References:
• Our Daily Bread for May 23, 2017
• Safe Places for Sensitive Students
• General Information on “Lawful use of Force”
• Ways to deescalate a situation
I admit, I am way behind in doing my devotions with Our Daily Bread. I will be consistent for a while, but then slack off for several days. Then I might catch up a few days, then get busy with life and not do any for several weeks. Work 12 hour shifts at a prison four days a week often make it that much harder. I am sure many of you can relate to how easy it is to get distracted by life.
But, when I read this ODB (Our Daily Bread) entry, it stirred many different thoughts in me. The first had to do with my experiences at the prison. Secondly, I was reminded of the numerous news articles I have read or seen on the news about 'safe zones' on many of our college campuses. Especially since I have been going through our books, including many of my college and seminary books, I am reminded of many contrasting experiences that I had there. I also thought about the many experiences I have had while working in a prison.
It is my experience that almost all of the time, a gentle response will calm things down. But, this is not always the case. At the prison that I work at, this usually is effective. If an Inmate is having a bad day and I respond to him in a calm and respectful manner, usually this will help them to calm down. Even if it is not something that I can take care of, if I treat the Inmate with dignity and respect and attempt to help him, it often works.
There have been times, though, when an Inmate purposefully gets themselves as upset as they can in order to cause problems. Or, there are times that, no matter what I do, they stay angry and/or uncooperative. If they have anger issues, are on some kind of intoxicant, having a mental health crisis, etc., their ability to cooperate and calm down are significantly reduced. And, there are some Inmates who love to cause problems on purpose. It’s their entertainment, or their way at lashing out at those who represent law and order.
I gave my life to Christ during my sophomore year in college. Although I had grown up a pastor’s kid, I had not cared about applying God’s Word to my life and living for Him as a child. As a young adult, I was now prayerfully doing so. And part of that was explaining my faith perspective in papers as was appropriate. This was especially the case in the introduction to philosophy class and an applied psychology class that I was taking. The professor of the philosophy class was a staunch atheist and the woman who taught my psychology class was very liberal in her views. Though our world and moral views different on many points, they respected my opinions. Both of them also took time outside of class to talk with me about how I shared my beliefs. They not only challenged me in what I said, but they also helped me with how to express my thoughts and beliefs in a clear manner. Most of the time in the classroom, all students were free to express their views, and all views would be challenged with, “Okay, why do you believe this?”
I admit, I was so excited about sharing my faith as a young Christian that I often did not express myself as well as I could. This was with in class participation and with written assignments. Many professors and quite a few classmates worked with me on this. They helped me to learn how to better express my beliefs in ways that others would be more willing to listen to.
There were some classes in college and several in seminary where this was not the case. If my moral and/or theological beliefs were not the similar or exactly like those who ‘were in power,’ then I was looked down upon, sometimes mocked. It seemed that no matter how respectful I tried to be with them and ‘agree to disagree,’ some were not interested. It was either ‘my way or the highway’ with them. Needless to say, that made life very difficult at times for me and other students who shared similar beliefs with me.
Even though those were trying times, and even though it was not right to put us through that kind of harassment, it did help me to learn how to persevere, handle conflict in a Christ-like manner, how to refine and improve stating my beliefs, etc. They meant it for evil, but God used it for good.
In this fallen world, we will encounter difficulties, conflict, hatred, etc. There are times were a ‘soft answer’ will turn wrath aside. There will be times where you will be able to reason with someone and resolve conflict peacefully. But, though it’s important to try, it is just as important to remember that there are people who will be determined to cause problems, who want to injure or kill others. Being ready for that is critical, I believe. I do not ascribe to the idea that, “there is a demon behind every rock.” I do believe that there is always the potential of a demon being there. As an INFJ and as a Christian, I seek to live peacefully with others. This is something God calls each of us to do. As often as possible, I seek God’s wisdom in resolving things peacefully. However, I have spent years training so that if things cannot be resolved peacefully, I hope that those of you out there will seek God’s wisdom with how to live peacefully with others, and how to protect yourself, your loved ones, or the stranger amongst you.
Whether it’s conflict with your spouse, your child, a co-worker, your neighbor, taking time to listen and talk calmly can greatly help the situation. It has been my experience that sometimes, all it takes is someone taking the time to listen to their pain and anger and responding respectfully is all that it takes to resolve things. Or, at the very least, to open the door to peaceful resolution. I also recommend you talk with your religious/clergy, someone in law enforcement, or similar vocation for tips to use. I also encourage you to take self-defense lessons and/or fire-arms training, so that you can learn how to respond with other means do not work or are not an option because of that particular situation. How you choose to respond is always your responsibility. Each of us must accept responsibly for the chooses we make. All of us also have the responsibility to learn what we can so that we can deal with life in constructive and wise ways.
