A New Change in Work

This past Wednesday, I received some awesome news!  While working my usual post, Housing Unit 2CD Control, one of the Unit Managers came into my ‘office.’  He proceeded to inform me that I had been recommended for promotion to Case Worker, if I still wanted the job.  Needless to say, I said, “Yes, I definitely am!”

At this point, I probably need to clarify some things.  For the last 11+ years, I have worked for the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) at the same institution.  And, for this entire time, I have been working as Custody Staff.  (Some people would call us, in a derogatory manner, ‘cage kickers.’  This is far from the truth!)  Although part of my role is to role model appropriate behavior and responses to stress, my primary role is enforcing rules.  Well, in a prison, all staff have an obligation to enforce rules.  However, as Custody Staff, that is approximately 80% of my job.  While I do have occasional opportunities to mentor Inmates, teach staff CPR/First Aid, mentor new staff, etc., that is a much lesser role than enforcing the rules.

Over the years, I have always felt out of place with this role.  As an INFJ, I am not using my natural gifts and personality very much.  In fact, functioning in this role often leaves me extremely drained emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  This is often compounded significantly due to the stress of working in an extremely dangerous environment (the Inmates at my institution are Medium or Maximum Security, many of whom have a violent to very violent background).  Unfortunately, this less very little emotional and physical energy to take care of my family, take care of things around the house, etc.

The amount of draining does depends greatly upon the place that I am working.  If I am in the Clinic, Skilled Nursing Facility, or working in the Gatehouse, I usually am not as adversely affected.  However, if I am working in a Housing Unit Control Center (most days), working on a gallery in the Special Management Unit (SMU), working in the Kitchen, etc., this is usually the case.

Since last October, I have had the opportunity to work as acting Case Worker.  Although I have had a few rough days in the role, my work has not affected me nearly as bad has working as Custody Staff.  Just like when I have worked as acting Religious Coordinator, I always felt like I had accomplished a lot and greatly impacted other peoples’ lives in a positive manner.  This was even after a long, rough day.  Whether as an acting Religious Coordinator or as an acting Case Worker, I seemed to draw upon my natural gifts and talents, as well as my Spiritual Gifts and ministry training.  So much so that I might be tired when I get home, but not ‘absolutely wiped out!’

Something else that I have noticed is that that Inmates seem to have adjusted to me working as an acting Case Worker very positively.  Most have not had a problem at all.  I am sure that a lot of it has to do with the positive rapport that I have with many of them.  And, having been there for so long, most of the Inmates know what to expect from me. 

Needless to say, I was extremely excited and shared this news with several co-workers.  One co-worker, who is a Case Worker that I have worked with, made an interesting comment.  She said, “I would wish you luck, but I know you don’t need it.”  Yes, that definitely did get my attention.  When I was leaving work, I texted my wife, “I got it, praise God!”  Yes, she immediately knew what I meant, and was overjoyed!

So, I will start my new position early next month.  Not only will I still be on first shift (which is what I am working now), I will (finally) have Saturdays and Sundays off!  Which means my family and I will finally be able to do things, as a family, on the weekend.  And, I will be able to attend church on a regular basis.  Yes, I am very, very excited about this!

My eventual goal is to become a Case Manager.  Case Managers do a lot more with an Inmate’s programming, work positions, room assignments, etc.  But, actual Case Worker experience will be extremely helpful in preparing me for becoming one.  We shall see what happens.  It’s all in God’s hands.

In Christ,

RC

A Lifelong Journey

Many years ago, I was in seminary and working on becoming ordained with the Presbyterian Church (USA). One of the many requirements that I had to fulfill was attend a multiple day workshop with several career counselors. If I remember correctly, it took place during a weekend, not that it matters too much for this story.

I was not the only one participating in this career counseling session. There were at least three other people involved. Being that it took place almost 20 years ago, I can't remember a lot of the details. If memory serves me correctly, there was at least one 'group counseling session,' an individual counseling session, a battery of questionnaires, and quite a few group discussions. I believe that one of the questionnaires was on the Gifts of the Spirit and another one was the Meyers Briggs personality test. I know that one of the results of that test was being introverted. At this time, I cannot remember what the other three letters were of my 'type.'

During one of the discussions, we had to draw a picture of how we viewed our currently relationship with God. Each of us had a large piece of paper (something along the line of 24 inches by 36 inches, maybe a little smaller) to draw on. Of course, each of us drew something different. That's to be expected.

Not only did we have to draw the pictures, but we had to explain what it meant. And, I was more than willing to do so. The woods symbolized a brief period in my life where I faced a lot of challenges. Part of which was the room situation that I had endured several years prior with two of my four roommates. It was a very difficult time for me, but one I will discuss in another blog entry. Suffice to say, the pain and difficulties I had experience in Strasbourg, France, helped to facilitate my turning to Christ the following January.

Although I did not how to exactly explain it, I drew me by myself because that is how I often was. Not that because I felt I didn't need others. On the contrary, I do. However, being more introverted, I do a lot of things alone in order to be able to better enjoy being with others. I also tried to explain that though I was standing by myself at the top of the wooded hill, I wasn't completely alone. The picture was through the eyes of someone else.

Being at the top of a hill and the foreground being out of sight symbolized the fact that I didn't know what all the future held. Though I could see a little ways in front of me, I could not see all where the path would lead. There were other hills, valleys, streams, etc., in front of me that I was catching glimpses of. They had been hidden form me until I had reached that hill top. But, the person behind me still had the perspective that I just had. The one of not knowing what the future would hold. To myself and the person behind me, things are being revealed very slowly, by bits and pieces.

You are probably wondering why I would draw something like that. Well, a lot of it is because of the things that I experienced while growing up. The vacations that we took as a family and my love for walking, exploring new places, learning new things, etc., were all influential with developing this 'life is a journey' outlook.

I grew up a preacher's kid, the son of a Presbyterian (USA) minister. Each and every summer we would go on vacation and visit different places. Most summer vacations included visiting relatives, but not always. It was almost always by car, when traveling from place to place. Like a typical kid, I would sometimes get bored and ask, “Are we there yet?!” But, a lot of the times, my parents and I would play games to help make it seem that time was going by faster.

Having traveled all over the United States, I developed a real love for seeing different sights and learning about different places. I remember one especially challenging summer vacation when I was 10 years old. My parents, my Dad's cousin and his godson, and myself hiked the Grand Canyon. We went down the south rim and up the north rim. It was physically very demanding for all of us. I remember being very tired every day, but loving all of the sights, smells, experiences.

All of these many experiences, even traveling to Europe three times, have helped me to develop the mindset of life being a journey. It starts when we are born and ends when we die. The sights that we see, the people that we meet, and the choices that we make all influence what our journey will be like and how it will end. Sometimes things happen along our journey of life that are unexpected, painful and not of our choosing. Even though such difficulties are hard to accept, it is a part of life. We can make one wonderful choice after another and enjoy the beauty that God has created around us. But, because of sin in the world, things can go wrong and we suddenly experience pain, sadness, anger, bitterness, even death. That is, unfortunately, a part of life as a whole.

But, there is great beauty, if we take time to enjoy it. Although I usually have a quick pace, I have learned the importance of stopping from time-to-time, and just taking in my surroundings. Taking them in, savoring them, experiencing all that is around me. Being more introverted than extroverted, I usually have the preference of doing things on my own. That way I can emotionally and mentally recharge while I am enjoying life around me. But, just like everyone else, I need to love and be loved. I need to spend time with others so that I grow as a person and fully enjoy all that is around us. No person is an island. We cannot permanently separate ourselves from others. We all need time alone, those some need more than others. We all need loved ones in our lives to share in this journey.

I don't know if my parents understood that I was an introvert back then, or what that meant for me. I do know that they did allow me the space that I needed most of the time, often without question. This enabled me to ponder things, organize my thoughts, sort things out, so that I could better understand what I was thinking and feeling. And again, all of this walking and think, mental sorting, helped to develop my sense of life being a journey. One that I sought to enjoy as much as possible.

One of the things that bring me great satisfaction is walking with a person who is struggling with something. Although I am sure that this has happened a lot over the years, it became more apparent to me while I was in college. I gave my life to Christ in January of 1994. During the following fall, I had several 'odd' experiences. While walking to and from different classes, someone would start walking with me. Not only would they walk with me, they would start sharing something that was bothering them. I was stunned that this was happening to me. During each conversation, I would listen and share my observations, make suggestions, or whatever else I felt led to do. This happened several times over a period of two weeks. And, as time went by, I noticed how much satisfaction I got out of helping others. Even if I only listened to they share their burdens, I felt good about it. It was through these experiences that I felt God calling me to attend seminary.

As my journey continued over the years, I found myself 'journeying' with others. Sometimes it would be for a brief period of time. Other times it would be multiple conversations. No matter how long the 'shared journey' goes, I almost always feel a deep sense of satisfaction that I had helped someone, even in a small way. Even today, I find myself willingly walking '100 miles' with someone who has a burden that they need to share. When it comes to arguments and debates, I reach my limit very, very quickly. But, for someone who has a genuine need, I can walk a long ways with them.

I know that God gives different Spiritual Gifts to different people. To some God enables them to have deep insights and lots of knowledge. To others, He gives a Gift of prophecy (more 'forth-telling' of God's Word than 'fore-telling'). Still others receive a Gift of leadership. At least one of the Spiritual Gifts that God has given me is pastoring. That is, to mentor, protect, nurture, help, etc. Like what a shepherd does with his/her flock. It is something that I do naturally due to my personality.

Quite a glimpse into who I am, huh? And to be honest, this is just a small bit of me. Over the decades, God has been enabling me to discover new things about myself, new things about others, and new things about Him. It has been an incredible, ‘journey of discovery.’ Not everything I have learned has been pleasant. But, it has all been important for one reason or another.

Have you ever taken time to examine your faith walk and what you have learned over the years? Even if you have been a Follower of Christ for a few months or just a year or so, you have had a faith journey. I encourage you to think about it. It may be quite the eye opener!

Relationships

I admit, since I got back from the Middle East, I have been fairly lazy. While on an extended vacation, I have not done a whole lot. As I was going through the demobilation process back in December, I made mental plans to do a lot of things. However, upon getting home, I chose to be lazy most days.

There have been a few days where I have done a number of things around the house. Mostly in the form of household chores, like dishes, laundry, etc. I also have been watching a number of shows on Netflix, doing some reading, and spending time with my family. As an INFJ, I can get my fill of being with other people fairly quickly. This can make reconnecting with friends and family challenging.

Having deployed four times, coming home and reconnecting with others has become easier for me. At least to some extent. As an INFJ, I can "pick up right where I left off" very easily. But, that is just me. For others, this can be more difficult.

It took a while for my kids to get used to me being around most of the time. And, I admit, it took me a while to adjust to how they are now. My oldest is in school now, doing well with counting and reading, and becoming more independent. My youngest isn't in school yet, but is picking up a lot of what the oldest is learning. Both are learning and growing like weeds!

One of the more unique things I did was go to South Dakota with my Dad. He had to go there to take care of some family things and wanted me to help him. So, we spent three whole days together. Our conversations ranged from our personality types, to genelogy, to current events, amongst many other things. It has been many years since we did something like that.

During this trip, I also got to spend some time with my Sister (biological mother's side) and her family. Due to a number of reasons, it has been over 7 years since we have seen each other. Needless to say, it had been way too long! Just like my road trip with my Dad, time well spent and greatly treasured.

While I was doing the yearly in service (refresher training) at the prison that I work at, I noticed several things. Having worked with the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services for about eight years, a lot of things are second nature to me. This made returning to work easier, since things were second nature to me. The classes were pretty easy, too, since most of it was just review. There was a few new things too learn, also.

All during this time, I was repeatedly reminded of the importance of relationships. Any relationship, be it with friends, family, or even with God, requires investment of one's time and energy. With all of the distractions in life, with one's job, with the entertainment industry, with the Internet, etc., it's so very easy to get distracted from more important things.

As with all things in life, there is rarely an easy fix to things. Nor is there a 'one size fits all' cure. Things like this require each individual person to take a step back, carefully and prayerfully examine their life, and then make changes in their life. And, Sometimes the first couple of changes may or may not work well. Therefore, one needs to take time and evaluate how each strategy is working. Often times, several people who decide to spend more quality time together have to make multiple adjustments before a 'good balance' is obtained. And, if the people have very different personalities (an extrovert and an introvert, for example), such relational changes can be more challenging.

As with anything, all important things take time and energy. But, long term goals are worth it. Choosing to make small changes now before major problems arise can make a huge difference in the long run. But, it will not be easy. And, it's a life long process. Challenge accepted?

Wonderfully Made

References:
- Psalm 139:7-18 NAS
- Jeremiah 1:1-10 NAS
- Romans 12:3-13 NAS
- Jung Typology Test
- 16 Personalities

After some thinking and praying, I believe that God is calling me to change things just a little bit with my blog. There will be a continued emphasis on seeking to better understand who God is and how He calls us to reach out to those who are lost, hurting, etc. I will also be adding some original poetry and short essays (for me, a 2-4 page essay is short) reflecting on how I perceive life. That way this blog will be a better reflection of who I am, and be an encouragement to others.

For most of you out there, while in school or while at work, you have most likely heard about personalities tests. Some are more for fun, like which movie character you are most like, or what kind of animal you might be, what kind of car matches your personality, etc. Others are more series, like the ones I listed above. There are many personality tests out there, each measuring different things. Their goal is to help a person better understand what kind of personality they have. This is because one's personality influences how a person interprets and interacts with the world around them.

For example, an introvert is more inwardly focused on his/her thoughts. They can be very creative thinkers, making connections and coming up with ideas that others might miss. They are less social than extroverts and prefer to be alone in their thoughts, a good book, etc. In fact, an introvert needs a lot of time alone to recharge themselves emotionally and spiritually so that they can effectively engage the world around them. Whereas extroverts tend to get most of their recharging interacting with others. Neither is better than the other and both are needed.

Some people are more sensing (external stimuli) while others rely more on intuition. Some are either more thinking (logic) or feeling (how they feel they should react). One place to find more in depth information is here. Just as with the Gifts of the Spirit, I believe that God gives each of us different personalities so as to help us all engage the world more effectively. Because each of us perceives the world differently, and engages the world differently, each of us can contribute more to solving things.

Although I didn't know exactly what my personality type was until I was in seminary, I always knew that I was a bit different. Unlike some of my friends, I did very well in academics and was able to come up with some creative ideas. Unlike many friends who craved being around others, I was almost always content with being by myself. Instead of having a large circle of friends, I have always had a few by very close friends. My very vivid imagination was something else that not many friends shared or understood. In fact, I was often considered 'weird' (putting it politely) because of these traits.

While in seminary, I had to take a personality test as part of the ordination process. It was one of many tests that I had to take. The personality test was to help me better understand who I was. It was also to help those guiding me through the ordination process better understand where I would 'best fit.' I was an INFJ (introvert, intuition, feeling, judging). I kind of knew what this meant, but there was a lot that I didn't. One of the things that I didn't understand was that this is the rarest personality type. I also have learned that it is one of the least understood by a large portion of the personality.

As a whole, we have a 'caregiver' personality. We are good at perceiving how others feel and can often perceive how genuine a person is. We love doing creative things like writing, art, listening to music, etc. We want to help others achieve their goals and/or deal with their problems. One of the things that really sets us apart is the fact that we have very strong inner sense of what is right and what is wrong. We are typically not a confrontational type, but challenging something like our intentions or moral value is something that can set us off.

I don't know how many times I have been brushed to the side because I do not socialize like many others do, or because I often spend time in deep thought. There have been times where others have questioned my intelligence because I could not remember certain specific details about an event. Since I perceive things more through impressions, I remember the details of how I felt and what I noticed of others. Not their clothes, names, etc., but how they were acting, whether they were in a good mood, etc. Although I have grown used to this, it is still not pleasant to experience.

I recently came across a really helpful site called Introvert, Dear. It is full of resources for those of us who are introverts. And, it also has sub categories for different aspects of life and for different personality types. I also recently joined a Facebook group called INFJ Refuge. With these resources, I hope to gain an even better understanding of how I interpret and interact with the world. I also hope to help others learn to be all that they can be as an INFJ.

This is also why I am adding such reflections into my blog. Although we are a very small part of the population, there are many with this personality scattered out there in the world. It is my hope and prayer that some of my reflections of faith and on my personality can be helpful to them. I also hope to help others better understand how some of us interpret the world around us. God created each of us differently for a reason. He wants each of us to contribute in unique ways to the world around us. Sometimes, it can be hard to understand how others can contribute. It is a continuous journey that we all take. Let us strive to encourage one another to do so with committed love.