References (Military):
• Five Myths About Military Suicides
• Suicide in the Military
• The Truth About 22 Veteran Suicides A Day
References (Corrections):
• Suicide Among Corrections Officers: It’s Time for an Open Discussion
• Beating The Odds
• Prison Officers Need Help, But They Won’t Ask For It
• Correctional Suicides: Doing Time Takes its Toll
Suicide Prevention
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• Military One Source
• Suicide Prevention Program from Indian Health Service
• CDC Feature on Preventing Suicide
• Veterans Affairs Crisis Line/Resources
Honestly, this is a blog entry that I have been thinking about for almost 1 ½ years now. It is a topic that I am very concerned about, especially from a Military and Corrections standpoint. But, not exclusively. Let me start out by telling you a personal story…
Back in the mid ‘80s, my parents and I were living in Crestwood, KY. It was probably my senior year, sometime in the month of December. Though I don’t remember the exact date, I remember very clearly what I was doing. I was sitting in our living room and watching one of my favorite Christmas movies, “A Christmas Carol.” The version that I was watching was a black-and-white film, probably from the 1950’s. Like usual, I was totally engrossed with it. Then, the phone rang…
I got up and the woman on the line introduced herself as one of the members of our church, Pewee Valley Presbyterian Church. The reason for the call was to inform me that our pastor had committed suicide. I remember just standing there, numb, while I finished talking with the lady from our church. The pastor and I had become pretty good friends over the last year and a half, and had talked about quite a few things.
Here I was, getting ready to celebrate Christmas with my family and… Our pastor was gone… I remember hanging up the phone on the wall, standing there for a while, then I remember I had been watching one of my favorite Christmas movies, so I went back to the sofa to finish it. I am guessing that I was about half through. I just sat there watching for maybe 5 minutes. Then, I decided to just turn it off. I no longer felt like watching it. I just felt so numb… I can’t remember for sure what I did do after I got up and turned off the t.v., not that it mattered. I do remember feeling numb for a day or so.
A few years ago, I learned of the death of a friend of mine who used to work at Tecumseh State Correctional Institution. Todd and I had been friends for at least three years and really enjoyed working together and talking with each other. Todd had moved from Nebraska to Kansas and, from what I knew, was doing well. I knew that he had left Corrections because of issues that he had with some of the staff, as well as some of the Inmates. What I didn’t know was that, because of all the issues that he had been having, he had abused alcohol so much that his body essentially stopped working correctly and he died. He was born in 1966 and died in March of 2013. His sister had contacted me via Facebook to give me the sad news. She had known of our friendship even though we had never met. She also explained why Todd had died. ‘Feeling sad’ really didn’t describe how I felt.
I am sure that each of you reading this blog entry have been touched by suicide. I am sure each of you have been left wondering, “What went wrong?” Or maybe, “What should I have done differently?!” Or possibly “Why did I miss the warning signs?!” It is easy to not just think about those things, but to become focused on them.
People commit suicide for different reasons. Usually it is because they are trying to find a way stop the physical, emotional, or mental pain that they are feeling at the time. There have been many studies on why people commit suicide, and it is not what this blog is about.
I have been in the US Army (both Active Duty and with the Nebraska National Guard) for 15 years now. I have been with the Nebraska Department of Corrections for about 8 1/3 years now. Both of those are very high stress jobs. Although I am often thanked for my Service, not everyone understands the kind of experiences that I have had. Unfortunately, I rarely, if ever, get any kind of ‘thanks’ for my service in Corrections outside of my immediate family and close circle of friends.
I knew going into Corrections that it would probably be a ‘thankless’ job. Back in 2006 when I first started my Corrections training, Law Enforcement professionals were already been looked down upon. I knew that working in a prison would be a hard job to do, and many around me did not leave me disappointed. The stress that Custody (or Line) Staff have to deal with on a daily basis, plus a society that often misunderstand us or grossly dislikes us, can easily lead to lots of stress and the impression that there are few outlets out there for dealing with it. The same can be true for those in our Armed Forces.
The thing is, there are those out there who do genuinely care, both in Corrections and in the Military. In the Army, we have Peer-to-Peer trained soldiers and those who have had ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training), myself being one who has both. Annually, those of us who work for the Nebraska Department of Corrections (NDCS) take refresher training on suicide prevention. Though it focuses more on dealing with Inmate suicide, the concepts there can be used with co-workers, too.
The thing is, there are many people out there who genuinely care. There are many people out there who want to help out. Even if they do not understand what you are going through, they still want to help and support you. The important thing is to keep asking, to keep searching for those who do care.
There are two analogies that I have learned concerning how things build up to wanting to commit suicide. The first one is the ‘blinders’ analogy. Have you ever seen a horse pulling a buggy? Over the eyes of the horse are what’s called ‘blinders.’ They are items to ‘blind’ the horse to things that are happening around it, keeping it focused straight ahead. As a person goes through life and stress and pain start building, a person can develop blinders that hinder him or her from seeing the ‘whole picture.’ As time goes on, he or she becomes more and more focused on the source of their pain (emotional, physical, etc.) and less and less on the options available. Maybe not the best analogy, but one that help.
Another good analogy that I found came from my ASIST training (site is https://www.livingworks.net/). Picture in your mind a dam with a large reservoir behind it, the canyon walls off to the sides in front of the dam, and then a pump house at the base. The reservoir symbolizes all that is in your mind (thoughts, feelings, memories, etc.). The pump house symbolizes the way that you process everything. The dam is, well, you. When a person is effectively regulating one’s emotions, thoughts, etc., the water behind the dam and the water coming out of the pump house work effectively. However, when there gets to be an excess of water within the reservoir and/or the pump house has problems regulating everything, cracks can start forming within the dam, water can start spilling out around the dam wall, the water can start flowing over the dam wall, etc. This can be a slow build up, caused by a traumatic event(s), created or aggravated by drug and/or alcohol abuse, etc. As the well becomes more and more overwhelmed, the odds of something ‘rash’ to deal with everything becomes more and more likely.
Again, these are only analogies. And I feel the need to emphasize that each and every one of us are dealing with different things in our lives. What may not really bother one person can greatly affect someone else. Some people thrive in environments of challenge, conflict, etc. Others excel and grow in areas of calm and quiet. We are all different, and we each react to things differently. But, no matter how difficult things may be, no matter how dark your life might seem right now, there are many out there who do care and want to help. And if one doesn’t understand what you are feeling or are not sure with how to help, the do want to help and at least walk with you during this challenging time. Keep searching and asking until one does help you.
Monday, May 23, 2016
A Lifelong Journey
Many years ago, I was in seminary and working on becoming ordained with the Presbyterian Church (USA). One of the many requirements that I had to fulfill was attend a multiple day workshop with several career counselors. If I remember correctly, it took place during a weekend, not that it matters too much for this story.
I was not the only one participating in this career counseling session. There were at least three other people involved. Being that it took place almost 20 years ago, I can't remember a lot of the details. If memory serves me correctly, there was at least one 'group counseling session,' an individual counseling session, a battery of questionnaires, and quite a few group discussions. I believe that one of the questionnaires was on the Gifts of the Spirit and another one was the Meyers Briggs personality test. I know that one of the results of that test was being introverted. At this time, I cannot remember what the other three letters were of my 'type.'
During one of the discussions, we had to draw a picture of how we viewed our currently relationship with God. Each of us had a large piece of paper (something along the line of 24 inches by 36 inches, maybe a little smaller) to draw on. Of course, each of us drew something different. That's to be expected.
Not only did we have to draw the pictures, but we had to explain what it meant. And, I was more than willing to do so. The woods symbolized a brief period in my life where I faced a lot of challenges. Part of which was the room situation that I had endured several years prior with two of my four roommates. It was a very difficult time for me, but one I will discuss in another blog entry. Suffice to say, the pain and difficulties I had experience in Strasbourg, France, helped to facilitate my turning to Christ the following January.
Although I did not how to exactly explain it, I drew me by myself because that is how I often was. Not that because I felt I didn't need others. On the contrary, I do. However, being more introverted, I do a lot of things alone in order to be able to better enjoy being with others. I also tried to explain that though I was standing by myself at the top of the wooded hill, I wasn't completely alone. The picture was through the eyes of someone else.
Being at the top of a hill and the foreground being out of sight symbolized the fact that I didn't know what all the future held. Though I could see a little ways in front of me, I could not see all where the path would lead. There were other hills, valleys, streams, etc., in front of me that I was catching glimpses of. They had been hidden form me until I had reached that hill top. But, the person behind me still had the perspective that I just had. The one of not knowing what the future would hold. To myself and the person behind me, things are being revealed very slowly, by bits and pieces.
You are probably wondering why I would draw something like that. Well, a lot of it is because of the things that I experienced while growing up. The vacations that we took as a family and my love for walking, exploring new places, learning new things, etc., were all influential with developing this 'life is a journey' outlook.
I grew up a preacher's kid, the son of a Presbyterian (USA) minister. Each and every summer we would go on vacation and visit different places. Most summer vacations included visiting relatives, but not always. It was almost always by car, when traveling from place to place. Like a typical kid, I would sometimes get bored and ask, “Are we there yet?!” But, a lot of the times, my parents and I would play games to help make it seem that time was going by faster.
Having traveled all over the United States, I developed a real love for seeing different sights and learning about different places. I remember one especially challenging summer vacation when I was 10 years old. My parents, my Dad's cousin and his godson, and myself hiked the Grand Canyon. We went down the south rim and up the north rim. It was physically very demanding for all of us. I remember being very tired every day, but loving all of the sights, smells, experiences.
All of these many experiences, even traveling to Europe three times, have helped me to develop the mindset of life being a journey. It starts when we are born and ends when we die. The sights that we see, the people that we meet, and the choices that we make all influence what our journey will be like and how it will end. Sometimes things happen along our journey of life that are unexpected, painful and not of our choosing. Even though such difficulties are hard to accept, it is a part of life. We can make one wonderful choice after another and enjoy the beauty that God has created around us. But, because of sin in the world, things can go wrong and we suddenly experience pain, sadness, anger, bitterness, even death. That is, unfortunately, a part of life as a whole.
But, there is great beauty, if we take time to enjoy it. Although I usually have a quick pace, I have learned the importance of stopping from time-to-time, and just taking in my surroundings. Taking them in, savoring them, experiencing all that is around me. Being more introverted than extroverted, I usually have the preference of doing things on my own. That way I can emotionally and mentally recharge while I am enjoying life around me. But, just like everyone else, I need to love and be loved. I need to spend time with others so that I grow as a person and fully enjoy all that is around us. No person is an island. We cannot permanently separate ourselves from others. We all need time alone, those some need more than others. We all need loved ones in our lives to share in this journey.
I don't know if my parents understood that I was an introvert back then, or what that meant for me. I do know that they did allow me the space that I needed most of the time, often without question. This enabled me to ponder things, organize my thoughts, sort things out, so that I could better understand what I was thinking and feeling. And again, all of this walking and think, mental sorting, helped to develop my sense of life being a journey. One that I sought to enjoy as much as possible.
One of the things that bring me great satisfaction is walking with a person who is struggling with something. Although I am sure that this has happened a lot over the years, it became more apparent to me while I was in college. I gave my life to Christ in January of 1994. During the following fall, I had several 'odd' experiences. While walking to and from different classes, someone would start walking with me. Not only would they walk with me, they would start sharing something that was bothering them. I was stunned that this was happening to me. During each conversation, I would listen and share my observations, make suggestions, or whatever else I felt led to do. This happened several times over a period of two weeks. And, as time went by, I noticed how much satisfaction I got out of helping others. Even if I only listened to they share their burdens, I felt good about it. It was through these experiences that I felt God calling me to attend seminary.
As my journey continued over the years, I found myself 'journeying' with others. Sometimes it would be for a brief period of time. Other times it would be multiple conversations. No matter how long the 'shared journey' goes, I almost always feel a deep sense of satisfaction that I had helped someone, even in a small way. Even today, I find myself willingly walking '100 miles' with someone who has a burden that they need to share. When it comes to arguments and debates, I reach my limit very, very quickly. But, for someone who has a genuine need, I can walk a long ways with them.
I know that God gives different Spiritual Gifts to different people. To some God enables them to have deep insights and lots of knowledge. To others, He gives a Gift of prophecy (more 'forth-telling' of God's Word than 'fore-telling'). Still others receive a Gift of leadership. At least one of the Spiritual Gifts that God has given me is pastoring. That is, to mentor, protect, nurture, help, etc. Like what a shepherd does with his/her flock. It is something that I do naturally due to my personality.
Quite a glimpse into who I am, huh? And to be honest, this is just a small bit of me. Over the decades, God has been enabling me to discover new things about myself, new things about others, and new things about Him. It has been an incredible, ‘journey of discovery.’ Not everything I have learned has been pleasant. But, it has all been important for one reason or another.
Have you ever taken time to examine your faith walk and what you have learned over the years? Even if you have been a Follower of Christ for a few months or just a year or so, you have had a faith journey. I encourage you to think about it. It may be quite the eye opener!
I was not the only one participating in this career counseling session. There were at least three other people involved. Being that it took place almost 20 years ago, I can't remember a lot of the details. If memory serves me correctly, there was at least one 'group counseling session,' an individual counseling session, a battery of questionnaires, and quite a few group discussions. I believe that one of the questionnaires was on the Gifts of the Spirit and another one was the Meyers Briggs personality test. I know that one of the results of that test was being introverted. At this time, I cannot remember what the other three letters were of my 'type.'
During one of the discussions, we had to draw a picture of how we viewed our currently relationship with God. Each of us had a large piece of paper (something along the line of 24 inches by 36 inches, maybe a little smaller) to draw on. Of course, each of us drew something different. That's to be expected.
Not only did we have to draw the pictures, but we had to explain what it meant. And, I was more than willing to do so. The woods symbolized a brief period in my life where I faced a lot of challenges. Part of which was the room situation that I had endured several years prior with two of my four roommates. It was a very difficult time for me, but one I will discuss in another blog entry. Suffice to say, the pain and difficulties I had experience in Strasbourg, France, helped to facilitate my turning to Christ the following January.
Although I did not how to exactly explain it, I drew me by myself because that is how I often was. Not that because I felt I didn't need others. On the contrary, I do. However, being more introverted, I do a lot of things alone in order to be able to better enjoy being with others. I also tried to explain that though I was standing by myself at the top of the wooded hill, I wasn't completely alone. The picture was through the eyes of someone else.
Being at the top of a hill and the foreground being out of sight symbolized the fact that I didn't know what all the future held. Though I could see a little ways in front of me, I could not see all where the path would lead. There were other hills, valleys, streams, etc., in front of me that I was catching glimpses of. They had been hidden form me until I had reached that hill top. But, the person behind me still had the perspective that I just had. The one of not knowing what the future would hold. To myself and the person behind me, things are being revealed very slowly, by bits and pieces.
You are probably wondering why I would draw something like that. Well, a lot of it is because of the things that I experienced while growing up. The vacations that we took as a family and my love for walking, exploring new places, learning new things, etc., were all influential with developing this 'life is a journey' outlook.
I grew up a preacher's kid, the son of a Presbyterian (USA) minister. Each and every summer we would go on vacation and visit different places. Most summer vacations included visiting relatives, but not always. It was almost always by car, when traveling from place to place. Like a typical kid, I would sometimes get bored and ask, “Are we there yet?!” But, a lot of the times, my parents and I would play games to help make it seem that time was going by faster.
Having traveled all over the United States, I developed a real love for seeing different sights and learning about different places. I remember one especially challenging summer vacation when I was 10 years old. My parents, my Dad's cousin and his godson, and myself hiked the Grand Canyon. We went down the south rim and up the north rim. It was physically very demanding for all of us. I remember being very tired every day, but loving all of the sights, smells, experiences.
All of these many experiences, even traveling to Europe three times, have helped me to develop the mindset of life being a journey. It starts when we are born and ends when we die. The sights that we see, the people that we meet, and the choices that we make all influence what our journey will be like and how it will end. Sometimes things happen along our journey of life that are unexpected, painful and not of our choosing. Even though such difficulties are hard to accept, it is a part of life. We can make one wonderful choice after another and enjoy the beauty that God has created around us. But, because of sin in the world, things can go wrong and we suddenly experience pain, sadness, anger, bitterness, even death. That is, unfortunately, a part of life as a whole.
But, there is great beauty, if we take time to enjoy it. Although I usually have a quick pace, I have learned the importance of stopping from time-to-time, and just taking in my surroundings. Taking them in, savoring them, experiencing all that is around me. Being more introverted than extroverted, I usually have the preference of doing things on my own. That way I can emotionally and mentally recharge while I am enjoying life around me. But, just like everyone else, I need to love and be loved. I need to spend time with others so that I grow as a person and fully enjoy all that is around us. No person is an island. We cannot permanently separate ourselves from others. We all need time alone, those some need more than others. We all need loved ones in our lives to share in this journey.
I don't know if my parents understood that I was an introvert back then, or what that meant for me. I do know that they did allow me the space that I needed most of the time, often without question. This enabled me to ponder things, organize my thoughts, sort things out, so that I could better understand what I was thinking and feeling. And again, all of this walking and think, mental sorting, helped to develop my sense of life being a journey. One that I sought to enjoy as much as possible.
One of the things that bring me great satisfaction is walking with a person who is struggling with something. Although I am sure that this has happened a lot over the years, it became more apparent to me while I was in college. I gave my life to Christ in January of 1994. During the following fall, I had several 'odd' experiences. While walking to and from different classes, someone would start walking with me. Not only would they walk with me, they would start sharing something that was bothering them. I was stunned that this was happening to me. During each conversation, I would listen and share my observations, make suggestions, or whatever else I felt led to do. This happened several times over a period of two weeks. And, as time went by, I noticed how much satisfaction I got out of helping others. Even if I only listened to they share their burdens, I felt good about it. It was through these experiences that I felt God calling me to attend seminary.
As my journey continued over the years, I found myself 'journeying' with others. Sometimes it would be for a brief period of time. Other times it would be multiple conversations. No matter how long the 'shared journey' goes, I almost always feel a deep sense of satisfaction that I had helped someone, even in a small way. Even today, I find myself willingly walking '100 miles' with someone who has a burden that they need to share. When it comes to arguments and debates, I reach my limit very, very quickly. But, for someone who has a genuine need, I can walk a long ways with them.
I know that God gives different Spiritual Gifts to different people. To some God enables them to have deep insights and lots of knowledge. To others, He gives a Gift of prophecy (more 'forth-telling' of God's Word than 'fore-telling'). Still others receive a Gift of leadership. At least one of the Spiritual Gifts that God has given me is pastoring. That is, to mentor, protect, nurture, help, etc. Like what a shepherd does with his/her flock. It is something that I do naturally due to my personality.
Quite a glimpse into who I am, huh? And to be honest, this is just a small bit of me. Over the decades, God has been enabling me to discover new things about myself, new things about others, and new things about Him. It has been an incredible, ‘journey of discovery.’ Not everything I have learned has been pleasant. But, it has all been important for one reason or another.
Have you ever taken time to examine your faith walk and what you have learned over the years? Even if you have been a Follower of Christ for a few months or just a year or so, you have had a faith journey. I encourage you to think about it. It may be quite the eye opener!
Sunday, May 15, 2016
A Prayer
The prayer that I will write below is based on the prayer that I typically pray while driving to work or driving by myself to run errands. I do not pray like this every time. The order in which I pray will vary depending on the day. Some days I may focus more on one aspect of this prayer than another. Think of it as a fluid guide, not a set in stone template. If it is helpful for your, then wonderful! If not, at least you know one tool for praying that doesn't help you.
Heavenly Father, here I am traveling to work.
Thank you for all of Your love and grace in my life,
though I know that I do not deserve it.
I give thanks that You are a holy and righteous God.
For without your holiness and righteousness,
I would not know how to live.
I would not know right from wrong,
good from evil.
I also give things that You are a loving and forgiving God.
For without Your love and grace,
I would have no hope.
I would have no peace or joy.
I would still be dead in my sins
and have no eternal life.
Thank You, o Lord, for forgiving me of my sins.
My sins of commission and sins of omission.
Sins that I have committed intentionally,
and those that I committed unintentionally.
For You were pierced for my transgressions,
bruised for my iniquities.
You became cursed to set me free from curses,
for cursed is anyone who is hung on a tree to die.
I give thanks that You took my place!
Though I do not deserve Your love and grace,
You chose to freely give it.
Help me to live a life of thankfulness,
a life of obedience.
Prepare the way before me,
and help me to follow You.
Thank You for putting on me Your Spiritual Armor.
Thank You for putting upon my chest Your Breastplate of Righteousness,
thank You for girding my loins with Your Belt of Truth.
Thank You for shodding my feet with Your sandals
of the Gospel of Peace.
Thank You for putting upon my head
Your Helmet of Salvation.
Thank You for giving me Your
Shield of Faith and the Sword of Your Spirit.
And, thank You Lord, for helping me to take a stand,
even if it means standing alone…
May You continue to bless my family and I indeed…
May You continue to enlarge our borders.
May continue to lay Your hand upon our hearts,
to restrain us from evil,
so that we might not sin against You,
against each other,
and to not grieve Your Holy Spirit.
Help us to be faithful to You.
Lord, I lift up all of us who are in a leadership position,
for You call all of us to lead,
in one form or fashion every day.
Help us to make the right decisions
in all that we do.
Give us the insight with what to do,
the wisdom with what to do,
and the strength and courage to do it!
Heavenly Father, here I am traveling to work.
Thank you for all of Your love and grace in my life,
though I know that I do not deserve it.
I give thanks that You are a holy and righteous God.
For without your holiness and righteousness,
I would not know how to live.
I would not know right from wrong,
good from evil.
I also give things that You are a loving and forgiving God.
For without Your love and grace,
I would have no hope.
I would have no peace or joy.
I would still be dead in my sins
and have no eternal life.
Thank You, o Lord, for forgiving me of my sins.
My sins of commission and sins of omission.
Sins that I have committed intentionally,
and those that I committed unintentionally.
For You were pierced for my transgressions,
bruised for my iniquities.
You became cursed to set me free from curses,
for cursed is anyone who is hung on a tree to die.
I give thanks that You took my place!
Though I do not deserve Your love and grace,
You chose to freely give it.
Help me to live a life of thankfulness,
a life of obedience.
Prepare the way before me,
and help me to follow You.
Thank You for putting on me Your Spiritual Armor.
Thank You for putting upon my chest Your Breastplate of Righteousness,
thank You for girding my loins with Your Belt of Truth.
Thank You for shodding my feet with Your sandals
of the Gospel of Peace.
Thank You for putting upon my head
Your Helmet of Salvation.
Thank You for giving me Your
Shield of Faith and the Sword of Your Spirit.
And, thank You Lord, for helping me to take a stand,
even if it means standing alone…
May You continue to bless my family and I indeed…
May You continue to enlarge our borders.
May continue to lay Your hand upon our hearts,
to restrain us from evil,
so that we might not sin against You,
against each other,
and to not grieve Your Holy Spirit.
Help us to be faithful to You.
Lord, I lift up all of us who are in a leadership position,
for You call all of us to lead,
in one form or fashion every day.
Help us to make the right decisions
in all that we do.
Give us the insight with what to do,
the wisdom with what to do,
and the strength and courage to do it!
Idols in Our Lives
References:References:
• Song “Take Me to Church” w/ lyrics by Hozier
• Exodus 20:1-6 NAS
• Idol – definition, especially 4 (object of extreme devotion)
What comes to your mind when you think of the word ‘idol?’ For a lot of people, what usually comes to their mind is people kneeling and/or bowing before some sort of statue. This is a mental picture that often comes to my mind as well. However, as I am grown in my faith, I have come to realize that such a mental picture is not the only thing that an idol can be.
When I first heard the song, “Take Me to Church” by Hozier, the line that I really focused on was “I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife.” I remember thinking, “What the heck?! That sounds like a very sick congregation!” It reminded me of several congregations that I had been to where God was worshiped in name only. In reality, the people met to worship other things. No, they did not have statues that they bowed down to, nor did they read from other holy books. The pastor read Scripture and preached on it (though, at times, it was very loosely based on Scripture and based more on things that pleased people). Though the Word of God was read and (though sometimes loosely) proclaimed, the hearts of the people where elsewhere.
Instead of wanting to be devoted to God, their devotion was to many other things. Just some of the more common examples would be social status, their jobs, how much money they had, the ‘toys’ that they had, their influence in the community, they clothes that they wore, etc. Along with these idols, I have encountered many churches with the idol of “thank god we are not like those (fill in the blank)!!
“Why are these idols?” you may ask. Although many people would picture people bowing down in front of a statue ‘idol worship,’ that is not the most complete definition. An idol, in reality, is anything that a person has as more important than their relationship with God. Whether it be a relationship, a job, a favorite hobby, etc., anything that hinders our relationship with God (and in turn, with others), is an idol.
Do these attitudes sound familiar? If we are honest with ourselves, we find such attitudes in ourselves every day, to some extent. Some days more so than others. But, each and every one of us has such attitudes. To what extent will depend on the person and the day. But, if we are honest with ourselves, we hold things more important than our devotion to God each and every day.
Many years ago, I heard a saying of, “If you want to know what is important to a person, look at their checkbook.” That is, what they spend the most money on is an indicator as to what is more important. In my opinion, though this idea has its merits, it is not totally accurate. This is because important things like housing and food cost a lot of money. So do essentials like clothing, gas for a car, vehicle and house maintenance, etc. I believe that a much better indicator would be taking a daily planner and plotting out how much time you spend on things each day. Be it work, cooking, cleaning, watching tv, reading, etc. I am sure that a lot of people would be surprised with what they would discover.
The ideal that I have often heard concerning priorities is: God first, then family, then everything else. And, it is definitely a real struggle to maintain one’s priorities in that order. Favorite hobbies, one’s work, basic chores around the house (or apartment or even barracks), quiet time of reflection or reading to recharge, time with friends, etc., all strive for our attention. Have you ever thought about how different things in your life strive for your attention, your time, and your energy?
Eventually, I was able to read all of the lyrics and watch a video that had the lyrics posted while I listened to the music. While the lyrics are fairly dark, I am glad that I read them. Many times, things in our lives become such idols that they truly take over our lives. Think for a moment about a parent who becomes so devoted to their work and ‘climbing the cooperate ladder’ that they sacrifice their family, their friends, and probably even their health. That ‘idol’ becomes so ‘all consuming’ that everything else are ‘sacrificed’ to it. Sacrificed to satisfy that ‘intense need,’ what ever that may be.
I believe that, while God calls us to be fully devoted to Him, it is not to be at the sacrifice of everything else, especially friends and family. Let’s take the Apostle Paul as an example. Throughout the New Testament, we see in his letters to various communities and people the importance of being singularly devoted to God. However, we are also called to be devoted to each other, to the work that we do to earn a living, and to gathering together to worship God. Each of these things are part of a whole, a whole life lived in dedication to serving God and others. We are to live out the ideal as “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself,” (Luke 10:27), then we must consciously and purposely use our time wisely. How that will work will vary from person to person, and on the season of their lives.
And balance in how we serve God can be very difficult! For me, being very introverted and high sensing, being around people can be very draining. Even people that I love! To maintain my emotional health, I have to have quiet time to recharge, process my experiences, etc. However, there are times where I have to set aside my immediate felt needs in order to take care of my family, things are work, etc. Because of the riot in May of 2015 and being short with staffing at the prison where I work, we work 12 hour shifts. And, since I work the day shift, I am constantly around people, being bombarded with various job requirements and addressing the needs of others. Needless to say, I often come home extremely drained. Taking care of my wife and two young children is sometimes extremely difficult for me because I already feel emotionally and physically drained. There are times where I can do things by myself for a while and then come back and take care of my family. However, that is not always the case.
God’s call in our lives to be fully devoted to Him and to love others as we want to be loved is, quite honestly, impossible. We are sinful beings who want to focus on our immediate felt needs. And, God wants us to genuinely worship Him (in spirit and in truth, John 4:23, 24). Not empty phrases and actions, devoid of genuine desire to love and serve Him. Apart from God’s help and the empowering of the Holy Spirit, it is impossible for us. But, the good news is, God wants to enable us to faithfully serve Him and worship Him. Though it may take a long time to prune those things that hinder your love and passion for God (and, in turn, to love and serve others), God wants to help you to do so. Are you courageous enough to ask God to help you?
• Song “Take Me to Church” w/ lyrics by Hozier
• Exodus 20:1-6 NAS
• Idol – definition, especially 4 (object of extreme devotion)
What comes to your mind when you think of the word ‘idol?’ For a lot of people, what usually comes to their mind is people kneeling and/or bowing before some sort of statue. This is a mental picture that often comes to my mind as well. However, as I am grown in my faith, I have come to realize that such a mental picture is not the only thing that an idol can be.
When I first heard the song, “Take Me to Church” by Hozier, the line that I really focused on was “I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife.” I remember thinking, “What the heck?! That sounds like a very sick congregation!” It reminded me of several congregations that I had been to where God was worshiped in name only. In reality, the people met to worship other things. No, they did not have statues that they bowed down to, nor did they read from other holy books. The pastor read Scripture and preached on it (though, at times, it was very loosely based on Scripture and based more on things that pleased people). Though the Word of God was read and (though sometimes loosely) proclaimed, the hearts of the people where elsewhere.
Instead of wanting to be devoted to God, their devotion was to many other things. Just some of the more common examples would be social status, their jobs, how much money they had, the ‘toys’ that they had, their influence in the community, they clothes that they wore, etc. Along with these idols, I have encountered many churches with the idol of “thank god we are not like those (fill in the blank)!!
“Why are these idols?” you may ask. Although many people would picture people bowing down in front of a statue ‘idol worship,’ that is not the most complete definition. An idol, in reality, is anything that a person has as more important than their relationship with God. Whether it be a relationship, a job, a favorite hobby, etc., anything that hinders our relationship with God (and in turn, with others), is an idol.
Do these attitudes sound familiar? If we are honest with ourselves, we find such attitudes in ourselves every day, to some extent. Some days more so than others. But, each and every one of us has such attitudes. To what extent will depend on the person and the day. But, if we are honest with ourselves, we hold things more important than our devotion to God each and every day.
Many years ago, I heard a saying of, “If you want to know what is important to a person, look at their checkbook.” That is, what they spend the most money on is an indicator as to what is more important. In my opinion, though this idea has its merits, it is not totally accurate. This is because important things like housing and food cost a lot of money. So do essentials like clothing, gas for a car, vehicle and house maintenance, etc. I believe that a much better indicator would be taking a daily planner and plotting out how much time you spend on things each day. Be it work, cooking, cleaning, watching tv, reading, etc. I am sure that a lot of people would be surprised with what they would discover.
The ideal that I have often heard concerning priorities is: God first, then family, then everything else. And, it is definitely a real struggle to maintain one’s priorities in that order. Favorite hobbies, one’s work, basic chores around the house (or apartment or even barracks), quiet time of reflection or reading to recharge, time with friends, etc., all strive for our attention. Have you ever thought about how different things in your life strive for your attention, your time, and your energy?
Eventually, I was able to read all of the lyrics and watch a video that had the lyrics posted while I listened to the music. While the lyrics are fairly dark, I am glad that I read them. Many times, things in our lives become such idols that they truly take over our lives. Think for a moment about a parent who becomes so devoted to their work and ‘climbing the cooperate ladder’ that they sacrifice their family, their friends, and probably even their health. That ‘idol’ becomes so ‘all consuming’ that everything else are ‘sacrificed’ to it. Sacrificed to satisfy that ‘intense need,’ what ever that may be.
I believe that, while God calls us to be fully devoted to Him, it is not to be at the sacrifice of everything else, especially friends and family. Let’s take the Apostle Paul as an example. Throughout the New Testament, we see in his letters to various communities and people the importance of being singularly devoted to God. However, we are also called to be devoted to each other, to the work that we do to earn a living, and to gathering together to worship God. Each of these things are part of a whole, a whole life lived in dedication to serving God and others. We are to live out the ideal as “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself,” (Luke 10:27), then we must consciously and purposely use our time wisely. How that will work will vary from person to person, and on the season of their lives.
And balance in how we serve God can be very difficult! For me, being very introverted and high sensing, being around people can be very draining. Even people that I love! To maintain my emotional health, I have to have quiet time to recharge, process my experiences, etc. However, there are times where I have to set aside my immediate felt needs in order to take care of my family, things are work, etc. Because of the riot in May of 2015 and being short with staffing at the prison where I work, we work 12 hour shifts. And, since I work the day shift, I am constantly around people, being bombarded with various job requirements and addressing the needs of others. Needless to say, I often come home extremely drained. Taking care of my wife and two young children is sometimes extremely difficult for me because I already feel emotionally and physically drained. There are times where I can do things by myself for a while and then come back and take care of my family. However, that is not always the case.
God’s call in our lives to be fully devoted to Him and to love others as we want to be loved is, quite honestly, impossible. We are sinful beings who want to focus on our immediate felt needs. And, God wants us to genuinely worship Him (in spirit and in truth, John 4:23, 24). Not empty phrases and actions, devoid of genuine desire to love and serve Him. Apart from God’s help and the empowering of the Holy Spirit, it is impossible for us. But, the good news is, God wants to enable us to faithfully serve Him and worship Him. Though it may take a long time to prune those things that hinder your love and passion for God (and, in turn, to love and serve others), God wants to help you to do so. Are you courageous enough to ask God to help you?
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