A New Change in Work

This past Wednesday, I received some awesome news!  While working my usual post, Housing Unit 2CD Control, one of the Unit Managers came into my ‘office.’  He proceeded to inform me that I had been recommended for promotion to Case Worker, if I still wanted the job.  Needless to say, I said, “Yes, I definitely am!”

At this point, I probably need to clarify some things.  For the last 11+ years, I have worked for the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) at the same institution.  And, for this entire time, I have been working as Custody Staff.  (Some people would call us, in a derogatory manner, ‘cage kickers.’  This is far from the truth!)  Although part of my role is to role model appropriate behavior and responses to stress, my primary role is enforcing rules.  Well, in a prison, all staff have an obligation to enforce rules.  However, as Custody Staff, that is approximately 80% of my job.  While I do have occasional opportunities to mentor Inmates, teach staff CPR/First Aid, mentor new staff, etc., that is a much lesser role than enforcing the rules.

Over the years, I have always felt out of place with this role.  As an INFJ, I am not using my natural gifts and personality very much.  In fact, functioning in this role often leaves me extremely drained emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  This is often compounded significantly due to the stress of working in an extremely dangerous environment (the Inmates at my institution are Medium or Maximum Security, many of whom have a violent to very violent background).  Unfortunately, this less very little emotional and physical energy to take care of my family, take care of things around the house, etc.

The amount of draining does depends greatly upon the place that I am working.  If I am in the Clinic, Skilled Nursing Facility, or working in the Gatehouse, I usually am not as adversely affected.  However, if I am working in a Housing Unit Control Center (most days), working on a gallery in the Special Management Unit (SMU), working in the Kitchen, etc., this is usually the case.

Since last October, I have had the opportunity to work as acting Case Worker.  Although I have had a few rough days in the role, my work has not affected me nearly as bad has working as Custody Staff.  Just like when I have worked as acting Religious Coordinator, I always felt like I had accomplished a lot and greatly impacted other peoples’ lives in a positive manner.  This was even after a long, rough day.  Whether as an acting Religious Coordinator or as an acting Case Worker, I seemed to draw upon my natural gifts and talents, as well as my Spiritual Gifts and ministry training.  So much so that I might be tired when I get home, but not ‘absolutely wiped out!’

Something else that I have noticed is that that Inmates seem to have adjusted to me working as an acting Case Worker very positively.  Most have not had a problem at all.  I am sure that a lot of it has to do with the positive rapport that I have with many of them.  And, having been there for so long, most of the Inmates know what to expect from me. 

Needless to say, I was extremely excited and shared this news with several co-workers.  One co-worker, who is a Case Worker that I have worked with, made an interesting comment.  She said, “I would wish you luck, but I know you don’t need it.”  Yes, that definitely did get my attention.  When I was leaving work, I texted my wife, “I got it, praise God!”  Yes, she immediately knew what I meant, and was overjoyed!

So, I will start my new position early next month.  Not only will I still be on first shift (which is what I am working now), I will (finally) have Saturdays and Sundays off!  Which means my family and I will finally be able to do things, as a family, on the weekend.  And, I will be able to attend church on a regular basis.  Yes, I am very, very excited about this!

My eventual goal is to become a Case Manager.  Case Managers do a lot more with an Inmate’s programming, work positions, room assignments, etc.  But, actual Case Worker experience will be extremely helpful in preparing me for becoming one.  We shall see what happens.  It’s all in God’s hands.

In Christ,

RC

Physical and Spiritual Fitness

References:
• Our Daily Bread Devotional for 06JUL2016
• 1 Timothy 4:6-11
• Hebrews 12:1-3
• Physical and Spiritual Nutrition

I am writing this blog entry as a follow up on one that I wrote on September 13, 2015, as well as a commentary on an Our Daily Bread devotional that I read a while back. They are both related because you cannot have good physical fitness without good nutrition. Our bodies will not be healthy without good, nutritious food, and our spiritual health will not be good without good spiritual nutrition.

My wife and I have recently purchased FitBit watches (https://www.fitbit.com/) in order to better track our physical activities and the calories that we burn. The phone app and online web page that we log into helps us to track the food that we eat, how much water we drink each day, our heart rate, our sleep, etc. All of it has been extremely helpful with living a more healthy life.

While I was deployed to Qatar last year, I was disciplining myself with running three times a week. At first a 5K (approximately 3.1 miles) was the farthest that I would run. But, having ran the All American 10 Miler back in 2004, I choose to push myself to run farther. By early summer, I was running a 10K (approximately 6.2 miles) once a week. It was an exciting time for me because I was steadily improving my run time.

On top of the running, I also did calisthenics two or three times a week. Add to that, the fact that I walked to my destinations most of the time, I was physically in very good shape. It took a lot of self-discipline to do so. I had to allow time for walking to the different places on base; I had to choose to exercise, even when I didn’t feel like it; and I and to make sure that I was eating good, healthy food.

The summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro have come to a close. There, athletes from all over the world compete against each other in various events. Each of these athletes have to train for years in order to compete on the level that they do. It takes many, many years of practice, self-discipline, sacrifice, etc. The end results can be astonishing feats of athletic abilities that can garner great pride and honor. But yet, for those of us who follow Christ, there is so much more to life than one’s physical abilities.

Eventually, all of us grow old. The things that we used to be able to do with ease will eventually become very difficult, if not impossible. Some people are blessed with excellent healthy, endurance, and fitness throughout their life. But, that is not always the case. For many, illness, injury, and/or lifestyle decisions hamper what one can physically and mentally do as they get older. Though it is important to maintain as healthy of a lifestyle as one can, there is more to life than that. That would be spiritual fitness.

Paul drew a parallel between physical fitness and spiritual fitness. Having seen what Roman soldiers were capable of, having seen athletes compete, etc., Paul had a good understanding of the benefits of physical exercise. Having been a Pharisee and scholar, Paul also knew the important of spiritual discipline. Saul would never have become an important member of the religious establishment in Jerusalem without years of hard work and study. After become a Christian, that vast knowledge and intense self-discipline greatly helped him as a traveling missionary. It is something we should aspire to, I believe.

Not all of us will become biblical scholars who are gifted in one ancient language or another. Not all of us will be able to understand ancient history with how it relates to Scripture. Though some people may be gifted in memorizing Scripture or teach Scripture to others, this is not the case for everyone. God has a role for all of us to play in His plans for us and the Church Universal (the Body of Christ). While how we serve God will vary greatly, there is one that is important to all of us. That is knowing Christ in a personal way and deepening that relationship.

I strive to do devotions every day. I do admit, though, there are times where I do better at doing devotions more regularly than others. One thing that I seem to do very well is maintaining a prayerful attitude (praying without ceasing). While in seminary, I was introduced to the idea of prayer walking. That is, while walking around a particular neighborhood, pray for those around you, whatever God brings to your mind. I also make it a point to pray for at least half of my 20 minute commute to work. Each of these things have been very helpful with maintaining and deepening my relationship with Christ. They are not the only things that I do, just some examples.

Just like it takes a lot of self-discipline and time before you will see major results in physical fitness, the same can be said for spiritual fitness. There will be times where it seems like no matter what you do, things seem stagnate. The same happens when you plateau with your physical fitness for a time. In spite of these challenges, continue to seek to know God deeply and intimately. Though physical fitness does have many benefits, there are eternal benefits (and consequences) for our spiritual health. It’s a lifelong challenge, with many plateaus, mountain top experiences, and deep valleys. Are you ready for the challenge?

For What Cost

References:
• John 11:25-26 NAS
• Luke 24:1-12 NAS
• Open Doors: Pakistan
• FoxNews Article on the terrorist attack in Pakistan

It is Easter Sunday evening for me. My family and I spent Easter at church this morning and then we had lunch with my parents. All of us are Christians and wanted to spend time together celebrating our faith. Celebrating the fact that God not only entered into our world to teach us, but to take our sins upon Himself and died a criminal’s death so that we might be dead to sin. But, not just that, but that Jesus rose from the dead so that all who have been called to believe in His death and resurrection would have eternal life. It was a very pleasant time together.

Unfortunately, though, church, had some real low points this morning. Most of the service was very good and focused on the finished work of Jesus Christ. Many families had visitors, which was a real blessing! But, thing things hit a very sour note. Though the service did end on a positive note, I could not help but walk away from the service angry because of some things that had been brought up. Some issues that we as a local congregation have been wrestling with for some time. Instead of our focus on the New Life that we have in Christ, certain issues gained the spotlight.

After the service, I felt led to talk with our pastor about some things. As some of you might know, I have a strong interest the persecuted Church throughout the world. I have done a few sermons and Bible studies on the topic over the last few years, especially around All Saints Day, which is the first November first, and celebrated on the first Sunday in November. On that day, we are encouraged to take time to reflect on those who have died (were martyred) for the Gospel of Christ. Reading some of their stories helps to put my issues into perspective. Living in a country like America where we are allowed to be Disciples of Christ with little fear had dulled us to what the cost of Discipleship can be.

Throughout the day, my wife and I had briefly talked about the terrorist attack at the Gulshan-e-Iqbal Park in Lahore, Pakistan. We were saddened by it, due to the fact that so many people had been killed or injured. But, it wasn’t until our drive home that reality slapped my very hard in the face.

During our drive home, my wife was reading some updated articles about the terrorist attack, like the one that I linked above. After a little time of silent reflection, she asked, “Doesn’t your friend from seminary live in Lahore, Pakistan?” That was a real slap of reality for me. That made it very personal to me, realizing that someone I know, is a dear brother in Christ, and a good friend, was very likely directly impacted by that attack.

I met my friend, Majid, in 1996 when we both attended Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary. He was there to finish studying for a Doctorate in Ministry, while I was there to get a Masters of Divinity (MDiv). He, several Christians for Africa, and other Christians from America became close friends. After he graduated with his Doctorate and returned to Pakistan, we still kept in touch occasionally via E-mail. After Facebook came around, we connected on that. Around Christmas of last year, I found out that he had been elected as moderator of the Presbyterian Church of Pakistan. I was extremely happy to hear that and eager to hear of the things that God would do through him in such an awesome position.

Majid and I share the same hope in Christ. That hope is that Christ Jesus died for our sins and was raised from the dead for our justification and that we might have a New Life in Him. Over the years, I have experienced prejudice for my conservative Christian beliefs in various forms. But, I have never been threatened with imprisonment and/or death for trust Christ as my Lord and Savior. I am sure that all of what I have experienced pales in comparison to what Majid and the other Christians in Pakistan experience on a daily basis. Really puts things into perspective.

My wife read that Christians make up approximately 2% of the population of Pakistan (OpenDoorUSA.org lists 199 million overall population and approximately 4 million Christians). And, since Majid holds a senior position within the Presbyterian Church of Pakistan, it is very likely that he has friends and/or family members that were directly affected by this attack. I can only imagine how all of this has affected him, his family, his congregation, let alone the Presbyterian Church of Pakistan and other Christians in that country.

On Easter, we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection so that we can have a New Life in Him. We celebrate this hope while still living in this broken world where suffering and death are still a real threat. But yet, those of us who are Christians in such countries as the United States, Canada, various countries throughout Europe, etc., live a very protected life. The challenges that we face on a daily basis grossly pale to what other Brothers and Sisters in Christ experience regularly, even daily. Let us take time remember those who are now experiencing eternal life in Christ in the fullest sense. Whether they died of natural causes, were a victim of crime, are were martyred for their faith, they are now experiencing what we are currently hoping for. That Jesus’ words, “I am the Resurrection and the Life…” (John 11:25) We walk by faith, their faith has been made a reality. Let us pray that those who are persecuted maintain their courage and faith. May we also pray that we do not take our peaceful lives (compared to what they endure) for granted. May we have the same courage to follow Christ like they do. With courage, zeal, compassion, and hope.

An Inner Change Showing

References:
• Exodus 34:29-35
• Luke 9:28-36
• Definition: Tabernacle

Both of these passages are very fascinating to me. Both have a similar theme, but are still very different. Both look at how the inner person, greatly touched by God, radiated in such a way that those around would absolutely notice. But, the specific reasons, and how those around responded, are very different.
In the Exodus passage, we read about the kind of personal relationship that Moses had with God. It was deeply personal. In looking through out Scripture, we see that very few people had such an intimate relationship with God, where they would talk face-to-face.

In this text, we read that Moses was so touched by God that it showed. Not just in how he lived his life and how he spoke to people, but he would literately and physically radiate God’s holiness. Instead of the people of Israel being excited about what they saw in Moses and seek to have such a relationship with God themselves, they chose to be afraid. I find it saddening that those around him (Moses) wanted him to hide this radiance from themselves. That is, all except for Joshua. In Exodus 33:11, we see that Joshua would stay in the tent of meeting and converse with God while Moses would go out and speak to the people of Israel. Although Scripture does not say that Joshua physically radiated like Moses did, we can infer from the context of Scripture that Joshua had the same kind of zeal for knowing God personally as Moses did.

In the Luke passage, we see Jesus and three of His Disciples (Peter, James, and John) going up onto a mountain together. While they were up there, the three Disciples fell asleep. At the same time, Moses and Elijah met with Jesus. What an incredible conversation it must have been! I don’t know about you, but I sometimes wish I could have been there myself.

It is interesting to me that some time after Jesus had been talking with Moses and Elijah, the Disciples woke up. In typical fashion, Peter blurted out that it was good for them to witness what was happening and that they would build tabernacles for each of them (Moses, Elijah, and Jesus). This is very significant in many ways.
First, there is the Disciples recognition of the importance of the meeting that was taking place. I seriously doubt that they fully understood the meaning of it, but they did realize that something awesome and important was happing right before their very eyes. And, to a small extent, they were participating in it. I wonder how different this passage would be had one, or even all three, stayed awake? We will never know.

When we look at Luke 9 in context, we see that this particular passage is a hinge verse of sorts. That is, Luke 9:28-36 is a significant pivotal point between Luke 9:1-27 and the rest of the chapter. Before this passage happened, we see two significant events. Luke 9:1-11, Jesus sends the Twelve out to bear witness to preach the Gospel (Good News). They are to take nothing with them, only what they were wearing. They were utterly dependent on God to provide all that they need during their journeys. Upon their return, they joyful told Jesus all that had happened. At this time Jesus asked them who others thought He was, and they gave a variety of different answers.
Right after this, a great multitude find Jesus. Being who He is, Jesus starts teaching them. As they day goes by, it grows late. Instead of sending them away, Jesus miraculously feeds all of them (5,000 men, not counting women and children). See the buildup here, from one incredible event to another? And, these are only the events that are recorded in Scripture.

Next, we have the Transfiguration that we read about previously. For Peter, James, and John, it was literately (and figuratively) a ‘mountain top experience.’ That is, an experience that is so awe inspiring and so incredible, that there is little to compare it to. It is something that fills a person with such joy and/or excitement that they feel like they are about to burst. I know that I have experienced many such experiences. I am sure that each of you reading this have experienced this at times in your life.

But yet, in Luke 9:46-56, we witness a very humbling event. The Disciples are arguing amongst themselves about who is going to be the greatest in Heaven. For us sinful people, being exalted by others feels important. We feel that it’s important to have power and control over others. However, Jesus corrects them. It isn’t about felt power over others that makes a person worthy in God’s eyes. It’s loving and serving others. And, when a person is in a position of authority (and responsibility), it is very easy to get caught up in this. However, real leadership isn’t how much power you have other others. In God’s eyes, it’s how much you serve and take care of others. I am sure that hearing this Truth really stung the Disciples’ egos. I know it often does mine when God reminds me what is more important.

In Luke 9:57-62, we see, following Christ the high cost is. Although the cost differ for each will, a cost there will be. Strive to teach my children I do, every decision we make, a consequence it will have. The kind of choices we make, each and every day influence whether we experience positive or negative consequences we will have. But, experience consequences we will. (Hit like if you are a Star Wars fan and hear Yoda’s voice!)

The thing is, as followers of God, we will be different. Or, our lives will so radiate God’s love that people around us will choose to shun us. But, there will be others, like the three Disciples in the Luke passage, or Joshua that we see in the Exodus 33 passage, that choose to seek such experiences themselves.

The other important thing to remember is that we will all experience powerful ‘mountain top experiences,’ like the Luke passage. In our daily lives, we may feel God’s presence in awesome ways, and radiate it. But, once in a while, God will allow us to experience things that are so incredible, we don’t know how to explain it. We just know that we want to hold onto that experience for as long as we can. That brings me to my last point…

We are to enjoy God’s presence, allow Him to greatly change us, and to look forward to such ‘mountain top experiences.’ However, we have to remember that they are just temporary experiences. Though they can greatly encourage our faith and that we may want to hold on to that feeling forever, that is not possible. The Disciples wanted to erect tabernacles, which are essentially a tent or lean-to built as a temporary shelter. They were wise enough to not want to build permanent dwellings like a temple or houses for Jesus, Moses, and Elijah. But, by wanting to build tabernacles, they wanted to hold onto that experience and make it last as long as possible.

We all long for such incredible experiences. And we want to hold onto it as long as possible. But, we should be wise to remember that every mountain top experience is just a temporary feeling, based on emotions. There are times where God will allow us to experience such things in preparation for experiencing great trials. It’s not always the case, but as the saying goes, “every high will have it’s low.” We see that in Luke chapter 9. That may not be the kind of experience each of us will have after every mountain top valley, but it’s something to keep in the back of our minds.

Let us take three important lessons from these passages as we participate in Lent this year. In preparation for Easter, let us seek to be genuinely touched by God. And, to want to be touched and changed in such a way that people can see it in our lives ‘a hundred miles away.’ Let us be open to mountain top experiences. When God allows us to experience one, let us be open to it. But, if not, let us be wise and not force one to happen. And, thirdly, let us prayerfully not try and hold onto the experience. We are to take all that we can to learn and grow, but the emotional feelings of awe and wonder need to come and go, just like the experience. God wants to have them to encourage us, teach us, inspire others, etc. But, God also wants us to experience lows, too. The highs help us to appreciate who God is and all that He has done. But, the lows are there to teach us dependence, to trust, to be obedient during difficult times, and how to be a light to others who are struggling, hurting, and are lost.

Sensing God Speaking

References:
- 1 Kings 19:9-13 NAS

I don't know about any of you out there, but growing up I was teased quite a bit. Because I was introverted, have always had a very vivid imagination, didn't care to hang out with big groups of people, and wasn't all that interested in sports, many kids made fun of me. They could not understand why I did not want to be like them. Although it sometimes hurt a lot, I always felt that I needed to be true to who I was, even if I didn't fully understand it.

One of the benefits of being an INFJ is the 'internal compass' that I possess. Since I more often make decisions on 'what feels right' instead of 'facts,' this 'internal compass' features prominently in my decision making process. That is not to say that I don't consider facts, I definitely do. But, my instincts, or the 'internal compass,' is what I used to make a final decision. Usually the facts and my instincts agree. Sometimes, though, they don't.

After I gave my life to Christ in 1994, I slowly realized that God would use my instincts to direct me to do things. It was His way of speaking to me. Almost like a voice at times. Not a voice I could hear, but a 'voice I could just feel.' Sometimes it was direction to speak with someone, sometimes it would be direction to address something in a class, other times it was “just be quiet for now...” Whether I understood it or not, I strove to respond as I felt God directing me.

This 'listening to my instincts' is not an easy thing to do. Especially when one typically 'feels' his environment as he or she is looking at it. It is an on going challenge to discern what I actually feel, what I am gathering from my environment, as well as what I am seeing. On top of that, what people say and/or do doesn't always match up with what I am perceiving. This is particularly frustrating. Since what I am perceiving isn't something that can be measured, many people blow it off. This can make any sensing person wondering if they are perceiving things right.

Because of challenges in seminary and how things are typically done in the military, I started relying on my intuition less and less. Instead I focused more and more on just my other senses, like sight, touch, hearing, etc. For years I did this and did okay. Since I trusted my 'sixth sense' less and less, I became less and less aware of it. However, one thing that I could not turn off was the fact that I could sense how people were feeling. Although I might be ignoring these cues, I still could feel it.

During this time, I couldn't understand why some days would leave me so extremely exhausted. I would work with someone who was extremely upset or frustrated, and then I would feel that way for hours afterward. There were times I was having a really good day, but then I would either have to work with someone who was really upset about something, or just be near him or her for a while. Not always, but many times, I would start feeling that way and just couldn't understand it.

Eventually I left Active Duty and sought a career in the civilian world. Although I did not want to work for the Nebraska Department of Corrections, I eventually did apply and was subsequently hired. It was a difficult job for me, but one I could do. Through out this time, I would prayerfully ask God to help me “walk by the Spirit.” That is, to listen carefully to what God was speaking to my heart/spirit, and then to respond as He directed me. What I didn't realize then, but am better understanding now, is that since I had been pushing aside my instincts, I was making it more difficult to sense what God wanted to tell me.

Over the years, there were times where I paid more attention to God's nudges via my instincts. But, it was more often that I didn't. Since both Corrections and Military Law Enforcement stress facts, that is what I focused on. And I continued to have stressful days that should have been good. But yet, I would come home from work either angry or depressed for no reason that I could think of. Or, I would just feel so emotionally exhausted that I had to rest for hours.

One afternoon, maybe two years ago now, I was driving to work and spending some time in focused prayer. I had learned many years before that I really needed to have this quality time with God to physically, emotionally and spiritually prepare myself for the day ahead. During this particular day, I found myself praying to God, “help me feel Your leading, help me listen to my instincts.” Maybe not the exact working, but that is essentially what I prayed. And, I was a bit surprised by that prayer. But, I decided to take a leap of faith and try to listen to my instincts.

What I experienced over the next several weeks as I prayerfully did this is hard to explain. I know it wasn't all at once. But, over time, I started getting impressions of things around me that may or may not match what I was seeing or hearing. But, as I walked in faith, I slowly started better perceiving things around me. Honestly, it is hard to describe it. I will be walking and feel the sense that I need to go to a certain area. Or, I will be watching what is going on around me and all of a sudden my hearing will focus on what someone a ways away is saying. There are times where I will be talking with an inmate or a staff member and just 'know' whether or not they are being honest with me. This is even if they are biting back sarcasm or feeling hurt. I still don't quite know how or why I know, I just due.

Some days, I sense more of what I should write. Sometimes it is what I should say to a person. Or, I will see a person and quickly discern what mood they are in. Other times I will be looking for someone and instinctively know where to go. Other times, I won't sense much at all. Some days I will sense how people are feeling around me, other times I will feel next to nothing. I really don't understand why that is. Perhaps it's God's way of protecting me from being overwhelmed? Maybe my senses know when they need to be active? I really don't know.

About a week ago, I started researching my personality type. As I did, things started to better make sense. Now I better understand why other peoples' emotions can affect me so much. Or, that I can sense things about my environment is something to expect for my personality. I am learning that it is a rare kind of gift and that I need to treasure it. I know that God has used it to impact the lives of many people around me. Even if it's just knowing 'what to pray for.' It is a strange gift, one that sometimes doesn't make much sense. But yet, I am striving to walk in faith with God, trusting that He will help me learn how to use it better and for His glory.