I know that I have not posted anything on my blog for quite a while. In fact, it has been a month since my last entry. For those who do really enjoy reading my posts, I do apologize for not sharing anything until now. I have been extremely busy these last few months.
For over a year now, I have been working on an on-line course for the Army. It is a self-directed course that I have to do to keep my E6. I have been working on it, during my free time, for over a year, and still working on it. There is a lot to it, unfortunately….
Along with that course, I am also doing an ADSO (Additional Duty Safety Officer) course. It is the ‘course that never ends!’ (Think: “This is the Song that Never Ends!”). Although I have spent several weeks of time (spread out over several months), I am only in ‘the 5th section’ of at least 6. Unfortunately, because it is several ‘lessons’ within the same ‘section,’ the course does not show exactly how much I have done, or how much more I have to do. And, each ‘lesson’ has at least 6 sub-lessons. Each of these sub-lessons take several hours to do. Very, very time consuming!
On top of those two courses, I have my weekly Bible Study, take care of and do things with my family, and all of that upon my regular work at the prison. It has been extremely draining for me trying to stay on top of all of this, as I am sure that you can guess. In fact, it has been so difficult for me to juggle all of this, I took a month-long break from doing my Bible Study so that I might be able to focus better on the on-line courses. It has worked somewhat, but I still haven’t finished them.
Unfortunately, I have also been fighting more and more with my lower back pain and the arthritis in my knees. This has made working very difficult at times. And, all of this adds to my stress.
Although I am very good at my job with State Corrections, it is not a job that I get a lot out of most days. For those who don’t know, working in corrections can be very stressful and very draining. This is especially so in a maximin security institution, like what I work in. Not only do I have to be very cognizant of all that is happening around me, but also around my co-workers. On top of that, I have to deal with very manipulative people (not all Inmates are manipulative, but many are). And, doing that for 12 hours a day….
I know that many of you out there face more difficulties on a daily basis than I do. Just as many of you would have a very difficult time fathoming all that I deal with. Each of us have our own unique set of experiences and perspectives. Each of us have our own cultural backgrounds that can either help or hinder how one deals with things. It’s things like that which make each of us unique. Although, these backgrounds can either make it easier or more difficult to relate with others.
Going forward, I really do not know how much time I will have for doing posts. It has been extremely challenging for me to get things done. Then again… Writing and doing art are two of my favorite ways to relax, introvert, and recharge. Reading would be a close second to these two. So, maybe I will try harder to write one or two posts per week. Maybe…
Now, if there are things that you are interested in discussing, please let me know. Did you have problems understanding something that I did a post on? If so, please ask me. Or, if one of my posts has touched your life in a meaningful way, I would love to know that, too. Even though this blog is primarily a creative outlet for me, I would also really like to better get to know my audience, too.
Monday, February 12, 2018
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Extremely Busy Times
The other day I looked at when my last Blog Entry was and I was a bit shocked. I knew that I had not made an entry for a while, but I hadn't realized that it's been almost three whole months!
Things have been extremely hectic for me lately. The biggest thing is that the prison that I work at is so understaffed right now that we are getting hit for mandatory overtime at least once, if not twice, per week. That’s on top of working our 4x 12 hour shifts. That has been making things extremely difficult for all of us there.
On top of this job, I have a wife and two kids, I usually do a weekly Adult Bible Study, and I am the Adjutant (Secretary) for our local VFW. That’s a lot going on, huh? For some of you out there, that is the norm for you. For others, doing this much work might be a totally foreign concept. I tell you what, it is very difficult to balance all of this.
In fact, that’s the biggest thing. It has been an on-going challenge to get an appropriate balance between work, being there for my family, taking care of things around the house, look for a new job that better utilizes my skills and interests (and is a lot less stressful and dangerous), do my daily devotions, attend church, do a good preparation for my weekly Bible Study, etc. It seems like I have to ‘rob Peter to pay either Paul or Mary.’ And, that is not really including taking time just for myself.
Asides from daily devotions, I admit that I have often shortchanged myself with good, quality self-care time. Whether it’s reading a good book, doing some creative writing (for this blog, for example), watching a favorite TV show, etc., my self-care often goes onto the chopping blog first. Or, when I do take time to rest, relax, and recharge, I feel guilty because I am not addressing any of the other priorities in my life. I honestly feel like I have been burning the candles at both end, and in the middle. Getting very little sleep during my work days because of the insane hours that I have to work, doesn’t help either.
From time-to-time, I have checked the stats for my blog and have often been surprised to see that people have visited it on occasion. This has been encouraging since that means people enjoy what I write and check back once-in-a-while. It is also sometimes a source of frustration. I see that people are coming back, hoping to see more, and are probably disappointed; and, I feel guilty for not adjusting my time more so that I could write more entries.
I am hoping that things will get better soon. Although we are getting new staff, things are still really difficult. However, I still have to deal with all that I have. Since my Bible Study won’t meet again until next year, that will help a little with time.
Each of us have to wrestle with priorities. My wife knows very well how frustrated I often feel with all my current obligations. The Bible Study and helping with VFW are a much needed source of self-expression that I need, something that I thoroughly love doing. So is this blog. It is my hope that things will improve such that I can do more blogging. Not just because it is a creative release for me, but because many of you out there really enjoy reading it. May God help each of us with our priorities.
Things have been extremely hectic for me lately. The biggest thing is that the prison that I work at is so understaffed right now that we are getting hit for mandatory overtime at least once, if not twice, per week. That’s on top of working our 4x 12 hour shifts. That has been making things extremely difficult for all of us there.
On top of this job, I have a wife and two kids, I usually do a weekly Adult Bible Study, and I am the Adjutant (Secretary) for our local VFW. That’s a lot going on, huh? For some of you out there, that is the norm for you. For others, doing this much work might be a totally foreign concept. I tell you what, it is very difficult to balance all of this.
In fact, that’s the biggest thing. It has been an on-going challenge to get an appropriate balance between work, being there for my family, taking care of things around the house, look for a new job that better utilizes my skills and interests (and is a lot less stressful and dangerous), do my daily devotions, attend church, do a good preparation for my weekly Bible Study, etc. It seems like I have to ‘rob Peter to pay either Paul or Mary.’ And, that is not really including taking time just for myself.
Asides from daily devotions, I admit that I have often shortchanged myself with good, quality self-care time. Whether it’s reading a good book, doing some creative writing (for this blog, for example), watching a favorite TV show, etc., my self-care often goes onto the chopping blog first. Or, when I do take time to rest, relax, and recharge, I feel guilty because I am not addressing any of the other priorities in my life. I honestly feel like I have been burning the candles at both end, and in the middle. Getting very little sleep during my work days because of the insane hours that I have to work, doesn’t help either.
From time-to-time, I have checked the stats for my blog and have often been surprised to see that people have visited it on occasion. This has been encouraging since that means people enjoy what I write and check back once-in-a-while. It is also sometimes a source of frustration. I see that people are coming back, hoping to see more, and are probably disappointed; and, I feel guilty for not adjusting my time more so that I could write more entries.
I am hoping that things will get better soon. Although we are getting new staff, things are still really difficult. However, I still have to deal with all that I have. Since my Bible Study won’t meet again until next year, that will help a little with time.
Each of us have to wrestle with priorities. My wife knows very well how frustrated I often feel with all my current obligations. The Bible Study and helping with VFW are a much needed source of self-expression that I need, something that I thoroughly love doing. So is this blog. It is my hope that things will improve such that I can do more blogging. Not just because it is a creative release for me, but because many of you out there really enjoy reading it. May God help each of us with our priorities.
Monday, September 25, 2017
A Glimpse of Hope
This past week, I got a glimpse of hope for two families who were visiting the prison that I work at. For privacy reasons, I will not be sharing many details. However, I will share some basic things because I believe others need to see this glimpse.
Recently, there was the initial trial for an Inmate concerning a serious crime he had committed against another while in prison. The two families, the one of the accused and the one of the victim, were at the proceedings. From what I understand from my conversations with others, their interactions with each other in the courtroom was anything but cordial. In fact, the impression that I got was that it was pretty hostile.
Not long after the Inmate who had been arraigned returned, it was time to start processing the second session of visitors. As we were doing so, in walk two ladies who said something about being followed. I looked up perplexed, but then in walked two Sherriff’s Deputies, who immediately started talking with one the two ladies. A few moments later, another group of adults came in and I felt the tension rise very, very quickly. As the two groups talked, one Deputy stayed between the two groups, the other moved away to the side
the two groups were obviously struggling to keep things civil. And, I think I was not the only prison who thought things were going to "come to blows." Both Deputies were obviously tense, and I think most other visitors were getting nervous.
But then, something amazing happened. One woman said that she understands that the other woman was feeling deep loss and pain because... Then, the other woman acknowledged the pain that the other woman must be feeling. Though I sensed that these words were a little forced, I still got the sense that they were trying to be genuine and sincere. After this, my coworker started directing each group with what they could do as far as visiting went. The two groups then began to go their separate ways and the tension started to slowly ease.
From my experiences in ministry and with corrections, I know that both families will have a long, difficult journey ahead. Especially since the trial is just getting started. But, the impression that I got was that the two families were taking baby steps towards healing. In such an environment in which it happened, I definitely do feel that it was a miracle of God in progress, that He was slowly helping them with the healing process.
When a loved one is seriously hurt, betrayed, or even killed by someone else, often feels shock, confusion, and even rage. It is very easy for us to allow the pain, anger, loss, etc., to become bitterness. It is much harder to give the pain and anger to God and allow Him to help us forgive.
We cannot confuse forgiving others from allowing a Court of Law to hold other accountable for their actions. Forgiving them means that we allow God to take care of things, and that we let go of our need for revenge.
All of us have suffered pain from others. At times, we hold onto our own anger against ourselves because of things that we either did or failed to do. That is a part of life. The Good News is that Christ can bring healing and forgiveness into our lives. It might be a long and rocky road. But, I believe that it is worth it.
Recently, there was the initial trial for an Inmate concerning a serious crime he had committed against another while in prison. The two families, the one of the accused and the one of the victim, were at the proceedings. From what I understand from my conversations with others, their interactions with each other in the courtroom was anything but cordial. In fact, the impression that I got was that it was pretty hostile.
Not long after the Inmate who had been arraigned returned, it was time to start processing the second session of visitors. As we were doing so, in walk two ladies who said something about being followed. I looked up perplexed, but then in walked two Sherriff’s Deputies, who immediately started talking with one the two ladies. A few moments later, another group of adults came in and I felt the tension rise very, very quickly. As the two groups talked, one Deputy stayed between the two groups, the other moved away to the side
the two groups were obviously struggling to keep things civil. And, I think I was not the only prison who thought things were going to "come to blows." Both Deputies were obviously tense, and I think most other visitors were getting nervous.
But then, something amazing happened. One woman said that she understands that the other woman was feeling deep loss and pain because... Then, the other woman acknowledged the pain that the other woman must be feeling. Though I sensed that these words were a little forced, I still got the sense that they were trying to be genuine and sincere. After this, my coworker started directing each group with what they could do as far as visiting went. The two groups then began to go their separate ways and the tension started to slowly ease.
From my experiences in ministry and with corrections, I know that both families will have a long, difficult journey ahead. Especially since the trial is just getting started. But, the impression that I got was that the two families were taking baby steps towards healing. In such an environment in which it happened, I definitely do feel that it was a miracle of God in progress, that He was slowly helping them with the healing process.
When a loved one is seriously hurt, betrayed, or even killed by someone else, often feels shock, confusion, and even rage. It is very easy for us to allow the pain, anger, loss, etc., to become bitterness. It is much harder to give the pain and anger to God and allow Him to help us forgive.
We cannot confuse forgiving others from allowing a Court of Law to hold other accountable for their actions. Forgiving them means that we allow God to take care of things, and that we let go of our need for revenge.
All of us have suffered pain from others. At times, we hold onto our own anger against ourselves because of things that we either did or failed to do. That is a part of life. The Good News is that Christ can bring healing and forgiveness into our lives. It might be a long and rocky road. But, I believe that it is worth it.
Monday, August 21, 2017
Looking at the Psalms
In a couple of weeks, I will re-start the Bible Study that I do. I am excited about it, because it gives me a creative outlet and something to look forward to each week. Honestly, I love teaching theology! At least for now, we will be looking at The Psalms. "Why?" you may ask. Well, several reasons.
The primary reason is because of the role that Psalms plays in worship. The Psalms were an integral part of the ancient Hebrew worship, and often is major part of ours. I am sure that you have noticed this. However, have you taken time to sit down and read through each of these Psalms that were used in a worship service and examined them in detail? If your church uses a Psalm as a ‘call’ and ‘response,’ have you really thought about what you were saying? Have you thought about what kind of events might have inspired a specific Psalm, or what the original words might convey in meaning?
Many of the Psalms are short, but full of vivid imagery and deep in theology. This will give us a lot to think about, pray about, and discuss. Another important thing is that most of these were someone's prayer that they wrote down. It was their way of putting words to what was on their heart and on their mind. Therefore, they can help us put our thoughts and feelings into prayer.
On a related note, the Psalms cover a very, very diverse range of emotions. From joy, to sadness, to loss, to being deeply confused, to absolute range, and many emotions in between. According to Paul in Romans 8:26-27, we see that the Holy Spirit aids us in our prayers, and searches our hearts. From the readings of the Psalms that I have done over the years, they have helped me put to words what I might be feeling and/or thinking.
While I am not fluent in Hebrew, I can work with that language much more easily than I can Greek. This will help me a lot with researching the history and original text. Believe it or not, this can be very important. For example, in Psalms 23, the original words used in verse 4 actually indicate a ‘staff’ and a ‘club?’ Which indicates to me that God will protect me from dangers that are ‘at a distance’ and those that are ‘right up close.’ That is pretty significant to me, don’t you think?
While most Psalms are a complete thought/prayer in and of themselves, several of the longer ones contain multiple parts. This means that we can either cover one of the longer Psalms in one session, or look at each of its parts over a period of two or more sessions. One Psalm that will take many weeks to look at is Psalm 119, which has over 170 verses! Though they cover a similar theme, they are very diverse in how they express it.
To be honest, it is very easy to look at Psalms and not really think about what they mean. They are very poetic and have wonderful (though sometimes scary) imagery. But, do we really think about them, or do we just quickly read through them? What about our hymns of today? When we sing them, do we really think much about what the words mean? Did you know, Psalms were often chanted during a Jewish worship service, playing a similar role as our hymns. For me, this is yet another reason to look at them in depth.
Something that I am hoping to do, is to post some of the things that we are looking at with the Psalms. Now, there is no guarantee that I will be able to do so every week. Some weeks are more challenging than others. And, I am sure that each of you out there know that. But, not only am I wanting to post things that I discovered, but I also hope to share some of the observations that others share in the class.
As I have talked about before in prior blog entries, each of us is on a journey. What God does with me in my journey will be very different than someone else. Each of us have our own particular joys, sorrows, struggles, expectations, etc. It is my hope, though, that the things that we discuss and learn about the Psalms will be a blessing onto at least some of you each week. That’s not to say that I won’t blog about other things that I experience. As time and life allow it, I want to do so. But, one step at a time. Ready to start a journey together through the Psalms?
The primary reason is because of the role that Psalms plays in worship. The Psalms were an integral part of the ancient Hebrew worship, and often is major part of ours. I am sure that you have noticed this. However, have you taken time to sit down and read through each of these Psalms that were used in a worship service and examined them in detail? If your church uses a Psalm as a ‘call’ and ‘response,’ have you really thought about what you were saying? Have you thought about what kind of events might have inspired a specific Psalm, or what the original words might convey in meaning?
Many of the Psalms are short, but full of vivid imagery and deep in theology. This will give us a lot to think about, pray about, and discuss. Another important thing is that most of these were someone's prayer that they wrote down. It was their way of putting words to what was on their heart and on their mind. Therefore, they can help us put our thoughts and feelings into prayer.
On a related note, the Psalms cover a very, very diverse range of emotions. From joy, to sadness, to loss, to being deeply confused, to absolute range, and many emotions in between. According to Paul in Romans 8:26-27, we see that the Holy Spirit aids us in our prayers, and searches our hearts. From the readings of the Psalms that I have done over the years, they have helped me put to words what I might be feeling and/or thinking.
While I am not fluent in Hebrew, I can work with that language much more easily than I can Greek. This will help me a lot with researching the history and original text. Believe it or not, this can be very important. For example, in Psalms 23, the original words used in verse 4 actually indicate a ‘staff’ and a ‘club?’ Which indicates to me that God will protect me from dangers that are ‘at a distance’ and those that are ‘right up close.’ That is pretty significant to me, don’t you think?
While most Psalms are a complete thought/prayer in and of themselves, several of the longer ones contain multiple parts. This means that we can either cover one of the longer Psalms in one session, or look at each of its parts over a period of two or more sessions. One Psalm that will take many weeks to look at is Psalm 119, which has over 170 verses! Though they cover a similar theme, they are very diverse in how they express it.
To be honest, it is very easy to look at Psalms and not really think about what they mean. They are very poetic and have wonderful (though sometimes scary) imagery. But, do we really think about them, or do we just quickly read through them? What about our hymns of today? When we sing them, do we really think much about what the words mean? Did you know, Psalms were often chanted during a Jewish worship service, playing a similar role as our hymns. For me, this is yet another reason to look at them in depth.
Something that I am hoping to do, is to post some of the things that we are looking at with the Psalms. Now, there is no guarantee that I will be able to do so every week. Some weeks are more challenging than others. And, I am sure that each of you out there know that. But, not only am I wanting to post things that I discovered, but I also hope to share some of the observations that others share in the class.
As I have talked about before in prior blog entries, each of us is on a journey. What God does with me in my journey will be very different than someone else. Each of us have our own particular joys, sorrows, struggles, expectations, etc. It is my hope, though, that the things that we discuss and learn about the Psalms will be a blessing onto at least some of you each week. That’s not to say that I won’t blog about other things that I experience. As time and life allow it, I want to do so. But, one step at a time. Ready to start a journey together through the Psalms?
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Different Thoughts
I know that I have not been posting very much lately. Other priorities have taken precedence most of the time. There were times where I was contemplating something to write. But, unfortunately, I was not able to write them down. The good thing, though, is that I still have some floating around in my mind. I just have to work on 'flushing them out.'
One of the things that has occurred to me is to be thankful that I do have a job. A close friend of mine from seminary has found himself in a difficult position due to unemployment. For those of you out there who have been unemployed, especially while trying to support a family, you understand how painful and stressful it can be.
A few years ago, my wife and I found ourselves is such a situation. It was a very difficult time for all of us. Although we receive some financial help from the state, it was barely enough to cover food, gas, and a few of our bills. We were in a difficult situation financially, and it only got worse. God provided, but it seemed to be not nearly enough for us.
Eventually, God reopened the door to the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) for me. Once again, I found myself working as Custody Staff at the same prison that I worked at a few years prior. Because of the length of time since leaving for a deployment and returning to work with NDCS, I was required to attend the Staff Training Academy (STA) again. I had done well going through it the first time, and it was even easier the second time through. Although I was not excited about doing this kind of work again, I already very family with the things that I would be doing. Needless to say, I was very popular with the other students!
Now, as many of you know from prior blog entries, the Department of Corrections is not what I would prefer to do. It is sometimes (often really) very taxing on my mentally and spiritually. I have to deal with some very evil people, and with professionalism and tact. It is very hard!
But, in spite of challenging this job is, it does have very good job security. And, that is also very unfortunate. It is such a necessary job that I don’t have to work about being laid off. And, the pay is fairly good. I earn a living wage to support a family of 4, with enough left over to do things like vacations, spontaneous road trips, etc.
I will admit, it is sometimes very hard to be thankful for this job. After working 4x 12 hour shifts with very demanding Inmates, I feel exceptionally drained. Being a high sensing introvert, such things have a high impact on me. It often takes at least 1 full day of ‘recharging’ and ‘introverting’ for me to do a lot of things with the family, do on-line courses, etc. I often find myself needing to choose to be thankful, to make that conscious choice. And, there are days where I ‘fake it until I make it.’ That’s just the nature of my life. I do not like it, but I prayerfully seek to do it.
There are many outlets that I have to help deal with such things. On many a long day, I will come up, grab something to eat, and then watch various YouTube videos so that I can relax and recharge. I will sometimes read, go for a walk, or do some art work. Writing on this blog is another way that I decompress and relax.
All of us have to deal with stress in our lives. All of us have to deal with difficult situations, sometimes on a daily basis. Whether we like it or not, stress and difficult situations are a natural part of life. So, we might as well plan on dealing with them.
All of us develop ‘coping methods,’ or ways that we deal with situations. Some turn to drugs, some turn to pornography, some turn to playing computer or on-line games, or something else so as to avoid dealing with problems. These are examples of negative coping skills. While they may feel good at the time and help you to (at least temporarily) avoid dealing with something, the problems do not go away. And, when one uses these poor coping skills, you heap on more problems, often causing things to start spiraling totally out of control. Eventually, whether each of us wants to or not, we have to confront these problems.
Whether you feel like you are on top of the work, feel like you are in the worst place of hell, or some place in between, God is still there to help you. Though you may not like the direction that God is leading you, there is a reason behind it. Sometimes we suffer simply as a direct consequence of our bad choices. Sometimes it’s because of someone else’s negative choices. Sometimes, God may want us to go through times of testing in order to prepare us for something else. I often hate going through it at the time. But, I have often been able to look back and see how God has prepared me for something else because of what I had endured prior.
We all of the accept the consequences of our choices, be it positive or negative. We all have to choose how we deal with situations that are out of our control. Many times we find ourselves, or a loved in, in a very bad place with little or no warning. And, it may be of no consequence of our own (or their) choices. However, we can choose the attitude that we will have while enduring them.
Life is full of many different experiences. I often wonder why God has me where I am at. It is often very painful, or at the very least, very uncomfortable. But, it is where God has brought me. Each of you are where you are at, and God has a plan for you. I wrestle with God regularly with where I am and what is going on. And, I prayerfully try to be obedient. How about you? May God’s grace and love help you through.
One of the things that has occurred to me is to be thankful that I do have a job. A close friend of mine from seminary has found himself in a difficult position due to unemployment. For those of you out there who have been unemployed, especially while trying to support a family, you understand how painful and stressful it can be.
A few years ago, my wife and I found ourselves is such a situation. It was a very difficult time for all of us. Although we receive some financial help from the state, it was barely enough to cover food, gas, and a few of our bills. We were in a difficult situation financially, and it only got worse. God provided, but it seemed to be not nearly enough for us.
Eventually, God reopened the door to the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) for me. Once again, I found myself working as Custody Staff at the same prison that I worked at a few years prior. Because of the length of time since leaving for a deployment and returning to work with NDCS, I was required to attend the Staff Training Academy (STA) again. I had done well going through it the first time, and it was even easier the second time through. Although I was not excited about doing this kind of work again, I already very family with the things that I would be doing. Needless to say, I was very popular with the other students!
Now, as many of you know from prior blog entries, the Department of Corrections is not what I would prefer to do. It is sometimes (often really) very taxing on my mentally and spiritually. I have to deal with some very evil people, and with professionalism and tact. It is very hard!
But, in spite of challenging this job is, it does have very good job security. And, that is also very unfortunate. It is such a necessary job that I don’t have to work about being laid off. And, the pay is fairly good. I earn a living wage to support a family of 4, with enough left over to do things like vacations, spontaneous road trips, etc.
I will admit, it is sometimes very hard to be thankful for this job. After working 4x 12 hour shifts with very demanding Inmates, I feel exceptionally drained. Being a high sensing introvert, such things have a high impact on me. It often takes at least 1 full day of ‘recharging’ and ‘introverting’ for me to do a lot of things with the family, do on-line courses, etc. I often find myself needing to choose to be thankful, to make that conscious choice. And, there are days where I ‘fake it until I make it.’ That’s just the nature of my life. I do not like it, but I prayerfully seek to do it.
There are many outlets that I have to help deal with such things. On many a long day, I will come up, grab something to eat, and then watch various YouTube videos so that I can relax and recharge. I will sometimes read, go for a walk, or do some art work. Writing on this blog is another way that I decompress and relax.
All of us have to deal with stress in our lives. All of us have to deal with difficult situations, sometimes on a daily basis. Whether we like it or not, stress and difficult situations are a natural part of life. So, we might as well plan on dealing with them.
All of us develop ‘coping methods,’ or ways that we deal with situations. Some turn to drugs, some turn to pornography, some turn to playing computer or on-line games, or something else so as to avoid dealing with problems. These are examples of negative coping skills. While they may feel good at the time and help you to (at least temporarily) avoid dealing with something, the problems do not go away. And, when one uses these poor coping skills, you heap on more problems, often causing things to start spiraling totally out of control. Eventually, whether each of us wants to or not, we have to confront these problems.
Whether you feel like you are on top of the work, feel like you are in the worst place of hell, or some place in between, God is still there to help you. Though you may not like the direction that God is leading you, there is a reason behind it. Sometimes we suffer simply as a direct consequence of our bad choices. Sometimes it’s because of someone else’s negative choices. Sometimes, God may want us to go through times of testing in order to prepare us for something else. I often hate going through it at the time. But, I have often been able to look back and see how God has prepared me for something else because of what I had endured prior.
We all of the accept the consequences of our choices, be it positive or negative. We all have to choose how we deal with situations that are out of our control. Many times we find ourselves, or a loved in, in a very bad place with little or no warning. And, it may be of no consequence of our own (or their) choices. However, we can choose the attitude that we will have while enduring them.
Life is full of many different experiences. I often wonder why God has me where I am at. It is often very painful, or at the very least, very uncomfortable. But, it is where God has brought me. Each of you are where you are at, and God has a plan for you. I wrestle with God regularly with where I am and what is going on. And, I prayerfully try to be obedient. How about you? May God’s grace and love help you through.
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Dealing with Evil Hearts
References:
• June 23 article on Wis. Youth facility
• June 24 article on Wis. Youth facility
I read the first article concerning the Wisconsin youth facility, writing on June 23, 2017, a few days ago. Having worked in corrections for almost 10 years now, I was both concerned about how the Inmates were being treated and alarmed about how others who have no clue what our job is like (like the lawyers of the ACLU) want to make our job more dangerous. While looking the first article up, I found the second one, which was written on the next day (written on June 24, 2017). That make me a bit more upset.
I started working for the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) in January of 2006. I briefly left in 2011 in order to pursue a ministry career. When that fell through, God reopened the same position (custody staff) with the NDCS. I have been with them ever since.
To be honest, it is a very difficult job, fraught with great risks. There can be great rewards as one sees lives changed. But, many choose to not change, in spite of all of the opportunities and programs that they are given. While I have only worked at a men’s facility, I have talked with several co-workers who work in the youth facility here in Nebraska. From the conversations that I have had with them over the years, they face many of the same challenges that we do. That is, they deal with Inmates that are often just as manipulative and physically dangerous as those that I deal with. And, being teenagers, they have a higher tendency to lash out than adults because of the fact that they do not have the same impulse control as some adult Inmates do. Though some of the youth may not be as physically strong as an adult, they are often in better shape due to their age. This is especially so with those of us who are over 40 years old and work in corrections.
Some people go to prison because they made one mistake and they were caught. Other have made living out of committing crimes. For those who have made it a lifestyle out of committing crime, who have anger issues, have had drug and/or alcohol abuse issues, etc., those of us who represent law and order become their targets. As anyone who has spent time working in a jail or prison, we have to be constantly aware of our surroundings, because of the dangerous people that we deal with.
Most of us who work in corrections genuinely care about others and want to help them make good changes in their lives. That is our goal. Those who want to work in Corrections (or any other Law Enforcement position) because of having power over others usually do not last very long. Such people either get fired from their job, get shunned by those of us who do care enough that they choose to leave (I personally have no tolerance for such people), or they become the focus of the Inmates’ ire and are assaulted. In the case of the latter, when such staff member realizes that they no longer have the power over others that they crave, they leave for ‘greener pastures.’
Don’t get me wrong, there are staff who are cruel and vindictive people who stay within Corrections. However, they are a very small minority. Just like in the military, Law Enforcement, working in the health care system, such people rarely last very long before they are forced out, choose to leave, or are seriously injured or killed.
One of the things that I am proud about with my training with NDCS is how it has adapted over the years concerning Inmate control that is safe and humane. Our primary always has been and always will be our interpersonal skills. The better training Corrections Professionals (including Custody Staff, Unit Staff, administration and support staff, etc.) have in de-escalation, the safer everyone is. However, de-escalation does not always work. For Inmates who have either lost control of their ability to reason (due to anger issues, currently being under the influence of a drug or alcohol, a vindictive/anti-social attitude, etc.), other means of maintaining control have to be used. That is how life is for us.
The wonderful thing about using pepper spray (or similar item) is that it does not cause long-term medical problems, are temporary, and usually cause the Inmate to surrender so that little to no physical force has to be used. When little to no physical force has to be used, it is a win-win situation. Why is that? Because neither staff nor the Inmate receive physical injuries.
In the training that I have received with the Nebraska National Guard as a MP, as well as with NDCS, I had to be exposed to the same chemical agents that we use. That way, not only do we know that we can work, in spite of the agents, but we also know how it affects the Inmate. Any time we have to use chemicals in order to gain control of an aggressive Inmate, we get exposed too. It sucks for them, and it sucks for us.
As I have contemplated the articles that I read, I have to wonder… Is the issue with the staff with how they use force, or is it with the Inmates trying to use the legal system to remove effective tools from the staff? Think of it this way… If two Inmates are fighting are determined to cause serious bodily injury to the other, do you think that they will stop fighting with three, four, or more staff show up? Youth or adult it doesn’t matter. Such Inmates who genuinely want to cause serious bodily injury to the other won’t just stop fighting when staff show up. Physical force will have to be used. Now, do you want to try and restrain a person who is very angry and wants to injure others with just physical strength? I don’t if I absolutely do not have to. If I can use chemical agents so that they decide to stop fighting, then it becomes much safer to intervene.
Restraints, restrictive housing, and chemicals are all tools that we in Corrections use to maintain control and keep ourselves and other Inmates safe. Having good training with the proper use of such things, good training with verbal de-escalation skills, clear guidance with how they should be applied, good programs available to give Inmates tools to more effectively deal with life, stress, anger, etc., those are things that keep all of us safe. Taking such tools away from us so that we are more likely to have to use physical force to stop dangerous behavior (to us, to other Inmates, to the public, and to the Inmate him/herself), that puts all of us in a more dangerous situation.
There is something else that I have often wondered… Those who are trying to champion Inmates by taking away effective tools from staff, do they have any clue as to how dangerous of a job that we have? I very seriously doubt it. All that they know is what the Inmate tells them. And, whenever a lawyer from the ACLU talks with an Inmate, it is always from the perspective as a lawyer for brief periods of time. Just like with the clergy that visit Inmates, their friends and family when they visit, lawyers and the media, they only see the mask that most of them put on for them. They do not see the day-to-day decisions, attitudes, etc., that we see on a daily basis.
I am all for programming to help those who are incarcerated to gain tools to change their lives. However, they will want to have to change. Just because they are given tools does not mean that it will make them make better choices. It may take time for the change to come, or it may never come. But, when good programming is available, then access to the tools for positive changes are there. But, there will always be those who will not change. For those who take a long time to change, if at all, staff have to have the tools necessary to keep everyone safer. Not all tools will work. There is always a high risk for injury or death at a prison, for staff and other Inmates. It will always be that way. But, the betters that staff have, and better programming for Inmates, the less the change for danger and the better the chances for everyone staying healthy and alive.
One last thought… For those who like to champion the “poor and abused” Inmates, here’s a radical thought. Why don’t you actually spend a few years working in Corrections. Not on the premise of, “oh, I am a lawyer but I want to see how things are for a little while.” If you take such an approach, you will see the façade that they give to the public and not see the darkness in their hearts. Have the mindset that you will ‘set the lawyer’ aside and ONLY work as a Corrections Professional. Go through our training, deal with the angry outburst (over legitimate things, and ridiculous ones), be on our uses of force, see them without their masks as they interact with other Inmates and with staff. If you want me to take your advice seriously, then you need to understand just how dangerous my job is.
In the almost ten years, I have seen many Inmates seek to make positive changes in their lives. For some, it took many years for the seeds of change to take root and to grow. For some others, the change came more quickly. For many others, it has not come at all. When you have all three mixed together, you have the high potential for great danger. To them and to staff. That is the nature of our job as Corrections Professionals. Enable us to do our job better, not make it harder. There are some staff that I enjoy working with more than others. No matter what, I want all of us to be able to go home to our friends and family safely each night (or morning if you work the night shift). We all have loved ones that want us to come home safely each night. Helps us to do our jobs better and more safely, not make it more dangerous.
• June 23 article on Wis. Youth facility
• June 24 article on Wis. Youth facility
I read the first article concerning the Wisconsin youth facility, writing on June 23, 2017, a few days ago. Having worked in corrections for almost 10 years now, I was both concerned about how the Inmates were being treated and alarmed about how others who have no clue what our job is like (like the lawyers of the ACLU) want to make our job more dangerous. While looking the first article up, I found the second one, which was written on the next day (written on June 24, 2017). That make me a bit more upset.
I started working for the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services (NDCS) in January of 2006. I briefly left in 2011 in order to pursue a ministry career. When that fell through, God reopened the same position (custody staff) with the NDCS. I have been with them ever since.
To be honest, it is a very difficult job, fraught with great risks. There can be great rewards as one sees lives changed. But, many choose to not change, in spite of all of the opportunities and programs that they are given. While I have only worked at a men’s facility, I have talked with several co-workers who work in the youth facility here in Nebraska. From the conversations that I have had with them over the years, they face many of the same challenges that we do. That is, they deal with Inmates that are often just as manipulative and physically dangerous as those that I deal with. And, being teenagers, they have a higher tendency to lash out than adults because of the fact that they do not have the same impulse control as some adult Inmates do. Though some of the youth may not be as physically strong as an adult, they are often in better shape due to their age. This is especially so with those of us who are over 40 years old and work in corrections.
Some people go to prison because they made one mistake and they were caught. Other have made living out of committing crimes. For those who have made it a lifestyle out of committing crime, who have anger issues, have had drug and/or alcohol abuse issues, etc., those of us who represent law and order become their targets. As anyone who has spent time working in a jail or prison, we have to be constantly aware of our surroundings, because of the dangerous people that we deal with.
Most of us who work in corrections genuinely care about others and want to help them make good changes in their lives. That is our goal. Those who want to work in Corrections (or any other Law Enforcement position) because of having power over others usually do not last very long. Such people either get fired from their job, get shunned by those of us who do care enough that they choose to leave (I personally have no tolerance for such people), or they become the focus of the Inmates’ ire and are assaulted. In the case of the latter, when such staff member realizes that they no longer have the power over others that they crave, they leave for ‘greener pastures.’
Don’t get me wrong, there are staff who are cruel and vindictive people who stay within Corrections. However, they are a very small minority. Just like in the military, Law Enforcement, working in the health care system, such people rarely last very long before they are forced out, choose to leave, or are seriously injured or killed.
One of the things that I am proud about with my training with NDCS is how it has adapted over the years concerning Inmate control that is safe and humane. Our primary always has been and always will be our interpersonal skills. The better training Corrections Professionals (including Custody Staff, Unit Staff, administration and support staff, etc.) have in de-escalation, the safer everyone is. However, de-escalation does not always work. For Inmates who have either lost control of their ability to reason (due to anger issues, currently being under the influence of a drug or alcohol, a vindictive/anti-social attitude, etc.), other means of maintaining control have to be used. That is how life is for us.
The wonderful thing about using pepper spray (or similar item) is that it does not cause long-term medical problems, are temporary, and usually cause the Inmate to surrender so that little to no physical force has to be used. When little to no physical force has to be used, it is a win-win situation. Why is that? Because neither staff nor the Inmate receive physical injuries.
In the training that I have received with the Nebraska National Guard as a MP, as well as with NDCS, I had to be exposed to the same chemical agents that we use. That way, not only do we know that we can work, in spite of the agents, but we also know how it affects the Inmate. Any time we have to use chemicals in order to gain control of an aggressive Inmate, we get exposed too. It sucks for them, and it sucks for us.
As I have contemplated the articles that I read, I have to wonder… Is the issue with the staff with how they use force, or is it with the Inmates trying to use the legal system to remove effective tools from the staff? Think of it this way… If two Inmates are fighting are determined to cause serious bodily injury to the other, do you think that they will stop fighting with three, four, or more staff show up? Youth or adult it doesn’t matter. Such Inmates who genuinely want to cause serious bodily injury to the other won’t just stop fighting when staff show up. Physical force will have to be used. Now, do you want to try and restrain a person who is very angry and wants to injure others with just physical strength? I don’t if I absolutely do not have to. If I can use chemical agents so that they decide to stop fighting, then it becomes much safer to intervene.
Restraints, restrictive housing, and chemicals are all tools that we in Corrections use to maintain control and keep ourselves and other Inmates safe. Having good training with the proper use of such things, good training with verbal de-escalation skills, clear guidance with how they should be applied, good programs available to give Inmates tools to more effectively deal with life, stress, anger, etc., those are things that keep all of us safe. Taking such tools away from us so that we are more likely to have to use physical force to stop dangerous behavior (to us, to other Inmates, to the public, and to the Inmate him/herself), that puts all of us in a more dangerous situation.
There is something else that I have often wondered… Those who are trying to champion Inmates by taking away effective tools from staff, do they have any clue as to how dangerous of a job that we have? I very seriously doubt it. All that they know is what the Inmate tells them. And, whenever a lawyer from the ACLU talks with an Inmate, it is always from the perspective as a lawyer for brief periods of time. Just like with the clergy that visit Inmates, their friends and family when they visit, lawyers and the media, they only see the mask that most of them put on for them. They do not see the day-to-day decisions, attitudes, etc., that we see on a daily basis.
I am all for programming to help those who are incarcerated to gain tools to change their lives. However, they will want to have to change. Just because they are given tools does not mean that it will make them make better choices. It may take time for the change to come, or it may never come. But, when good programming is available, then access to the tools for positive changes are there. But, there will always be those who will not change. For those who take a long time to change, if at all, staff have to have the tools necessary to keep everyone safer. Not all tools will work. There is always a high risk for injury or death at a prison, for staff and other Inmates. It will always be that way. But, the betters that staff have, and better programming for Inmates, the less the change for danger and the better the chances for everyone staying healthy and alive.
One last thought… For those who like to champion the “poor and abused” Inmates, here’s a radical thought. Why don’t you actually spend a few years working in Corrections. Not on the premise of, “oh, I am a lawyer but I want to see how things are for a little while.” If you take such an approach, you will see the façade that they give to the public and not see the darkness in their hearts. Have the mindset that you will ‘set the lawyer’ aside and ONLY work as a Corrections Professional. Go through our training, deal with the angry outburst (over legitimate things, and ridiculous ones), be on our uses of force, see them without their masks as they interact with other Inmates and with staff. If you want me to take your advice seriously, then you need to understand just how dangerous my job is.
In the almost ten years, I have seen many Inmates seek to make positive changes in their lives. For some, it took many years for the seeds of change to take root and to grow. For some others, the change came more quickly. For many others, it has not come at all. When you have all three mixed together, you have the high potential for great danger. To them and to staff. That is the nature of our job as Corrections Professionals. Enable us to do our job better, not make it harder. There are some staff that I enjoy working with more than others. No matter what, I want all of us to be able to go home to our friends and family safely each night (or morning if you work the night shift). We all have loved ones that want us to come home safely each night. Helps us to do our jobs better and more safely, not make it more dangerous.
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
Responses
References:
• Our Daily Bread for May 23, 2017
• Safe Places for Sensitive Students
• General Information on “Lawful use of Force”
• Ways to deescalate a situation
I admit, I am way behind in doing my devotions with Our Daily Bread. I will be consistent for a while, but then slack off for several days. Then I might catch up a few days, then get busy with life and not do any for several weeks. Work 12 hour shifts at a prison four days a week often make it that much harder. I am sure many of you can relate to how easy it is to get distracted by life.
But, when I read this ODB (Our Daily Bread) entry, it stirred many different thoughts in me. The first had to do with my experiences at the prison. Secondly, I was reminded of the numerous news articles I have read or seen on the news about 'safe zones' on many of our college campuses. Especially since I have been going through our books, including many of my college and seminary books, I am reminded of many contrasting experiences that I had there. I also thought about the many experiences I have had while working in a prison.
It is my experience that almost all of the time, a gentle response will calm things down. But, this is not always the case. At the prison that I work at, this usually is effective. If an Inmate is having a bad day and I respond to him in a calm and respectful manner, usually this will help them to calm down. Even if it is not something that I can take care of, if I treat the Inmate with dignity and respect and attempt to help him, it often works.
There have been times, though, when an Inmate purposefully gets themselves as upset as they can in order to cause problems. Or, there are times that, no matter what I do, they stay angry and/or uncooperative. If they have anger issues, are on some kind of intoxicant, having a mental health crisis, etc., their ability to cooperate and calm down are significantly reduced. And, there are some Inmates who love to cause problems on purpose. It’s their entertainment, or their way at lashing out at those who represent law and order.
I gave my life to Christ during my sophomore year in college. Although I had grown up a pastor’s kid, I had not cared about applying God’s Word to my life and living for Him as a child. As a young adult, I was now prayerfully doing so. And part of that was explaining my faith perspective in papers as was appropriate. This was especially the case in the introduction to philosophy class and an applied psychology class that I was taking. The professor of the philosophy class was a staunch atheist and the woman who taught my psychology class was very liberal in her views. Though our world and moral views different on many points, they respected my opinions. Both of them also took time outside of class to talk with me about how I shared my beliefs. They not only challenged me in what I said, but they also helped me with how to express my thoughts and beliefs in a clear manner. Most of the time in the classroom, all students were free to express their views, and all views would be challenged with, “Okay, why do you believe this?”
I admit, I was so excited about sharing my faith as a young Christian that I often did not express myself as well as I could. This was with in class participation and with written assignments. Many professors and quite a few classmates worked with me on this. They helped me to learn how to better express my beliefs in ways that others would be more willing to listen to.
There were some classes in college and several in seminary where this was not the case. If my moral and/or theological beliefs were not the similar or exactly like those who ‘were in power,’ then I was looked down upon, sometimes mocked. It seemed that no matter how respectful I tried to be with them and ‘agree to disagree,’ some were not interested. It was either ‘my way or the highway’ with them. Needless to say, that made life very difficult at times for me and other students who shared similar beliefs with me.
Even though those were trying times, and even though it was not right to put us through that kind of harassment, it did help me to learn how to persevere, handle conflict in a Christ-like manner, how to refine and improve stating my beliefs, etc. They meant it for evil, but God used it for good.
In this fallen world, we will encounter difficulties, conflict, hatred, etc. There are times were a ‘soft answer’ will turn wrath aside. There will be times where you will be able to reason with someone and resolve conflict peacefully. But, though it’s important to try, it is just as important to remember that there are people who will be determined to cause problems, who want to injure or kill others. Being ready for that is critical, I believe. I do not ascribe to the idea that, “there is a demon behind every rock.” I do believe that there is always the potential of a demon being there. As an INFJ and as a Christian, I seek to live peacefully with others. This is something God calls each of us to do. As often as possible, I seek God’s wisdom in resolving things peacefully. However, I have spent years training so that if things cannot be resolved peacefully, I hope that those of you out there will seek God’s wisdom with how to live peacefully with others, and how to protect yourself, your loved ones, or the stranger amongst you.
Whether it’s conflict with your spouse, your child, a co-worker, your neighbor, taking time to listen and talk calmly can greatly help the situation. It has been my experience that sometimes, all it takes is someone taking the time to listen to their pain and anger and responding respectfully is all that it takes to resolve things. Or, at the very least, to open the door to peaceful resolution. I also recommend you talk with your religious/clergy, someone in law enforcement, or similar vocation for tips to use. I also encourage you to take self-defense lessons and/or fire-arms training, so that you can learn how to respond with other means do not work or are not an option because of that particular situation. How you choose to respond is always your responsibility. Each of us must accept responsibly for the chooses we make. All of us also have the responsibility to learn what we can so that we can deal with life in constructive and wise ways.
• Our Daily Bread for May 23, 2017
• Safe Places for Sensitive Students
• General Information on “Lawful use of Force”
• Ways to deescalate a situation
I admit, I am way behind in doing my devotions with Our Daily Bread. I will be consistent for a while, but then slack off for several days. Then I might catch up a few days, then get busy with life and not do any for several weeks. Work 12 hour shifts at a prison four days a week often make it that much harder. I am sure many of you can relate to how easy it is to get distracted by life.
But, when I read this ODB (Our Daily Bread) entry, it stirred many different thoughts in me. The first had to do with my experiences at the prison. Secondly, I was reminded of the numerous news articles I have read or seen on the news about 'safe zones' on many of our college campuses. Especially since I have been going through our books, including many of my college and seminary books, I am reminded of many contrasting experiences that I had there. I also thought about the many experiences I have had while working in a prison.
It is my experience that almost all of the time, a gentle response will calm things down. But, this is not always the case. At the prison that I work at, this usually is effective. If an Inmate is having a bad day and I respond to him in a calm and respectful manner, usually this will help them to calm down. Even if it is not something that I can take care of, if I treat the Inmate with dignity and respect and attempt to help him, it often works.
There have been times, though, when an Inmate purposefully gets themselves as upset as they can in order to cause problems. Or, there are times that, no matter what I do, they stay angry and/or uncooperative. If they have anger issues, are on some kind of intoxicant, having a mental health crisis, etc., their ability to cooperate and calm down are significantly reduced. And, there are some Inmates who love to cause problems on purpose. It’s their entertainment, or their way at lashing out at those who represent law and order.
I gave my life to Christ during my sophomore year in college. Although I had grown up a pastor’s kid, I had not cared about applying God’s Word to my life and living for Him as a child. As a young adult, I was now prayerfully doing so. And part of that was explaining my faith perspective in papers as was appropriate. This was especially the case in the introduction to philosophy class and an applied psychology class that I was taking. The professor of the philosophy class was a staunch atheist and the woman who taught my psychology class was very liberal in her views. Though our world and moral views different on many points, they respected my opinions. Both of them also took time outside of class to talk with me about how I shared my beliefs. They not only challenged me in what I said, but they also helped me with how to express my thoughts and beliefs in a clear manner. Most of the time in the classroom, all students were free to express their views, and all views would be challenged with, “Okay, why do you believe this?”
I admit, I was so excited about sharing my faith as a young Christian that I often did not express myself as well as I could. This was with in class participation and with written assignments. Many professors and quite a few classmates worked with me on this. They helped me to learn how to better express my beliefs in ways that others would be more willing to listen to.
There were some classes in college and several in seminary where this was not the case. If my moral and/or theological beliefs were not the similar or exactly like those who ‘were in power,’ then I was looked down upon, sometimes mocked. It seemed that no matter how respectful I tried to be with them and ‘agree to disagree,’ some were not interested. It was either ‘my way or the highway’ with them. Needless to say, that made life very difficult at times for me and other students who shared similar beliefs with me.
Even though those were trying times, and even though it was not right to put us through that kind of harassment, it did help me to learn how to persevere, handle conflict in a Christ-like manner, how to refine and improve stating my beliefs, etc. They meant it for evil, but God used it for good.
In this fallen world, we will encounter difficulties, conflict, hatred, etc. There are times were a ‘soft answer’ will turn wrath aside. There will be times where you will be able to reason with someone and resolve conflict peacefully. But, though it’s important to try, it is just as important to remember that there are people who will be determined to cause problems, who want to injure or kill others. Being ready for that is critical, I believe. I do not ascribe to the idea that, “there is a demon behind every rock.” I do believe that there is always the potential of a demon being there. As an INFJ and as a Christian, I seek to live peacefully with others. This is something God calls each of us to do. As often as possible, I seek God’s wisdom in resolving things peacefully. However, I have spent years training so that if things cannot be resolved peacefully, I hope that those of you out there will seek God’s wisdom with how to live peacefully with others, and how to protect yourself, your loved ones, or the stranger amongst you.
Whether it’s conflict with your spouse, your child, a co-worker, your neighbor, taking time to listen and talk calmly can greatly help the situation. It has been my experience that sometimes, all it takes is someone taking the time to listen to their pain and anger and responding respectfully is all that it takes to resolve things. Or, at the very least, to open the door to peaceful resolution. I also recommend you talk with your religious/clergy, someone in law enforcement, or similar vocation for tips to use. I also encourage you to take self-defense lessons and/or fire-arms training, so that you can learn how to respond with other means do not work or are not an option because of that particular situation. How you choose to respond is always your responsibility. Each of us must accept responsibly for the chooses we make. All of us also have the responsibility to learn what we can so that we can deal with life in constructive and wise ways.
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