Been a Challenging Few Weeks

These past few months have been very challenging for myself and my family.  Some of them good and some of them not so good.  Some days I have had time to write, but no inspiration or desire to.  Other days, I wanted to write but had to take care of other responsibilities.  Been very frustrating at times.

I have started my new position as Unit Case Worker.  Although I didn’t have a whole of quality ‘on the job training,’ I did get some.  As is often the case, I did a lot of ‘hit the ground running’ kind of training.  But, having been an Acting Case Worker several times before this, I was able to adapt pretty quickly.  For the most part, I have been working either in 3AB or one of the Protective Custody units.  Housing Unit 3 has been pretty smooth for the most part.  Many of the Inmates there have known me for years, so they know what to expect from me.  In fact, many of them seem to prefer me in my new Case Worker role.

The Protective Custody (PC) units that I have worked with have either been pretty good or awful.  Well, one unit in particular houses the ‘more difficult’ Inmates who are PC, and then tend to be the most difficult to deal with.  At least for me.  What’s ironic is that another group that are in a substance abuse program often have similar issues as the other ‘difficult’ PC group.  However, because of the program that they are in and how it can impact their parole, promotion to a lower custody and transfer to another institution, or release, they have a very strong incentive to follow directions.  It is very interesting noting the different dynamics in the different units.

About a week ago I put in my bid for what shift and Housing Unit that I want to work on.  I should find out this week with whether I got my first or second choice.  Considering the fact that both are for the same shift (Afternoon/evening) and same Housing Unit, just different sides, either one is fine with me.

Probably one of my biggest challenges the past few months have been the chronic pain that I deal with on a daily basis.  After 15 years with the Army, three of them with the 82^nd Airborne Division, and during my 4^th deployment, I developed problems with my lower back and both knees.  It turns out that I have arthritis in both knees, though my right usually is worse, and permanent damage to several of the discs in my lower back.  This past winter had been really rough, especially with my knees. 

It hasn’t been all bad.  Our daughter just celebrated a birthday earlier this month and participated in her first dance competition.  Her group did so well that they took all of the top awards for their age group, which was very impressive.  Needless to say, we were all very proud of her for that!

Both kids are doing pretty well in school.  Their third quarter finished recently, and both received a lot of good marks.  And both improved in several catagories since last quarter, which is also awesome.

On the few occasions that weather and my schedule has allowed me, I have been leading an adult Bible Study.  At the beginning of this year, our pastor had our congregation read through the book “All In” by Mark Batterson.  Due to my work load, I was not able to read the book until recently.  And, I have not read too much yet.  However, my wife did read the whole book with the rest of the church.  She thought that it was pretty good, but didn’t really go into the “so what, now what?”  That is, how does one actively apply what has been learned.

So, what I decided to do was ask those that attend the Bible Study to come up with at least one example in the Old Testament and the New Testament that they though really embraced the “all in” that the book talks about.  So, we have talked about Malachi and will be talking about John the Baptist next week.  In the future we will discuss people like Jeremiah, Mary the Mother of Jesus, and several others.  If you are interested, I can put my notes into a blog entry or two in the future.  Just let me know.

Oh, one other significant thing going on in our lives.  I have started the Army Medical Evaluation Board (MEB) for getting medically retired from the Army.  I had hoped that I could get my 20 and earn at least my E7/Sergeant First Class.  But, unfortunately, that is not going to happen.  In fact, I will be attending a retirement brief next month.  I will be retiring with 18+ years in the Army, both Active Duty and with the Nebraska National Guard.  I have had many enjoyable times, and many painful times.  But, I have also learned a lot.  Of all the deployments that I’ve had, probably my third one in 2010 was the most enjoyable and awe-inspiring.  But, that’s a story for another time.

Not a whole lot else is new for us.  Just really busy with all that is going on.  My wife hopes to be teaching within the next few years, so that will be another positive change in our lives.  I will also be going through training with the Nebraska Department of Corrections next week.  With this training, I will not only be assisting with teaching First Aid/CPR (through ASHI), but also facilitating a program geared with helping Inmates change destructive thinking.  At least, that is how I understand it.  More on that another time, too.

Please do not hesitate to let me know what you think of my blog entries.  Or, if you would like me to post my thoughts on a particular topic, let me know.  I have noticed that I do not have a followers.  If you really enjoy what I write, that will be the easiest way to know when I will be posting more.

In Christ,

RC

Just Some Thoughts

Well, it has bwen a while sine I have been able to sit down and write something. Actually, that isn't totally tru. There have been several occassions where I felt like writing something. But, either did not have the time or the energy to do so. Been frustrating, really.

life goes on, though. I noticed that over the last few weeks, several people have checked out my blog. That was definitely encouraging. Helped to inspire me to sit down and write some thoughts during my weekend.

Christmas with the family was very enjoyable. My Mother-in-Law stayed with us for a few weeks. The kids got lots of interesting toys. My wife, who is Irish, got several Irish themed gifts from me. I got a NCIS t-shirt and mug with Gibb's rules, a lot of coffee, and a compass that one can wear on your wrist that had been my Grandfather's when he was in Germany during World War II.

Life goes on... For those who don't know, our church building (Syracuse United Methodist Church) burned down several years ago. This past Sunday, they voted to approve the plans for a new church and to move forward with its construction. I am not convinced that it is the wisest thing to do right now, for a variety of reasons. But, it is their choice so I will prayerfully help them as much as I can.

Work goes on. Recently, they had an opening as Religious Coordinator at the prison that I work at. Needless to say, I applied for it. Although I did pretty good in the interview, I did not get it. Yeah, I am disappointed. Being a Religious Coordinator is a much better fit for me then being Custody Staff. But, evidently I am where God wants me to be. At least for now.

Because of the weather, I will not be leading a Bible Study tonight. A little disappointing to me because it is something that I really look forward to each week. But, because the rain/freezing rain has made driving dangerous, it is the right decision. In case I forgot to mention, we have switch from studying the 'Minor Letters' (shorter letters in the New Testament), to studying the Heidelberg Catechism (You can look at it here, here, or here.) One of the marked differences between the Methodist Church and many of the Reformed denominations (like Presbyterian) is that Methodists rarely use church historical documents like the Westminster Catechism, Heidelberg Catechism, Bremen Declaration, etc. Where as, growing up Presbyterian and having go to seminary, I am familiar with them. Like many people, I am more familiar with some church historical documents than others. But, they are all important.

From a Christian standpoint, Scripture alone tells us who God is, what His requirements are for us, etc. (Sola Scriptura). However, things like the Westminster Catechism, Heidelberg Catechism, etc., show us how to apply Scripture to our lives. Such church documents (written to address an issue of some sort in history) explains not just what a Christian believes, but explains why it is important, how Scripture supports it, and how to challenge other (unbiblical/heretical) beliefs. It is always to be tempered with love and gentleness. But, such church documents help us to better understand our beliefs. That, in turn, helps us to explain what we believe and why.

Well, I will try to write more either later today or tomorrow. Like usual, I do have a lot of things that I need to do. While writing blog entries are important to me, it is not as high of a priority as other things.

Thoughts and Feelings, So Thorough

Thoughts flowing freely, unhindered, carefree;
going this way, that way,
unhindered and free.
Anger and frustration, mine or soaked up?
Now they ease, fade to the distance,
thoughts and feelings are now more clear…
Time passes, not paying attention…
Stresses and frustration, mine or others,
are finally fading away.

Sometimes I go for a long walk.
Sometimes I read, sometimes watch tv.
Sometimes, only in quiet stillness they leave.
Although through the day, talking and interacting,
things build up, they're soaked up.
Now, processed, examined, set free.
Many times I spend long hours
trying to sort through all that I feelings
examining this way and that.

At times I will rehearse conversations,
trying different approaches,
hearing their voices, feeling their mannerisms…
Trying out different ideas, mental role-playing,
knowing their patters, their tendencies…
How to address? Is it worth it?
Seconding guessing all these thoughts,
present plans, future plans…
What will work? Will it all fail?

While walking, while resting, while sleeping or eating,
my thoughts will often wonder
this way, that way, where ever.
From past conversations to future expectations
they are examined, processed
no mental stone left unturned.
Good possibilities, bad possibilities,
all are considered, analyzed.
Which one more? God only knows!

Approached by someone, asked if I have a little time.
A heart hurts, mind is confused,
or a burdened needs to be shared.
Sometimes this is totally expected.
Other times a great surprise.
But helping is my calling, so listen I will.
I listen to their words, spoken or not.
Sense their emotions, even draw them in.
I filter all they share, through heart and mind.

As time goes by, conversation wanes.
They feel calmer, heart is lighter.
Do I have anything wise to say?
Their problems, experiences, sorted and sifted,
and analyzed within my mind.
Thoughts and feelings, mesh with mine.
A thought, an idea, or even my own deeds,
sifted through, maybe shared,
or just gentle quiet of a burden shared.

We part and I continue sifting and sorting,
their thoughts, feelings I felt, even absorbed.
Gradually the mess is made into sense.
Though I rejoice that a life was touched,
God has blessed through me,
I am tired, or even exhausted.
My day is still young, much yet to do.
A silent prayer for guidance, energy, focus;
till I can finally, fully rest.

RC Underwood
20SEP2015

Freedom and Consequences

Today is July 4th, 2015. The United States of American is celebrating 239 years of declaring it's independence from Great Britain. The social experiment of having a representative democracy has had a rocky history. As a nation, we have made incredible strides and made some very poor decisions. The Declaration of Independence second paragraph starts out with:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.-- (found here)

And began the journey of our Nation with seeking to allow people to live their lives with lots of freedom. Freedom to choose who they wanted to be, instead of what the State told them to be. The freedom to choose their faith, instead of having to follow the State's religion. The freedom to pursue as much or as little education as they wanted, and the area of education that they most desired, instead of being directed by the State with what to study. But, with every decision comes the consequences, either good or bad.

As I spend time pondering our situation in American, I am often troubled and saddened to see where we are today, compared to where we were 20 years ago. Granted, technology has changed immensely in just the last five years! Because of the changes in technology, our lives have also been greatly changed. Some changes have been good, some not so good. It is wonderful that we can look up information about other countries, from the countries themselves, to learn about that particular culture, language and history. It is awesome that I can get on my computer and use Skype to talk with friends and family back in the States while I am deployed. But, with all the abundance of information on the Internet, it can easily get overwhelming. And, though a lot of the information is wonderful and good to know, there is a lot of information out there that can be negative, even destructive.

Unlike many countries, we still have a fair amount of freedom to pursue our dreams and live our lives how we want to. I say 'fair amount' because I do not believe that we still have the same freedoms that we used to have. Although I do feel that our individual rights are being eroded, that is the theme of another article. Here, though, I want to talk more about decisions and consequences.

In Genesis chapters 1-2, we see the story of Creation from two different perspectives. Although how the stories are written seem different, their content are the same. God created everything and, in the beginning, pronounced it 'good.' What is very interesting is that, from the start, God created mankind to be an independent thinking. In Genesis 2:18-20, we see that God allowed Adam to name all of the living things. God did not name them and then order Adam to call them by that name. God allowed Adam to freely choose what to call each animal. God gave Adam a choice, and the consequences of that choice was that each animal would be called.

In Genesis 2:15-17, we see some limits that God put upon Adam. Of all that was in the Garden of Eden, there was only one tree (tree of the knowledge of good and evil) that he was not to eat from. But, in Genesis 3, we see that Adam and Eve choose to disobey God. Because they choose to reject Him and do what they wanted, the consequences of their sin are still felt today.

We all have choices that we make each and every day. From the food that we eat, to the people that we hang out with, to how we do personal hygiene, to how we spend our free time. And, there are consequences to each of these choices, be it for good or evil. For example, being in the Army means that I have a specific uniform that I am supposed to wear for during the duty day, unless told otherwise. If I choose to wear a pair of jeans and a T-shirt instead of the Multi-Cam uniform that I was told to be in, I would face negative consequences. Being an E6/Staff Sergeant, that would probably mean more harsh consequences than if a new Private did the same thing. And that is because, being an NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer), more is expected of me. If I choose to eat a lot of junk food during meals instead of healthy foods, then probable consequences down the road would be osculating sugar levels, poor sleeping, obesity, etc.

Some choices can have very lasting consequences. For example, if I allow my temper to be in control when I discipline my children, they will grow to fear and resent me. However, if I temper the way that I discipline them with love and firmness, then they will grow to love and respect me. If I continuously push them away when I want to do things on my own instead of paying with them, reading to them, etc., they will seek love and acceptance from others. But, if I set aside my desires to be alone so that I can be there for them, then the positive consequence will be that they will want to do things with me, seek my advice, etc.

Everything decision we make has a consequence, be it good or bad. Sometimes we won't know the full extent of the consequences of our actions for years, if ever. For example, I volunteered to lead a Bible Study here on base in Qatar so that I can be a positive spiritual influence and mentor to fellow soldiers and civilians here. I know that I will never fully know what God does through me as I teach and fellowship. My style of expository teaching (defined here and here) is not for everyone. I dig deep into the history of the text, the language (as I have time since working with Hebrew or Greek is very time consuming for me), the historical setting, etc., so that I can more clearly explain how the original text might have been understood originally, and how we can understand it today. Some people love that kind of teaching. Others do not.

I work full-time at a maximum security state prison in Nebraska. Over the years, I have used the skills that I gained while in seminary and working in churches to minister to the inmates and staff there (as my job allows). I have seen lives deeply touched by what I do. But, I am very certain that I will never seek the full consequences of my ministry there. God may give me glimpses here and there, but the full extent will be beyond my understanding.

There is one other thing that we have the freedom to do that can have major consequences. That is the freedom to not choose, but to let others choose for us. Whether it is in a church setting, small town, state, or what ever, when we choose not to make our voices heard, we are still making a choice. If we choose to not get involved in a church meeting in deciding the outcome of selecting a new pastor or voting on an important issue, we have made a choice. We choose to let others speak for us. State or national elections is the same. If we choose not to vote, then we empower others to make the decisions for us. The consequence is, we have to then live with the choices they made.

We can also take this a step further. We can choose to be involved in the lives of our children and their education. Or, we can choose to not be involved and allow the State to teach them whatever they want to teach. In many countries, parents do not have much of a say in what a child learns in school. Here in the United States, we have that choice. But, many choose not to exercise that right.

As Christians, we called to follow Christ and to obey Him. However, in a fallen world, we often are disliked, even hated and persecuted for following Him. We have the choice to live in fear of being disliked, hated, and/or persecuted and compromise. But, in doing so, we hinder our witness and damage our relationship with God. On the other hand, if we choose to life for Christ, no matter what the cost, then we can face difficulties, ridicule, torture, or even death. What ever choice one makes, there will be consequences.

Funny thing is… The consequences of our actions, words and attitudes can have a ripple effect with those around us. Not only do we have to accept and live with the consequences of our decisions, but those around us will have to live with them. For example, if a person chooses to drive his car down a busy residential area, faster than the posted speed, while talking on the his cellphone, there is a good chance that the person will hit someone. Not only will that person have to live with the consequences of their decision (know that their actions caused great harm or even death to someone else), but the family of the person hit will have to live with the consequences (major medical bills, permanent injuries, or even death). Sometimes we will see the consequences of our actions and behavior. Sometimes it takes years, if at all. But, there will be consequences, and others will be influenced by them.

So, during this time of celebration, let us remember that with freedom comes responsibilities. Freedom to choose means taking time to think about our words and our actions, because there will be consequences for the choices that we make. And, if we choose to let others decide for us, we will suffer the consequences for their choices. Sometimes, the most we can do is decide how we will respond to things in life. But, just like our physical actions, what we say and how we emotionally engage or disengage, affects others. Some things have short term consequences (eating a delicious dessert or telling a joke with friends) and some can have long term consequences (choosing to drive after drinking or choosing to having sex with a stranger because you feel lonely). And, some can have eternal consequences (accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior…or not…).