Agenda Hijacking

(This will be written as I originally wrote it about 1.5 days ago. Things have been a little busy, so I haven’t been able to post this blog entry until now. I hope that you enjoy it.)

At the time of putting ‘pen-to-paper,’ it is almost 3 AM, Sunday, February 18, 2018. I have just sat down after brewing some tea so that I can write down what my mind has been pondering for a good hour. I don’t get times like this very often, where I feel inspired to write and can sit down to write it down.

There has been tragedy in the news, once again. There was another school shooting in Florida, with 17 killed and maybe 50 injured. All done by one angry, young man. Who may or may not have ties to white supremacist. I don’t know much of the details because I have been very busy with work, family, dealing with some really bad back pain, etc. But, truth be known, I probably won’t read much from the main news networks because I am getting pretty sick and tired of all the special interest groups hijacking the events for their own agendas.

Pretty much every day, be it on tv, on Facebook, on LinkedIn, or some other place, I see one article after another take an event, be it current or not, and make it fit their particular agenda. Those wanting stricter gun control will focus on the details that support their agenda. Those touting a ‘armed everybody” will focus on those details that give credence to theirs. The list goes on and on.

And while we are allowing the special interest groups to pull us one way or another, there are still many people still bleeding, still hurting, still mourning, still screaming, Why God, why?!” and still people ready to stone others who don’t see life their way, etc. To me, that is the greatest tragedy.

I am in my mid-forties and will be celebrating a birthday soon. I have served in the US Army, both Active Duty and in the Nebraska National Guard. Although my current job is with the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services, I have worked as a church pastor, done sales floor at Office Depot, done landscaping, worked as a lifeguard, etc. Each of these events are a part of me. Though some aspects might have a greater influence, they are all a part of me.

It saddens me that this happens so often, but id doesn’t surprise me at all. On the rare occasion where this “addenda hijacking” doesn’t happen, it’s like a breath of fresh air! I try to enjoy it as much as I can, even if it’s a perspective that I don’t necessarily agree with or can relate to. And, I am naturally angered when my perspective, my narrative is hijacked for someone else’s agenda.

About two decades ago, I was attending Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary and working on becoming an ordained minister with the Presbyterian Church (USA). As part of the ordination process, I had to attend a three day ‘career counseling workshop.’ My experience was a very negative one because of how they ‘evaluated’ me. One example that I will share is thus…

We were to spend some time drawing how we saw ourselves at this point and time in our lives, and give a narrative why we saw ourselves that way. We each had a large piece of newprint paper (probably 24x36 inches, and very thin paper) and a lot of pens, pencils, crayons, etc. My picture was of me hiking on a trail in the woods, complete with backpack, walking stick, and a hat. I was on a pat that was lined by trees, and on a hill. My narrative was that I was on a hill during this journey of my life, and that I could see a lot before me. Because I was in a forest with lots of hills, my exact route was hidden. I new which direction I needed to go (ministry), but the exact details were hidden. I also added in my narrative that I could occasionally see bits and pieces of my path, but mostly unknown. And, most of all, I was excited about everything!

After we all shared our narratives, those leading the discussion/session, gave their ‘observations.’ Bare in mind that I have always been an introvert, very introspective, a lover of nature and exploring, and a lover of learning. Although I had grown up in the church as a pastor’s kid, my personal relationship with Christ was just starting to really brow and blossom. The ‘career counselors,’ though, interpreted my narrative very differently. You see, they only saw a young man who was lost, alone, and afraid. And, I needed ‘professional help’ to get read of my ‘shyness’ and become ‘more outgoing,’ as well as to deal with many (supposed) issues with adoption and other things. I was angry then.

A few weeks later, when I receive their 8ish page ‘report,’ I was outraged! When I shared it with my small group of close friends (felt more like a family), they barely recognized the person in the report. This is based on their experiences with me over more than 6 months of being together. A couple of brothers-in-Christ sat down with me at different times to discuss what I could use to better myself and what was not worth keeping.

Although my time at LPTS was often very difficult, I was blessed with my wonderful friends and many enriching experiences. And, I will share one of my more positive experiences with you.

During my senior year, I took an ethics class on Frederick Douglass. Some of the books were written by the former slave who became a major voice with the US abolitionist movement before and during the American Civil War. Other books were written about him. In our class, there was the instructor and 10-12 students. All of us students ranged from very conservative to very liberal in theology and politics. We also varied in age from 20-something to over 50. A very diverse group, indeed! Though our Professor might not have always agreed with our observations or perspectives, he encouraged us to share them. He also challenged us with, “have you considered this perspective,” or “Okay, why did this impact you so much?” He also kept the discussion on the topic and minimized the rabbit trails and personal agendas. It was a challenging, but deeply enriching experience!

Now, I have done my own ‘agenda hijacking’ to an event and used it to push forward something that is important to me. That is, try to learn all you can from the whole situation. Don’t just let people speak, but listen to what they are saying. Be there to help them. Even if you disagree with their life stories, listen. In listening to what people are saying, we can learn and grow. By at least trying to understand their perspective, maybe we can help others to heal and grow, too.

Right now, there is a tragedy unfolding before our eyes. A tragedy so terrible more lives could be lost. A tragedy of anger, maybe even pride and/or deep lostness. A tragedy of a very young man so angry, who became so bitter, that he chose to take the lives of at least 17 people, some of whom ma not hae had any role in this ager, his malice. A young many with the intestinal fortitude to take ownership with what he did, not deny it.

Where his actions wrong? Absolutely! Should he be held accountable for his actions? Yes! Should we cast him a way and do nothing more with him? May it never be! He needs healing in his live, just like those who were injured or lost loved ones need healing in theirs. His friends and family need help with their own grief, mourning, anger, confusion, etc. Each of them are a human being, each made in the Image of God. Each of them deserves love and compassion.

Are we brave enough to help each of them? Or, will we choose to just follow some easy path/agenda that pleases us or is comfortable. Our chose will have repercussion in the future. What kind of future do we want for ourselves and our children?

An Update

I know that I have not posted anything on my blog for quite a while. In fact, it has been a month since my last entry. For those who do really enjoy reading my posts, I do apologize for not sharing anything until now. I have been extremely busy these last few months.

For over a year now, I have been working on an on-line course for the Army. It is a self-directed course that I have to do to keep my E6. I have been working on it, during my free time, for over a year, and still working on it. There is a lot to it, unfortunately….

Along with that course, I am also doing an ADSO (Additional Duty Safety Officer) course. It is the ‘course that never ends!’ (Think: “This is the Song that Never Ends!”). Although I have spent several weeks of time (spread out over several months), I am only in ‘the 5th section’ of at least 6. Unfortunately, because it is several ‘lessons’ within the same ‘section,’ the course does not show exactly how much I have done, or how much more I have to do. And, each ‘lesson’ has at least 6 sub-lessons. Each of these sub-lessons take several hours to do. Very, very time consuming!

On top of those two courses, I have my weekly Bible Study, take care of and do things with my family, and all of that upon my regular work at the prison. It has been extremely draining for me trying to stay on top of all of this, as I am sure that you can guess. In fact, it has been so difficult for me to juggle all of this, I took a month-long break from doing my Bible Study so that I might be able to focus better on the on-line courses. It has worked somewhat, but I still haven’t finished them.

Unfortunately, I have also been fighting more and more with my lower back pain and the arthritis in my knees. This has made working very difficult at times. And, all of this adds to my stress.

Although I am very good at my job with State Corrections, it is not a job that I get a lot out of most days. For those who don’t know, working in corrections can be very stressful and very draining. This is especially so in a maximin security institution, like what I work in. Not only do I have to be very cognizant of all that is happening around me, but also around my co-workers. On top of that, I have to deal with very manipulative people (not all Inmates are manipulative, but many are). And, doing that for 12 hours a day….

I know that many of you out there face more difficulties on a daily basis than I do. Just as many of you would have a very difficult time fathoming all that I deal with. Each of us have our own unique set of experiences and perspectives. Each of us have our own cultural backgrounds that can either help or hinder how one deals with things. It’s things like that which make each of us unique. Although, these backgrounds can either make it easier or more difficult to relate with others.

Going forward, I really do not know how much time I will have for doing posts. It has been extremely challenging for me to get things done. Then again… Writing and doing art are two of my favorite ways to relax, introvert, and recharge. Reading would be a close second to these two. So, maybe I will try harder to write one or two posts per week. Maybe…

Now, if there are things that you are interested in discussing, please let me know. Did you have problems understanding something that I did a post on? If so, please ask me. Or, if one of my posts has touched your life in a meaningful way, I would love to know that, too. Even though this blog is primarily a creative outlet for me, I would also really like to better get to know my audience, too.