For Those Who Are Now Finished

References:
• Memorial Day meaning
• Use of ‘memorial’ in Scripture (NKJV)
• Ebenezer meaning
• Trace Adkins “Arlington”
• Documentary on a friend, Kyu Chay

If you look up the word ‘memorial’ in the Bible (I used the New King James version), you will see that it occurs 25 different times. That is a pretty significant word. In one particular case, ‘Ebenezer’ is used in 1 Samuel 7:12 concerning a site that was dedicated to God for when He had helped them during a time of great need. Sometimes a memorial was made (either worn) or as a specific place to remind the Hebrew people of what God had done for them in the past. Many of the feasts, especially the Passover, was exactly just that. It was a solemn remembrance of how God had delivered the Hebrew people from slavery in Egypt.

Here in America, we have several days set aside for remembrance of the military. We have Armed Forces Day (http://afd.defense.gov/) to celebrate those who are currently serving in the Armed Forces, whether they have deployed to a combat zone or not. We also have Veteran’s Day (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veterans_Day), which is when we recognize those who have served in a Combat Zone. We also have a specific day, Memorial Day, set aside to pay our respects to those who have died in defense of our freedom, in defense of this country.

About a week or so ago, I reached 16 years of service in the US Army, whether Active Duty or National Guard. I am over 40 years old, so that is about 1/3 of my life. Quite a long time, huh? And, considering the fact that I am writing this blog entry, that means that only two of those holidays are about me and what I have done. Those are Armed Forces Day and Veteran’s Day. Today, Memorial Day, is not about me and what I have done. Though I have served in three combat tours, all of them in Iraq, this day is not about me.

Let me introduce you to a friend of mine, Staff Sergeant Kyu H. Chay (http://arlingtoncemetery.net/khchay.htm). He was a friend of mine while I served with Bravo Company 313 Military Intelligence Battalion, 2nd Brigade, 82nd Airborne Division. Though I wasn’t as close to Kyu as some of the others in my unit were, I did know him and I did spend some time with him, I did deploy with him at one point, and I am proud to have known him.

Kyu always strove to be a positive person, joking around when we it was appropriate. But, he was also a very hard worker and was very good at what he did. Kyu and I were just two of B CO 313 MI who deployed together to Iraq in 2003 and 2004. We first stayed at a base in Kuwait while we got ready to ‘go north’ into Iraq. Because we were in different sections, Kyu and I did not do a lot of things together. But, we all experienced some of the same things. We all learned how to give each other an IV, just in case… We all learned to put our NBC masks on very, very quickly. It’s one thing to train to put them on. It is something else entirely to hear the siren go off, indicating that a SCUD missile was heading towards our location and could potentially have chemical/biological agents in it.

We all endured some very hot temperatures, we all experienced some insane sandstorms, we all experienced some heavy down pours. Though we were in different sections, we still traveled north into Iraq together. We all had to pull some very long hours doing our respective jobs, pulling security, driving vehicles, etc. It was a very, very challenging time for all of us.

I left active duty in April of 2005. The following year, while a member of the Nebraska National Guard, I found out about a deployment opportunity to Iraq. That summer I deployed to Iraq with the 867th Quartermaster Battalion, and stationed at Camp Taji, which is just north of Baghdad. It was not an easy deployment for several reasons. But, I prayerfully did the best that I could.

Because those of us in B CO 313 MI were a close-nit group, we kept in contact via an E-mail group. (Remember, this is before Facebook and other social network things that we have today.) It was nice exchanging information about major (and sometimes minor) life events with those who had ‘been through hell and back with you.’ Not only did we serve together, but we also deployed together. Even if we didn’t really like or associated with everyone in the group, we were still a family. It was through this family E-mail group that I first learned of Chay’s passing.
I can still picture many of the events in my mind of that day. I was checking my E-mail before going to my ‘night shift’ when I got the notice. I must have reread that E-mail four or five times, trying to get it to sink in. For most of that evening/night, I just felt numb. I probably shot my girlfriend (wife now for almost 9 years) a quick message about it before I left for work, though I don’t remember for sure. It was quite the blur for me.

There is not a whole lot about that shift that I remember well, because I was numb. Here was someone that I knew, had served with, had laughed with, etc. I had met his wife and children at least once during a celebratory cookout in celebration of us returning from deployment together. I can’t remember if I could recall his face or voice that day. (Being an INFJ, I am gifted with such vivid memories.) Probably not. That was probably one of the hardest shifts I had ever worked.

Some time later, one of the Blacksheep family members let all of us know that the Special Forces Group that Chay had been attached to had been part of a documentary on the SF. Of course, I let the family know that I wanted a copy. I received it some time later. But, I couldn’t watch it for some time. Several years later, really. After Sharon and I were married and had moved to our new house, I came across the DVD. We watched that night, I think. It was a very solemn occasion for me. I had hoped to see Kyu actually interact with the other soldiers. But, they did not. They just showed a recent picture of him from during that deployment. I guess they decided that, since Kyu gave his life during that deployment, that was the best way to do it. They did show how his death impacted the lives of those with whom he had served.

It was very touching to see how each of these incredible ‘hard core’ men dealt with this loss. Each had their own way of mourning their loss, just like each of us in the Blacksheep family did. Many of them knew Kyu for much less time than those of us in the 313th MI. But, Kyu’s love for life, sense of humor, dedication to duty, etc., had touched each of these men deeply, and their loss was very evident.

Many of us today have served with wonderful and honorable people, risking our health, even our very lives, in service to this country. Though we often don’t agree, we often step on each others’ toes, and we can passionately dislike each other. But yet, because of our shared training, shared deployment, shared service, and potential shared sacrifice, we are a family. Some we love, some we like/tolerate, some we don’t like much at all. But, we are family indeed.

For those who have never experienced this yourselves, be thankful. Even if you have lost a loved one during a deployment, it is different with how you experience it compared to those of us who actually served with them. The loss is no less painful, it’s just different. Just trust me with this.

As we observe Memorial Day now and in the future, please do not thank me for my service. Save that for Armed Forces Day, Veteran’s Day, or the Army Birthday. Memorial Day is when we take time to remember those who laid down their lives to protect our freedoms. It is not a ‘happy day.’ to any of use who have lost a loved one. It can be a sad day, or an extremely painful one. Sure, we have our happy memories of the individual(s). But, that chair is now empty in our lives. For some of us, being ‘thanked for our service’ or being wished ‘Happy Memorial Day’ can be painful, even insulting.

Each of us mourn our losses in our own ways. Tonight I will introduce my kids to my good friend and brother, Kyu Chay. Like myself and many, many others, we signed up to serve our country up to and including our very lives. We all gave some. Like many others over the decades, centuries even, Kyu Chay gave his very all. Today, Memorial Day, as all about them. Kyu, feet and knees together brother. Feet and knees together.

Blood Oaths and Grace

Scripture:
Genesis 15
Ephesians 2:1-10

The other evening (17May2015), I was sitting in Chapel and the text of the sermon was based on Ephesians 2:1-10. The sermon was focused on God's Grace and that we don't deserve it and cannot earn it. I did enjoy the sermon, but I was distracted for a while.

I don't know about those of you out there reading this blog, but there are times where I am listening to a really good sermon, speech, TV show, etc., and my mind suddenly starts wandering on to something else. Sometimes this is because my mind tries to translate what I am hearing from English to German. And, since my vocabulary isn't the greatest (use it or loose it), I sometimes miss a lot because my mind is searching for the right German word or phrase for something that I just heard. Sometimes my mind wonders because of things going on in my life at that time. With either of these two situations, I usually have to consciously reign my mind in and refocus on the situation at hand so that I can continue to glean from what is being said.

Then, there are times like this evening where I am listening to something and then a Scripture passage comes to my mind. It has been my experience that, when this happens, it is because God desires me to do something with it. Sometimes, it is to share with a friend because the Scripture passage addresses something in their life. Other times it is something for me. Sometimes the connection is obvious. But, there are other times where the connection is not so obvious. In this particular situation, it took me a few moments to see the connection.

The passage that the Chaplain was using was Ephesians 2:1-10, talking about God's unmerited grace. That is, grace that we do not deserve and cannot afford to purchase. It is a free Gift from God and given to us, in spite of what we've done. This unmerited Grace puts us all on the same, level playing field. That is, we all stand before God in the same fashion, not deserving what we get. No matter what any of us have done (how 'good' or how 'bad'), all of us have sinned and are in need of God's grace. At the end of the day, none of us is any better than anyone else. All of us have sinned against God, each and every day, in though, word, and in deed. We all should receive His justice. Instead, He offers us His Grace.

It is interesting to me that God would bring to my mind the blood oath that took place in Genesis 15 during this sermon. Here is a good discussion of what a "blood oath” is and how it relates to Abram (later renamed by God to Abraham). In this context, it was a covenant that God made with Abram, promising him an heir from his own body. Remember, Abram was approximately 75 years old (Genesis 12:4) when he left Haran for Egypt. Because Abram and Sarai were childless, Abram assumed that his inheritance would go to one of his servants (Genesis 15:2-4). But, God again told Abram that would have a child born to him and Sarai. And, God made a covenant with Abram, a blood oath.

In Abram's time, two people would sometimes make a blood oath to seal an important purchase, treaty, or other important event. The large animals were cut in half and all of the blood and gore would be collected within an area, and perhaps birds of some sort, also. Then, both people would walk through the gore, between the dead animals. As each person did this, they were essentially declaring “may the rendering of the animals be done to myself if I do not uphold my part of the deal.” But yet, God does something different with Abram.

Instead of both God and Abram walking through the gore and each having to uphold their part of the deal, God prevented Abram from walking between the animals. In the form of a torch, God passed between the animal carcasses, but Abram did not. That is because God caused Abram to fall into a deep sleep and was unable to move. God and God alone would be responsible for all parts of His promise to Abram. There was nothing Abram could do to earn this blessing, and nothing that he could do that would take it away from him. God was granting Abram this blessing without any requirements. All Abram had to do was trust God to fulfill it, in His good timing.

That is what God gives to each of us. His Grace, that is very costly to Him, is something that we cannot ever earn. It is His free Grace that we have to accept on faith (to trust in, to receive). The Bible is full of God extending His Grace to us, in spite of our many, many failings. We are not to treat this Grace lightly. Because of how costly this Grace was for us, we should not just receive it, but respond with a thankful heart and live a life of worship, a living sacrifice to God. Not to 'repay it,' for there is no way that we could ever earn or pay back the Grace the God has given us. All we can do is receive it, trust in it, and live a life of thankfulness in response to all that God has done for us.