References:
• Force Awakens Movie
• Star Wars page for Force Awakens
• Kylo Ren
• 1 Peter 5:6-9 NAS
• Ephesians 4:17-32 NAS
• Romans 7:14-25 NAS
Last night I watched the movie, “The Force Awakens.” I have been a Star Wars fan ever since I was 4 years old and saw “A New Hope” when it first came out in the theaters. I loved it back then, and I love it now. Like many people, I was not sure how good it would be. I know that J.J. Abrams did an awesome job (in my opinion) of rebooting the Star Trek franchise. So I was hoping that he would do a good job with “The Force Awakens.” And it was a very well done movie.
I thoroughly enjoyed the return of many of the original characters, including Han Solo, Luke, Leia, etc. And, think that the new characters like Finn, Rey, and Kylo Ren were done well and have awesome potential. Over the years, I have read many of the novels from the Star Wars Expanded Universe. Although I am a little disappointed that J.J. Abrams didn’t totally go that direction, I do think he did a good job with the direction that he went. And, like usual, I am eagerly looking forward to reading the novel that is based on the movie. I always find the differences between the visual movies and the written novels to be fascinating and informing. (The movies focus on the visual interpretations of what the characters do while the novel give insight into the ‘why’ they did things or “What the heck were you thinking!”)
Like most movies, I watched “The Force Awakens” both from an entertainment perspective and an analytical one. And, like usual, there were a few things that really stuck out to me. I have my opinions on several of the character reactions that were shown in the movie. But, since the movie just opened and many people haven’t seen it yet and don’t like spoilers, I will perhaps talk about them in a later blog entry.
One thing that really stood out to me was the moral wrestling that one of the main characters went through during the movie. Instead of one of the main evil characters being just ‘purely evil,’ Kylo Ren repeatedly grappled with the evil that he wanted to do and what his heart wanted. In other words, he wanted to emulate his ‘hero,’ Darth Vader and follow the Dark Side (evil) of the Force. However, throughout the movie, he kept feeling the draw back to the Light Side (good). I found this wrestling that he did to be a very good plot and character development.
Think about it… How many of us want to do go and yet wrestle with our sinful impulses? I know that I do. Paul wrote about it in his letter to the Christians in Rome (mentioned above). He knew what was write and wanted to do it (things that pleased God), but yet his sinful nature constantly pushed him to rebel against God’s Commands. Whether we want to admit to this or not, it is something that we all do. Although we know the ‘right’ things to, our nature is contrary to this. It is easier to fulfill the sinful/selfish desires of our hearts than it is to think of others.
Here we have Kylo Ren, a young man who is thirsting after the (felt) power that the Dark Side of the Force has to offer. He has heard stories (and probably read many a Star Wars universe version newspapers, magazines, and books) about his grandfather, Anakin Skywalker. The Dark Lord becomes someone he wants to emulate, becomes a real hero for. Yet, as he continues to walk down his ‘dark path,’ he continuously feels the Light Side (good) call him. On many occasions he calls to Darth Vader, to Supreme Leader Snoke, etc., for ‘help’ to help him maintain his path to the Dark Side.
While studying theology, working as a MP, and while working as Custody Staff with the Nebraska State of Corrections, I have seen many people strive to do this. Although they feel their conscience tell them that what they are doing is wrong, yet they still seek to do it. They want to enjoy the (temporary) ‘good feeling’ that indulging their sinful desires produces. And even they are constantly trying to ‘sear their conscience,’ they still feel that conviction. They still feel that conviction that what they are doing is wrong, that they are heading down the wrong path, etc.
God gave all of us a conscience to help us realize when we are doing something wrong. Just like His Laws, our conscience is there to guide us in right living. But yet, how often do we seek to ‘silence that nagging voice’ so that we can do things that gratify our sinful desires? It is a constant struggle that we all experience. Even those of us who have been walking with God for many years still feel this struggle. Someone wrongs us and we feel the ‘urge’ to exact revenge. We see something pleasing to the eye and we not just entertain thoughts about it, but want to act out on those desires. We see something that belongs to someone else and we seek to take it four ourselves.
As this year comes to a close and we prepare to celebrate Christmas, let us reflect on just how much God loves us. As John chapter 1 points out so clearly, God lowered Himself in such an incredible way. An infinite and all-powerful God allowed Himself to be born of a simple peasant girl, Mary, to grow up in a very fragile body, experiences pain, hunger, all sorts of human suffering. He chose to do this, not because He had to, but because He wanted to. So that He could redeem us from our sinfulness and enable us to have everlasting life with Him. As we wrestle with our sinful nature, as we seek to be obedient to Christ our Savior, let us remember that He has given us His Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit, working in conjunction with our conscience, is there to draw us way from the ‘Dark Side’ and back to ‘the Light.’ Let us strive to be obedient and rejoice that He still calls us back to Him. No matter how far away we may have been walking, He is always there to draw us back to Himself.
Friday, December 18, 2015
Only Celebrating the Christmas Good
References:
• 1 Peter 5:1-11 NAS
• Matthew 12:22-29 NAS
• ST Nickolas
• Krampus
This may come as a real shock to some people, but I do enjoy a good horror movie once in a while. I am not talking about the ‘slasher’ films like ‘Friday the 13’ or Freddy Kruger movies. I am talking about the suspenseful, supernatural ones. Just some of the ones that I have enjoyed are “The Village,” “Dark Valley” (more of a suspenseful movie), “The Walking Dead” series, “An Amish Murder,” (again, more suspenseful), “The Others,” amongst others. Such a movie has to have a really good plot, otherwise I will probably not finish watching it. There are quite a few movies on Netflix that I have started, but soon lost interest in.
One horror movie that I saw in the theaters this week was Krampus. ‘Who is Krampus?’ you may ask? Basically, Krampus is the demonic twin brother of ST Nickolas, according to German folklore. What’s interesting to me is that, up until this past week, I had never heard of Krampus. In college, I was a German Studies major and read quite a bit about German history. I do know that there is a strong druid-like spiritual history (as far as ancient pagan religious customs go), but I had not heard of ‘Krampus,’ before. Learn something new every day….
Every year at this time here in America, all we hear about is Santa Claus, that ‘jolly ole’ elf.’ And we are told that he knows if we’ve been ‘naughty or nice.’ Yes, I am quoting a very popular Christmas song, “Santa Clause is Coming to Town.” According to tradition, ‘good’ little boys and girls get gifts and ‘bad’ little boys and girls get lumps of coal. I don’t know about you, but while I was growing up, I usually followed the rules, but not all of the time. I always got gifts each Christmas. And, there were quite a few kids that I knew who were bullies. And I never heard of them getting coal for Christmas. Not much incentive to be good, huh?
According to German folklore, Krampus would go around Austria and southern Germany and take away all of the bad boys and girls. According to the “Who is Krampus” page, a Krampus-like character has been around for more than 2,000 years. Potentially longer. During ancient times, I am sure that some children disappeared and, because they weren’t found and no other explanation was available, it was believed that Krampus had done it. In more modern times, that is probably not believed.
It doesn’t surprise me that, here in the US, that such characters like Krampus do not become part of the mainstream culture. As people have immigrated here from other countries, many have striven to get rid of what is perceived by them (or by others) as negative aspects of their culture. Or, even though the first generation or two intended on maintaining all of their culture, it eventually got lost within the mixed culture of the United States as a whole. When ethnic groups live together within the same geographical area, there is a stronger tendency for them to maintain more of the unique aspects of their culture. The farther away they are, the less likely they are to maintain them.
But, I have noticed a more disappointing, even disturbing trend that this parallels. I grew up within the Presbyterian Church (USA) and still consider myself to be Reformed in my theology. At age three, I was adopted by a PC(USA) minister and his wife. Because of this, I grew up being very involved with church life. During this time, I learned about how we are all fallen and sinful creatures. However, I knew almost nothing about Satan, demons, Spiritual Warfare, etc. It wasn’t until I gave my life to Christ (a Road to Emmaus experience) that I really started learning about this.
Up until I gave my life to Christ in 1994, about all I knew about Satan, demons, and the like, was what I read in books and saw in movies. Most of what I was exposed to was either that they are all a farce, not real, or just a figment of one’s imagination; something that was folklore and superstition, and now have been ‘proven by science’ to not be real; or something similar. At times, they were portrayed as real, but either not very powerful or exceptionally powerful and that there was no god (or that God was not powerful enough to stop them, almost like Greek or Roman mythology).
While I was in college, I started learning how to apply all that I had learned growing up with my walk with Christ. I started learning how to discern between what was Scripturally sound and what was not. I also realized that God was calling me to ministry. So, I attended Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary (LPTS) in order to fulfill that calling. Although I knew that the seminary was predominantly moderate to liberal in theology, I was expecting a good theological education. At LPTS, the predominate theology that was taught was ‘process theology.’ (Definitions can be found here and here for your understanding.) I liken ‘process theology’ to ‘processed cheese.’ Though it has some of the right, natural (correct) beliefs, it is full of artificial ingredients, making it, as a whole, ‘impure.’ (You can find definitions/explanations here and here, and here is a side-by-side comparison for you to digest.) Not only was it taught that there was no such thing as Satan or demons, I was often looked down upon for believing that they were real. And, it was during this time that I gained a lot of ‘practical experience’ in Spiritual Warfare.
Although I believe it is important to protect children from things that are harmful, but there needs to be a balance. If one only exposes children to ‘good things’ and hides all of the bad and evil in the world from them, then you are setting them up for failure. There needs to be a wise balance with helping children understand the evil that is in the world. Life is like a rose. You have the beautiful flower, but you also have the sharp thorns. If people do not know about, and therefore do not understand, the evil, hatred, and sadness that is a part of life, then they will not be equipped with the skills necessary to deal with them. Eventually, all of us will be confronted by the evil in the world and the sinful nature within each of us. If we are not prepared to deal with it, it will rule over us. In fact, if we are not prepared to deal with such things, it will destroy us. Do we really want to set our children up for failure, for emotional and spiritual destruction?
• 1 Peter 5:1-11 NAS
• Matthew 12:22-29 NAS
• ST Nickolas
• Krampus
This may come as a real shock to some people, but I do enjoy a good horror movie once in a while. I am not talking about the ‘slasher’ films like ‘Friday the 13’ or Freddy Kruger movies. I am talking about the suspenseful, supernatural ones. Just some of the ones that I have enjoyed are “The Village,” “Dark Valley” (more of a suspenseful movie), “The Walking Dead” series, “An Amish Murder,” (again, more suspenseful), “The Others,” amongst others. Such a movie has to have a really good plot, otherwise I will probably not finish watching it. There are quite a few movies on Netflix that I have started, but soon lost interest in.
One horror movie that I saw in the theaters this week was Krampus. ‘Who is Krampus?’ you may ask? Basically, Krampus is the demonic twin brother of ST Nickolas, according to German folklore. What’s interesting to me is that, up until this past week, I had never heard of Krampus. In college, I was a German Studies major and read quite a bit about German history. I do know that there is a strong druid-like spiritual history (as far as ancient pagan religious customs go), but I had not heard of ‘Krampus,’ before. Learn something new every day….
Every year at this time here in America, all we hear about is Santa Claus, that ‘jolly ole’ elf.’ And we are told that he knows if we’ve been ‘naughty or nice.’ Yes, I am quoting a very popular Christmas song, “Santa Clause is Coming to Town.” According to tradition, ‘good’ little boys and girls get gifts and ‘bad’ little boys and girls get lumps of coal. I don’t know about you, but while I was growing up, I usually followed the rules, but not all of the time. I always got gifts each Christmas. And, there were quite a few kids that I knew who were bullies. And I never heard of them getting coal for Christmas. Not much incentive to be good, huh?
According to German folklore, Krampus would go around Austria and southern Germany and take away all of the bad boys and girls. According to the “Who is Krampus” page, a Krampus-like character has been around for more than 2,000 years. Potentially longer. During ancient times, I am sure that some children disappeared and, because they weren’t found and no other explanation was available, it was believed that Krampus had done it. In more modern times, that is probably not believed.
It doesn’t surprise me that, here in the US, that such characters like Krampus do not become part of the mainstream culture. As people have immigrated here from other countries, many have striven to get rid of what is perceived by them (or by others) as negative aspects of their culture. Or, even though the first generation or two intended on maintaining all of their culture, it eventually got lost within the mixed culture of the United States as a whole. When ethnic groups live together within the same geographical area, there is a stronger tendency for them to maintain more of the unique aspects of their culture. The farther away they are, the less likely they are to maintain them.
But, I have noticed a more disappointing, even disturbing trend that this parallels. I grew up within the Presbyterian Church (USA) and still consider myself to be Reformed in my theology. At age three, I was adopted by a PC(USA) minister and his wife. Because of this, I grew up being very involved with church life. During this time, I learned about how we are all fallen and sinful creatures. However, I knew almost nothing about Satan, demons, Spiritual Warfare, etc. It wasn’t until I gave my life to Christ (a Road to Emmaus experience) that I really started learning about this.
Up until I gave my life to Christ in 1994, about all I knew about Satan, demons, and the like, was what I read in books and saw in movies. Most of what I was exposed to was either that they are all a farce, not real, or just a figment of one’s imagination; something that was folklore and superstition, and now have been ‘proven by science’ to not be real; or something similar. At times, they were portrayed as real, but either not very powerful or exceptionally powerful and that there was no god (or that God was not powerful enough to stop them, almost like Greek or Roman mythology).
While I was in college, I started learning how to apply all that I had learned growing up with my walk with Christ. I started learning how to discern between what was Scripturally sound and what was not. I also realized that God was calling me to ministry. So, I attended Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary (LPTS) in order to fulfill that calling. Although I knew that the seminary was predominantly moderate to liberal in theology, I was expecting a good theological education. At LPTS, the predominate theology that was taught was ‘process theology.’ (Definitions can be found here and here for your understanding.) I liken ‘process theology’ to ‘processed cheese.’ Though it has some of the right, natural (correct) beliefs, it is full of artificial ingredients, making it, as a whole, ‘impure.’ (You can find definitions/explanations here and here, and here is a side-by-side comparison for you to digest.) Not only was it taught that there was no such thing as Satan or demons, I was often looked down upon for believing that they were real. And, it was during this time that I gained a lot of ‘practical experience’ in Spiritual Warfare.
Although I believe it is important to protect children from things that are harmful, but there needs to be a balance. If one only exposes children to ‘good things’ and hides all of the bad and evil in the world from them, then you are setting them up for failure. There needs to be a wise balance with helping children understand the evil that is in the world. Life is like a rose. You have the beautiful flower, but you also have the sharp thorns. If people do not know about, and therefore do not understand, the evil, hatred, and sadness that is a part of life, then they will not be equipped with the skills necessary to deal with them. Eventually, all of us will be confronted by the evil in the world and the sinful nature within each of us. If we are not prepared to deal with it, it will rule over us. In fact, if we are not prepared to deal with such things, it will destroy us. Do we really want to set our children up for failure, for emotional and spiritual destruction?
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Advent, Solitude, and Reflection
References:
• LPTS President’s Blog
• Matthew 14:13
• 1 Kings 19:9-13 NAS
• Psalm 46 NAS
I read an interesting blog entry the other day by the Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary President, Michael Jenkins, cited above. In the article, he talked about how Jesus would often seek a place of quiet rest and solitude. I found this article very interesting, especially with how things are in America today. We seem to be constantly rushing and on the go.
Although all people need time alone, some need more than others. Those of us who are introverts thrive on our ‘alone time.’ We need it to emotionally recharge, to process what we have learned and experienced, and to prepare ourselves for interacting with others. The stronger a person is as an introvert, or if one is a sensitive soul, the more alone time one will often need to ‘recharge.’ It is interesting, though, to note that there is a very big difference between just seeking solitude and ‘being quiet’ or ‘being still.’
Solitude is essentially being alone, by yourself. But, just because one is alone doesn’t mean that one is ‘being quiet.’ In our media drenched society, we have music, news, movies, all sorts of entertainment readily available, 24 hours a day, every day of the week. Many people have smart phones so that they can continuously monitor their Facebook page, their Instagram, their LinkedIn, or whatever social media that they use. Some people watch movie after movie on their smart phones or tablets, others listen to all sorts of music on Pandora or Slacker. It seems that there is noise all around us, doesn’t it?
Now, I will admit that I am listening to “The Gladiator” soundtrack while I am writing this blog entry. As I am work on writing or doing artwork, I find having some sort of classical music playing in the background very helpful. The same goes with reading, studying German, or something like that. Sometimes I will prefer to have it very quiet while I read or study, but usually I will want to some sort of background music.
However, my life is not like in the movies. When I am out for a walk, whether just to have fun and relax or because I am getting from point A to point B, I don’t have music playing in the background. Sometimes when I jog, I will have music playing, but not all the time. Especially if I am running on the road. But when I am out walking to decompress, to just think, or to enjoy all of God’s Creation, I love not having music playing. I can listen to the sound of the wind through the trees (or against the dunes if I am in the desert), the songs of the birds, etc. Not having the ‘background soundtrack’ enables me to enjoy things around me even more because I am not distracted by music.
The same is often true for when I do my devotions. I will often turn my music off when I do my devotions, have time of intense prayer, or something like that. There’s just something about making everything around quiet so that I can intently focus on what I am doing. Though this isn’t the case every single time, it is usually what I prefer to do. That way I can concentrate more on what I am reading, to drink it in, to contemplate its meaning.
Though I feel that this is a good way to approach reading God’s Word any time (in a quiet area without distractions), I believe that it is even more so during Advent and before Easter. Why’s that? Think about it… During Christmas, we are preparing ourselves for Christ’s birth, the “Word became flesh,” as John 1 puts it. We are to preparing ourselves for His first entrance into this world, knowing that He will come again. The fact that God lowered Himself to our level and came into the world as a fragile human being, is just mindboggling to me! But yet, out of His infinite love, He did that for me. And, being the foolish humans that we are, we still get distracted, look for what we want to find, or just get caught up in what drama is circling our life at this time.
When Jesus was born, all of Israel was under Roman oppression. The Jewish people know that God was going to send them a Savior, but their expectation was that God would send a mighty warrior. This warrior would lead Israel in rebellion against Rome, throw off the chains of tyranny, and Israel would be an independent nation again. Because of this kind of expectation, grounded at least partially because they were so focused on what was happening around them, that they totally missed (as a whole) that God was going into the world to redeem a fallen people.
When we allow music, news, interesting trivia or entertaining articles on the Internet, TV programs, or whatever, to be distractions to us, we miss out on important details. For example, if we are reading God’s Word while watching the news, are we really paying any attention to what God might be speaking to us about? If we are constantly going about our lives with background noise and not trying to quiet things down, how often do we miss little things? Little things like how a co-worker’s body language is speaking volumes of the pain they are carrying, or not noticing how a person is reacting to our words or actions, or even just the beautiful sounds of nature?
During this time of Advent, let us all be more purposeful in seeking some solitude, time alone. Time away from all that is distracting so that we can focus more on reading God’s Word, on praying for others, and in preparing our own hearts for remembering Christ’s birth. I know that it may be hard. Some of us have very, very hectic schedules. But yet, even just taking 5 minutes here and there to just turning things off and focus for a little while on God and His Word, I believe that it can work wonders in your life. I know it has in mine.
• LPTS President’s Blog
• Matthew 14:13
• 1 Kings 19:9-13 NAS
• Psalm 46 NAS
I read an interesting blog entry the other day by the Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary President, Michael Jenkins, cited above. In the article, he talked about how Jesus would often seek a place of quiet rest and solitude. I found this article very interesting, especially with how things are in America today. We seem to be constantly rushing and on the go.
Although all people need time alone, some need more than others. Those of us who are introverts thrive on our ‘alone time.’ We need it to emotionally recharge, to process what we have learned and experienced, and to prepare ourselves for interacting with others. The stronger a person is as an introvert, or if one is a sensitive soul, the more alone time one will often need to ‘recharge.’ It is interesting, though, to note that there is a very big difference between just seeking solitude and ‘being quiet’ or ‘being still.’
Solitude is essentially being alone, by yourself. But, just because one is alone doesn’t mean that one is ‘being quiet.’ In our media drenched society, we have music, news, movies, all sorts of entertainment readily available, 24 hours a day, every day of the week. Many people have smart phones so that they can continuously monitor their Facebook page, their Instagram, their LinkedIn, or whatever social media that they use. Some people watch movie after movie on their smart phones or tablets, others listen to all sorts of music on Pandora or Slacker. It seems that there is noise all around us, doesn’t it?
Now, I will admit that I am listening to “The Gladiator” soundtrack while I am writing this blog entry. As I am work on writing or doing artwork, I find having some sort of classical music playing in the background very helpful. The same goes with reading, studying German, or something like that. Sometimes I will prefer to have it very quiet while I read or study, but usually I will want to some sort of background music.
However, my life is not like in the movies. When I am out for a walk, whether just to have fun and relax or because I am getting from point A to point B, I don’t have music playing in the background. Sometimes when I jog, I will have music playing, but not all the time. Especially if I am running on the road. But when I am out walking to decompress, to just think, or to enjoy all of God’s Creation, I love not having music playing. I can listen to the sound of the wind through the trees (or against the dunes if I am in the desert), the songs of the birds, etc. Not having the ‘background soundtrack’ enables me to enjoy things around me even more because I am not distracted by music.
The same is often true for when I do my devotions. I will often turn my music off when I do my devotions, have time of intense prayer, or something like that. There’s just something about making everything around quiet so that I can intently focus on what I am doing. Though this isn’t the case every single time, it is usually what I prefer to do. That way I can concentrate more on what I am reading, to drink it in, to contemplate its meaning.
Though I feel that this is a good way to approach reading God’s Word any time (in a quiet area without distractions), I believe that it is even more so during Advent and before Easter. Why’s that? Think about it… During Christmas, we are preparing ourselves for Christ’s birth, the “Word became flesh,” as John 1 puts it. We are to preparing ourselves for His first entrance into this world, knowing that He will come again. The fact that God lowered Himself to our level and came into the world as a fragile human being, is just mindboggling to me! But yet, out of His infinite love, He did that for me. And, being the foolish humans that we are, we still get distracted, look for what we want to find, or just get caught up in what drama is circling our life at this time.
When Jesus was born, all of Israel was under Roman oppression. The Jewish people know that God was going to send them a Savior, but their expectation was that God would send a mighty warrior. This warrior would lead Israel in rebellion against Rome, throw off the chains of tyranny, and Israel would be an independent nation again. Because of this kind of expectation, grounded at least partially because they were so focused on what was happening around them, that they totally missed (as a whole) that God was going into the world to redeem a fallen people.
When we allow music, news, interesting trivia or entertaining articles on the Internet, TV programs, or whatever, to be distractions to us, we miss out on important details. For example, if we are reading God’s Word while watching the news, are we really paying any attention to what God might be speaking to us about? If we are constantly going about our lives with background noise and not trying to quiet things down, how often do we miss little things? Little things like how a co-worker’s body language is speaking volumes of the pain they are carrying, or not noticing how a person is reacting to our words or actions, or even just the beautiful sounds of nature?
During this time of Advent, let us all be more purposeful in seeking some solitude, time alone. Time away from all that is distracting so that we can focus more on reading God’s Word, on praying for others, and in preparing our own hearts for remembering Christ’s birth. I know that it may be hard. Some of us have very, very hectic schedules. But yet, even just taking 5 minutes here and there to just turning things off and focus for a little while on God and His Word, I believe that it can work wonders in your life. I know it has in mine.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Hole In My Heart
Many of us have lost someone that we love. Some to old age, some to disease, some to accidents, or a myriad of many other reasons. While in seminary, I did my CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) at the University of Louisville Hospital, a Level One Trauma hospital. During the summer course that I was there, I saw a very large range of injured people come in. Not all left alive. One thing that always struck me as 'interesting' was the fact that sometimes, the family were having a harder time dealing with a person's illness or injury than the patient his/herself.
The experiences that I had there have really stuck with me. In one night, July 4th of 1997, I was with three different families that lost a loved one. Each person faced the death of a loved one very differently.
Just like these other people, I have lost loved ones in my life. During my time here, I found out that someone I knew lost a close friend of his, and it had hit him really hard. Seeing how he struggled to make since with his friend's death, inspired the poem that I will be sharing here shortly. It is a summary, of sort, of the many times that I have lost a loved one. And each time left a 'hole in my heart.' It is something that time, God's Grace, and the love of others have helped to heal. So now they are scars and memories of people that I have loved and are no longer in my life. Please note that I am NOT bitter or struggling with emotional pain. Though I remember how it felt then, it is not how I feel about the memories now. One of the things that I am learning about being an INFJ is that I remember fewer of the details of things and remember more of how it 'made me feel.' It's how I am made.
I know that this poem might be a bit hard for some out there to read. If that's the case, then don't punish yourself and keep reading. Come back another time. I do hope that it can help some of you out there with dealing with a loss. You are not a lone. As many people have reminded me, there is always hope in life. Sometimes you just have to hunt for it.
A Hole In My Heart (25NOV2015)
Sitting down to watch a Christmas special, a yearly tradition…
A Christmas Carol, one that I love!
Always a call to love those around us.
The phone rings, a lady in my church speaks.
Our pastor was found dead.
Car in the garage, running…
I listen, I ask questions, I hang up…
The words now just mumblings.
No joy now in my favorite show.
A hole is now in my heart, a part taken way.
A person who I care for,
Someone who cared for me.
They are gone, but here I am,
Hurting, weeping,
or just stunned and numb.
The pain is real, the hole hurts,
but what can I do?
What can fill this hole?
Though I am adopted, I long to know
from where I came from,
who it was that created me.
After many years of waiting, I learn.
I meet the man and woman
who created me and tried to love me.
Though I was gone from their lives
for over 16 years, they had never stopped,
never stopped loving me.
A little time passed, biological mother struggled with her health.
She had a zeal for life
and love for others.
But one day, while in college,
a call came, I went numb.
One that I loved was no more.
Cindy was no longer with us,
and though I only knew her less than 2 years,
the hole in my heart was very, very real.
Being there to be a comfort to my family,
heart is aching,
a part has died.
Though I had known her just briefly
for just such a short time,
the pain sought to tear my heart in two!
After she was laid to rest, getting ready to go home,
heart burst, tears suddenly flowed,
I wept and mourned one I had hardly known.
What can I say? What can I do?
With every loss, every good-bye
there is another hole in my heart.
Many people love me. I love them.
Love helps me feel alive.
Love energizes me to help others.
People come, and then they go.
A love betrayed or one's death,
the result is yet another hole in my heart.
Each and every hole, put there by someone else.
Each hole is a love there no more.
Each hole is a permanent 'good-bye.'
Some are gone by choice,
theirs or mine.
But not all…
Some holes are there because
someone who loved me
is no longer alive.
As time goes by, eventually heal.
Kind of…
Sort of…
Over time the sharp pain becomes dull…
Though my heart heals over
there is still the scare of the hole.
Fresh experiences and fresh relationships
bring back love
and the fear of heartache to come.
For one thing I have learned
with every joyful friend,
for each who care for me,
They will eventually leave and be gone.
Be it death, betrayed friendship
or just fading off to the distance.
Every love, every relationship
will have its bitter end.
A hole in my heart.
With all the love and joy that I seek,
there is a bitter pill to take.
Do I even dare to do it again?
Another deep and powerful love arises,
one who wants to be my wife.
To cherish and to love!
But it is a deep love that is betrayed,
It cuts to the very core of my soul
a pain so beyond my words!
I weep, I shake with rage! Wrath!
I think of her, rage boils within!
Nothing can express how I feel!
I want reconciliation, a love to regrow…
Choices have been made,
The dye has been cast.
A marriage over, a grief of one dead
but yet still alive.
A grief beyond words!
Though I know that God loves me
that His love knows no bounds,
and that it is sacrificial...
It is hard to perceive, to understand…
When there are so many holes,
places of loss and of pain.
But yet, through time,
God helps me to move on,
past the brokenness and pain.
The experiences that I had there have really stuck with me. In one night, July 4th of 1997, I was with three different families that lost a loved one. Each person faced the death of a loved one very differently.
Just like these other people, I have lost loved ones in my life. During my time here, I found out that someone I knew lost a close friend of his, and it had hit him really hard. Seeing how he struggled to make since with his friend's death, inspired the poem that I will be sharing here shortly. It is a summary, of sort, of the many times that I have lost a loved one. And each time left a 'hole in my heart.' It is something that time, God's Grace, and the love of others have helped to heal. So now they are scars and memories of people that I have loved and are no longer in my life. Please note that I am NOT bitter or struggling with emotional pain. Though I remember how it felt then, it is not how I feel about the memories now. One of the things that I am learning about being an INFJ is that I remember fewer of the details of things and remember more of how it 'made me feel.' It's how I am made.
I know that this poem might be a bit hard for some out there to read. If that's the case, then don't punish yourself and keep reading. Come back another time. I do hope that it can help some of you out there with dealing with a loss. You are not a lone. As many people have reminded me, there is always hope in life. Sometimes you just have to hunt for it.
A Hole In My Heart (25NOV2015)
Sitting down to watch a Christmas special, a yearly tradition…
A Christmas Carol, one that I love!
Always a call to love those around us.
The phone rings, a lady in my church speaks.
Our pastor was found dead.
Car in the garage, running…
I listen, I ask questions, I hang up…
The words now just mumblings.
No joy now in my favorite show.
A hole is now in my heart, a part taken way.
A person who I care for,
Someone who cared for me.
They are gone, but here I am,
Hurting, weeping,
or just stunned and numb.
The pain is real, the hole hurts,
but what can I do?
What can fill this hole?
Though I am adopted, I long to know
from where I came from,
who it was that created me.
After many years of waiting, I learn.
I meet the man and woman
who created me and tried to love me.
Though I was gone from their lives
for over 16 years, they had never stopped,
never stopped loving me.
A little time passed, biological mother struggled with her health.
She had a zeal for life
and love for others.
But one day, while in college,
a call came, I went numb.
One that I loved was no more.
Cindy was no longer with us,
and though I only knew her less than 2 years,
the hole in my heart was very, very real.
Being there to be a comfort to my family,
heart is aching,
a part has died.
Though I had known her just briefly
for just such a short time,
the pain sought to tear my heart in two!
After she was laid to rest, getting ready to go home,
heart burst, tears suddenly flowed,
I wept and mourned one I had hardly known.
What can I say? What can I do?
With every loss, every good-bye
there is another hole in my heart.
Many people love me. I love them.
Love helps me feel alive.
Love energizes me to help others.
People come, and then they go.
A love betrayed or one's death,
the result is yet another hole in my heart.
Each and every hole, put there by someone else.
Each hole is a love there no more.
Each hole is a permanent 'good-bye.'
Some are gone by choice,
theirs or mine.
But not all…
Some holes are there because
someone who loved me
is no longer alive.
As time goes by, eventually heal.
Kind of…
Sort of…
Over time the sharp pain becomes dull…
Though my heart heals over
there is still the scare of the hole.
Fresh experiences and fresh relationships
bring back love
and the fear of heartache to come.
For one thing I have learned
with every joyful friend,
for each who care for me,
They will eventually leave and be gone.
Be it death, betrayed friendship
or just fading off to the distance.
Every love, every relationship
will have its bitter end.
A hole in my heart.
With all the love and joy that I seek,
there is a bitter pill to take.
Do I even dare to do it again?
Another deep and powerful love arises,
one who wants to be my wife.
To cherish and to love!
But it is a deep love that is betrayed,
It cuts to the very core of my soul
a pain so beyond my words!
I weep, I shake with rage! Wrath!
I think of her, rage boils within!
Nothing can express how I feel!
I want reconciliation, a love to regrow…
Choices have been made,
The dye has been cast.
A marriage over, a grief of one dead
but yet still alive.
A grief beyond words!
Though I know that God loves me
that His love knows no bounds,
and that it is sacrificial...
It is hard to perceive, to understand…
When there are so many holes,
places of loss and of pain.
But yet, through time,
God helps me to move on,
past the brokenness and pain.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Some Thoughts
It is just after midnight where I at in the Middle East. Once again, I am having one of those nights wheren though tired, I am not able to fall asleep. Since I have not made a blog entry for a whilen I figured that I would do so now.
For what ever reason, this deployment semms to have just dragged on. Unlike my other three deployments, which gelt like they were going quite quickly. And add to the mix a lot of back pain...
I recently put in an application for transferring to another unit in the Nebradka National Guard. The position was Behavioral Health NCO. The more I read sbout the position, the school, and the MOS, the more excited I was about the position. It sounded like it would be a perfect match for my personality, training and experience. But, alas, God did not open that door for me.
Am I disappointed? Yes. But, I trust that God closed that door for a reason. Therefore, I will continue to walk in faith. I do not understand, but I am striving to be obedient.
Worship at the Chapel was pretty good today. The Chaplain used Acts 2:41-47 as the basis of his message. The main theme was on the Early Churches' primary goals.
In fact, he had us do a ministry audit. On a sheet of paper, he had at least 13 different emphasis of ministry, including worship, Biblical teaching, fellowship, etc. What he asked us to do was rate each of them grom 1-4. One would be of least importance and four being most important. He wanted the feedback so that we as a Body of Christ be more focused and effectibe in our ministry on this particular base. I will share more about that later.
Thanksgiving is this week. One of my favorite sayings is, "Give thanks you are not the turkey!" And, yes, that is meant as a joke. But, it is also meant to get one thinking. "About what?"you might ask... Quite a bit, actually.
My hope in making such an absurd comment is to help people look at life from a dlightly different perspective. And, that is something thatvi often have a hard time doing. Being an INFJ, I am sensing the world around me. Not just sounds, colors, smells, but also reading body language, sensing how people feel, etc. When there is a lot going on around me, my senses can easily get overloaded. When that does happen, I have to take several steps back and refocus. Or, sometimes I just have to have alone time to process things and recharge.
During the holidays, it is so easy for a person to get so wrapped up I n the plsnningn preparation, the entertaining, etc., that he/she looses sight of the actual meaning of the celebration. We all do at times.
If you do celebrate Thanksgiving, I encourage you to spend some time reflecting on what you are thankful for. Whether by your self, or with friends and family, make a list of thankfulness. Even if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, you csn do this.
When you make your list, post it somewhere where it can be seen. That way you can use it during times of stress to refocus.
As a Christian, God wants me to have a thankful attitude towards Him and towards others. This can be extremely difficult to do. Especially when we are going through difficult times. But, with His help, it can be done. Sometimes, we have to make lists of His blessings as a reminder. Sometimes we have to use humor to change our focus. What are you thankful for?
For what ever reason, this deployment semms to have just dragged on. Unlike my other three deployments, which gelt like they were going quite quickly. And add to the mix a lot of back pain...
I recently put in an application for transferring to another unit in the Nebradka National Guard. The position was Behavioral Health NCO. The more I read sbout the position, the school, and the MOS, the more excited I was about the position. It sounded like it would be a perfect match for my personality, training and experience. But, alas, God did not open that door for me.
Am I disappointed? Yes. But, I trust that God closed that door for a reason. Therefore, I will continue to walk in faith. I do not understand, but I am striving to be obedient.
Worship at the Chapel was pretty good today. The Chaplain used Acts 2:41-47 as the basis of his message. The main theme was on the Early Churches' primary goals.
In fact, he had us do a ministry audit. On a sheet of paper, he had at least 13 different emphasis of ministry, including worship, Biblical teaching, fellowship, etc. What he asked us to do was rate each of them grom 1-4. One would be of least importance and four being most important. He wanted the feedback so that we as a Body of Christ be more focused and effectibe in our ministry on this particular base. I will share more about that later.
Thanksgiving is this week. One of my favorite sayings is, "Give thanks you are not the turkey!" And, yes, that is meant as a joke. But, it is also meant to get one thinking. "About what?"you might ask... Quite a bit, actually.
My hope in making such an absurd comment is to help people look at life from a dlightly different perspective. And, that is something thatvi often have a hard time doing. Being an INFJ, I am sensing the world around me. Not just sounds, colors, smells, but also reading body language, sensing how people feel, etc. When there is a lot going on around me, my senses can easily get overloaded. When that does happen, I have to take several steps back and refocus. Or, sometimes I just have to have alone time to process things and recharge.
During the holidays, it is so easy for a person to get so wrapped up I n the plsnningn preparation, the entertaining, etc., that he/she looses sight of the actual meaning of the celebration. We all do at times.
If you do celebrate Thanksgiving, I encourage you to spend some time reflecting on what you are thankful for. Whether by your self, or with friends and family, make a list of thankfulness. Even if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, you csn do this.
When you make your list, post it somewhere where it can be seen. That way you can use it during times of stress to refocus.
As a Christian, God wants me to have a thankful attitude towards Him and towards others. This can be extremely difficult to do. Especially when we are going through difficult times. But, with His help, it can be done. Sometimes, we have to make lists of His blessings as a reminder. Sometimes we have to use humor to change our focus. What are you thankful for?
Saturday, November 7, 2015
A Living Faith
References:
- Psalm 37:1-10 NAS
- Mark 5:1-20 NAS
- Luke 10:38-42 NAS
The other night I was at the regular Wednesday night Bible Study. I and my co-teacher were ready to teach. But, the few people that usually attend the Gospel of John study that we do were not there. So, we decided to attend another group that was studying Romans. I was expecting a really good discussion. I ended up being a bit disappointed.
The man who was leading the Bible Study started things off with having a couple of volunteers come up and share their personal testimonies. If you are unfamiliar with what that is, a 'personal testimony' is when a person shares how God has changed a his or her life. In some Christian circles, the can mean any time that God has done something to significantly impact how a person lives, how they view life, how they relate to others, etc. This can be something really big, like a 'Road to Damascus' experience. Or, it could be something small, like reading a familiar Scripture passage and God points something new out to you. For others, it either means a 'Road to Damascus' experience (aka 'conversion experience') or God doing something major in your life. Like deliverance from drugs, bring someone out of a self-destructive lifestyle, or something else that is “incredible.” Personally, I fall into the first group.
After the volunteers talked about how they had 'come to know Christ,' the Bible Study leader had us read the Mark 5 passage noted above. His emphasis was how Jesus directed the person that He had delivered from demonic possession to not stay with Him, but to tell his friends and family all that God had done. He then tied this in to how we need to be willing to share our 'personal testimony' with others and to encourage people to 'make a decision for Christ.' This did not make me real comfortable for a number of reasons. The primary one being that sometimes it is more important to 'be Christ' to others instead of just 'telling them about Him.' So, I shared how God has used me on many occasions to help those who were burdened with something. In some of those conversations, I shared what God has done in my life. However, in many of them, I simply listened and empathized with what they were feeling. That is, I listened to how a situation had impacted their lives and tried to understand how that made them feel.
Though I did more of a 'story telling' instead of summarizing, I was hoping that I got my point across. While it is always important to be able to share with others what we believe as Christians and the hope that Christ gives us, sometimes that is not what is most important. I could be wrong, but it seemed that the person leading the study didn't really like my observation. He acknowledged it, but seemed to be very dismissive of it. It could be he was so focused on what he was wanting to teach that he wanted to get back on track. I don't know.
I do know that some Christian denominations have a very, very strong emphasis on 'soul harvesting.' That is, the members of some denominations focus their energies on going out into their communities, telling other people about how God has changed their lives, and to encourage people to 'make a decision' on becoming a Christian. Although I do believe that sharing your testimony is important, and that there will come a time when each of us have to 'make a decision (for follow Christ),' I do not believe that should be the main emphasis.
I also know of some denominations that focus so much on 'social justice' and reaching out to people that they leave out how God came into this world as Jesus to save us from our sins. They focus on serving and helping others, but at the expense of telling others about the life changing message of Jesus Christ. People are helped, but not changed.
I believe that both have to be done. We need to do both, 'be the Gospel' to others and to 'share the Gospel' with others. But, before we can effectively do either, we have to know who God is, we need to be deeply changed by Jesus. That is why I included the other two Scripture passages. We need to spend time studying God's Word on our own, attending worship services where we can be challenged to grow in our faith, and spend time with fellow Christians to encourage each other in our spiritual growth. We need to purposely take time and 'be still,' as the Psalms passage emphasizes. Just like we cannot hear what a friend or co-worker says to us if we are not paying attention, we can't hear God speak to us if we do not take time to be still and listen.
As the Luke passage points out, there are times when we allow ourselves to become too busy with things in life. Martha was so focused on taking care of all the food and other hosting requirements that she was missing out on actually being nourished on what Jesus had to say. Mary, on the other hand, was being still and soaking it all up. When Martha became upset about it, Jesus corrected her. Though it is important to do things and help others, we also need to 'just be still' like Mary was doing.
I have been a follower of Christ since early 1994. There have been seasons in my life where things have been joyful and fun, and seasons where I have struggled with staying positive, doing the right thing, etc. During those times of difficulty, God has always ministered to me. Sometimes it was while having my 'quiet time.' But, many times it has been because God used someone to walk with me during my times of difficulty and shared the burdens that I had.
In my many years of walking with Christ, I have found that God most often uses me to be His presence in another person's life. Not sharing how God has turned my life around and/or up-side-down. Not the need to face the fact that all of us are sinners and are in desperate need to find salvation in Christ alone. Not the 'you have to make a decision.' No… I find that God most often uses me to listen to what is going on in a person's life and to walk with them. So many people have been turned off by the 'in your face' of some people that, if you start telling them about God, they will immediate start shutting down. In that case, no matter how eloquent of a speaker you might be, they will not hear you.
I have found that, most of the time, people are wanting a physical person to help them with what is bothering them. To most people, God is a foreign concept, or something that they have grown to hate because of one reason or another. For them to be able to know that God really does love them and wants to redeem them from their life of sin, we have to be there for them. We have to be willing to listen to them share their ugliness, their pain, their questions. And there will be times where it may take months, even years of listening and loving someone before they will be willing to really listen to you about how God has changed your life.
It really boils down to 'walking the walk' before we 'talk the talk.' If we do not allow God to show His love through us in our actions, then all of our knowledge of Scripture and eloquent speech will be for nothing. If people do not see Christ in our lives, they won't believe what we say about Him. As His ambassadors to this world, we have to intimately know who He is and allow Him to deeply impact our lives. If we do not allow God to change us, we will still resemble this world. If we are not changed ourselves, how can we expect others to want to know Christ?
It is never easy to “walk the walk.” Change can be difficult. But yet, if we genuinely seek God's help in changing, He will do so. It may be painful at times, but God will help us get through it and be better followers. Are we willing to do so?
- Psalm 37:1-10 NAS
- Mark 5:1-20 NAS
- Luke 10:38-42 NAS
The other night I was at the regular Wednesday night Bible Study. I and my co-teacher were ready to teach. But, the few people that usually attend the Gospel of John study that we do were not there. So, we decided to attend another group that was studying Romans. I was expecting a really good discussion. I ended up being a bit disappointed.
The man who was leading the Bible Study started things off with having a couple of volunteers come up and share their personal testimonies. If you are unfamiliar with what that is, a 'personal testimony' is when a person shares how God has changed a his or her life. In some Christian circles, the can mean any time that God has done something to significantly impact how a person lives, how they view life, how they relate to others, etc. This can be something really big, like a 'Road to Damascus' experience. Or, it could be something small, like reading a familiar Scripture passage and God points something new out to you. For others, it either means a 'Road to Damascus' experience (aka 'conversion experience') or God doing something major in your life. Like deliverance from drugs, bring someone out of a self-destructive lifestyle, or something else that is “incredible.” Personally, I fall into the first group.
After the volunteers talked about how they had 'come to know Christ,' the Bible Study leader had us read the Mark 5 passage noted above. His emphasis was how Jesus directed the person that He had delivered from demonic possession to not stay with Him, but to tell his friends and family all that God had done. He then tied this in to how we need to be willing to share our 'personal testimony' with others and to encourage people to 'make a decision for Christ.' This did not make me real comfortable for a number of reasons. The primary one being that sometimes it is more important to 'be Christ' to others instead of just 'telling them about Him.' So, I shared how God has used me on many occasions to help those who were burdened with something. In some of those conversations, I shared what God has done in my life. However, in many of them, I simply listened and empathized with what they were feeling. That is, I listened to how a situation had impacted their lives and tried to understand how that made them feel.
Though I did more of a 'story telling' instead of summarizing, I was hoping that I got my point across. While it is always important to be able to share with others what we believe as Christians and the hope that Christ gives us, sometimes that is not what is most important. I could be wrong, but it seemed that the person leading the study didn't really like my observation. He acknowledged it, but seemed to be very dismissive of it. It could be he was so focused on what he was wanting to teach that he wanted to get back on track. I don't know.
I do know that some Christian denominations have a very, very strong emphasis on 'soul harvesting.' That is, the members of some denominations focus their energies on going out into their communities, telling other people about how God has changed their lives, and to encourage people to 'make a decision' on becoming a Christian. Although I do believe that sharing your testimony is important, and that there will come a time when each of us have to 'make a decision (for follow Christ),' I do not believe that should be the main emphasis.
I also know of some denominations that focus so much on 'social justice' and reaching out to people that they leave out how God came into this world as Jesus to save us from our sins. They focus on serving and helping others, but at the expense of telling others about the life changing message of Jesus Christ. People are helped, but not changed.
I believe that both have to be done. We need to do both, 'be the Gospel' to others and to 'share the Gospel' with others. But, before we can effectively do either, we have to know who God is, we need to be deeply changed by Jesus. That is why I included the other two Scripture passages. We need to spend time studying God's Word on our own, attending worship services where we can be challenged to grow in our faith, and spend time with fellow Christians to encourage each other in our spiritual growth. We need to purposely take time and 'be still,' as the Psalms passage emphasizes. Just like we cannot hear what a friend or co-worker says to us if we are not paying attention, we can't hear God speak to us if we do not take time to be still and listen.
As the Luke passage points out, there are times when we allow ourselves to become too busy with things in life. Martha was so focused on taking care of all the food and other hosting requirements that she was missing out on actually being nourished on what Jesus had to say. Mary, on the other hand, was being still and soaking it all up. When Martha became upset about it, Jesus corrected her. Though it is important to do things and help others, we also need to 'just be still' like Mary was doing.
I have been a follower of Christ since early 1994. There have been seasons in my life where things have been joyful and fun, and seasons where I have struggled with staying positive, doing the right thing, etc. During those times of difficulty, God has always ministered to me. Sometimes it was while having my 'quiet time.' But, many times it has been because God used someone to walk with me during my times of difficulty and shared the burdens that I had.
In my many years of walking with Christ, I have found that God most often uses me to be His presence in another person's life. Not sharing how God has turned my life around and/or up-side-down. Not the need to face the fact that all of us are sinners and are in desperate need to find salvation in Christ alone. Not the 'you have to make a decision.' No… I find that God most often uses me to listen to what is going on in a person's life and to walk with them. So many people have been turned off by the 'in your face' of some people that, if you start telling them about God, they will immediate start shutting down. In that case, no matter how eloquent of a speaker you might be, they will not hear you.
I have found that, most of the time, people are wanting a physical person to help them with what is bothering them. To most people, God is a foreign concept, or something that they have grown to hate because of one reason or another. For them to be able to know that God really does love them and wants to redeem them from their life of sin, we have to be there for them. We have to be willing to listen to them share their ugliness, their pain, their questions. And there will be times where it may take months, even years of listening and loving someone before they will be willing to really listen to you about how God has changed your life.
It really boils down to 'walking the walk' before we 'talk the talk.' If we do not allow God to show His love through us in our actions, then all of our knowledge of Scripture and eloquent speech will be for nothing. If people do not see Christ in our lives, they won't believe what we say about Him. As His ambassadors to this world, we have to intimately know who He is and allow Him to deeply impact our lives. If we do not allow God to change us, we will still resemble this world. If we are not changed ourselves, how can we expect others to want to know Christ?
It is never easy to “walk the walk.” Change can be difficult. But yet, if we genuinely seek God's help in changing, He will do so. It may be painful at times, but God will help us get through it and be better followers. Are we willing to do so?
Saturday, October 17, 2015
An Amish Murder Critique
References:
- An Amish Murder
- 2 Corinthians 5:11-21 NAS
The other day, I watched a very interesting movie on Netflix called, "An Amish Murder." In a nutshell, a young lady grows up in the Amish community, a traumatic event happens in her life, and she leaves the Amish community to pursue a career in Law Enforcement. Years later, after making detective, she returns to a small town in Ohio near where she grew up as the police chief. While she is home, a series of murders take place. These murders are eerily like the ones that were committed when she was growing up.
One of the reasons why I enjoyed the movie was because it was a very good thriller. Throughout the movie, one thinks that the serial killer might be one person. Then, maybe someone else. The end is a bit of a surprise. I always enjoy movies like that because it challenges me to be observant of the facts. Most thriller movies like this one will have the clues needed to make the right connection at the end. It's just that many of them are very subtle. At least for me, it's a fun game to see if I can guess correctly. With this movie, I have to admit, I almost didn't catch on to who the real culprit was until near the end.
Having been a military analyst and currently being a MP (Military Policeman), I enjoy a good crime thriller at times. It was also good in that two of the main characters were wrestling with different traumatic events in their lives. Different but similar enough that they were able to relate and help each other. At least to me, that gave it a more interesting and human twist. How many of us have experienced major difficulties, even a traumatic event, and then the growth and healing that we experienced was then used to help someone else? I know that God has used difficulties that I've experience to be a blessing to others. There has also been times where God used lessons that I learned while not dealing with a situation well to help someone else facing a similar situation. Although it was extremely painful to deal with at the time, seeing how God has helped others always gives me a good feeling.
Something else that I really appreciated about this movie was the theme of being an ambassador between two very different cultures. As I have mentioned several other times in my blog, I have had the opportunity to interact with people from all over the world. Most of my experiences have been in Europe and Iraq. But, I have gotten to know people from many other cultures, too. There have been times when I did not represent myself well to others. We all do that. Over the years, I have made it a point to learn from my mistakes and to better understand the cultural background of others.
Because of the lessons that I have learned over the years, I am typically able to interact with those from a foreign country. This is not always easy. There are things that some cultures do on a daily basis (or don't do) that many Americans find offensive. An example that comes to my mind has to do with deodorant. I had several friends in seminary who were from Africa. Both of these men had good hygiene habits, but neither of them used deodorant. Because of this, they both had bo (body odor). In my conversations with fellow students, I found out that many of them found this annoying or even extremely aggravating. I'm not sure if any of them talked with these two individuals or not. But, they were definitely vocal about it to fellow students.
Although I wasn't happy about their bo, I did understand that in their home country, deodorant wasn't often used. So I accepted them as they were. Something interesting, though, was that I noticed that both men had a unique scent. This made for a few amusing situations when one of them approached me and I was able to correctly identify who it was without looking.
When I was working in Iraq in 2010-11, I was interacting with people from all over the world. Not just Iraqi government officials and Iraqi military personnel, but business people from Iraq and many countries all over the world. Each of them had their own cultures. I was able to do my job well because I strove to treat each person that came into my office with respect as a person and to their native culture. This enabled me to not only get my job done effectively, but it also helped to foster positive relationships between the US Army and those who did business or worked for other governments. Several people were so touched by how I did my best to respect their cultures that they asked to work with me or even gave me unique gifts from their business or embassy.
To touch on the Scripture passage from 2nd Corinthians, that is what God calls us to do to everyone around us. God calls each of us to be His representative to others in this world. The Greek word that Paul uses in Galatians 6:20 and the 2nd Corinthians passage is προσβευο (pres-byoo'-o), which means: 1. to be older, prior by birth or in age, or 2. to be an ambassador, act as an ambassador. It is used only twice in the New Testament, with both being the second definition. But, how can we do this?
An ambassador must be highly knowledgeable of two different cultures and (often times also languages). Of course, he has to fully understand his native culture and language. That is a given. But, the ambassador must also be highly knowledgeable of the culture and language of the country that he is living in. He or she must understand both extremely well so that they can effectively translate what his or her native country wants to something that the host country can understand. And, since some things that are acceptable in country may be extremely offensive in another one, he or she needs to keep this in mind as they work with their host country in understanding what their native country wants.
When we become a Christian, our new residency is now in Heaven with God, though we still live in this world. As we grow as a Christian, we need to learn as much as we can about who God is and what He expects of us and Followers of Christ. As we learn more about our adopted homeland (Heaven) God expects us to tell others of this world about Him. To do so, we have to understand the language and culture that we live in. That is often a given, having grown up in a particular state or town and, now as a Christian, teaching others about Christ. However, God often guides us to someplace new. When this happens, we have to learn about the new culture, traditions, and language. Because of regional slang being different throughout any country, there are things that one always has to learn that are unique to that area.
Each of us has become a Christian because God used someone to introduce us to Christ. God has also used many people and circumstances in our lives to teach us more about Him. Some people sought to purposely direct us towards Christ. Others sought to do evil to us, but God used the circumstances to bring about His good will. As followers of Christ, God expects us to direct others to Him. He wants us to be His ambassadors to this fallen world so that others can receive His salvation. That requires us to not only understand His Word (the Bible), but to understand those with whom we interact with, as well as seek to teach others about God. All of this requires time and effort.
I have seen all to often people visiting a foreign country and, either because they lacked interest in learning about another culture or arrogance that their culture was superior, they caused friction, ill will, or even caused severe problems. And, that particular person or group of people may not have suffered the consequences of their laziness or arrogance, but someone who was totally innocent of the previous event. There have been a few times during my travels that people have not wanted to be respectful towards me because of what others have done. Sometimes my actions and attitude help them change their minds towards Americans or towards Christians. But, that isn't always the case. Should we not strive to be the best representative of God to the world? Should we not live in such a way that others will want to know Christ as we have come to know Him?
- An Amish Murder
- 2 Corinthians 5:11-21 NAS
The other day, I watched a very interesting movie on Netflix called, "An Amish Murder." In a nutshell, a young lady grows up in the Amish community, a traumatic event happens in her life, and she leaves the Amish community to pursue a career in Law Enforcement. Years later, after making detective, she returns to a small town in Ohio near where she grew up as the police chief. While she is home, a series of murders take place. These murders are eerily like the ones that were committed when she was growing up.
One of the reasons why I enjoyed the movie was because it was a very good thriller. Throughout the movie, one thinks that the serial killer might be one person. Then, maybe someone else. The end is a bit of a surprise. I always enjoy movies like that because it challenges me to be observant of the facts. Most thriller movies like this one will have the clues needed to make the right connection at the end. It's just that many of them are very subtle. At least for me, it's a fun game to see if I can guess correctly. With this movie, I have to admit, I almost didn't catch on to who the real culprit was until near the end.
Having been a military analyst and currently being a MP (Military Policeman), I enjoy a good crime thriller at times. It was also good in that two of the main characters were wrestling with different traumatic events in their lives. Different but similar enough that they were able to relate and help each other. At least to me, that gave it a more interesting and human twist. How many of us have experienced major difficulties, even a traumatic event, and then the growth and healing that we experienced was then used to help someone else? I know that God has used difficulties that I've experience to be a blessing to others. There has also been times where God used lessons that I learned while not dealing with a situation well to help someone else facing a similar situation. Although it was extremely painful to deal with at the time, seeing how God has helped others always gives me a good feeling.
Something else that I really appreciated about this movie was the theme of being an ambassador between two very different cultures. As I have mentioned several other times in my blog, I have had the opportunity to interact with people from all over the world. Most of my experiences have been in Europe and Iraq. But, I have gotten to know people from many other cultures, too. There have been times when I did not represent myself well to others. We all do that. Over the years, I have made it a point to learn from my mistakes and to better understand the cultural background of others.
Because of the lessons that I have learned over the years, I am typically able to interact with those from a foreign country. This is not always easy. There are things that some cultures do on a daily basis (or don't do) that many Americans find offensive. An example that comes to my mind has to do with deodorant. I had several friends in seminary who were from Africa. Both of these men had good hygiene habits, but neither of them used deodorant. Because of this, they both had bo (body odor). In my conversations with fellow students, I found out that many of them found this annoying or even extremely aggravating. I'm not sure if any of them talked with these two individuals or not. But, they were definitely vocal about it to fellow students.
Although I wasn't happy about their bo, I did understand that in their home country, deodorant wasn't often used. So I accepted them as they were. Something interesting, though, was that I noticed that both men had a unique scent. This made for a few amusing situations when one of them approached me and I was able to correctly identify who it was without looking.
When I was working in Iraq in 2010-11, I was interacting with people from all over the world. Not just Iraqi government officials and Iraqi military personnel, but business people from Iraq and many countries all over the world. Each of them had their own cultures. I was able to do my job well because I strove to treat each person that came into my office with respect as a person and to their native culture. This enabled me to not only get my job done effectively, but it also helped to foster positive relationships between the US Army and those who did business or worked for other governments. Several people were so touched by how I did my best to respect their cultures that they asked to work with me or even gave me unique gifts from their business or embassy.
To touch on the Scripture passage from 2nd Corinthians, that is what God calls us to do to everyone around us. God calls each of us to be His representative to others in this world. The Greek word that Paul uses in Galatians 6:20 and the 2nd Corinthians passage is προσβευο (pres-byoo'-o), which means: 1. to be older, prior by birth or in age, or 2. to be an ambassador, act as an ambassador. It is used only twice in the New Testament, with both being the second definition. But, how can we do this?
An ambassador must be highly knowledgeable of two different cultures and (often times also languages). Of course, he has to fully understand his native culture and language. That is a given. But, the ambassador must also be highly knowledgeable of the culture and language of the country that he is living in. He or she must understand both extremely well so that they can effectively translate what his or her native country wants to something that the host country can understand. And, since some things that are acceptable in country may be extremely offensive in another one, he or she needs to keep this in mind as they work with their host country in understanding what their native country wants.
When we become a Christian, our new residency is now in Heaven with God, though we still live in this world. As we grow as a Christian, we need to learn as much as we can about who God is and what He expects of us and Followers of Christ. As we learn more about our adopted homeland (Heaven) God expects us to tell others of this world about Him. To do so, we have to understand the language and culture that we live in. That is often a given, having grown up in a particular state or town and, now as a Christian, teaching others about Christ. However, God often guides us to someplace new. When this happens, we have to learn about the new culture, traditions, and language. Because of regional slang being different throughout any country, there are things that one always has to learn that are unique to that area.
Each of us has become a Christian because God used someone to introduce us to Christ. God has also used many people and circumstances in our lives to teach us more about Him. Some people sought to purposely direct us towards Christ. Others sought to do evil to us, but God used the circumstances to bring about His good will. As followers of Christ, God expects us to direct others to Him. He wants us to be His ambassadors to this fallen world so that others can receive His salvation. That requires us to not only understand His Word (the Bible), but to understand those with whom we interact with, as well as seek to teach others about God. All of this requires time and effort.
I have seen all to often people visiting a foreign country and, either because they lacked interest in learning about another culture or arrogance that their culture was superior, they caused friction, ill will, or even caused severe problems. And, that particular person or group of people may not have suffered the consequences of their laziness or arrogance, but someone who was totally innocent of the previous event. There have been a few times during my travels that people have not wanted to be respectful towards me because of what others have done. Sometimes my actions and attitude help them change their minds towards Americans or towards Christians. But, that isn't always the case. Should we not strive to be the best representative of God to the world? Should we not live in such a way that others will want to know Christ as we have come to know Him?
Friday, October 16, 2015
Reflections on 16 October 2015
I know that it has been a while since I posted an entry here. Things have been very busy for me for the last week or so. But, since I have some down time, I thought that I would write some reflections. And, just so you know, I am writing this on my phone. So, if things seem oddly organized or grammar is poor, that is probably why.
One of my biggest challenges is getting the right balance of personal time for reflecting and recharging, and still getting the socializing that I need. Throw in the responsibilities of being a supervisor and you have quite a balanxing act. There are days where I feel recharged enough that I can face the challengea of life. Other times I feel so drained that anything social is a challenge. And, there are times where I don't have the luxury of recharging, I just have to "suck it up and drive on." So challenging!
Spiritual warfare ia very real. The closer one walks with God and the more you strive to be obedient to Him, the more you should expect spiritual attacks. I have been walking with Christ since January of 1994. You would think that I would not easily get "spiritually ambushed." But, there arw times that I do. But, even when that does happen, my response is typically to return to even more feaverent of prayer.
In the last few weeks, I have been engaged in some very intense spiritual warfare. Between praying for my Chain of Command, the people who persecute the Body of Christ (especially nations that so ao harahly), my family, and several people who arw facing great difficulties, I have received a great deal of "feedback." And not the positive kind.
In fact, a few weeks ago, I couldn't sleep so I did some intense praying. Not too long after I started, I started feel a real heaviness on me. The more I prayed, the worse it got. It got so bad that I started to shake. So, I asked other prayer warriors to pray for me. It seemed that I had really stirred the hornets' nest. And, it worked. Soon after that, I was able to fall back to sleep.
Been enjoying the Bible Study I and another NCO have been doing. I find it so fascinating that the Gospel of John has such simple language, but yet is so deep in the theology! I have joked on several ocassions that I could spend two or maybe even three week on each chapter! They arw just that rich in theology! The dialogue during the studies have been very exciting and informative. I've pointed out a lot of things that others had not noticed before, and others have shared insights that I had not noticed. Such an awesome experience!
I found a very helpful website called "introvertdear.com." I found it about 3 weeks ago and have been reading it regularly ever since. I had ways wondered qhy I reacted to somethings like I have, or why I would feel so utterly drained, even on a good day, when helping others. Things are making more sense now. God hasmade each of us unique. But, certain personalities are more common than others. And, praise God, I have found several INFJ groups on Facebook. It has been so encouraging, talking with others who have had similar experiences.
Life is very challenging. I definitely have been experiencing a lot of stretching in my life. It is both draining and exciting at the same time. I am definitely not the same person I was just a year ago. But, then again, in a year, or even in just a few months, I will be different than I am now. All through out life one should strive to continue to learn and grow as a person. And, as a Christian, one should continously strive to deepen one's walk with Christ.
One other thought before I close this entry. We must always remember that we do not always know what God is doing in our lives and in the lives of those around us. Sometimes God allows us to see glimpses of what He is doing. But, not always. We must walk in faith the God will honor what we do in faith and bring about His perfect will. Just like it takes months or even yeara for a plant to grow, mature, and evwn bare fruit, so it is in our lives. We must patiently wait for Gid to do His will. And, waiting can be so very hard, too. May God help us to do so.
One of my biggest challenges is getting the right balance of personal time for reflecting and recharging, and still getting the socializing that I need. Throw in the responsibilities of being a supervisor and you have quite a balanxing act. There are days where I feel recharged enough that I can face the challengea of life. Other times I feel so drained that anything social is a challenge. And, there are times where I don't have the luxury of recharging, I just have to "suck it up and drive on." So challenging!
Spiritual warfare ia very real. The closer one walks with God and the more you strive to be obedient to Him, the more you should expect spiritual attacks. I have been walking with Christ since January of 1994. You would think that I would not easily get "spiritually ambushed." But, there arw times that I do. But, even when that does happen, my response is typically to return to even more feaverent of prayer.
In the last few weeks, I have been engaged in some very intense spiritual warfare. Between praying for my Chain of Command, the people who persecute the Body of Christ (especially nations that so ao harahly), my family, and several people who arw facing great difficulties, I have received a great deal of "feedback." And not the positive kind.
In fact, a few weeks ago, I couldn't sleep so I did some intense praying. Not too long after I started, I started feel a real heaviness on me. The more I prayed, the worse it got. It got so bad that I started to shake. So, I asked other prayer warriors to pray for me. It seemed that I had really stirred the hornets' nest. And, it worked. Soon after that, I was able to fall back to sleep.
Been enjoying the Bible Study I and another NCO have been doing. I find it so fascinating that the Gospel of John has such simple language, but yet is so deep in the theology! I have joked on several ocassions that I could spend two or maybe even three week on each chapter! They arw just that rich in theology! The dialogue during the studies have been very exciting and informative. I've pointed out a lot of things that others had not noticed before, and others have shared insights that I had not noticed. Such an awesome experience!
I found a very helpful website called "introvertdear.com." I found it about 3 weeks ago and have been reading it regularly ever since. I had ways wondered qhy I reacted to somethings like I have, or why I would feel so utterly drained, even on a good day, when helping others. Things are making more sense now. God hasmade each of us unique. But, certain personalities are more common than others. And, praise God, I have found several INFJ groups on Facebook. It has been so encouraging, talking with others who have had similar experiences.
Life is very challenging. I definitely have been experiencing a lot of stretching in my life. It is both draining and exciting at the same time. I am definitely not the same person I was just a year ago. But, then again, in a year, or even in just a few months, I will be different than I am now. All through out life one should strive to continue to learn and grow as a person. And, as a Christian, one should continously strive to deepen one's walk with Christ.
One other thought before I close this entry. We must always remember that we do not always know what God is doing in our lives and in the lives of those around us. Sometimes God allows us to see glimpses of what He is doing. But, not always. We must walk in faith the God will honor what we do in faith and bring about His perfect will. Just like it takes months or even yeara for a plant to grow, mature, and evwn bare fruit, so it is in our lives. We must patiently wait for Gid to do His will. And, waiting can be so very hard, too. May God help us to do so.
Sunday, October 4, 2015
Living a Lie
References:
- Romans 3:9-20 NAS
- 1 John 1:5-10 NAS
- The Village (2004)
I finished watching a very interesting movie not to long ago called, “The Village (2004).” It was written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. I know that not everyone out there likes spoilers, so I will try to not tell too much. According to the IMDB page, it is considered to be a mystery, drama and a romance movie. Those descriptions definitely do fit. But, I believe there is a very important theological bent to this movie, too. The theological concept of human kind and human nature.
One of the first things that we learn in the movie is that the members of The Village have a pact or truce of sorts. It seems that there is some sort of intelligent creature living in the woods surrounding the village. The agreement comes to light that, as long as they do not wear 'the bad color' and do not venture into the woods, the creatures will not come into their Village and cause harm. This underlined fear of the creatures in the woods in one of the main themes driving the movie. The fear of these creatures and the evil of 'people in the other towns' keep the members of this community totally isolated from anyone else. In fact, there is a continuous fear that if anyone were to visit one of 'those towns,' it could destroy their 'innocent community.'
Watching the movie, set in 'olde Pennsylvania,' we see what appears to be a genuine utopia. There are no weapons seen at all. One starts to wonder if we are observing an Amish-like culture. There are definitely Judeo Christian values, though nothing really overt. At one point in the movie, a young man who has some sort of mental problems is seen hitting some other boys with a stick in a playful manner, and then they all start wrestling. It is soon broken up and the young boy who was 'playing roughly' with the other kids is threatened with punishment. Although things seem a little odd (at least to me), it's all believable.
Two things soon happen that seem to jeopardize everything. One is that two members of the community venture into the woods. One due to the fact that he lacks understanding, the other who chooses to do so. The other threat to everyone's existence is an 'accident' that happens. Because of a love triangle one person is almost fatally injured. The governing counsel must now decide what to do because of the choices that others have made. And, it turns out, a lot of things are not what they seem.
One of the words that is used a lot during the movie is the term “innocence.” It is the hope that The Village Elders that this status quo of 'innocence' is maintained. They go to great lengths to make sure that people do not violate 'the pact' by crossing the boarder/perimeter. They also make sure that people are living good lives of loving each other and not harming others. Although throughout the first half of the movie, things seem to go well. Though there are jealousies and arguments, there does not seem to be any 'overt sin.' But yet, eventually, we realize that evil is still present and a terrible act (this 'accident') happens. Everyone is affected, and it threatens to destroy everything. People seem to be panicky and at wits end with how to deal with all of the events without showing evil.
All in all, I did enjoy the movie. I knew enough of the plot that I was able to pick up on many of the 'hints' throughout the film. But, it also really got me thinking. How often do we try to play this game? That is, how often do we pretend that we can overcome our own evil, sinful nature through our own strength? Many religions teach this idea. That by self-discipline, one can distance ourselves from our sinful nature so as to not act out on it. Throughout Scripture, we see that we are complete incapable of doing so. Sin will rear its ugly head sooner or later. And, there will be consequences when this happens.
Now, it is important to discipline ourselves. We are called to live our life of obedience to God's Laws. The thing is, Scripture teaches is that it is not by our own strength that we can do this. As Jesus tells the Pharisee Nicodemus, one has to be 'born again' or 'born from above.' (John 3:1-21) It is only when the Holy Spirit dwells within us and seek to let It control our lives that we can live a life pleasing to God. The thing is, we will never be 'perfect' and live a 'sinless life' in this world. We will always struggle with sin. But, in our journey in life, as we seek to let God guide our lives, we can become 'more Christ-like.' The theological term for this is sanctification. A good definition of this word is:
Movies are wonderful for entertainment. And they can be very good tools for teachings important lessons in life. But, it is important that we take the teachings of God's Word as the foundation of our lives. So relax and read a good book or watch a good movie. They can be wonderful entertainment. But, be discerning in what you take in. Let God's Spirit guide each of us as we learn and grow.
- Romans 3:9-20 NAS
- 1 John 1:5-10 NAS
- The Village (2004)
I finished watching a very interesting movie not to long ago called, “The Village (2004).” It was written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. I know that not everyone out there likes spoilers, so I will try to not tell too much. According to the IMDB page, it is considered to be a mystery, drama and a romance movie. Those descriptions definitely do fit. But, I believe there is a very important theological bent to this movie, too. The theological concept of human kind and human nature.
One of the first things that we learn in the movie is that the members of The Village have a pact or truce of sorts. It seems that there is some sort of intelligent creature living in the woods surrounding the village. The agreement comes to light that, as long as they do not wear 'the bad color' and do not venture into the woods, the creatures will not come into their Village and cause harm. This underlined fear of the creatures in the woods in one of the main themes driving the movie. The fear of these creatures and the evil of 'people in the other towns' keep the members of this community totally isolated from anyone else. In fact, there is a continuous fear that if anyone were to visit one of 'those towns,' it could destroy their 'innocent community.'
Watching the movie, set in 'olde Pennsylvania,' we see what appears to be a genuine utopia. There are no weapons seen at all. One starts to wonder if we are observing an Amish-like culture. There are definitely Judeo Christian values, though nothing really overt. At one point in the movie, a young man who has some sort of mental problems is seen hitting some other boys with a stick in a playful manner, and then they all start wrestling. It is soon broken up and the young boy who was 'playing roughly' with the other kids is threatened with punishment. Although things seem a little odd (at least to me), it's all believable.
Two things soon happen that seem to jeopardize everything. One is that two members of the community venture into the woods. One due to the fact that he lacks understanding, the other who chooses to do so. The other threat to everyone's existence is an 'accident' that happens. Because of a love triangle one person is almost fatally injured. The governing counsel must now decide what to do because of the choices that others have made. And, it turns out, a lot of things are not what they seem.
One of the words that is used a lot during the movie is the term “innocence.” It is the hope that The Village Elders that this status quo of 'innocence' is maintained. They go to great lengths to make sure that people do not violate 'the pact' by crossing the boarder/perimeter. They also make sure that people are living good lives of loving each other and not harming others. Although throughout the first half of the movie, things seem to go well. Though there are jealousies and arguments, there does not seem to be any 'overt sin.' But yet, eventually, we realize that evil is still present and a terrible act (this 'accident') happens. Everyone is affected, and it threatens to destroy everything. People seem to be panicky and at wits end with how to deal with all of the events without showing evil.
All in all, I did enjoy the movie. I knew enough of the plot that I was able to pick up on many of the 'hints' throughout the film. But, it also really got me thinking. How often do we try to play this game? That is, how often do we pretend that we can overcome our own evil, sinful nature through our own strength? Many religions teach this idea. That by self-discipline, one can distance ourselves from our sinful nature so as to not act out on it. Throughout Scripture, we see that we are complete incapable of doing so. Sin will rear its ugly head sooner or later. And, there will be consequences when this happens.
Now, it is important to discipline ourselves. We are called to live our life of obedience to God's Laws. The thing is, Scripture teaches is that it is not by our own strength that we can do this. As Jesus tells the Pharisee Nicodemus, one has to be 'born again' or 'born from above.' (John 3:1-21) It is only when the Holy Spirit dwells within us and seek to let It control our lives that we can live a life pleasing to God. The thing is, we will never be 'perfect' and live a 'sinless life' in this world. We will always struggle with sin. But, in our journey in life, as we seek to let God guide our lives, we can become 'more Christ-like.' The theological term for this is sanctification. A good definition of this word is:
“involves more than a mere moral reformation of character, brought about by the power of the truth: it is the work of the Holy Spirit bringing the whole nature more and more under the influences of the new gracious principles implanted in the soul in regeneration. In other words, sanctification is the carrying on to perfection the work begun in regeneration, and it extends to the whole man”. reference here
Movies are wonderful for entertainment. And they can be very good tools for teachings important lessons in life. But, it is important that we take the teachings of God's Word as the foundation of our lives. So relax and read a good book or watch a good movie. They can be wonderful entertainment. But, be discerning in what you take in. Let God's Spirit guide each of us as we learn and grow.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Thoughts and Feelings, So Thorough
Thoughts flowing freely, unhindered, carefree;
going this way, that way,
unhindered and free.
Anger and frustration, mine or soaked up?
Now they ease, fade to the distance,
thoughts and feelings are now more clear…
Time passes, not paying attention…
Stresses and frustration, mine or others,
are finally fading away.
Sometimes I go for a long walk.
Sometimes I read, sometimes watch tv.
Sometimes, only in quiet stillness they leave.
Although through the day, talking and interacting,
things build up, they're soaked up.
Now, processed, examined, set free.
Many times I spend long hours
trying to sort through all that I feelings
examining this way and that.
At times I will rehearse conversations,
trying different approaches,
hearing their voices, feeling their mannerisms…
Trying out different ideas, mental role-playing,
knowing their patters, their tendencies…
How to address? Is it worth it?
Seconding guessing all these thoughts,
present plans, future plans…
What will work? Will it all fail?
While walking, while resting, while sleeping or eating,
my thoughts will often wonder
this way, that way, where ever.
From past conversations to future expectations
they are examined, processed
no mental stone left unturned.
Good possibilities, bad possibilities,
all are considered, analyzed.
Which one more? God only knows!
Approached by someone, asked if I have a little time.
A heart hurts, mind is confused,
or a burdened needs to be shared.
Sometimes this is totally expected.
Other times a great surprise.
But helping is my calling, so listen I will.
I listen to their words, spoken or not.
Sense their emotions, even draw them in.
I filter all they share, through heart and mind.
As time goes by, conversation wanes.
They feel calmer, heart is lighter.
Do I have anything wise to say?
Their problems, experiences, sorted and sifted,
and analyzed within my mind.
Thoughts and feelings, mesh with mine.
A thought, an idea, or even my own deeds,
sifted through, maybe shared,
or just gentle quiet of a burden shared.
We part and I continue sifting and sorting,
their thoughts, feelings I felt, even absorbed.
Gradually the mess is made into sense.
Though I rejoice that a life was touched,
God has blessed through me,
I am tired, or even exhausted.
My day is still young, much yet to do.
A silent prayer for guidance, energy, focus;
till I can finally, fully rest.
RC Underwood
20SEP2015
going this way, that way,
unhindered and free.
Anger and frustration, mine or soaked up?
Now they ease, fade to the distance,
thoughts and feelings are now more clear…
Time passes, not paying attention…
Stresses and frustration, mine or others,
are finally fading away.
Sometimes I go for a long walk.
Sometimes I read, sometimes watch tv.
Sometimes, only in quiet stillness they leave.
Although through the day, talking and interacting,
things build up, they're soaked up.
Now, processed, examined, set free.
Many times I spend long hours
trying to sort through all that I feelings
examining this way and that.
At times I will rehearse conversations,
trying different approaches,
hearing their voices, feeling their mannerisms…
Trying out different ideas, mental role-playing,
knowing their patters, their tendencies…
How to address? Is it worth it?
Seconding guessing all these thoughts,
present plans, future plans…
What will work? Will it all fail?
While walking, while resting, while sleeping or eating,
my thoughts will often wonder
this way, that way, where ever.
From past conversations to future expectations
they are examined, processed
no mental stone left unturned.
Good possibilities, bad possibilities,
all are considered, analyzed.
Which one more? God only knows!
Approached by someone, asked if I have a little time.
A heart hurts, mind is confused,
or a burdened needs to be shared.
Sometimes this is totally expected.
Other times a great surprise.
But helping is my calling, so listen I will.
I listen to their words, spoken or not.
Sense their emotions, even draw them in.
I filter all they share, through heart and mind.
As time goes by, conversation wanes.
They feel calmer, heart is lighter.
Do I have anything wise to say?
Their problems, experiences, sorted and sifted,
and analyzed within my mind.
Thoughts and feelings, mesh with mine.
A thought, an idea, or even my own deeds,
sifted through, maybe shared,
or just gentle quiet of a burden shared.
We part and I continue sifting and sorting,
their thoughts, feelings I felt, even absorbed.
Gradually the mess is made into sense.
Though I rejoice that a life was touched,
God has blessed through me,
I am tired, or even exhausted.
My day is still young, much yet to do.
A silent prayer for guidance, energy, focus;
till I can finally, fully rest.
RC Underwood
20SEP2015
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Cultural and Respect
References:
- Acts 17:16-34 NAS
- 1 Corinthians 9:16-27 NAS
- Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
- Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
- The Kingdom (2007)
I love a good, thought provoking movie, as well as a good action movie or a good thriller. For me, the movie has to have depth. I want to be touched by the message of the movie, not just something meaningless to watch. Yes, I am a bit picky about what movies I watch. Each of us has our own preferences. A movie that I have just recently added to my “very much enjoy list” is “Lawrence of Arabia.” This movie has a similar theme to other two movies that I really enjoy, “Kingdom of Heaven” and “The Kingdom.” But, I will get to that in a few minutes.
In the passage from Acts, we see Paul and Silas were traveling together on Paul's second missionary trip (Acts 15:36-41) and were currently in Athens, Greece. Paul sees all sorts of idols, including any empty pedestal, and uses them as a springboard for preaching to the local populace in a manner that they could understand. In the 1 Corinthians passage referenced above, we see Paul's strategy a little more in depth. He seeks to understand the culture that he is working in, and then uses that to inform how he teaches them about Christ. He doesn't change the Message of the Gospel, just how he explains it and how he lives amongst them. He does that so that they can understand who Christ Jesus is.
You see, each of us view life through the lens of our unique blend of culture, heritage, and experiences. All of this informs us how to view life. It's the framework that we use in order to understand the world around us. Not only does each country have its own unique culture, but communities within the same country have different forms of culture. Although a whole nation may share some similar cultural features, different areas within the same country will differ somewhat. Local customs, dialects, and unique histories vary greatly from place to place.
Besides the United States, I have experienced the local cultures of Europe and some parts of Iraq. Through visiting distant relatives in Europe and spending a semester in Strasbourg, France, I have a lot of first hand experience with European cultures. I have been able to see local history, experienced local traditions, and visited with many different people. This personal experience, combined with basic knowledge of the German language and history, has opened many doors for me. Whether traveling on a train, sitting in a restaurant, or some other environment, I have been blessed with some fascinating conversations with German people. There have been awkward times where neither of us had enough vocabulary to express all that we wanted to say. But yet, we strove to understand and to be understood.
My experience with the Iraqi culture is a bit more limited. But, especially during my third deployment in 2010-11, I did get to interact with some of the business, government and military leaders in Baghdad. That was because of my job with creating vehicle security passes for vehicles within the International Zone. Not only did I get to interact with some of the Iraqi citizens, but I also got to interact with many of the members of the different embassies. Although I had many positive experiences working with each of them, one situation in particular really stands out with me.
One of the PSD (Personal Security Detail) teams that I worked with was from the Korean Embassy. While in high school, college, and in seminary, I have gotten to know many people from different Asian countries. Because of these experiences, both good and bad, I had fairly good idea of what I should do. When they came to the door, I stood up, walked towards them, and then bowed to them. I acknowledged them according to their culture. They hesitated a moment, then returned the bow. We then got down to business. For whatever reason, they had to leave and return. When they came back a few days later, they literately stood at the door and politely told the OIC (Officer in Charge) that they would like to talk with me. They then patiently waited for me to be ready. Because of the way I had shown them respect, they went out of their way to show me respect.
Over the years, I have talked with many people from different countries while they were either visiting or studying in the United States. While many people do try to show respect to them, it is unfortunate that others within the US do not. This happens while Americans have traveled to different countries to visit and while foreigners have visited the US. Sometimes it's because someone just does not have any experience with other cultures and doesn't understand the differences. There are so many different cultures out there that it would be impossible to understand them all. And most foreigners visiting or studying here understand that. But, there is a big difference between not understanding because of no experience, and not even trying.
Each of the three movies have a common theme. Major world events caused two different cultures to have to work together. In each of the movies, each side had their cultural stereotypes of the other. These stereotypes caused a lot of friction and frustration initially. But, during the movie, people on both sides made the attempt to try and understand the others' perspective, while seeking to more clearly explaining their own. It took time, patience, and a lot of work. But, by the end of the movie, their work paved the way for a lot of mutual respect and learning. In working together, they were able to accomplish a lot of awesome things. Something they could not have accomplished separately.
There have been many times where, in trying to interact with someone of another culture, I 'put my foot into my mouth.' I have made mistakes. I have also striven to learn from those mistakes so that I can better interact with people from a different culture. It is not easy. What is normal in some cultures can be offensive to others. These are easy to find. However, will we strive to set aside the things that we find distasteful and annoying and seek common ground? That is something each and every one of us will have to decide when the time comes. For those of us who follow Christ, we are His ambassadors to this world. How shall we live this out?
- Acts 17:16-34 NAS
- 1 Corinthians 9:16-27 NAS
- Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
- Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
- The Kingdom (2007)
I love a good, thought provoking movie, as well as a good action movie or a good thriller. For me, the movie has to have depth. I want to be touched by the message of the movie, not just something meaningless to watch. Yes, I am a bit picky about what movies I watch. Each of us has our own preferences. A movie that I have just recently added to my “very much enjoy list” is “Lawrence of Arabia.” This movie has a similar theme to other two movies that I really enjoy, “Kingdom of Heaven” and “The Kingdom.” But, I will get to that in a few minutes.
In the passage from Acts, we see Paul and Silas were traveling together on Paul's second missionary trip (Acts 15:36-41) and were currently in Athens, Greece. Paul sees all sorts of idols, including any empty pedestal, and uses them as a springboard for preaching to the local populace in a manner that they could understand. In the 1 Corinthians passage referenced above, we see Paul's strategy a little more in depth. He seeks to understand the culture that he is working in, and then uses that to inform how he teaches them about Christ. He doesn't change the Message of the Gospel, just how he explains it and how he lives amongst them. He does that so that they can understand who Christ Jesus is.
You see, each of us view life through the lens of our unique blend of culture, heritage, and experiences. All of this informs us how to view life. It's the framework that we use in order to understand the world around us. Not only does each country have its own unique culture, but communities within the same country have different forms of culture. Although a whole nation may share some similar cultural features, different areas within the same country will differ somewhat. Local customs, dialects, and unique histories vary greatly from place to place.
Besides the United States, I have experienced the local cultures of Europe and some parts of Iraq. Through visiting distant relatives in Europe and spending a semester in Strasbourg, France, I have a lot of first hand experience with European cultures. I have been able to see local history, experienced local traditions, and visited with many different people. This personal experience, combined with basic knowledge of the German language and history, has opened many doors for me. Whether traveling on a train, sitting in a restaurant, or some other environment, I have been blessed with some fascinating conversations with German people. There have been awkward times where neither of us had enough vocabulary to express all that we wanted to say. But yet, we strove to understand and to be understood.
My experience with the Iraqi culture is a bit more limited. But, especially during my third deployment in 2010-11, I did get to interact with some of the business, government and military leaders in Baghdad. That was because of my job with creating vehicle security passes for vehicles within the International Zone. Not only did I get to interact with some of the Iraqi citizens, but I also got to interact with many of the members of the different embassies. Although I had many positive experiences working with each of them, one situation in particular really stands out with me.
One of the PSD (Personal Security Detail) teams that I worked with was from the Korean Embassy. While in high school, college, and in seminary, I have gotten to know many people from different Asian countries. Because of these experiences, both good and bad, I had fairly good idea of what I should do. When they came to the door, I stood up, walked towards them, and then bowed to them. I acknowledged them according to their culture. They hesitated a moment, then returned the bow. We then got down to business. For whatever reason, they had to leave and return. When they came back a few days later, they literately stood at the door and politely told the OIC (Officer in Charge) that they would like to talk with me. They then patiently waited for me to be ready. Because of the way I had shown them respect, they went out of their way to show me respect.
Over the years, I have talked with many people from different countries while they were either visiting or studying in the United States. While many people do try to show respect to them, it is unfortunate that others within the US do not. This happens while Americans have traveled to different countries to visit and while foreigners have visited the US. Sometimes it's because someone just does not have any experience with other cultures and doesn't understand the differences. There are so many different cultures out there that it would be impossible to understand them all. And most foreigners visiting or studying here understand that. But, there is a big difference between not understanding because of no experience, and not even trying.
Each of the three movies have a common theme. Major world events caused two different cultures to have to work together. In each of the movies, each side had their cultural stereotypes of the other. These stereotypes caused a lot of friction and frustration initially. But, during the movie, people on both sides made the attempt to try and understand the others' perspective, while seeking to more clearly explaining their own. It took time, patience, and a lot of work. But, by the end of the movie, their work paved the way for a lot of mutual respect and learning. In working together, they were able to accomplish a lot of awesome things. Something they could not have accomplished separately.
There have been many times where, in trying to interact with someone of another culture, I 'put my foot into my mouth.' I have made mistakes. I have also striven to learn from those mistakes so that I can better interact with people from a different culture. It is not easy. What is normal in some cultures can be offensive to others. These are easy to find. However, will we strive to set aside the things that we find distasteful and annoying and seek common ground? That is something each and every one of us will have to decide when the time comes. For those of us who follow Christ, we are His ambassadors to this world. How shall we live this out?
Friday, September 18, 2015
Sensing God Speaking
References:
- 1 Kings 19:9-13 NAS
I don't know about any of you out there, but growing up I was teased quite a bit. Because I was introverted, have always had a very vivid imagination, didn't care to hang out with big groups of people, and wasn't all that interested in sports, many kids made fun of me. They could not understand why I did not want to be like them. Although it sometimes hurt a lot, I always felt that I needed to be true to who I was, even if I didn't fully understand it.
One of the benefits of being an INFJ is the 'internal compass' that I possess. Since I more often make decisions on 'what feels right' instead of 'facts,' this 'internal compass' features prominently in my decision making process. That is not to say that I don't consider facts, I definitely do. But, my instincts, or the 'internal compass,' is what I used to make a final decision. Usually the facts and my instincts agree. Sometimes, though, they don't.
After I gave my life to Christ in 1994, I slowly realized that God would use my instincts to direct me to do things. It was His way of speaking to me. Almost like a voice at times. Not a voice I could hear, but a 'voice I could just feel.' Sometimes it was direction to speak with someone, sometimes it would be direction to address something in a class, other times it was “just be quiet for now...” Whether I understood it or not, I strove to respond as I felt God directing me.
This 'listening to my instincts' is not an easy thing to do. Especially when one typically 'feels' his environment as he or she is looking at it. It is an on going challenge to discern what I actually feel, what I am gathering from my environment, as well as what I am seeing. On top of that, what people say and/or do doesn't always match up with what I am perceiving. This is particularly frustrating. Since what I am perceiving isn't something that can be measured, many people blow it off. This can make any sensing person wondering if they are perceiving things right.
Because of challenges in seminary and how things are typically done in the military, I started relying on my intuition less and less. Instead I focused more and more on just my other senses, like sight, touch, hearing, etc. For years I did this and did okay. Since I trusted my 'sixth sense' less and less, I became less and less aware of it. However, one thing that I could not turn off was the fact that I could sense how people were feeling. Although I might be ignoring these cues, I still could feel it.
During this time, I couldn't understand why some days would leave me so extremely exhausted. I would work with someone who was extremely upset or frustrated, and then I would feel that way for hours afterward. There were times I was having a really good day, but then I would either have to work with someone who was really upset about something, or just be near him or her for a while. Not always, but many times, I would start feeling that way and just couldn't understand it.
Eventually I left Active Duty and sought a career in the civilian world. Although I did not want to work for the Nebraska Department of Corrections, I eventually did apply and was subsequently hired. It was a difficult job for me, but one I could do. Through out this time, I would prayerfully ask God to help me “walk by the Spirit.” That is, to listen carefully to what God was speaking to my heart/spirit, and then to respond as He directed me. What I didn't realize then, but am better understanding now, is that since I had been pushing aside my instincts, I was making it more difficult to sense what God wanted to tell me.
Over the years, there were times where I paid more attention to God's nudges via my instincts. But, it was more often that I didn't. Since both Corrections and Military Law Enforcement stress facts, that is what I focused on. And I continued to have stressful days that should have been good. But yet, I would come home from work either angry or depressed for no reason that I could think of. Or, I would just feel so emotionally exhausted that I had to rest for hours.
One afternoon, maybe two years ago now, I was driving to work and spending some time in focused prayer. I had learned many years before that I really needed to have this quality time with God to physically, emotionally and spiritually prepare myself for the day ahead. During this particular day, I found myself praying to God, “help me feel Your leading, help me listen to my instincts.” Maybe not the exact working, but that is essentially what I prayed. And, I was a bit surprised by that prayer. But, I decided to take a leap of faith and try to listen to my instincts.
What I experienced over the next several weeks as I prayerfully did this is hard to explain. I know it wasn't all at once. But, over time, I started getting impressions of things around me that may or may not match what I was seeing or hearing. But, as I walked in faith, I slowly started better perceiving things around me. Honestly, it is hard to describe it. I will be walking and feel the sense that I need to go to a certain area. Or, I will be watching what is going on around me and all of a sudden my hearing will focus on what someone a ways away is saying. There are times where I will be talking with an inmate or a staff member and just 'know' whether or not they are being honest with me. This is even if they are biting back sarcasm or feeling hurt. I still don't quite know how or why I know, I just due.
Some days, I sense more of what I should write. Sometimes it is what I should say to a person. Or, I will see a person and quickly discern what mood they are in. Other times I will be looking for someone and instinctively know where to go. Other times, I won't sense much at all. Some days I will sense how people are feeling around me, other times I will feel next to nothing. I really don't understand why that is. Perhaps it's God's way of protecting me from being overwhelmed? Maybe my senses know when they need to be active? I really don't know.
About a week ago, I started researching my personality type. As I did, things started to better make sense. Now I better understand why other peoples' emotions can affect me so much. Or, that I can sense things about my environment is something to expect for my personality. I am learning that it is a rare kind of gift and that I need to treasure it. I know that God has used it to impact the lives of many people around me. Even if it's just knowing 'what to pray for.' It is a strange gift, one that sometimes doesn't make much sense. But yet, I am striving to walk in faith with God, trusting that He will help me learn how to use it better and for His glory.
- 1 Kings 19:9-13 NAS
I don't know about any of you out there, but growing up I was teased quite a bit. Because I was introverted, have always had a very vivid imagination, didn't care to hang out with big groups of people, and wasn't all that interested in sports, many kids made fun of me. They could not understand why I did not want to be like them. Although it sometimes hurt a lot, I always felt that I needed to be true to who I was, even if I didn't fully understand it.
One of the benefits of being an INFJ is the 'internal compass' that I possess. Since I more often make decisions on 'what feels right' instead of 'facts,' this 'internal compass' features prominently in my decision making process. That is not to say that I don't consider facts, I definitely do. But, my instincts, or the 'internal compass,' is what I used to make a final decision. Usually the facts and my instincts agree. Sometimes, though, they don't.
After I gave my life to Christ in 1994, I slowly realized that God would use my instincts to direct me to do things. It was His way of speaking to me. Almost like a voice at times. Not a voice I could hear, but a 'voice I could just feel.' Sometimes it was direction to speak with someone, sometimes it would be direction to address something in a class, other times it was “just be quiet for now...” Whether I understood it or not, I strove to respond as I felt God directing me.
This 'listening to my instincts' is not an easy thing to do. Especially when one typically 'feels' his environment as he or she is looking at it. It is an on going challenge to discern what I actually feel, what I am gathering from my environment, as well as what I am seeing. On top of that, what people say and/or do doesn't always match up with what I am perceiving. This is particularly frustrating. Since what I am perceiving isn't something that can be measured, many people blow it off. This can make any sensing person wondering if they are perceiving things right.
Because of challenges in seminary and how things are typically done in the military, I started relying on my intuition less and less. Instead I focused more and more on just my other senses, like sight, touch, hearing, etc. For years I did this and did okay. Since I trusted my 'sixth sense' less and less, I became less and less aware of it. However, one thing that I could not turn off was the fact that I could sense how people were feeling. Although I might be ignoring these cues, I still could feel it.
During this time, I couldn't understand why some days would leave me so extremely exhausted. I would work with someone who was extremely upset or frustrated, and then I would feel that way for hours afterward. There were times I was having a really good day, but then I would either have to work with someone who was really upset about something, or just be near him or her for a while. Not always, but many times, I would start feeling that way and just couldn't understand it.
Eventually I left Active Duty and sought a career in the civilian world. Although I did not want to work for the Nebraska Department of Corrections, I eventually did apply and was subsequently hired. It was a difficult job for me, but one I could do. Through out this time, I would prayerfully ask God to help me “walk by the Spirit.” That is, to listen carefully to what God was speaking to my heart/spirit, and then to respond as He directed me. What I didn't realize then, but am better understanding now, is that since I had been pushing aside my instincts, I was making it more difficult to sense what God wanted to tell me.
Over the years, there were times where I paid more attention to God's nudges via my instincts. But, it was more often that I didn't. Since both Corrections and Military Law Enforcement stress facts, that is what I focused on. And I continued to have stressful days that should have been good. But yet, I would come home from work either angry or depressed for no reason that I could think of. Or, I would just feel so emotionally exhausted that I had to rest for hours.
One afternoon, maybe two years ago now, I was driving to work and spending some time in focused prayer. I had learned many years before that I really needed to have this quality time with God to physically, emotionally and spiritually prepare myself for the day ahead. During this particular day, I found myself praying to God, “help me feel Your leading, help me listen to my instincts.” Maybe not the exact working, but that is essentially what I prayed. And, I was a bit surprised by that prayer. But, I decided to take a leap of faith and try to listen to my instincts.
What I experienced over the next several weeks as I prayerfully did this is hard to explain. I know it wasn't all at once. But, over time, I started getting impressions of things around me that may or may not match what I was seeing or hearing. But, as I walked in faith, I slowly started better perceiving things around me. Honestly, it is hard to describe it. I will be walking and feel the sense that I need to go to a certain area. Or, I will be watching what is going on around me and all of a sudden my hearing will focus on what someone a ways away is saying. There are times where I will be talking with an inmate or a staff member and just 'know' whether or not they are being honest with me. This is even if they are biting back sarcasm or feeling hurt. I still don't quite know how or why I know, I just due.
Some days, I sense more of what I should write. Sometimes it is what I should say to a person. Or, I will see a person and quickly discern what mood they are in. Other times I will be looking for someone and instinctively know where to go. Other times, I won't sense much at all. Some days I will sense how people are feeling around me, other times I will feel next to nothing. I really don't understand why that is. Perhaps it's God's way of protecting me from being overwhelmed? Maybe my senses know when they need to be active? I really don't know.
About a week ago, I started researching my personality type. As I did, things started to better make sense. Now I better understand why other peoples' emotions can affect me so much. Or, that I can sense things about my environment is something to expect for my personality. I am learning that it is a rare kind of gift and that I need to treasure it. I know that God has used it to impact the lives of many people around me. Even if it's just knowing 'what to pray for.' It is a strange gift, one that sometimes doesn't make much sense. But yet, I am striving to walk in faith with God, trusting that He will help me learn how to use it better and for His glory.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Wonderfully Made
References:
- Psalm 139:7-18 NAS
- Jeremiah 1:1-10 NAS
- Romans 12:3-13 NAS
- Jung Typology Test
- 16 Personalities
After some thinking and praying, I believe that God is calling me to change things just a little bit with my blog. There will be a continued emphasis on seeking to better understand who God is and how He calls us to reach out to those who are lost, hurting, etc. I will also be adding some original poetry and short essays (for me, a 2-4 page essay is short) reflecting on how I perceive life. That way this blog will be a better reflection of who I am, and be an encouragement to others.
For most of you out there, while in school or while at work, you have most likely heard about personalities tests. Some are more for fun, like which movie character you are most like, or what kind of animal you might be, what kind of car matches your personality, etc. Others are more series, like the ones I listed above. There are many personality tests out there, each measuring different things. Their goal is to help a person better understand what kind of personality they have. This is because one's personality influences how a person interprets and interacts with the world around them.
For example, an introvert is more inwardly focused on his/her thoughts. They can be very creative thinkers, making connections and coming up with ideas that others might miss. They are less social than extroverts and prefer to be alone in their thoughts, a good book, etc. In fact, an introvert needs a lot of time alone to recharge themselves emotionally and spiritually so that they can effectively engage the world around them. Whereas extroverts tend to get most of their recharging interacting with others. Neither is better than the other and both are needed.
Some people are more sensing (external stimuli) while others rely more on intuition. Some are either more thinking (logic) or feeling (how they feel they should react). One place to find more in depth information is here. Just as with the Gifts of the Spirit, I believe that God gives each of us different personalities so as to help us all engage the world more effectively. Because each of us perceives the world differently, and engages the world differently, each of us can contribute more to solving things.
Although I didn't know exactly what my personality type was until I was in seminary, I always knew that I was a bit different. Unlike some of my friends, I did very well in academics and was able to come up with some creative ideas. Unlike many friends who craved being around others, I was almost always content with being by myself. Instead of having a large circle of friends, I have always had a few by very close friends. My very vivid imagination was something else that not many friends shared or understood. In fact, I was often considered 'weird' (putting it politely) because of these traits.
While in seminary, I had to take a personality test as part of the ordination process. It was one of many tests that I had to take. The personality test was to help me better understand who I was. It was also to help those guiding me through the ordination process better understand where I would 'best fit.' I was an INFJ (introvert, intuition, feeling, judging). I kind of knew what this meant, but there was a lot that I didn't. One of the things that I didn't understand was that this is the rarest personality type. I also have learned that it is one of the least understood by a large portion of the personality.
As a whole, we have a 'caregiver' personality. We are good at perceiving how others feel and can often perceive how genuine a person is. We love doing creative things like writing, art, listening to music, etc. We want to help others achieve their goals and/or deal with their problems. One of the things that really sets us apart is the fact that we have very strong inner sense of what is right and what is wrong. We are typically not a confrontational type, but challenging something like our intentions or moral value is something that can set us off.
I don't know how many times I have been brushed to the side because I do not socialize like many others do, or because I often spend time in deep thought. There have been times where others have questioned my intelligence because I could not remember certain specific details about an event. Since I perceive things more through impressions, I remember the details of how I felt and what I noticed of others. Not their clothes, names, etc., but how they were acting, whether they were in a good mood, etc. Although I have grown used to this, it is still not pleasant to experience.
I recently came across a really helpful site called Introvert, Dear. It is full of resources for those of us who are introverts. And, it also has sub categories for different aspects of life and for different personality types. I also recently joined a Facebook group called INFJ Refuge. With these resources, I hope to gain an even better understanding of how I interpret and interact with the world. I also hope to help others learn to be all that they can be as an INFJ.
This is also why I am adding such reflections into my blog. Although we are a very small part of the population, there are many with this personality scattered out there in the world. It is my hope and prayer that some of my reflections of faith and on my personality can be helpful to them. I also hope to help others better understand how some of us interpret the world around us. God created each of us differently for a reason. He wants each of us to contribute in unique ways to the world around us. Sometimes, it can be hard to understand how others can contribute. It is a continuous journey that we all take. Let us strive to encourage one another to do so with committed love.
- Psalm 139:7-18 NAS
- Jeremiah 1:1-10 NAS
- Romans 12:3-13 NAS
- Jung Typology Test
- 16 Personalities
After some thinking and praying, I believe that God is calling me to change things just a little bit with my blog. There will be a continued emphasis on seeking to better understand who God is and how He calls us to reach out to those who are lost, hurting, etc. I will also be adding some original poetry and short essays (for me, a 2-4 page essay is short) reflecting on how I perceive life. That way this blog will be a better reflection of who I am, and be an encouragement to others.
For most of you out there, while in school or while at work, you have most likely heard about personalities tests. Some are more for fun, like which movie character you are most like, or what kind of animal you might be, what kind of car matches your personality, etc. Others are more series, like the ones I listed above. There are many personality tests out there, each measuring different things. Their goal is to help a person better understand what kind of personality they have. This is because one's personality influences how a person interprets and interacts with the world around them.
For example, an introvert is more inwardly focused on his/her thoughts. They can be very creative thinkers, making connections and coming up with ideas that others might miss. They are less social than extroverts and prefer to be alone in their thoughts, a good book, etc. In fact, an introvert needs a lot of time alone to recharge themselves emotionally and spiritually so that they can effectively engage the world around them. Whereas extroverts tend to get most of their recharging interacting with others. Neither is better than the other and both are needed.
Some people are more sensing (external stimuli) while others rely more on intuition. Some are either more thinking (logic) or feeling (how they feel they should react). One place to find more in depth information is here. Just as with the Gifts of the Spirit, I believe that God gives each of us different personalities so as to help us all engage the world more effectively. Because each of us perceives the world differently, and engages the world differently, each of us can contribute more to solving things.
Although I didn't know exactly what my personality type was until I was in seminary, I always knew that I was a bit different. Unlike some of my friends, I did very well in academics and was able to come up with some creative ideas. Unlike many friends who craved being around others, I was almost always content with being by myself. Instead of having a large circle of friends, I have always had a few by very close friends. My very vivid imagination was something else that not many friends shared or understood. In fact, I was often considered 'weird' (putting it politely) because of these traits.
While in seminary, I had to take a personality test as part of the ordination process. It was one of many tests that I had to take. The personality test was to help me better understand who I was. It was also to help those guiding me through the ordination process better understand where I would 'best fit.' I was an INFJ (introvert, intuition, feeling, judging). I kind of knew what this meant, but there was a lot that I didn't. One of the things that I didn't understand was that this is the rarest personality type. I also have learned that it is one of the least understood by a large portion of the personality.
As a whole, we have a 'caregiver' personality. We are good at perceiving how others feel and can often perceive how genuine a person is. We love doing creative things like writing, art, listening to music, etc. We want to help others achieve their goals and/or deal with their problems. One of the things that really sets us apart is the fact that we have very strong inner sense of what is right and what is wrong. We are typically not a confrontational type, but challenging something like our intentions or moral value is something that can set us off.
I don't know how many times I have been brushed to the side because I do not socialize like many others do, or because I often spend time in deep thought. There have been times where others have questioned my intelligence because I could not remember certain specific details about an event. Since I perceive things more through impressions, I remember the details of how I felt and what I noticed of others. Not their clothes, names, etc., but how they were acting, whether they were in a good mood, etc. Although I have grown used to this, it is still not pleasant to experience.
I recently came across a really helpful site called Introvert, Dear. It is full of resources for those of us who are introverts. And, it also has sub categories for different aspects of life and for different personality types. I also recently joined a Facebook group called INFJ Refuge. With these resources, I hope to gain an even better understanding of how I interpret and interact with the world. I also hope to help others learn to be all that they can be as an INFJ.
This is also why I am adding such reflections into my blog. Although we are a very small part of the population, there are many with this personality scattered out there in the world. It is my hope and prayer that some of my reflections of faith and on my personality can be helpful to them. I also hope to help others better understand how some of us interpret the world around us. God created each of us differently for a reason. He wants each of us to contribute in unique ways to the world around us. Sometimes, it can be hard to understand how others can contribute. It is a continuous journey that we all take. Let us strive to encourage one another to do so with committed love.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Physical and Spiritual Nutrition
References:
- Psalm 42 NAS
- John 6:26-40 NAS
For some people, hunger is a daily issue. Because of poverty, famine, war, etc., they go without food much more than they are with. Every day is a struggle just to survive. Because of the lack of food, they are more often sick, which puts their lives in greater peril.
For most of my life, I have had plenty to eat. There have been times while at work or out in the field that I have had less than what I wanted. But, even then, I have not been in great need. Not like many people out there who are starving on a regular basis.
There have been a few times where I have chosen to limit my food during a time of fasting. Usually it is because there is something significant going on in my life or I need God's clear direction. It is only for a short period of time that I go without my normal food intake. And during that time, I usually drink a lot of milk, fruit juices and water. That way I still stay hydrated and get some nutrition. I also cut back on my physical activity in proportion of my limited food intake. It is all in a controlled manner so as to help me focus more on Bible study and prayer.
Has there been a time in your life where you went without for an extended period of time? Has there been a time where you have struggled with hunger, weariness, or excessive thirst? I seem to struggle more with just tiredness. Some nights it's because I'm stressed and can't sleep well. Other times I have to work very long hours and get very little sleep afterward. I do remember one time, though, when I was so hungry my body was shaking.
Back in 2011, I left the Nebraska Department of Corrections to pursue what I was hoping to be a ministry career. When it came time to move, my wife traveled ahead with our son to our new home to get thing set up there. Although I was expecting help, I was going to be working on my own for several hours. Well, because my help was delayed, I ended up working over 6 hours by myself. Having been to college and seminary, and having a family, we had quite a bit of furniture. Throughout the morning and into the afternoon, I packed at least half of a large truck full of things. I was so focused on getting things loaded that I didn't think about eating.
In the afternoon, my help finally arrived. I was so excited about this that, though I was starting to feel hungry, I continued to work. They helped me load quite a few large pieces of furniture and finish packing the truck. Because it was now starting to get late into the afternoon, we still had to travel over an hour to our new home, and unpack everything, I didn't think about eating. Instead, I closed up the truck, made sure the house was locked, and we took off. About 30ish minutes into the drive, I started feeling very sluggish. Not too long after that, I started feeling weary and my limbs started shaking. Not a good thing to happen while driving through a city in a 20+ foot moving van!
By God's grace, we got to our destination safely. By that time, I felt bone tired, my body was shaking like I was really cold, and I wasn't too coordinated. After opening the back of the van, I excused myself so that I could get something to eat and drink. The church members had brought pizza for everyone and I took the opportunity for a 'quick break.' It wasn't until after my third piece of pizza that I stopped shaking and started feeling better. It turns out that I had worked so hard and burned so many calories that my body was in desperate need of fuel and nutrition. I don't remember how long of a 'break' I took, but most of the stuff was moved in by the time I finished eating and drinking.
It's rare for me to be so tired and hungry that I shake like that. But, it has happened a few times. After I participated in the 82nd Airborne All American Week 10 mile run, I was exceedingly exhausted! I am sure that I was so tired and hungry that my body shook. A couple of times after completing a long ruck march, I would be so exhausted and hungry that I would be shaking and struggling to stay awake. These ruck marches were 12 miles long and we would start very early in the morning. And each of us would be carrying a 35 pound ruck and our assigned weapon.
Sleep deprivation and going without food and water for long periods of time can really hurt our bodies. It causes us to become moody and irritable, we more easily loose our mental focus, we become less coordinated, and we are more likely to make bad decisions. Going without water can cause death within hours. Going without adequate food and/or sleep can quickly affect us, but might not cause death for several days. But yet, if going without physical water and food affects us so much, how might going without spiritual nourishment affect us?
I believe all of us have a physical body that we can touch and see. I also believe that we all have a spirit within us that cannot be seen or measured, but is there nevertheless. And, if it is not healthy, it can affect us physically and emotionally. Without spending time in God's Word, time in prayer, and time worshiping God, alone and with fellow believers, we starve our spirit. When God created us, He created use to be dependent on physical nourishment and upon spiritual nourishment. We need adequate food, water and rest for our physical bodies to be healthy. We need adequate rest and mental stimulation to keep our minds sharp. We also need human interaction and to maintain a healthy level of stress to stay emotionally and mentally healthy. And likewise, God created us to be dependent on Him for our spiritual nourishment.
Without regular time reading God's Word, private and cooperate worship, and time in prayer, we become cutoff from God's spiritual nourishment. When we starve ourselves that way, we often become more stressed, we more easily get distracted by unimportant things, we are more prone to be disobedient to God, and we are more likely to feel dejected, alone, and even afraid.
I have been walking with God for over 21 years now. And I still struggle with keeping myself healthy spiritually. There are times where I am very consistent in my devotions and my prayer life, and there are times where I am not. There are times where I am very consistent in worship, especially with others. And, there are times where I do poorly with that. And whenever I poorly maintain my spiritual health, it starts affecting my emotional and spiritual health.
God created us to be dependent on physical food and water and the need to have adequate rest. We also were created to be in relationship with each other and with Him. Just as doing with out food, water, and sleep can greatly affect us physically, so can starving ourselves spiritually. Let us continue to maintain ourselves physically and spiritually, so that we can be healthy in body, mind, and in spirit.
- Psalm 42 NAS
- John 6:26-40 NAS
For some people, hunger is a daily issue. Because of poverty, famine, war, etc., they go without food much more than they are with. Every day is a struggle just to survive. Because of the lack of food, they are more often sick, which puts their lives in greater peril.
For most of my life, I have had plenty to eat. There have been times while at work or out in the field that I have had less than what I wanted. But, even then, I have not been in great need. Not like many people out there who are starving on a regular basis.
There have been a few times where I have chosen to limit my food during a time of fasting. Usually it is because there is something significant going on in my life or I need God's clear direction. It is only for a short period of time that I go without my normal food intake. And during that time, I usually drink a lot of milk, fruit juices and water. That way I still stay hydrated and get some nutrition. I also cut back on my physical activity in proportion of my limited food intake. It is all in a controlled manner so as to help me focus more on Bible study and prayer.
Has there been a time in your life where you went without for an extended period of time? Has there been a time where you have struggled with hunger, weariness, or excessive thirst? I seem to struggle more with just tiredness. Some nights it's because I'm stressed and can't sleep well. Other times I have to work very long hours and get very little sleep afterward. I do remember one time, though, when I was so hungry my body was shaking.
Back in 2011, I left the Nebraska Department of Corrections to pursue what I was hoping to be a ministry career. When it came time to move, my wife traveled ahead with our son to our new home to get thing set up there. Although I was expecting help, I was going to be working on my own for several hours. Well, because my help was delayed, I ended up working over 6 hours by myself. Having been to college and seminary, and having a family, we had quite a bit of furniture. Throughout the morning and into the afternoon, I packed at least half of a large truck full of things. I was so focused on getting things loaded that I didn't think about eating.
In the afternoon, my help finally arrived. I was so excited about this that, though I was starting to feel hungry, I continued to work. They helped me load quite a few large pieces of furniture and finish packing the truck. Because it was now starting to get late into the afternoon, we still had to travel over an hour to our new home, and unpack everything, I didn't think about eating. Instead, I closed up the truck, made sure the house was locked, and we took off. About 30ish minutes into the drive, I started feeling very sluggish. Not too long after that, I started feeling weary and my limbs started shaking. Not a good thing to happen while driving through a city in a 20+ foot moving van!
By God's grace, we got to our destination safely. By that time, I felt bone tired, my body was shaking like I was really cold, and I wasn't too coordinated. After opening the back of the van, I excused myself so that I could get something to eat and drink. The church members had brought pizza for everyone and I took the opportunity for a 'quick break.' It wasn't until after my third piece of pizza that I stopped shaking and started feeling better. It turns out that I had worked so hard and burned so many calories that my body was in desperate need of fuel and nutrition. I don't remember how long of a 'break' I took, but most of the stuff was moved in by the time I finished eating and drinking.
It's rare for me to be so tired and hungry that I shake like that. But, it has happened a few times. After I participated in the 82nd Airborne All American Week 10 mile run, I was exceedingly exhausted! I am sure that I was so tired and hungry that my body shook. A couple of times after completing a long ruck march, I would be so exhausted and hungry that I would be shaking and struggling to stay awake. These ruck marches were 12 miles long and we would start very early in the morning. And each of us would be carrying a 35 pound ruck and our assigned weapon.
Sleep deprivation and going without food and water for long periods of time can really hurt our bodies. It causes us to become moody and irritable, we more easily loose our mental focus, we become less coordinated, and we are more likely to make bad decisions. Going without water can cause death within hours. Going without adequate food and/or sleep can quickly affect us, but might not cause death for several days. But yet, if going without physical water and food affects us so much, how might going without spiritual nourishment affect us?
I believe all of us have a physical body that we can touch and see. I also believe that we all have a spirit within us that cannot be seen or measured, but is there nevertheless. And, if it is not healthy, it can affect us physically and emotionally. Without spending time in God's Word, time in prayer, and time worshiping God, alone and with fellow believers, we starve our spirit. When God created us, He created use to be dependent on physical nourishment and upon spiritual nourishment. We need adequate food, water and rest for our physical bodies to be healthy. We need adequate rest and mental stimulation to keep our minds sharp. We also need human interaction and to maintain a healthy level of stress to stay emotionally and mentally healthy. And likewise, God created us to be dependent on Him for our spiritual nourishment.
Without regular time reading God's Word, private and cooperate worship, and time in prayer, we become cutoff from God's spiritual nourishment. When we starve ourselves that way, we often become more stressed, we more easily get distracted by unimportant things, we are more prone to be disobedient to God, and we are more likely to feel dejected, alone, and even afraid.
I have been walking with God for over 21 years now. And I still struggle with keeping myself healthy spiritually. There are times where I am very consistent in my devotions and my prayer life, and there are times where I am not. There are times where I am very consistent in worship, especially with others. And, there are times where I do poorly with that. And whenever I poorly maintain my spiritual health, it starts affecting my emotional and spiritual health.
God created us to be dependent on physical food and water and the need to have adequate rest. We also were created to be in relationship with each other and with Him. Just as doing with out food, water, and sleep can greatly affect us physically, so can starving ourselves spiritually. Let us continue to maintain ourselves physically and spiritually, so that we can be healthy in body, mind, and in spirit.
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Sleep, How Elusive
Here
I am.. Waiting for you to visit me..
But,
old friend, you make me wait...
I
lie here, trying to be patient.
Yet
still, you make me wait.
I
lie here and try to sing hymns.
Oh,
how amazing is Your Grace, oh Lord.
Here
I am, Lord, it is I Lord...
Why
so downcast oh my soul...
Why
do I still linger?
Where
have you gone, my friend?
Why
do you allude me?
Why
are you hiding?
Was
it something I said?
In
the stillness, people shuffle by.
Any
occasional conversation is heard.
Sometimes
joyful...
Sometimes
angry...
Sleep,
why do you make me linger?
I
go online and share a praise,
that
is still on my heart.
A
loved one is home,
seems
to be on the mend.
I
thank people for their prayers,
I
talk briefly with my wife,
I
ask a few questions,
I
choose to log off, hoping to sleep.
But
yet, I linger...
Oh,
sleep, why have you abandoned me?
Do
not remember?
Remember
how frustrated my week has been?
That
I have been working hard,
trying
to correct a dumb mistake.
I
have felt drained, tired,
just
wishing for sweet rest.
To
be rested, restored
You
visited me last night,
I
had felt a little better.
But
yet now, my hopes are being dashed
as
I lie awake, waiting...
In
just a few hours, I must awaken,
go
to Chapel,
sing
praises and worship God.
But
yet, I wait for you, sweet sleep.
Sermons
can be encouraging,
sweet
food for the soul,
or
painful rebukes for not being true.
Or
funny, or sad...
But
it may be confused for me,
not
being here or there,
just
being tired, hardly aware...
Sleep,
why are you being so mean?!
Here
I lay me down to sleep,
I
pray to God and count sheep.
Wooly
uncomforted, tired, awake...
Baa...
Baa... Amen...
Here
I lay, waiting to sleep.
The
sheep are AWOL,
gone
without my permission!
Am
I a helpless case?!
Sleep...
Sleep... Where art thou?
I
have not abandoned you,
I
am still here, waiting...
Just
where the heck are you?!
The
game of hide and seek,
is
just plain mean!
Why
do you insist on this torture?
Why
must I linger, tired and awake?
I
hear my roommate's breathing,
regular,
resting, asleep.
Why
him and not me?
I
don't get it. Enlighten me, please!
I
toss and I turn, waiting...
Tired
and awake, I listen to voices
from
next door, from down the row.
Why
do I hear them and not dream deep?
Is
there something I need to pray about?
Something
I need to confess?
Is
there something I need to know?
Oh
joy... My stomach just growled...
Sleep...
Sleep.. Oh, where art thou?
Why
have you abandoned me? Lingering?
Why
are you gone?
Come
back, come back, bring me food!
Oh
joy... Oh joy... No more baas or wool.
Here
I linger, tired and hungry...
I
guess I have to the best of everything.
Sheep
are away, can't be counted upon.
They
can't be counted, can't be lamb chops.
Here
I am, tired and hungry...
Wanting
to sleep...
Wanting
to eat...
Sleep,
you are ever so mean!
You
are a bully, goats gruff!
Oh,
wait... Sheep and goats?
Is
sleeplessness not enough?!
Must
parables linger with me, too?
Now,
here I am, lingering, tired...
Sheep
are AWOL, goats linger...
My
thoughts are hungry...
Now,
I'm confused...
Sleep,
why do you hide?
What
have I done?
Come
back to me! Make haste!
I
am tired of being hungry, awake!
The
Lord is my Shepherd, I shall want...
Ham
and eggs, sheep to count...
No...
Sleep, come back!
Oh,
it's no use...
Sleep,
in my need, you have left..
Sleep
has left the building!
I
ramble... Thoughts are jumbled...
My
stomach rumbles...
Oh
me, oh my, oh, my kingdom for some Zs.
But
here I linger,
amongst
tired and hungry thoughts...
Do
I now here sleep laughing?
Is
it just me, or mutton I get some sleep?
I
am wooly awake...
Tired,
hungry, awake...
These
sheep jokes are getting my goat.
Need
I say more, sleep, my old friend?
Are
you satisfied with my ramblings
Is
this a joke?! Are you amused?!
For
here I linger, hungry for you.
Ray
C. Underwood
13SEP2015
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