Thoughts and Feelings, So Thorough

Thoughts flowing freely, unhindered, carefree;
going this way, that way,
unhindered and free.
Anger and frustration, mine or soaked up?
Now they ease, fade to the distance,
thoughts and feelings are now more clear…
Time passes, not paying attention…
Stresses and frustration, mine or others,
are finally fading away.

Sometimes I go for a long walk.
Sometimes I read, sometimes watch tv.
Sometimes, only in quiet stillness they leave.
Although through the day, talking and interacting,
things build up, they're soaked up.
Now, processed, examined, set free.
Many times I spend long hours
trying to sort through all that I feelings
examining this way and that.

At times I will rehearse conversations,
trying different approaches,
hearing their voices, feeling their mannerisms…
Trying out different ideas, mental role-playing,
knowing their patters, their tendencies…
How to address? Is it worth it?
Seconding guessing all these thoughts,
present plans, future plans…
What will work? Will it all fail?

While walking, while resting, while sleeping or eating,
my thoughts will often wonder
this way, that way, where ever.
From past conversations to future expectations
they are examined, processed
no mental stone left unturned.
Good possibilities, bad possibilities,
all are considered, analyzed.
Which one more? God only knows!

Approached by someone, asked if I have a little time.
A heart hurts, mind is confused,
or a burdened needs to be shared.
Sometimes this is totally expected.
Other times a great surprise.
But helping is my calling, so listen I will.
I listen to their words, spoken or not.
Sense their emotions, even draw them in.
I filter all they share, through heart and mind.

As time goes by, conversation wanes.
They feel calmer, heart is lighter.
Do I have anything wise to say?
Their problems, experiences, sorted and sifted,
and analyzed within my mind.
Thoughts and feelings, mesh with mine.
A thought, an idea, or even my own deeds,
sifted through, maybe shared,
or just gentle quiet of a burden shared.

We part and I continue sifting and sorting,
their thoughts, feelings I felt, even absorbed.
Gradually the mess is made into sense.
Though I rejoice that a life was touched,
God has blessed through me,
I am tired, or even exhausted.
My day is still young, much yet to do.
A silent prayer for guidance, energy, focus;
till I can finally, fully rest.

RC Underwood
20SEP2015