Future Vacation Plans

It has been a long couple of weeks for me. Been trying to get some on-line training done, but the site has not been very cooperative. Par for the course...

My wife has been planning the majority of our vacations for the last few years. Because of my work load with Drill, work at the prison, etc., I have been happy to let her do it. However, during our last vacation, Sharon told me that it was now my turn to plan a vacation. Fine by me...

So far, our vacations have been focused on having fun and being entertained. We have taken day tip to nearby places to learn more about history and science. But, so far, that has not been a focus of our vacation. Enter my planning...

It has been almost two decades since I visited my alma maters, Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary (LPTS) (http://www.lpts.edu/) and Centre College (https://www.centre.edu/). I have been interested in visiting them for a while. Then, an interesting idea came to me.

Near Centre College, there is State Park commemorating the Perryville Battle. I have been to the site at least once while I was in college, but I don’t remember a whole lot. It is a major battle ground in Kentucky, remembered as ‘the bloodiest battle’ in Kentucky.

While thinking about all of this, I was reminded of a class that I had taken while at LPTS, one of my favorites. It was an ethics class on the life and works of Frederick Douglas, a runaway slave who became very involved with the American abolitionist. It was one of my favorite classes for a variety of reasons.

Then the idea hit me, do an educational vacation concerning the Civil War. As I started doing my research, I saw that there were quite a number of really good places, both State historical sites and National Parks. So, I will have quite a few places to choose from.

Why am I interested in this? For several reasons. Part of it is because racism is, unfortunately, still a major issue today. Although my kids are growing up in ‘small-town America’ where it is not ‘in your face,’ there are still all sorts of movies, news articles, etc., that make it ‘in your face.’ Another reason is that the Civil War was about Federal Rights verses State Rights. This is something that has been in the news, too. Whether it’s about Federal laws dictating how we are all supposed to live, or how people want to make their own decisions with how to live, what religious beliefs to follow, what to do in their free time, etc.

And, that is what America was founded upon, to be honest. The right that each of us have to pursue our own dreams, whatever they may be. Be it our choice of careers, things that we enjoy to do in our spare time, etc. Such things are just as relevant then as they are now, especially with how much the Federal government, through all sorts of regulations, has been making things even more difficult for many of us.






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Vacation Time

I know that I have not been very regular with my writings these last few months. In fact, it is now April and I have only made two prior blog entries. Unfortunately, I have had many other obligations to take care of. Since I blog on the side as a creative outlet, things like my job, my Nebraska National Guard obligations, family, etc., all have to come first.

As you can see from this title of this blog entry, I am currently on vacation. Last week, my family and I spent time at Walt Disney World. We left on April 6th and returned this past Sunday, April 15th. It was a great vacation, though there were quite a few ‘challenges’ along the way.

Probably the biggest challenge that I am still facing is an inner ear infection that I picked up a week ago. When I was a kid, I would occasionally get a bad ear ache. I remember laying in bed, crying, because of the pain. Usually it was one ear or the other. But, at least on two different occasions, I had an ear infection in both ears at the same time. Needless to say, that was a very miserable week or so. Although I had a lot of pain, I did not have any major problems with vertigo along with my ear aches. However, this time, it has been a major problem for the first few days. Since Friday, vertigo has not been nearly as big of an issue. However, the first few days…

The ear ache asides, it was a very enjoyable trip all together. It was definitely wonderful getting away from my full-time job at the prison. And, it is always nice being able to spend time with the family ‘making magical memories.’ There are several things that really stand out in my mind that were memorable. Of course, my wife and two kids may not agree with my choices.

One of the perks with being in the Military are the discounts that it opens for us. Because of this, and the fact that my wife is very good at finding deals, we were able to enjoy a lot of things that were within our budget. One splurge that we did indulge in was staying at the Yachtclub Resort. Because we were both celebrating a birthday this month, and because we will be celebrating 10 years or marriage later this year. At, let me tell you what, it was definitely worth it! What a wonderful, and roomy, corner room we had! Although we didn’t have the pull-out bed that we were hoping for, the extra room was definitely appreciated. That was a real highlight for the trip!

Top on my list, and probably also for my wife, was having dinner together sans (without) kids. We did this on Wednesday at the Yachtsman’s Steakhouse. This was very fine dining, indeed! Our waiter was a gentleman from Haiti, and he really went out of his way to make our meal very memorable! We each received a complimentary glass of champagne in celebration of our 10 Year Anniversary. We also received an anniversary version of the menu that we could keep, which he rolled up and tied with a bow.

Another thing that I really enjoyed was ‘touring the nations’ at Epcot and having snacks from ‘around the world’ for supper. Some of the meals we enjoyed more, others not so much. But, it was a real learning experience tasting different kinds of foods from different countries. Unfortunately, by nightfall, my ear was starting to really hurt, so I returned to the room early while my wife and kids stayed for the fireworks.

As a high sensing introvert, I kind of struggled at times with being at Walt Disney World in October of 2016. I pretty much felt overwhelmed every day at some point. Although that did detract a bit from enjoying the vacation, my wife worked with me. At one point, she utilized one of my skills of maneuvering quickly through a crowd. As an INFJ, one of the more unique things that I can do is judge spaces and who people are moving in a crowd pretty well. Because of this, I was able to guide us from the middle of Magic Kingdom to a ride on the far end in a fairly short amount of time. If memory serves, this enable use to enjoy a ride twice. Once, because the lines was short at the moment, and once with a Fast Pass.

This time, I tried something a little different in order to make the times at the parks more enjoyable for me. Because of my love for writing, I decided to do a journal of our trip. It was of things that I experienced, so things that my wife and kids did might not have been included. Because my wife is very extroverted, and we have two young kids, she planned things out so that we were very busy throughout four of the 5 ½ days at the parks (including half a day at Disney Springs). So, I often found myself writing while in line, sometimes while actually walking. So, some of my writings are quite readable, and some of them not-so-much. There were times, though, where I was able to write fairly well even though I was walking. But, this was an exception, not the rule. But, it did serve its purpose. Not only was I able to document a lot of the things that we did, when we did it, and how well we liked it, but also was able to get some ‘introvert-time’ in. In fact, it worked so well that I did not fell very drained at all during the trip. My only regret was not being able to have more time to write my reflections.

One of the new rides at Animal Kingdom was the Pandora ‘Flight of Passage.’ We did that Monday afternoon and it was greatly loved by all! If you have not watched the movie Avatar, it might be hard to understand. In a nutshell, you are able to ride a flying creature called a banshee as it flies around the jungles of their world. It is 3D, and exceptionally well done! Both my wife and I watched several videos on this particular ride, either people talking about their experiences or someone actually doing the ride. We both agree that the videos that we watched *do not* do that experience justice!

I could write pages and pages and pages of our experiences, but I think I will hold off for now. It was a really wonderful time, in spite of the challenges. Speaking of challenges… As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog entry, I started having a really bad earache during this trip. In fact, I am still suffering from it. Although the pain has mostly subsided, unless it is getting close to my next round of ear drops, I still cannot hear well out of my left ear. And, when you ear is ‘stuffy’ and you have tinnitus, the ringing becomes more than just a little noticeable. Thankfully, I have a follow-up appointment with our family doctor tomorrow about it. The sooner I can get it healed up, the better.

I hope that this entry finds all of you doing well. I have quite a few things saved for blogging on. Although I have many other things that I have to do, I hope to do at least one more blog this week. If not this week, hopefully next week.

Agenda Hijacking

(This will be written as I originally wrote it about 1.5 days ago. Things have been a little busy, so I haven’t been able to post this blog entry until now. I hope that you enjoy it.)

At the time of putting ‘pen-to-paper,’ it is almost 3 AM, Sunday, February 18, 2018. I have just sat down after brewing some tea so that I can write down what my mind has been pondering for a good hour. I don’t get times like this very often, where I feel inspired to write and can sit down to write it down.

There has been tragedy in the news, once again. There was another school shooting in Florida, with 17 killed and maybe 50 injured. All done by one angry, young man. Who may or may not have ties to white supremacist. I don’t know much of the details because I have been very busy with work, family, dealing with some really bad back pain, etc. But, truth be known, I probably won’t read much from the main news networks because I am getting pretty sick and tired of all the special interest groups hijacking the events for their own agendas.

Pretty much every day, be it on tv, on Facebook, on LinkedIn, or some other place, I see one article after another take an event, be it current or not, and make it fit their particular agenda. Those wanting stricter gun control will focus on the details that support their agenda. Those touting a ‘armed everybody” will focus on those details that give credence to theirs. The list goes on and on.

And while we are allowing the special interest groups to pull us one way or another, there are still many people still bleeding, still hurting, still mourning, still screaming, Why God, why?!” and still people ready to stone others who don’t see life their way, etc. To me, that is the greatest tragedy.

I am in my mid-forties and will be celebrating a birthday soon. I have served in the US Army, both Active Duty and in the Nebraska National Guard. Although my current job is with the Nebraska Department of Correctional Services, I have worked as a church pastor, done sales floor at Office Depot, done landscaping, worked as a lifeguard, etc. Each of these events are a part of me. Though some aspects might have a greater influence, they are all a part of me.

It saddens me that this happens so often, but id doesn’t surprise me at all. On the rare occasion where this “addenda hijacking” doesn’t happen, it’s like a breath of fresh air! I try to enjoy it as much as I can, even if it’s a perspective that I don’t necessarily agree with or can relate to. And, I am naturally angered when my perspective, my narrative is hijacked for someone else’s agenda.

About two decades ago, I was attending Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary and working on becoming an ordained minister with the Presbyterian Church (USA). As part of the ordination process, I had to attend a three day ‘career counseling workshop.’ My experience was a very negative one because of how they ‘evaluated’ me. One example that I will share is thus…

We were to spend some time drawing how we saw ourselves at this point and time in our lives, and give a narrative why we saw ourselves that way. We each had a large piece of newprint paper (probably 24x36 inches, and very thin paper) and a lot of pens, pencils, crayons, etc. My picture was of me hiking on a trail in the woods, complete with backpack, walking stick, and a hat. I was on a pat that was lined by trees, and on a hill. My narrative was that I was on a hill during this journey of my life, and that I could see a lot before me. Because I was in a forest with lots of hills, my exact route was hidden. I new which direction I needed to go (ministry), but the exact details were hidden. I also added in my narrative that I could occasionally see bits and pieces of my path, but mostly unknown. And, most of all, I was excited about everything!

After we all shared our narratives, those leading the discussion/session, gave their ‘observations.’ Bare in mind that I have always been an introvert, very introspective, a lover of nature and exploring, and a lover of learning. Although I had grown up in the church as a pastor’s kid, my personal relationship with Christ was just starting to really brow and blossom. The ‘career counselors,’ though, interpreted my narrative very differently. You see, they only saw a young man who was lost, alone, and afraid. And, I needed ‘professional help’ to get read of my ‘shyness’ and become ‘more outgoing,’ as well as to deal with many (supposed) issues with adoption and other things. I was angry then.

A few weeks later, when I receive their 8ish page ‘report,’ I was outraged! When I shared it with my small group of close friends (felt more like a family), they barely recognized the person in the report. This is based on their experiences with me over more than 6 months of being together. A couple of brothers-in-Christ sat down with me at different times to discuss what I could use to better myself and what was not worth keeping.

Although my time at LPTS was often very difficult, I was blessed with my wonderful friends and many enriching experiences. And, I will share one of my more positive experiences with you.

During my senior year, I took an ethics class on Frederick Douglass. Some of the books were written by the former slave who became a major voice with the US abolitionist movement before and during the American Civil War. Other books were written about him. In our class, there was the instructor and 10-12 students. All of us students ranged from very conservative to very liberal in theology and politics. We also varied in age from 20-something to over 50. A very diverse group, indeed! Though our Professor might not have always agreed with our observations or perspectives, he encouraged us to share them. He also challenged us with, “have you considered this perspective,” or “Okay, why did this impact you so much?” He also kept the discussion on the topic and minimized the rabbit trails and personal agendas. It was a challenging, but deeply enriching experience!

Now, I have done my own ‘agenda hijacking’ to an event and used it to push forward something that is important to me. That is, try to learn all you can from the whole situation. Don’t just let people speak, but listen to what they are saying. Be there to help them. Even if you disagree with their life stories, listen. In listening to what people are saying, we can learn and grow. By at least trying to understand their perspective, maybe we can help others to heal and grow, too.

Right now, there is a tragedy unfolding before our eyes. A tragedy so terrible more lives could be lost. A tragedy of anger, maybe even pride and/or deep lostness. A tragedy of a very young man so angry, who became so bitter, that he chose to take the lives of at least 17 people, some of whom ma not hae had any role in this ager, his malice. A young many with the intestinal fortitude to take ownership with what he did, not deny it.

Where his actions wrong? Absolutely! Should he be held accountable for his actions? Yes! Should we cast him a way and do nothing more with him? May it never be! He needs healing in his live, just like those who were injured or lost loved ones need healing in theirs. His friends and family need help with their own grief, mourning, anger, confusion, etc. Each of them are a human being, each made in the Image of God. Each of them deserves love and compassion.

Are we brave enough to help each of them? Or, will we choose to just follow some easy path/agenda that pleases us or is comfortable. Our chose will have repercussion in the future. What kind of future do we want for ourselves and our children?

An Update

I know that I have not posted anything on my blog for quite a while. In fact, it has been a month since my last entry. For those who do really enjoy reading my posts, I do apologize for not sharing anything until now. I have been extremely busy these last few months.

For over a year now, I have been working on an on-line course for the Army. It is a self-directed course that I have to do to keep my E6. I have been working on it, during my free time, for over a year, and still working on it. There is a lot to it, unfortunately….

Along with that course, I am also doing an ADSO (Additional Duty Safety Officer) course. It is the ‘course that never ends!’ (Think: “This is the Song that Never Ends!”). Although I have spent several weeks of time (spread out over several months), I am only in ‘the 5th section’ of at least 6. Unfortunately, because it is several ‘lessons’ within the same ‘section,’ the course does not show exactly how much I have done, or how much more I have to do. And, each ‘lesson’ has at least 6 sub-lessons. Each of these sub-lessons take several hours to do. Very, very time consuming!

On top of those two courses, I have my weekly Bible Study, take care of and do things with my family, and all of that upon my regular work at the prison. It has been extremely draining for me trying to stay on top of all of this, as I am sure that you can guess. In fact, it has been so difficult for me to juggle all of this, I took a month-long break from doing my Bible Study so that I might be able to focus better on the on-line courses. It has worked somewhat, but I still haven’t finished them.

Unfortunately, I have also been fighting more and more with my lower back pain and the arthritis in my knees. This has made working very difficult at times. And, all of this adds to my stress.

Although I am very good at my job with State Corrections, it is not a job that I get a lot out of most days. For those who don’t know, working in corrections can be very stressful and very draining. This is especially so in a maximin security institution, like what I work in. Not only do I have to be very cognizant of all that is happening around me, but also around my co-workers. On top of that, I have to deal with very manipulative people (not all Inmates are manipulative, but many are). And, doing that for 12 hours a day….

I know that many of you out there face more difficulties on a daily basis than I do. Just as many of you would have a very difficult time fathoming all that I deal with. Each of us have our own unique set of experiences and perspectives. Each of us have our own cultural backgrounds that can either help or hinder how one deals with things. It’s things like that which make each of us unique. Although, these backgrounds can either make it easier or more difficult to relate with others.

Going forward, I really do not know how much time I will have for doing posts. It has been extremely challenging for me to get things done. Then again… Writing and doing art are two of my favorite ways to relax, introvert, and recharge. Reading would be a close second to these two. So, maybe I will try harder to write one or two posts per week. Maybe…

Now, if there are things that you are interested in discussing, please let me know. Did you have problems understanding something that I did a post on? If so, please ask me. Or, if one of my posts has touched your life in a meaningful way, I would love to know that, too. Even though this blog is primarily a creative outlet for me, I would also really like to better get to know my audience, too.

Extremely Busy Times

The other day I looked at when my last Blog Entry was and I was a bit shocked. I knew that I had not made an entry for a while, but I hadn't realized that it's been almost three whole months!

Things have been extremely hectic for me lately. The biggest thing is that the prison that I work at is so understaffed right now that we are getting hit for mandatory overtime at least once, if not twice, per week. That’s on top of working our 4x 12 hour shifts. That has been making things extremely difficult for all of us there.

On top of this job, I have a wife and two kids, I usually do a weekly Adult Bible Study, and I am the Adjutant (Secretary) for our local VFW. That’s a lot going on, huh? For some of you out there, that is the norm for you. For others, doing this much work might be a totally foreign concept. I tell you what, it is very difficult to balance all of this.

In fact, that’s the biggest thing. It has been an on-going challenge to get an appropriate balance between work, being there for my family, taking care of things around the house, look for a new job that better utilizes my skills and interests (and is a lot less stressful and dangerous), do my daily devotions, attend church, do a good preparation for my weekly Bible Study, etc. It seems like I have to ‘rob Peter to pay either Paul or Mary.’ And, that is not really including taking time just for myself.

Asides from daily devotions, I admit that I have often shortchanged myself with good, quality self-care time. Whether it’s reading a good book, doing some creative writing (for this blog, for example), watching a favorite TV show, etc., my self-care often goes onto the chopping blog first. Or, when I do take time to rest, relax, and recharge, I feel guilty because I am not addressing any of the other priorities in my life. I honestly feel like I have been burning the candles at both end, and in the middle. Getting very little sleep during my work days because of the insane hours that I have to work, doesn’t help either.

From time-to-time, I have checked the stats for my blog and have often been surprised to see that people have visited it on occasion. This has been encouraging since that means people enjoy what I write and check back once-in-a-while. It is also sometimes a source of frustration. I see that people are coming back, hoping to see more, and are probably disappointed; and, I feel guilty for not adjusting my time more so that I could write more entries.

I am hoping that things will get better soon. Although we are getting new staff, things are still really difficult. However, I still have to deal with all that I have. Since my Bible Study won’t meet again until next year, that will help a little with time.

Each of us have to wrestle with priorities. My wife knows very well how frustrated I often feel with all my current obligations. The Bible Study and helping with VFW are a much needed source of self-expression that I need, something that I thoroughly love doing. So is this blog. It is my hope that things will improve such that I can do more blogging. Not just because it is a creative release for me, but because many of you out there really enjoy reading it. May God help each of us with our priorities.

A Glimpse of Hope

This past week, I got a glimpse of hope for two families who were visiting the prison that I work at. For privacy reasons, I will not be sharing many details. However, I will share some basic things because I believe others need to see this glimpse.

Recently, there was the initial trial for an Inmate concerning a serious crime he had committed against another while in prison. The two families, the one of the accused and the one of the victim, were at the proceedings. From what I understand from my conversations with others, their interactions with each other in the courtroom was anything but cordial. In fact, the impression that I got was that it was pretty hostile.

Not long after the Inmate who had been arraigned returned, it was time to start processing the second session of visitors. As we were doing so, in walk two ladies who said something about being followed. I looked up perplexed, but then in walked two Sherriff’s Deputies, who immediately started talking with one the two ladies. A few moments later, another group of adults came in and I felt the tension rise very, very quickly. As the two groups talked, one Deputy stayed between the two groups, the other moved away to the side

the two groups were obviously struggling to keep things civil. And, I think I was not the only prison who thought things were going to "come to blows." Both Deputies were obviously tense, and I think most other visitors were getting nervous.

But then, something amazing happened. One woman said that she understands that the other woman was feeling deep loss and pain because... Then, the other woman acknowledged the pain that the other woman must be feeling. Though I sensed that these words were a little forced, I still got the sense that they were trying to be genuine and sincere. After this, my coworker started directing each group with what they could do as far as visiting went. The two groups then began to go their separate ways and the tension started to slowly ease.

From my experiences in ministry and with corrections, I know that both families will have a long, difficult journey ahead. Especially since the trial is just getting started. But, the impression that I got was that the two families were taking baby steps towards healing. In such an environment in which it happened, I definitely do feel that it was a miracle of God in progress, that He was slowly helping them with the healing process.

When a loved one is seriously hurt, betrayed, or even killed by someone else, often feels shock, confusion, and even rage. It is very easy for us to allow the pain, anger, loss, etc., to become bitterness. It is much harder to give the pain and anger to God and allow Him to help us forgive.

We cannot confuse forgiving others from allowing a Court of Law to hold other accountable for their actions. Forgiving them means that we allow God to take care of things, and that we let go of our need for revenge.

All of us have suffered pain from others. At times, we hold onto our own anger against ourselves because of things that we either did or failed to do. That is a part of life. The Good News is that Christ can bring healing and forgiveness into our lives. It might be a long and rocky road. But, I believe that it is worth it.

Looking at the Psalms

In a couple of weeks, I will re-start the Bible Study that I do. I am excited about it, because it gives me a creative outlet and something to look forward to each week. Honestly, I love teaching theology! At least for now, we will be looking at The Psalms. "Why?" you may ask. Well, several reasons.

The primary reason is because of the role that Psalms plays in worship. The Psalms were an integral part of the ancient Hebrew worship, and often is major part of ours. I am sure that you have noticed this. However, have you taken time to sit down and read through each of these Psalms that were used in a worship service and examined them in detail? If your church uses a Psalm as a ‘call’ and ‘response,’ have you really thought about what you were saying? Have you thought about what kind of events might have inspired a specific Psalm, or what the original words might convey in meaning?

Many of the Psalms are short, but full of vivid imagery and deep in theology. This will give us a lot to think about, pray about, and discuss. Another important thing is that most of these were someone's prayer that they wrote down. It was their way of putting words to what was on their heart and on their mind. Therefore, they can help us put our thoughts and feelings into prayer.

On a related note, the Psalms cover a very, very diverse range of emotions. From joy, to sadness, to loss, to being deeply confused, to absolute range, and many emotions in between. According to Paul in Romans 8:26-27, we see that the Holy Spirit aids us in our prayers, and searches our hearts. From the readings of the Psalms that I have done over the years, they have helped me put to words what I might be feeling and/or thinking.

While I am not fluent in Hebrew, I can work with that language much more easily than I can Greek. This will help me a lot with researching the history and original text. Believe it or not, this can be very important. For example, in Psalms 23, the original words used in verse 4 actually indicate a ‘staff’ and a ‘club?’ Which indicates to me that God will protect me from dangers that are ‘at a distance’ and those that are ‘right up close.’ That is pretty significant to me, don’t you think?

While most Psalms are a complete thought/prayer in and of themselves, several of the longer ones contain multiple parts. This means that we can either cover one of the longer Psalms in one session, or look at each of its parts over a period of two or more sessions. One Psalm that will take many weeks to look at is Psalm 119, which has over 170 verses! Though they cover a similar theme, they are very diverse in how they express it.

To be honest, it is very easy to look at Psalms and not really think about what they mean. They are very poetic and have wonderful (though sometimes scary) imagery. But, do we really think about them, or do we just quickly read through them? What about our hymns of today? When we sing them, do we really think much about what the words mean? Did you know, Psalms were often chanted during a Jewish worship service, playing a similar role as our hymns. For me, this is yet another reason to look at them in depth.

Something that I am hoping to do, is to post some of the things that we are looking at with the Psalms. Now, there is no guarantee that I will be able to do so every week. Some weeks are more challenging than others. And, I am sure that each of you out there know that. But, not only am I wanting to post things that I discovered, but I also hope to share some of the observations that others share in the class.

As I have talked about before in prior blog entries, each of us is on a journey. What God does with me in my journey will be very different than someone else. Each of us have our own particular joys, sorrows, struggles, expectations, etc. It is my hope, though, that the things that we discuss and learn about the Psalms will be a blessing onto at least some of you each week. That’s not to say that I won’t blog about other things that I experience. As time and life allow it, I want to do so. But, one step at a time. Ready to start a journey together through the Psalms?