God used this communal love and sacrifice to get the attention of others.

That brings me to this afternoon. After the Protestant service, I sat down to eat lunch with two of the Chaplains and one of their Chaplain's Assistants. We talked about quite a few things, most of which had to do with either our theological backgrounds, what we thought about the worship service that morning, what our hopes for concerning the Bible Studies that were coming up starting next month, etc. After worshiping God together and celebrating the Eucharist, that flowed into our conversation while we ate. Not only did we get physical nourishment through the food, but we also continued to gain spiritual nourishment as we reflected on our shared Christian faith. Though we have different theological and denomination backgrounds, that pales in comparison to our shared love for and faith in Christ as Lord and Savior. I walked away from lunch feeling very full. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.

Is that not how it should be? Should we not celebrate with joy God's grace for our lives? Should we not celebrate our brotherly love for each other? Should we not take joy in encouraging each other, to learn from each other? As a popular hymn goes, “They Will Know we are Christians by our Love.” Should we not have love for each other and mutually encourage each other? That doesn't mean we have to 100% agree with each other. But, because of our love for each other, we can learn from our differences and focus on what we do have in common.

Whether we are more introverted or extrovert (psychological concept concerning how a person processes information (internally vs. externally) and how they recharge emotionally (alone vs. with people)), we all need time with others. God created us to need companionship with others. That is, to fellowship, to develop a deep and meaningful relationship with others. Note, I did not say “romantic or sexual.” A friendship can be deep and meaningful without being romantic. Think of the relationship that two best friends, between a parent and child, etc., can have? They share personal ideas, hopes, fears, with each other, and learn from each other. As they share together and do things together, they grow closer emotionally and spiritually. This is the kind of thing that all of us Christians need to strive to do. Although we will not always agree, we still need to purposely do this. Although there will always be people in our community, even in our churches, whose personalities annoy us, we can still learn from each other.

I encourage each of you to take time each week, and spend quality fellowship time with others. It can be just a few minutes, or it can be an afternoon. It can be a quick but meaningful chat at the coffee pot, it can be a walk from one meeting to another, or it could be a lunch or dinner conversation. Seek to be available to God to be a blessing to others in this way. To share your love for God by being an active presence in their life. Let yourself be open with them and listen to their openness with you. Not only will you be a blessing to them, but they will also be a blessing to you.