References:
- Rambo: First Blood (movie currently on Netflix)
- Romans 8:28-39 NAS
- Hebrews 12:1-3 NAS
- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NAS
I bet you are wondering why I would use a movie such as “Rambo: First Blood” as a reference for one of my posts. That is a good question. It is, after all, a violent war movie. Although it came out when I was in grade school, I have not watched it until now. Hard to believe, huh? But, I am glad that I did. And, by the time you finish reading this blog entry, I hope you understand why I would use it as a reference.
Tomorrow, on August 10th, there will be a Suicide Awareness 5K Fun Run/Walk. It's to help bring awareness of suicide amongst military veterans. You see, we have a very, very challenging job to do. Just like law enforcement, fire fighting, working in corrections, being a soldier can have a very high physical, emotional and spiritual toll. I took a couple of minutes and Googled suicide amongst veterans. It's almost heartbreaking…
The statistics are pretty varied. According to "The Truth About 22 Veteran Suicides A Day,” by Stacy Bare on June 2, 2015, it is believed that the statistics are only one veteran committing suicide each day. However, another article, “Why suicide rate among veterans may be more than 22 a day,” by Moni Basu, CNN, last edited on 1708 GMT (0108 HKT) November 14, 2013, estimates the statistics to actually be higher. It all depends on where you collect your data, during what time periods, what demographics you use, etc. But one thing we can agree on in general, suicide rates amongst veterans is very high.
I have three deployments to Iraq under my belt. That is more than quite a few people, but a lot less than many others. While I have been near several gunfights and car bombs, I have not actually been in one. The thing is, though, even if you are 200 meters from a car bomb and behind concrete walls, the sound is deafening, you still feel the blast wave, you still wonder “What the hell was that?!” In fact, not only was there a car bomb near where I was at, but several grenades and a lot of automatic fire. It was an attack on a gate not far from where I was at. The terrorist attack upon the Iraqi soldiers was repelled, thankfully. But it was still an attack near where I was.
I have worked with the Nebraska Department of Corrections for over 7 years. I have been a first responder on many occasions to fights, medical emergencies, and attempted suicides. On some occasions I played a support role. On other occasions I was involved with dealing with the situation. There have been times where I have been the team leader for the situation. Each of the situations have left a significant impression on me, and the others who had to respond. Most of the situations were resolved in a good way. But, there were other situations where things did not turn out well.
In my time studying for ministry, being the military, and working in corrections, I have learned many things. One of the things I have learned is that a significant event (like being in an accident, attacked by someone, being attacked by an animal, etc.) affects different people in different ways. For one person, an event may be disturbing, but he or she has no lasting problems. But, someone else can experience years of problems from the exact same situation. Everyone deals with stress differently.
While I was pastoring two United Methodist churches in Nebraska, one individual that I spoke with on several occasions was a former Vietnam Vet. He had felt disconnected from many churches for a variety reason, but his experiences in Vietnam was one. While others had ministered to him in the past, they were not able to connect with him. This was because they could not understand the framework that he had. Although I had not been in combat myself, I still had similar experiences from my deployments. This helped me to connect with him in a positive way.
In the movie, “Rambo: First Blood,” John Rambo is a former Captain and Green Beret. At the beginning of the movie, we see John Rambo trying to reconnect with a former member of his team. Although the widow has to tell him several times, Rambo finally realizes that his friend was dead. We find out later on that he was the last one on his team. Now, John Rambo is the last of this elite team. And, because Sheriff Teasle treats him shamefully, John chooses to be confrontational. Of course, things will not end well because of this.
At one point, about 66 minutes into the movie, we see Colonel (COL) Trautman sitting in a bar. He was John Rambo's former Commander while in Vietnam. Sheriff Teasle sees him, accepts Trautman's invitation to sit with him, and they talk. During this conversation when it is believed that Rambo has been killed, Teasle admits that he had really wanted to kill Rambo himself. Teasle statistically asks COL Trautman, “What would you have done with him if he came in? Would you wrap your arms around him, give him a big sloppy kiss? Or would you have blown his brains out?” Trautman pauses several seconds, then finally says, “I couldn't answer that until I met him face to face.”
Ironically, at the end of the movie, COL Trautman is able to confront Rambo when he is about ready to shoot Sheriff Teasle. Although it isn't immediate, Rambo finally starts listening to COL Trautman. Then something surprising happens. Here is this highly trained warrior suddenly breaking down. Rambo starts talking about his experiences, including one of his team members being killed by an explosion. Except this person wasn't killed immediately. Rambo tries to save him, but his soldier literately dies in his arms. A loved one being mortally injured and dying in your arms, that is really going to affect you. And from the flashbacks you see Rambo having, we know that he had many traumatic events during his service.
When a person is deeply affected by a traumatic event and they develop PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), it can seriously disrupt how a person is able to deal with life. You can read more about PTSD at the VA website and the Mayo Clinic. Not every soldier who deploys develops PTSD. Not every soldier who has PTSD has deployed. Many people in Law Enforcement, are First Responders/EMTs, and every day citizens develop PTSD because of events that they directly experience or witness. Although such events affect each person differently, the effects are felt none-the-less.
Although the events in “Rambo: First Blood” are fictitious, they do reflect what some people go through. COL Trautman was able to reach out to and connect with John Rambo at the end of the movie. But, not until after one man was killed and many others were injured. And then there's the great cost of property damage. The actions of two people at the beginning of the movie, John Rambo and Sheriff Teasle, have devastating consequences. In real life, there are just as much physical and emotional damage. There are many people who have served in the military and experienced traumatic events. When they come home, they not only have to deal with the trauma that they experienced, they have to also deal with the stigma of mental illness, the sigma of seeking help, and the negative perceptions that some people still have towards those who serve.
Being more introverted, I internalize a lot. I have to be very mindful of this and purposefully unwind and decompress. And there have been times where I had to talk with a close friend or a Chaplain to 'take that step back' so that I can better see things for what they really are. When one is under stress, it is very, very easy to develop blinders to all that is going on around you. You can very easily got focused on the thing or situation that is causing stress. When one has problems like PTSD, dealing with such situations become even more difficult.
Life can be extremely challenging at times. There are times where events can seem very overwhelming. At times we have to be like a marathon runner, enduring the difficulties. But, we should not try to deal with extreme situations on our own. I cannot understand everything someone else has gone through because I am not that person. I did not experience what they did the way they did. However, that doesn't mean I cannot listen and share the burden. The Ecclesiastes passage makes clear how important it is to have someone be there and help you. Being more introverted, I recharge best during my alone time. Whether it's through reading, writing, drawing, or just listening to music, I recharge best alone. For those who are more extroverted, they recharge as they interact with others. Neither is better, just different. The thing is, I still am a social person and need to interact with others. There are time where I need to talk with others about things that are bothering me. There are times where I need to use someone else as a sounding board to better 'take a step back' from a situation.
Showing posts with label military. Show all posts
Showing posts with label military. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Memorial and Remembrance
Memorial Day is on May 25th of this year. Many of you out there, who celebrate this day, will have BBQ, picnics, visit families, eat big meals, and maybe even watch a parade or go to a ceremony at a cemetery. Some of you will ignore the day, some of you will have to work, and some of you may ponder different things on this day.
I would encourage you to visit this Web Page, which is dedicated to this day. Unlike what many people think, it is not a day dedicated to honoring those who are presently serving (Armed Forces Day) or those who have served in the past (Veterans Day). Memorial Day is set aside to remember those who gave up their lives in service to this country and to protect our freedoms.
I am proud to be serving in the Nebraska National Guard and continue to serve my country. I have been deployed three times and am currently on my fourth deployment. But, Memorial Day is not about me and what I am doing. My Grandfather, MAJ (RET) Earl Underwood SR, who passed away a few years ago, proudly served as a career Army man. But, this day is not about him. Instead, let me tell you about my friend, Kyu Chay.
When I was Active Duty, from 2001-2005, I was stationed at FT Bragg, NC, home of the 82nd Airborne Division. I was a member of the Bravo Company (Blacksheep), 313th Military Intelligence Battalion. Being a Blacksheep, we were attached to 2nd Brigade of the 82nd Airborne Division (this is before things were restructured in 2005). During that time, I was an intelligence analyst and SGT Chay was a linguist (interpreter). We worked together at times and I always enjoyed working with him. He loved a good laugh, wanted to bring out the good of others, and was a very hard worker. Although we didn't hang out together after we were done working, he was someone I highly respected. So did pretty much everyone in our Blacksheep company.
In early 2003, we deployed to Kuwait, waiting for the green light to go into Iraq and remove Saddam Hussein from power. At times we worked near each other, other times we did not. Because we had different roles to play in intelligence gathering, I didn't see the linguists very often. Eventually, in 2004, we returned to the States. I earned my E5 and, within a year, left Active Duty. Although I did keep in touch with some friends from the 'Blacksheep Family,' as we called ourselves, Chay was one that I did not keep in contact with.
Even though not all of us were close friends, all of us who served in B CO Blacksheep were a family because we had served together. Not just in peace time, but during a time of armed conflict. For those who have not been in the military, law enforcement, or similar high risk job, it's hard to understand the kind of 'Family' that we are. And really, it is hard to describe. It's a brotherhood (in the sense of including both men and women) of people that work hard together, protecting each other, fighting for each others' lives so that, with luck and/or God's Grace (depending on your perspective) you can all return home together. Even though I have served with people that I enjoyed working with and with those who really got under my skin (and I am sure the feeling was mutual), I am proud to have served with all of them.
In 2006, I volunteered to deploy with the 867th Quartermaster Battalion, Nebraska National Guard. We started our deployment in Iraq during the summer and was there until the summer of 2007. It was during this time that my wife and I started dating, which was a real high point of my deployment. I learned that Kyu Chay, who had made Staff Sergeant (SSG), was also serving in Afghanistan. It would be his last service to this great country.
At the end of October, 2006, I received an E-mail from a fellow Blacksheep entitled, “Family Tragedy.” It was then that I found out that one of our own had paid the ultimate sacrifice while serving in Afghanistan. He had been killed by a roadside bomb. At first, I just felt a bit numb, shocked really. Here was a guy that I knew, had not been real close friends with, but had served with just three years prior. Not long after that, it just really, really hit me. Honestly, words can't express what it feels like when a brother-in-arms that you know, personally, lays down his or her life. He left behind a wife and two young kids, his parents and a brother. But, he also left behind more than 20 of the Blacksheep Family that had known him and had served with him, and called him a brother.
On Thursday, 21MAY2015, we had a Memorial Day 5K run/walk. When I ran it, I was thinking of Chay. Someone that I knew who had laid down his life for our Country. Even though it was over 90 degrees at night when we ran (it gets hot here in the Middle East), I still ran. Even though my body wanted to stop, I chose to still run. I reminded myself that even though I am not currently on Jump Status, I served as an Airborne Paratrooper for three years, and will always be one. I can push myself. I also reminded myself that, while I am still serving and can run, there are those who have served and gave their lives. They can no longer hold their children, love their spouses, work their jobs, talk with their friends. Therefore, I pushed myself to complete the 5K, even though my body was not wanting to run. I pushed myself because others who came before me are no longer able to. It's part of the reason why I still choose to serve. But, on that Memorial Day Run, I choose to push myself hard to run because Brothers (and Sisters)-in-Arms are no longer able to do so.
During this Memorial Day weekend, I hope you have fun being with friends and relaxing. But, please don't go around thanking those of us who are serving and still alive. Although we always do really appreciate it, help us to remember those who no longer can. Help us to remember the husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, who chose to put on the uniform and sign a blank check for “up to and including my life” in service to this country…...and never came home. It is because of their sacrifices that we remember this weekend. The holes in some of our hearts that will never be filled because one who was Family is no longer there. Let us remember and never forget.
I would encourage you to visit this Web Page, which is dedicated to this day. Unlike what many people think, it is not a day dedicated to honoring those who are presently serving (Armed Forces Day) or those who have served in the past (Veterans Day). Memorial Day is set aside to remember those who gave up their lives in service to this country and to protect our freedoms.
I am proud to be serving in the Nebraska National Guard and continue to serve my country. I have been deployed three times and am currently on my fourth deployment. But, Memorial Day is not about me and what I am doing. My Grandfather, MAJ (RET) Earl Underwood SR, who passed away a few years ago, proudly served as a career Army man. But, this day is not about him. Instead, let me tell you about my friend, Kyu Chay.
When I was Active Duty, from 2001-2005, I was stationed at FT Bragg, NC, home of the 82nd Airborne Division. I was a member of the Bravo Company (Blacksheep), 313th Military Intelligence Battalion. Being a Blacksheep, we were attached to 2nd Brigade of the 82nd Airborne Division (this is before things were restructured in 2005). During that time, I was an intelligence analyst and SGT Chay was a linguist (interpreter). We worked together at times and I always enjoyed working with him. He loved a good laugh, wanted to bring out the good of others, and was a very hard worker. Although we didn't hang out together after we were done working, he was someone I highly respected. So did pretty much everyone in our Blacksheep company.
In early 2003, we deployed to Kuwait, waiting for the green light to go into Iraq and remove Saddam Hussein from power. At times we worked near each other, other times we did not. Because we had different roles to play in intelligence gathering, I didn't see the linguists very often. Eventually, in 2004, we returned to the States. I earned my E5 and, within a year, left Active Duty. Although I did keep in touch with some friends from the 'Blacksheep Family,' as we called ourselves, Chay was one that I did not keep in contact with.
Even though not all of us were close friends, all of us who served in B CO Blacksheep were a family because we had served together. Not just in peace time, but during a time of armed conflict. For those who have not been in the military, law enforcement, or similar high risk job, it's hard to understand the kind of 'Family' that we are. And really, it is hard to describe. It's a brotherhood (in the sense of including both men and women) of people that work hard together, protecting each other, fighting for each others' lives so that, with luck and/or God's Grace (depending on your perspective) you can all return home together. Even though I have served with people that I enjoyed working with and with those who really got under my skin (and I am sure the feeling was mutual), I am proud to have served with all of them.
In 2006, I volunteered to deploy with the 867th Quartermaster Battalion, Nebraska National Guard. We started our deployment in Iraq during the summer and was there until the summer of 2007. It was during this time that my wife and I started dating, which was a real high point of my deployment. I learned that Kyu Chay, who had made Staff Sergeant (SSG), was also serving in Afghanistan. It would be his last service to this great country.
At the end of October, 2006, I received an E-mail from a fellow Blacksheep entitled, “Family Tragedy.” It was then that I found out that one of our own had paid the ultimate sacrifice while serving in Afghanistan. He had been killed by a roadside bomb. At first, I just felt a bit numb, shocked really. Here was a guy that I knew, had not been real close friends with, but had served with just three years prior. Not long after that, it just really, really hit me. Honestly, words can't express what it feels like when a brother-in-arms that you know, personally, lays down his or her life. He left behind a wife and two young kids, his parents and a brother. But, he also left behind more than 20 of the Blacksheep Family that had known him and had served with him, and called him a brother.
On Thursday, 21MAY2015, we had a Memorial Day 5K run/walk. When I ran it, I was thinking of Chay. Someone that I knew who had laid down his life for our Country. Even though it was over 90 degrees at night when we ran (it gets hot here in the Middle East), I still ran. Even though my body wanted to stop, I chose to still run. I reminded myself that even though I am not currently on Jump Status, I served as an Airborne Paratrooper for three years, and will always be one. I can push myself. I also reminded myself that, while I am still serving and can run, there are those who have served and gave their lives. They can no longer hold their children, love their spouses, work their jobs, talk with their friends. Therefore, I pushed myself to complete the 5K, even though my body was not wanting to run. I pushed myself because others who came before me are no longer able to. It's part of the reason why I still choose to serve. But, on that Memorial Day Run, I choose to push myself hard to run because Brothers (and Sisters)-in-Arms are no longer able to do so.
During this Memorial Day weekend, I hope you have fun being with friends and relaxing. But, please don't go around thanking those of us who are serving and still alive. Although we always do really appreciate it, help us to remember those who no longer can. Help us to remember the husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, who chose to put on the uniform and sign a blank check for “up to and including my life” in service to this country…...and never came home. It is because of their sacrifices that we remember this weekend. The holes in some of our hearts that will never be filled because one who was Family is no longer there. Let us remember and never forget.
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