Changes

To me, it's almost ironic... I started to write this post several months ago. At that time, I had a particular theme in mind. But, like many 'moments of inspiration,' I started writing and then stepped away to do something, didn't write my ideas down, and now they have faded away.

But, I am continuing with this post because, life is still changing. Also I cannot remember what spurred my initial post, many other 'inspirational things' have happened. So, I will write about those...

One of the things that has changed for me is my overall attitude towards my work. I grew up a pastor's kid and decided that being a pastor of a church would be the last thing I would ever do. Instead, I wanted to pursue a career in the military, work overseas, etc. Something excited, not boring like (my stereotypical idea of) a pastor. Fast forward to while I was in college, I gave my life to Christ in January of 1994. That following fall, I started feeling God's call to, what I perceived at the time, as God's calling to full-time ministry. And, I logically thought that it meant pastoring in a church or doing some sort of missionary work.

Upon graduating from Centre College, I pursued a Master's of Divinity (M. Div.) at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary, graduating in 2000. But, near the completion of my M. Div., my hopes of being ordianed in the Presbyterian Church (USA) were smashed. (It's a bit of a long story, something for another blog entry.) So my wife, at the time, and I moved from Kentucky to Indiana, and then to Colorado Springs, CO. It was in Colorado Springs that she, her parents, and I decided that the best move to make was to join the military. So, I joined the US Army as a Specialist (because of my college education) and started my military training. After my training, I was stationed at FT Bragg in North Carolina, with the 82nd Airborne Division.

Due to problems betwen the two of us, we were divorced three days before what would have been our third year anniversary. It was soon after that that I began my first of several deployments to Iraq. During this time, I once again tried to seek ordination with the Presbyterian Church (USA), but it, again, fell flat.

As my first four years of Enlistment were ending, I spent a lot of time thinking and praying about what direction God wanted me to go. During my last year of Enlistment, which included me earning my E5 (Sergeant), I continued to feel that God wanted me to leave Active Duty, go into the Nebraska National Guard, and be closer to my parents. I was on unemployment insurance or about 6 months. Towards the end of that time, I finally applied for a job that I did not want, working with the Nebraska Deparment of Correctional Services. Although I had becomse content with pastoring a church (had done some student pastor work and did pulpit supply on a few occassions), working with inmates in a prison was not something that I wanted to do, at all! Oddly enough, it seems that working at the prsino was where God did want me to work.

After working for NDCS for several years, deploying again to Iraq (2006-07 and 2010-11), my current wife, Sharon, and I felt that God was calling me to leave NDCS to pursue ministry with the United Methodist Church. But, after about 8 months, just after our second child, Morgan had been born, I was 'let go' from that position. Although Sharon found work in Omaha a few months after this, our preference was that I would work and she would be a stay-at-home-mom. So, I continued to look for full-time employment, avoiding returning to work with NDCS. During the whole time, my prayer had been, "God, only have me hired at the place that You want me to work." So, after almost 18 months of frustration and very few call-backs/interviews, I finally re-applied to work at the same prison that I had worked for about five years previously.

And, I have to admit, I was a bit upsent when I had hired very quickly to work back at the same prison. Not what I wanted! But, since I would be taking home about as much as my wife was making in Omaha, after all of the gas, we figured that it was a fair trade. Although there had been some turnover at the prison, there was still a number of familiar faces there.

So, here I am... Going from running from God, to embracing Him.. Going from seeking an action-packed life to a (in my opinion) pursuing a boring one of ministry. Then, I went from single to being married (rushing into it), and then getting divorced after just under three years of marriage. Going from Active Duty to the Nebraska National Guard... Going from being divorced to remarried (Sharon's first marriage), to just having one kid, to now having two children. At times, I felt like a ping pong ball, going back and forth between different things.

For a long time, one thing had not changed, my resentment to God for having me work in a prison. It wasn't because I wasn't good, I was able to do my job very well. But, I felt like a square peg being slammed into a too small, round hole. But, over the last year or so, that has slowly changed... Somewhat...

While being posted in the kitchen, I started becoming more aware of the fact that many people, staff and inmates, greatly appreciated how I did things. Most importantly, I sought to know and enforce the rules, and that I strove to be as fair as possible to everyone. Needless to say, some inmates did not like it at all, that I sought to know the rules (in general and particular to that post). That's a given and why some of the people are in prison. But, there are many others who greatly appreciated how I do things.

I rotated from the kitchen to relief (filling in for someone who was out on training, had a day off, sick, etc.), and then to working in the Special Management Unit on the gallery that has three observation units. This particular gallery has some of the more disruptive or difficult inmates, as well as observation rooms for those who are on Plan due to suicided/inflicting self injury, etc. I knew this would be a very difficult gallery to work, and initially sought to bid out of it so that I would work someplace else.

After a couple of weeks, I realized something. Although the gallery had been difficult initially, things slowly changed. Because the inmates saw that they could count on my trying to be as fair as possible, doing everything to the best of my ability, and sought to take care of their needs as I was made aware of them. Within about two months, things got to the point to where I actually didn't mind working on that gallery. Of course, my prayer on the way to work each morning was that I would not have any 15 minutes checks (because of someone being on suicide watch, unusual behavior, etc.) In fact, I was often questioned, "Are you going to be here tomorrow?" Because they knew if I was, that I would address what ever the issue they were anticipating to the best of my ability. If someone else was going to be there, it would be hit or miss.

I have worked for the NDCS for almost 8 years now, working on my 'second number.' That is, a joke amongst us in Corrections about working for corrections, leaving, and then coming back. A person who has been in prison at different times in his or her life will have two or more numbers. I am on my 'second number.' Anyways... It has been a slow process, what God has done with me over the years. Corrections has never been my first choice. It is a profession that I would rather not work. But, in the last year or so, God has helped me to realize just how He has wanted to use me to touch the lives of others, staff and inmate alike. It has not been an easy change. In fact, I still am not 'thrilled' about this particular career. But, I am more appreciative what God wants to do through me.

On top of this, yet another change in my life. Early last year, my National Guard (NG) Unit was giving a 'head's up' that we were being looked at for possible deployment to the Middle East. This summer, we found out that we were, in fact, being deployed to the Middle East. After three deployments to Iraq, though, I am going to someplace else (another entry at a later date). This is a challenging and awkward situation for my family and myself. To add to that, as I was informing co-workers and friends at the prison, several said, "You are coming back to work here, right?!" This was not only co-workers (Officers and Corporals) but also a number of the leadership (Sergeants and Lieutenants). At first, I didn't take these comments to heart. But, after receiving several from many different people, including from the leadership, it really got me thinking... Just how much of an impact have I had on the lives of other people? Just what kind of ministry was God doing through me? Just how much had my negative attitude hindered my ministry, but yet how much has God allready done through me? Inspite of my 'piss-poor' attitude on many occassions?!

Through out life, we will all face many, many changes. Life altering changes. These can be positive, like a promotion or marriage or birth of a wanted childed, or they can be negative, like the death of a loved one. All relationships change. The same relationship with one person, even a sibling, can change from being extremely close, to going sour, to there being reconnection and even more depth in love and affection. Or, it could wither away totally. Only God knows. But, change will happen in all parts of our lives. The most important thing is how we deal with those changes? Will we accept them, become bitter from them, learn and grow, or stagenate and possibly even regress?

Contemplations of Priorities

Ever have one of those nights where you either have a very hard time going to sleep or where you wake up to do something and then can't fall back to sleep? Like everyone one else, I have nights like that from time-to-time. Sometimes when I can't fall asleep or go back to sleep, I spend time in prayer.  Other times, I contemplate things that I have done recently or haven't done in a long time. Other times, I just let my mind wander. Sometimes, though, my mind seems to want to go on a journey all of it's own. This morning was one of those times.

At first, my mind was just wandering about the events of this past week and about today. I have a dentist appointment this morning to get a number of fillings replaced and is the last day of my 'stay-cation.' That is, a vacation spent at home. In some ways, this stay-cation has been fairly productive for me. In other ways, it was not very productive at all. So that our two kids can each have a bedroom to themselves, Sharon and I have been moving our bedroom from downstairs to the upstairs. A priority for my stay-cation had been to move my office from one part of the up stairs to another so that we would have more room for our new bedroom. But, I haven't spent nearly enough time working on that.

Instead of dwelling on what I hadn't finished up here, like my mind usually does, my thoughts went quite a different direction. And, it was a very surprising path in some ways. I initially started thinking about my time growing up in Kansas and all of the things that I did back then.

I grew up in a medium sized town called Marysville, Kansas. Being a pastor's kid, we didn't have a whole lot, but we lived a fairly comfortable live. Like many boys, I grew up playing with Star Wars action figures, G.I. Joe figures, Transformers, etc. Yeah, I am a kid of the 70's and 80's. I can remember back when we rotary dial phones were standard, standard cable (if you had it) was between 13 and 20 channels, most channels went off the air sometime between 10 PM and midnight, etc.

I have always been more introverted than extroverted. So, while growing up, I never had a large group of close friends, just a couple of close friends that I would do things with on occasion. I spent a lot of time while growing up reading books and playing with my toys. I also would draw quite a bit.  And, probably around age 12 or so, I started journaling. While in high school, it was not uncommon for me to devour a whole novel within a weekend, and I started taking art classes from 6th grade on to develop that talent. I am not a Van Gogh, Albrecht Durer, or Raphael by any stretch of imagine. But, I have become good at drawing, especially with pencil and pen-and-ink.

During my high school years, I developed a fascination... No, love is a better word, for the German language. My dad, whose ancestors came from Germany, started taking German once a week when I was about seven years old. At that time, I didn't care about studying the language, but I did think it was cool (and fun) to learn some words and phrases. It wasn't until I was 14 that I sent to Europe with my parents for the first time. In spite of some very harsh culture shocks at the time (an excellent example from my first day: Being hungry and tired from flying from the US to Germany, not sleeping on the airplane, and then sitting down at a restaurant to eat. I picked up the menu and immediately slapped it back down on the table with great frustration, saying, "I can't read this!"), the trip soon awoke a great love for the language, history and culture of that country. So much so, my college major was German studies (language, culture, etc.)

Today, I still have lots of art supplies, lots and lots of books, and my interests in languages has expanded from just German to biblical Hebrew (which I have decent skills in), biblical Greek (which I really struggle in), and Arabic. Over the years, I have filled at least five journal books, and I still have most of time. There were times where I went for a year or more without making an entry. Other times, I would write at least one entry a week, if not more. All of these things are things that I absolutely love to do. But yet, today, much of these things are just collecting dust or boxed up and the boxes themselves are collecting dust.

As I thought about that, my thoughts turned to this past week and how much time I spent on social media, especially Facebook. I didn't write down how much time I spent, but between my laptop, smart phone and tablet, I spent a lot of time just surfing the internet or just on Facebook. As the old saying goes, "Take look at what you spend your money on, and you will see what your priorities really are." The same can be true concerning what we do concerning social media, playing video games, etc. How much time we spend on things like that reflect how important they are to us. If one were to compare how much time a person spent on social media verses reading a good book, doing devotions, etc., one might be surprised with what it shows.

On a side note... I did start this blog post over a month ago, sometime early in the morning. I wrote most of it at that time. However, I did not finish it. It is now over a month later and in the middle of the day. Even though I have thought about it on occasion, there have been other things that have been a priority. Work, Drill, children and family, etc. So, I guess this entry is finished and I can move on to others...

RC

Church Priorities, Church Future

For those who do not know me, I grew up Presbyterian USA. My wife, Sharon, grew up United Methodist. In God’s good humor, He brought us together to be husband and wife. Although we have very different experiences growing up, we are both very passionate about following Christ and furthering His Kingdom. Upon returning from a long ‘working vacation’ last week, Sharon showed me a newsletter from our church. She wasn’t happy with it, but wanted me to read it before talking with me about how she felt. I read it and, the more I contemplated what was written, the more uncomfortable I felt.

Here’s a quick background… The Syracuse United Methodist Church was founded over a hundred years ago and has been a significant part of Syracuse, NE, throughout the years. According to some articles that I looked up (the main one being here), the current building was dedicated in 1911. However, this was not the original building. But, on January 5th, 2014, a fire essentially destroyed the whole church. Since then, the congregation has been meeting at a different location in Syracuse.

It has been a long and difficult time since then for all involved. Many things have been discussed during that time. The members of the congregation have been going through a very wide range of emotions, especially of anger, fear of the future, loss, etc. My wife, who is on the one of the committees, has been keeping me up to date on what is going on with the church. I am definitely very thankful for this. We have both been very invested in this congregation for many years. I have been a substitute preacher there and taught an adult Sunday School class as my schedule has allowed. Sharon has been a youth group leader for several years and has helped out in many other ways.

Throughout the last few months, my wife and I have been sharing our perspectives on the church’s future. Our greatest concern has been what our focus is to be, and how we were going to live out Christ’s Great Commission. Although having a church building to gather together in is nice, Sharon and I both agree that it isn’t essential. What is more important is why we are gathering together and what our intentions towards the community is. But, more on this in a moment…

The newsletter had an insert alerting the reader to an upcoming church meeting next month. During the meeting, we will be discussing a potential future of the church. Part of it reads, “We are the CHURCH. We need a permanent home. We need to unite and work together to accomplish our goal ~ to see our new church rise from the ashes!!” After reading this article, a song came to mind (from here):

I am the church! You are the church!
We are the church together!
All who follow Jesus,
all around the world!
Yes, we're the church together!

1. The church is not a building;
the church is not a steeple;
the church is not a resting place;
the church is a people.

A Bible passage also came to my mind, Jesus’ Great Commission to His Disciples. Matthew 28:18-20 (NKJV) says: “And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen.” Here we have three commands. They are ‘to go,’ ‘make disciples,’ and ‘to baptize.’ The one that I am to focus on here, though, is ‘to make disciples.’

A ‘disciple’ is essentially someone who is learning from someone else. That is, a student learning from someone more experienced. In a nutshell, a disciple is someone who is being mentored by someone else. In the Christian context, a disciple is someone who is being educated about the Christian faith so that he or she can nurture and grow in their relationship with Christ. This is really an ongoing process that all Christians should be doing. When one becomes a believer in Christ as one’s Lord and Savior, that person has now been adopted by God and has become a disciple (or learner) of Christ. As a person grows in their relationship with Christ, he or she is expected by God to disciple or mentor others.

Years ago I bought a CD, “Promise Keeprs: A Life That Shows.” On it is an awesome song by Michael Card called, “Bearers of the Light.” To my astonishment, I could not find the lyrics listed on the Internet to share with you. But, in a nutshell, Michael Card writes that all people should have three types of Christian friends, a ‘Paul,’ a ‘Barnabas,’ and a ‘Timothy.’ The ‘Paul’ is a person of a more mature relationship in Christ that helps (and challenges) you to grow in yours. The ‘Barnabas’ is essentially a person who is of similar maturity that you walk with, mutually encourage each other, and share life experiences. That is, a ‘best friend’ in Christ. The ‘Timothy’ is someone of a less mature relationship with Christ that you mentor.

I very strongly believe that our primary purpose as the Body of Christ is to develop and train new believers/followers of Christ. This, as per the Great Commission, is to be our vision and goal. All other things are to be in support of this.

I have attended many different churches over the years in many different places. I have worshipped God during vesper services outdoors during a youth church camp, in a church in Europe dating to before we settle in America, to an outdoor Chapel service while deployed to Iraq. Some of these experiences left me feeling spiritually dry and unfulfilled. While others filled me with a sense of awe for Who God is and what He is doing in the lives of others. But, over all, these experiences have helped me to learn that it’s not ‘where’ one worships, but how one worships. That is, the type of building and location is not the important part. What is most important is the how we worship God. And, I firmly believe, that part of how we worship God in our day-to-day lives is how we live out the Great Commission. In following Christ’s charge (as quoted above), we are enlarging and strengthening the Body of Christ for future generations. Is this a priority for you?

Russia's Adoption Ban

(Author's note: I started this article over a year ago. I am just now finishing it up...)

I had heard about Putin's signing of the new anti-adoption ban. As I've been contemplating it the last few days, I heard another article on the local news. A Nebraska family was in the final stages adopting a child from Russia when Putin signed the law into effect. Now, the family is in limbo with the adoption process. A big question is, will Putin honor a treaty that states, according to the news article, that people trying to adopt a child from Russia be given at least a years notice to changes. You can read the article here. This hits close to home for my wife and myself, for several reasons. First and foremost, because we are wanting to adopt at least one child in the future. This stems out of our biblical understanding and personal experiences. Biblically, we read that we are adopted by God through Christ. Because of our sinful nature, we are separated from a holy and just God. But, because of His great love for US, this same holy and just God also provide a way for US to be redeemed and have a personal relationship with Him.

(From 30JUL2014)

Today, while going through draft blog posts, I found this one on adoption. I did a quick web search and found this article here. This appears to be the most recent article on this particular topic, according to Google search. Being adopted myself, this is a very personal issue. I would not be where I am today if I had not been adopted as a small child. Because of the environment that I grew up in and upbringing that I had, I am the mature adult today. From what I had learned about my biological family, things would have been drastically different had I grown up with them.

If one does a search on the Internet concerning adoption, there are many, many sites that they can look up. Three that I have bookmarked are: Adopt Us Kids, Bethany, and Nebraska DHHS Adoption page. If a person does a Web search, he or she will find a plethora of sites that one can look through concerning children available for adoption, local requirements, the process itself, etc.

Believe it or not, adoption is a significant concept in the Bible. Using Biblestudytools.com, I did a word search for 'adoption' in the New King James Version. I came up with three hits for Romans (8:15, 8:23, and 9:4), one for Galatians (4:5) and Ephesians (1:5). I will use the Romans 8 passage (here) for my example here. The Letter to the Church in Rome (Romans) is a letter that Paul wrote, having not ever been there. Because of this, he wrote a long letter to explain the Christian faith. Having explained how, because of the rebellion of Adam and Eve, we are all cursed with a sinful nature. But, although we were now in rebellion against God (His enemies), out of His love, God provided a way for us to be reconciled. Having been born into sin and having a sinful nature, we would have to be 'born again' (see John 3) in order to become children of God. And, through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, we have that possibility. This spiritual rebirth also meant being adopted by God. One theological dictionary (Baker's Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology) further defines adoption, if you would like to read it.

Just as God chose the Hebrew people to be his heirs and witness to the world, so those who are adopted by God through Jesus Christ become heirs of His Kingdom and ambassadors for Him to the world. To my wife and myself, one way to imitate Christ is to bring someone out of a life of difficulty, loss, etc., and into a new life for of opportunities and experiences that they would not have had in the previous life. Or by bringing them into a life of stability and love that they may have not known otherwise.

I know that there are many stories out there where a child or group of children were adopted, at least on the outside, by a loving family. However, over time, it became apparent that the family adopting the child(ren) had ulterior motives for doing so. Instead of having a new life filled with love and new possibilities, they experienced even more pain, betrayal, etc. However, there are many, many stories out there that tell a different story. A story of a child(ren) taken out of a painful situation and placed into a new one where they not only lived, but were able to thrive and become loving adults who could contribute well to society around them.

Some people adopt because they cannot have children biologically. Others adopt because they want to have a bigger family. Or, they choose to adopted because they want to give a child(ren) who have little hope for a good future a chance to experience hope, love, and a stable life. Some countries have a large pool of people willing to adopt other children. Unfortunately, many countries do not have this. So, people in other countries open their lives and hearts to children from other countries.

For a country like Russia to shut its doors to families of other nations, especially when there are many, many children who need to be adopted, is extremely saddening. Those in power have decided to further abuse those who have little or no hope by preventing them from having a chance. Should they not seek to take care of the widow, the orphan, the stranger, etc., even if it means letting someone from another country do so? I know that God condemned Israel on many occasions for not taking care of such people. Paul and other Apostles challenged the young Church to take care of those who could not take care of themselves. Should we not also do likewise?!

Pentecost

(Author's Note: I started this blog entry over a year ago, but didn't finish editing it until recently.)

I get a regular E-mail commentary from the seminary that I graduated from written by the president.  Some of the commentaries have been interesting and informative.  But, one of the most recent commentaries upset me.  It was about Pentecost and can be read here.  In summary, Michael Jinkins said the main theme of Pentecost was the importance of listening and being understood.  While listening and understanding is always important, it was only part of what Pentecost is all about.

Originally, Pentecost was a Jewish harvest festival, also called the Festival of Weeks.  It was celebrated 50 days after Passover, the celebration of being set free from slavery in Egypt.  It celebrated a time of harvest and when it is believed that Moses received the Ten Commandments.  People would bring their first fruits to the Temple as part of their requirements (see this link on the Festival of Weeks as a basic guide).  Because of all this, many people would be in Jerusalem from all of the known world. That would also mean many people would have another language other than Hebrew or Aramaic as their native tongue.

Also, it is important to know that in the Old Testament, the Holy Spirit (or Spirit of God) would come and rest on a select few. For example, David, some of the Judges, prophets, etc. Though God would listen to people when they prayed, God's Spirit did not dwell in the average person. According to Joel 2:28-32, this is something that would change in the future.

In Acts 1:1-8, Jesus told His Disciples to wait in Jerusalem for the promised Holy Spirit. So, they waited in the Upper Room, in Jerusalem, as per Jesus' instructions. While they were waiting, the Festival of Weeks arrived, which also meant many, many Jews came into Jerusalem from all over the known world. They came to celebrate the harvest, bring in their first fruits, as per Mosaic Law, and celebrate God giving Moses the Ten Commandments. Of course, celebrations like this would include drinking of wine and similar beverages.

Since things happened at about the third hour (the day started at 6 AM, so it would be about 9 AM), the celebrations were just starting. Think about it for a moment.... You are one of tens of thousands of people visiting a major city, with people from all over the world. You're there getting ready to celebrate the bounty of your harvest with many other fellow believers, when you hear what sounds like the roaring of the wind. As you and many others investigate the cause of this very odd sound, a small group of people appear and start talking. You can tell by their clothes and accents that they are probably Galileans and simple people. Even though knowing more than one language is not too uncommon, you soon realize that everyone around you is understanding what they are saying. And you realize that there are many, many nationalities that are around you. And, each of these different groups have a different mother language. It's such an incredible situation that you, and those around you, strain to hear what is being said.

Many, many people from all over the known world are hearing this 'Good News' about Jesus in their native tongue. They become riveted on these common people who are proclaiming this incredible message. God, in His infinite wisdom and timing, waited until such a huge gathering was present to create the 'Birth of the Church.' And, God used an incredible miracle of people speaking in other languages to get people's attention. This was such an incredible miracle, but not the only thing that happened.

What also happened was the birth of the Church. Scripture testifies that at least 3,000 people became followers of Christ that day alone (Acts 2:41). Is that not incredible?! And, this was only the beginning!

People can only learn about Christ when those of us who are followers tell them the Good News. Not just hear, but understand what we are saying. Communication is, of course, always important. There are jobs, like the military and law enforcement, where very clear communication is essential to survival. For something that has eternal consequences, like having a personal relationship with Christ, clear communication is just as crucial. And, that is part of the story of Pentecost. God used a miraculous situation of the Disciples speaking in languages that they had not learned, so that many, many other people could hear and respond. But, that is only part of the story.

The other part is birth of the Church (all believers who follow Christ). This is when God started putting His Spirit (the Holy Spirit) within the hearts of believers. Though the New Covenant started with Jesus' death and resurrection, Pentecost was when the Disciples first started sharing the Gospel with others, and others responded and believed. Pentecost is not just about communication. It's about God giving His Spirit to all who would trust Jesus (the Word of God made flesh, John 1:14) as their Lord and Savior. This was God's New Covenant with us. Though miraculous communication helped get things started, and is always important, Pentecost is the celebration of this New Covenant (the birth of the Church).

RC

Grow Where You are Planted

It has been quite a long time since I posted anything on my blog. On many occasions, I have thought about posting something. This has been because of other priorities, not writing my ideas down at the time and then forgetting them, or for other reasons. Having a full-time job (with occasional or regular overtime), my National Guard duties, wife and two kids, etc., free time is a premium.

I cannot remember if I have mentioned what I do for a living. My full-time job is with the Nebraska Department of Corrections as Custody Staff (current rank is Corporal). With the Nebraska National Guard, I am a 31B (Military Police officer). I am a qualified Traffic Accident Investigator, though I have not done much with that training. Last year, I also completed a 31E reclass school for Military Police Corrections. For those who did not know, that is where the 'Law' aspect of my blog comes into play. Believe it or not, State Corrections is a branch of Law Enforcement. In fact, there are three branches. You have the regular Law Enforcement (local police, sheriff, State Patrol, etc.), the Judicial Branch (the Court system) and you have Corrections. The first apprehends or arrests people accused of breaking laws, the second tries them (guilty or not guilty), and the third deals with their incarceration.

The 'Grace' aspect of this blog comes from the fact that I have studied theology at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary and have a Masters of Divinity (M. Div.). Although I have all the theological training to be a minister and a lot of pastoral experience (both paid and unpaid), I am not ordained.

This makes for an interesting situation for me. A quandary of sorts… My background is theology and ministry. In fact, that is what comes most naturally to me. I am most Spiritually Gifted in Teaching, Evangelizing, and Pastoring. I love teaching, either in a classroom setting or from the pulpit. However, those primary Gifts are not the focal point of my current employment as a Corrections Professional and a MP with the Nebraska Army National Guard. Both jobs are ones that I can do will and can get some fulfillment from. However, it is not what comes most naturally to me. And, sometimes, it is very difficult for me to do. My work at the prison is very stressful at times. And, quite honestly, I have often wrestled with God concerning why I am He has not called me to full-time ministry. When I felt God’s calling to ministry while at Centre College in 1994, the impression that I had at the time was that God was calling me to full-time ministry. That is definitely not the case here!

To be honest, there have been times where I have been very angry with God concerning my current employment. My work, as I already mention, is sometimes very, very stressful. And, since it is not work that totally comes naturally to me (I often feel like a square peg in a round hole), that makes it even more stressful, draining, and frustrating. And, on top of all this, several people have said, “Grow where you are planted.” Yeah… That has felt like salt in the wound on many occasions.

But, in the last few years, it seems that God has given me glimpses of what He might have planned for me as far as ministry goes. And, it seems that it may, as a matter of fact, not be ‘traditional ministry.’ That is, not in a church setting. Currently, I am a Religious Coordinator Assistant at TSCI. That is, my job is to fill in the Religious Coordinator position when he/she is not there. Although I have not filled this role very often, I have found that it comes to me very naturally. Because my work is more of a facilitator then chaplain, it is not the same kind of work that I have trained to do. But, I still get a lot of fulfillment from it, it comes to me easily, and I do enjoy the work that I do. Unfortunately, I just don’t get to do it very often.

I am seeking ordination in the Evangelical Covenant Order of Presbyterians (eco-pres.org). This ecclesiastical endorsement would fulfill the basic requirements for becoming a Religious Coordinator with the Nebraska Department of Corrections and a Chaplain with the Nebraska Army National Guard. I have already started the process. However, things are really going slow. And, yes, that is very frustrating to me.

And, even though the phrase, ‘grow where you are planted’ still feels like salt in the wound. It is not quite as much so. That is because I am better seeing how my previous experiences and training would better open doors for ministry in a prison setting and in the military. I still often feel frustrated where I am and wish that I had a different job. But, as I focus more on fulfilling the work that God wants me to do right now, it becomes somewhat easier to handle.

Perhaps God’s plan, overall, was fulltime ministry. It wasn’t going to be immediately after leaving seminary like I originally was expecting. And, quite honestly, was hoping. And, it turns out, that though I can do church ministry well, that seems to not be where God will eventually call me. Though I could be wrong, it seems that God is seeking to use me in a fulltime ministry with prisoners. At least, that is where it appears to be pointing to at this time.

One of the things I have had to repeatedly learn is that our plans or often not what God plans for us. It is often very difficult, even painful, when our expectations and dreams do not become a reality because God has something else in store for us. But, I am slowly (and, I admit, stubbornly) learning that God knows what is best for me. And, though where I am currently planted may not be where I am at 5 years for now, God still wants to do things through me, where I am at. As I have slowly accepted this, I have seen God better work through me and touch the lives of others. Even at TSCI, I have more clearly seen God at work through me and impact those around me. It’s still painful and difficult at times working there, and I still feel more like a fish out of water than a fox in its den. But, perhaps God still has things to prepare for me (and where He is calling me) that require me to be where I am at right now. At least, after much prayer, meditating on Scripture, etc., that is the comfort that I have. The Lord only knows, though. God only knows.

RC

What Is Your Attitude?

The other day, I saw a post on my Facebook page that deeply grieved me. It was a picture of a Forever Stamp celebrating the Islam holiday Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. I Googled the issue and these were the first five sites that I found, and look at the 'issue' from two different, and very divergent, perspectives. They are from Fact Check.org, Bare Naked Islam.com, The American Muslim.org, The Huffington Post, Creeping Sharia. Yes, I did read through those posts. And, to be honest, their perspectives did not surprise me at all. For those who don't know me, I have been deployed to Iraq three times, two of which I volunteered for. I first went to Iraq from 2003-04, when we went north into Iraq, while with the 82nd Airborne Division. The second time, I found out of an open slot with 867th Quatermaster Battalion, of the Nebraska National Guard. They needed an intelligence analyst, which is what my background was, and I was happy to volunteer. The third time was because I transferred from one unit to another. I transferred to the 192nd MP Detachment L&O (Law and Order) in 2009, knowing full well that they were going to deploy to Iraq in a few years. In fact, we deployed to both the Baghdad International Airport (BIAP) (most of the unit) and a few of us (including myself) were stationed at the International Zone (IZ). Especially during the third deployment, I interacted with many people of very diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, and cultures. And, I had a lot of fun! You see, I have had many rich experiences throughout my high school, college and seminary careers working with people from other countries and with other religious beliefs. Although I might not agree with their cultural and/or religious perspectives, I seek to understand them and to respect them. Because, just as my faith and cultural beliefs are extremely important to me, their beliefs are important to them. In at least trying to understand their perspectives, I find that I earn the right to be heard and respected. Let me share some of the examples that I have personally experienced... While I was in seminary, there were several students from different countries studying at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary, including one from Pakistan and two from Africa. One of the things people will note about a lot of people from Africa is that they often do not use deodorant. Contrary to what many think, they do have hygiene standards and keep themselves clean. But, since they don't use deodorant like we do, they have an odor about them. In fact, at least with the two gentlemen that I knew at seminary, they have a distinct odor. In fact, I bet we all do, if we didn't use deodorant! I remember one evening in particular... I was cooking some food in the basement kitchen of the dorm that we lived in, when I heard someone enter the room behind me. I then noticed a smell other than I what I was cooking. After thinking a few seconds, I said, "Hello, Joshua..." (Not his real name.) I then turned around and, sure enough, it was him. And, he had a very surprised look on his face! When asked how I knew, I can't remember what I said. But, I didn't specify why I had recognized him. Although I did find their odor annoying at times, especially in close quarters, I learned to 'get over it.' I accepted it for what it was, a part of their culture. I'm sure they might have sometimes wondered why we smelled like we did! I worked with the Nebraska Department of Corrections, at Tecumseh State Correctional Institution (TSCI), from January 2006 until about July 2011, and again from March 2013 until present. Years ago, I started reading a book One Church, Many Tribes, and was very interested in learning more about the Native American perspective of faith, Christian or otherwise. I was working as the Gym Corporal at the time. Once or twice a week, a group of Native American Inmates would use one of the music rooms, located in the gym, to do their traditional drumming and chanting. I tried to strike up a conversation with several of them to learn more about what they were singing, what language they were singing in, etc. Most of them didn't care why I wanted to know, and didn't say much at all. However, one individual did. I'll call him "Backbear." (Again, not his real name.) At first he was very uneasy with talking with me. But, when I shared what little I knew of their culture and my desire to learn more, he started to open up. After about a month or so, Blackbear would often stand next to me before or after their Native American drumming and chanting, and we'd chat. Although he still felt uneasy at times being seen with me and talking about faith and culture (Blackbear was, I believe, a traditional Native American of the Lakota or Cheyenne tribe), but willing to endure it so that we could learn from each other. Many times, we just talked about current events, or life in prison, not just about our faith backgrounds. Soon after I started working at TSCI again, I applied for the new position of Religious Coordinator Assistant. And, because of my previous work experience there, and because my very rich experiences working with people of diverse backgrounds, I received the position. Although I have only worked that position about 3 weeks out of the last three months, I have thoroughly loved working it. Even during the hard and frustrating days, I loved what I was doing. One day, I was going to oversee the Muslims doing their weekly 'religious study.' The young man, an African American, who was going to be leading the lesson, came in. As I was doing my customary search of an Inmate coming into or going out of an area, I greeted him in Arabic with, "Salam." He looked at me with great surprise on his face for a few seconds, then said, "Oh, yeah.... You're the guard who actually cares about what others believe..." (Or, something like that.) We then proceeded to talk about Ramadan, which they were currently celebrating, and any issues that they may be having. It was a short but interesting conversation. Several other Inmates showed surprise when I shared with them what little I knew about their religious background (Ma'at, Thelama, etc.) and many have been willing to share what they believe, as well as listen to my perspective. While in Iraq, I really enjoyed learning from the many Muslims that I interacted with. Quite a few of them, including the Muslim translators that we had, often didn't call themselves Shia or Shite, only Muslim. They hated the sectarian violence that was going on and wanted all people to live in peace with each other. Yes, there are some that practice extreme Islam and teach hatred of others who don't believe exactly what they believe. Many other faiths, including some Buddhist and Hindu sects, do the same thing. In fact, there are some Christian churches that teach to devalue, even hate, anything that doesn't match their brand of theology. I do not know how God has used me through my interactions with people of other cultures and faiths. While taking various Gifts of the Spirit tests, two that always rank in the top five are evangelism and missions. Because of my many very positive experiences with people of other cultures and faiths, this is not surprising. These two Gifts work well together, being able to articulate my beliefs, and why I believe them (evangelism), and being comfortable among people of divergent faiths, cultures, traditions, etc. (missions). A Scripture passages concerning this is very meaningful to me. It reads:

6 Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near. 7 Let the wicked forsake his way, And the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the Lord, And He will have mercy on him; And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon. 8 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. 9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts. 10 "For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, That it may give seed to the sower And bread to the eater, 11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. 12 "For you shall go out with joy, And be led out with peace; The mountains and the hills Shall break forth into singing before you, And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. 13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree, And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree; And it shall be to the Lord for a name, For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off." (Isaiah 55:6-13, NKJV)

This tells me that, what ever I do in response to God's leading, God will honor that and bless it. Even if it is done very imperfectly, even with my foot shoved deeply into my mouth, God will still honor and bless it. Yes, there are those of different faiths that believe in, practice, and rigorously teach hatred of those who believe differently. But, that is not the case with all of the people who share that particular faith in general. Do we respond in kind to the hatred, or do we respond by teaching love and peace? I believe that Jesus' Sermon on the Mount is a very good indicator as to what God calls us to do. I will always protect myself and others from those who seek to do harm. However, if one is not currently actively seeking harm towards myself of someone else, then I would be a fool to respond in any other way than to share God's love. And, the most effective way that I have found to share God's love is to show respect towards and seek to understand what others believe. In showing that respect to them, over times, I have found many doors opened to me over time. Doors of opportunity where others are willing to hear what I say when I share what I believe. I rarely see much more than either a nod of respect or appreciation of knowing what we have in common. But, since God will honor and bless what I do in faith, when I get to Heaven, I'm sure God will greatly surprise me with what He did through me. How you view other people's beliefs and customs will greatly influence how they will view yours. Show respect to them and what they believe, then it is very likely that, at least eventually, they will respect what you believe. Show noting but contempt towards what others believe, guess what you'll receive back.... Do you really want to be part of the problem?